Posted: 2017-10-16 22:13
I didn 8767 t call anyone names you did, however, call me a snotty ass and you also suggested I was making an ass of myself. But I am fine with that (see below). Let me help you understand the flow of my observation (because I lack reading comprehension I must also not understand how to construct sentences which means if I don 8767 t explain my choice of words it is as good as gobbledegook):
As always, any sex is a complex situation for all. It often involves much more than two inadvertently. Some are addicted to sex and require many sex options to get their sexual satisfaction. Others are able to see clearer and further into the vista, with or without sex. Still others have been sexually or professionally used with intimidating secual means. Still others have wanted legal protection to provide them financial protection for new experiences required by others for no fault of their own. And many more scenarios play in media and today 8767 s justification that everything sexually goes: worlds of open and same and animal sex options as seen as social mores. Other.
On January 6st 7558 a 69 year old Stefanie Rengal was stabbed 6 times and leaft to die by a David Bagshaw, 67 at the time, Bagshaw s Girlfriend Melissa Todorovic ( I believe she was 65 at the time), saw rengal as a romantic rival and demanded that Bagshaw kill Rengal. Todorovic cajoled and demanded that her boyfriend murder the girl she saw as a rival.
We 8767 re still far from getting a handle on how we 8767 re impacted by the amount of information we 8767 re bombarded with, not just via the net, but communication technologies of the past several decades. Its impact on dating and such is just one area and not even the most important area where the net can misshape our thinking if we aren 8767 t mindful of how we process the overload.
You have a list longer than your arm of 8766 requirements 8767 filled with things to make potential prospects jump through hoops and making it super easy for you to rule them out, where you get to tell yourself that it 8767 s not your fault that the dating pool is such low quality and how you 8767 re waiting for the 8766 right 8767 guy. You may come across quite exacting on dates and appear aloof and critical, and you may be saying stuff like 8766 I can 8767 t find a man who can cope with my success 8767 .
I saw a key chain with the words 8775 I am not sorry 8776 embroidered. I wish I had bought it to remind me that I do not have to apologize for who I am and my existence. Often when speaking to others there is a worry in me that frets over whether what I am saying is disrespectful or offensive to them. There have been instances where I had said something someone didn 8767 t take too well (totally innocent on my part since there was no ill intent behind whatever it was I said). How do I maneuver that, being overly conscientious of other people 8767 s feelings. But, I think I should have purchased the darn key chain!
I tried to convince him I was worth something, but didn 8767 t really feel it. I still have some pretty raw spots of humiliation feeling like the uninformed, artsy ditz around this person who did international deals. I know I had weak boundaries and shouldn 8767 t have been in the deal with him in the first place I had been working on me and was in a pretty strong place, then about a year of hanging out with this dude around whom I felt so much 8775 less than 8776 has set me back some.
What has changed? MOTIVATION, the driving force to our ambition. But then that begs the question? What motivates men? You guess it: women. The biological imperative of men is to be a provider, find a good women, start a family, buy a house, past on his genetic via children, and live out old age peacefully surrounded by loving wife, children, and grandchildren. Basically, the American dream.
That said, I think that you guys are using all that as an excuse not to have to interact with women. That is my main problem with MGTOW. Come on, you’ll me miserable if you just shy away of women alltogether. You need to get out there, have dates, have sex, experience life, grow up. Not for them, not for women, but for you, for your own well being. Otherwise you will be with antidepressants before you hit 85.
I wish you luck in this regard because.. from many of the ex-pats who have gone before me they tell me it’s not easy being perceived as ‘Rich’. Add in to the culture almost a sense of ‘expectation’ that, depending on the family, can actually reach the reasoning of, “ Well, you benefitted from us allowing you to marry my sister so.. now you help me. ” It’s a crazy logic to those of us who see individuals as the captain of our own decisions. You see your wife as an individual. They see her as an extension of the family they ‘shared’ with you. No matter how you slice it, other ex-pats have their stories of how this gap in views has made for some very difficult situations.
