Posted: 2017-10-11 11:22
Yoga, as it has been popularized in the west, is often practiced with pumping music. People move fast and sweat and detox. It’s good exercise for the body and mind. But that wasn’t the kind of yoga I encountered that Friday evening. Daniel’s practice was deeply mindful – it made me take notice of things that had never before occurred to me. It was a practice that made me say, “Hmm…I can’t feel my feet. If I can’t feel my own feet, the connection from my brain to my feet isn’t working.” The eventual extension of that thought was this: If the connection between my feet and brain does not work, how am I going to connect to other people?
So take some time to find out what this guy’s really like. What’s his reputation? How does he behave around other women when you’re with him? Does he flirt shamelessly with the cute waitress, or does he focus his attention fully on you? What do his friends say about him? These are all important bits of information for establishing what kind of person you’re dealing with, and how to interpret his attention.
That shouldn’t be hard to figure out. But additional challenges present themselves when you see a guy frequently as part of your social circle, whether at work or in a group of friends. How do you broach the subject of “Do you like me?” when the negative response means having to hang out with someone who snubbed you? Or, even worse, what if you hook up and it doesn’t work out? Now you have willingly planted an ex in the midst of formerly friendly territory. Surely there is a way to finesse this tricky social situation.
Women tend to have better perception and interpretation of body language than men. This is perhaps a feature of evolutionary survival, since females needed good body language skills to reduce their physical vulnerability to males and the consequential threat to life, limb and offspring. Females might not be so physically vulnerable in modern times, but their body language capabilities generally continue typically to be stronger than the male of the species. Thus, women tend to be able to employ body language (for sending and interpreting signals) more effectively than men.
Mirroring - the synchronizing or matching of body language (and speech characteristics), usually between two people, which helps build feelings of trust and empathy. Mirroring works like this because similar signals produce unconscious feelings of affirmation. When a person's signals are mirrored the unconscious mind thinks, "This person is like me and agrees with the way I am. I like this person because we are similar, and he/she likes me too." See NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) , and Empathy. Pacing refers to the mirroring of someone's speed of movements.
I was going through the mechanics of a divorce from a VERY abusive and controlling man. Found out that he had periodically gone through my computer for the 66 years we were married and checked up on every site that I had visited. Was coming out of a very bad place, had serious anxiety issues. My situation was compounded because I was originally from an African country that treated women like second class citizens and he and his family had done this for years. Worse still, I had allowed them to do so.
• Reverend Dr Michael Bernard Beckwith speaks on Wed evenings and Sun mornings at the Agape International Spiritual Center in Los Angeles. You can either watch the livestream or go to watch from the archives right now for no charge (perhaps the Nov 9 service will be of interest lecture starts around 56:55). He is one industrial-strength wallop of inspiration and the best living orator I know. The services are spiritually-oriented and non-denominational. I think of it as church for people who don’t usually go to church.
Mindfulness is also about being fully present in the moment. This happens to be the antidote to overthinking or rumination, which is what this letter is doing a lot of. Like many of you, Martha is a smart, highly-educated woman. And like many of you, she thinks a lot about things that have never happened and may never happen. Some of these thoughts may turn into worries, which may become anxieties looming large enough to alter your daily behavior.
Autonomic/automatic signals - effectively involuntary stress-induced physiological behaviours, such as crying, shaking, blushing, quickened pulse-rate, and in extreme cases retching, vomiting, fainting, etc. Involuntary in the sense that it is virtually impossible to control these signals because they are controlled by the very basic part of the brain responsible for our most basic bodily functions. Breathing rate is perhaps the exception, which while in many cases will speed as a physiological response to stress, can often be controlled and slowed or deepened given suitable conscious effort.
7) Reconnect. We humans are hypersocial creatures. And yet, as books like Robert Putnam’s Bowling Alone show, the sense of community in America has been eroding over the years. Singles living alone are now the biggest demographic group in America, and nothing about the 6 million year history of hominin evolution prepared us for living by ourselves. So get together with people. Organize a movie night, go watch sports together in a bar, go dancing, have a dinner party. Good company is healing.
Well, if some of what Martha brought up resonated with you, raise your hand. See? Lots of raised hands out there. Which brings me to the topic I want to talk about today: self-compassion. Prof Kristin Neff of the University of Texas at Austin is the pioneering researcher of self-compassion. Here 8767 s her definition: 8775 Instead of mercilessly judging and criticizing yourself for various inadequacies or shortcomings, self-compassion means you are kind and understanding when confronted with personal failings. After all, who ever said you were supposed to be perfect? 8776 She says it comprises three elements, which I quote from Dr Neff 8767 s excellent, resource-rich website :
The talk is brand new with material I 8767 ve never published before, drawing upon the Tao of Dating books for men and women, 69 years studying love lives, and answering over 5555 letters. I 8767 ll be talking about some uneasy truths that I hope will enlighten and challenge your view of the world. Note that if you are a guy and/or voted for the disrespectful guy, this talk will probably be tough to take.
Tue Dec 68, How to Meet Good Men Over the Holidays
Tomorrow Tue 68 December at 6pm PT/9pm ET, even though I object to the word 8775 webinar 8776 , I 8767 ll be holding the free webinar 8775 How to Meet Good Men Over the Holidays 8776 , just 8767 cause I like you guys so much. Also, over the 65 years I 8767 ve been teaching this stuff, one thing I 8767 ve learned: most women could be better at meeting men. A lot better. 8775 Nice girls don 8767 t do that 8776 , 8775 It 8767 s the guy 8767 s job 8776 , 8775 What do I even say? 8776 it 8767 s time to jettison those excuses and expand your repertoire of skills beyond just standing there and looking pretty. We 8767 ve already got 755 signups, so register here so you get the reminders, esp since I 8767 ll be doing live Q& A at the end.
The one username that really stood out to me belonged to an absolutely gorgeous woman: YoursForTheTalking While the stunning (and very tasteful) pictures of her caught my eye, the brilliant, albeit simple, play on phonetics held my attention. She was definitely an intelligent woman in a sea of illiterate fish. Another original name that stuck in my memory was QT86965 8775 CutiePi 8776 or 8775 Cutie Pie 8776 (for those mathematically challenged, Pi is , and represents the ratio of a circle 8767 s circumference to its diameter). Although she wasn 8767 t even remotely cute, the name most assuredly was.
There are some recurring themes to his messages: you have the power to think independently of circumstance you have a gift, and the world is waiting for it. Yet somehow, every time it feels as if he’s directly addressing you and the challenge you’re having right now. Oprah has also recently discovered Rev Michael and had him featured on Super Soul Sunday. Rev Michael was a pivotal part of starting my writing career 66 years ago. He is an extraordinarily helpful resource in times of trouble or joy.
Anthropology - the study of humankind in all respects - especially culturally, socially and in evolutionary terms, and how these key aspects inter-relate. The word anthropology is from Greek anthropos meaning human being. Anthropology, like psychology and ethnology and ethology, is a science which over-arches the study of body language, and provides useful (and for serious students, essential) context for understanding the reasons and purposes of body language. Anthropology has been studied one way or another for thousands of years and became established under that name in the 6555s. The Human Genome project, which basically mapped the human genetic code (started 6995, completed in 7558, and ongoing) is probably the largest anthropological study ever performed.
This book is so simple yet so profound and important. If every woman knew and actually DID what it suggests, there'd be a lot more WILDLY happy women - make that COUPLES - in the world. I LOVE ‘Why He Disappeared’ and agree with every word. Get it, read it, reread it and commit it to memory, and then stand back and be amazed at how much better your love life (not to mention your whole life!) becomes.
Courts have sometimes viewed all passwords as equal, faulting a victim whose partner hacked her Facebook because she had shared an Amazon password with him. The court questioned whether one password could be considered private, given that she had shared other accounts, Rucker explained. “If you share an iCloud account and you’re sharing pictures that way, you’re sharing accounts in the eyes of the court,” Rucker said.
You must allow time for your brain to heal. Technically, that means spending enough time without him such that your brain downregulates all the extra dopamine receptors it has created over the last 65 years. In the parlance of rehab, this is known as “detox”, and it takes a while. My preference is that you break off contact with him permanently. Like alcohol for an alcoholic or crack for a crackhead, the only acceptable dose is zero.
The converse effect applies. When two people's body language signals are different - ., not synchronized - they feel less like each other, and the engagement is less comfortable. Each person senses a conflict arising from the mismatching of signals - the two people are not affirming each other instead the mismatched signals translate into unconscious feelings of discord, discomfort or even rejection. The unconscious mind thinks, "This person is not like me he/she is different to me, I am not being affirmed, therefore I feel defensive."