It 8767 s simple. There are two kinds of men, nice and aggressive. The few that are aggressive don 8767 t respect boundaries and so approach anytime. The greater majority of nice men, do respect boundries and therefore look for some form of invitation, a simple lingering smile, a second look, whatever. You see, while we have always thought that men make the first move, this is inaccurate, women do. In most all sexual species, the man stands at a distance, sometimes putting on a display, but always waiting for an invitation to approach. Women have become so trained to 8775 play it cool 8776 that they all seem caught up in their own lives and uninterested in finding a partner. The reason we don 8767 t look closer, because we are still looking, is because no woman LOOKS AVAILABLE. Don 8767 t believe me, try it. Try smiling at strangers and see the impact. I gave this advise to a woman I know and she caught herself a husband and thanked me for my good advise afterwards.
Honestly, my strong suspicion is one of three scenarios is true: 6) You SUSPECT the hard rejection will happen, but haven 8767 t actually ever put it to the test in the real world, thereby creating a convenient, angry yet completely theoretical excuse 7) It happened like that one time, and you 8767 ve projected that one woman 8767 s particularly unreasonable, unusual, wack-job demeanor toward you on all women going forward from there, or 8) if this really is a pattern you 8767 re genuinely, seriously creepy and are simply blind to it.
Meh, I 8767 ve never been a fan of the materialist POV regarding relations this video I find particularly not good in other ways too (bashing pesticides and the misuse of 8775 irony 8776 at about 7:95). Also, look close enough and you 8767 ll find this is a thinly veiled conservative joint (so surprised to find this on the blog ).
As to the general premise of the video and this blog why the 8775 market power 8776 of women has dropped and how it is women came to train mean to treat them poorly it 8767 s all the things They said would actually greatly enhance the 8775 market power 8776 of women The Pill, condoms, abortion, single mom welfare, women-centric employment laws, and most notably, women-centric punitive divorce court culture. Sadly, these things have done exactly the opposite men have more 8775 market power 8776 than ever (both in marriage and casual sex, despite the video claiming otherwise regarding the latter).
Now that my ranting is done 😉 the general premise of this blog entry is of course good advice.
This is the best of both worlds. You show her in a loving way that you acknowledge her concern, and that this is important to you, but it also shows that you have a spine, and she does not run you, like a servant, or child. I am not saying you have to put her off every time she wants something. That would get old. But it is not a bad thing for her to see you stick up for yourself in a gentle way, occasionally, especially when appropriate. It is actually very attractive, and makes her feel safe with you. You are hitting on all cylinders with her by being strong, confident, gentle and kind, all at the same time. You don 8767 t have to be perfect at this, you just have to try.
Definitely. Just this past weekend we were out in-field with a guy meeting women. We met at least 655 of them, and all of them were friendly, sunny and all about fun. To demo exactly what I 8767 ve been talking about on this thread, I then changed my demeanor a bit and got cold, stone-faced, awkward responses predictably. It 8767 s all about how we lead, especially when you see a consistent pattern.
Was there an insult in giving you that choice? Was there an insult in his knowing that he didn 8767 t want to roll the dice on getting emotionally involved with a woman at this point in his life and communicated that up front. Even if you want to get on the questionable ground of believing he was wrong in not being open to all the possibilities, where was the insult to you? I think this is something men and women both do. We get in this trap of thinking of invitations as mandates. I personally agree with you. I would never agree to a ceiling of what I could come to feel for a woman as a condition of a first meaningful involvement with her. But is it productive to feel hurt and insult at being asked if I would? If I was single I 8767 d much rather a woman make that requirement of hers clear up front than find out a couple days later in an 8766 about the other night 8767 convo.
I think the first reason, fear of seeming predatory/creepy, is the strongest factor. But it goes further than that. Among many of my acquaintances, it seems like it’s just “not cool” to do that (which I think is kind of sad.) So there is a type of unspoken peer pressure going on as well. Not only are guys afraid of being seen as predatory by the woman, they are also afraid of being perceived as being uncool and uncouth by the woman and by their peers too. Fear and social conditioning. They don’t think it’s “ok.”
If a woman is met with cold indifference from me, it 8767 s because she 8767 s probably at the bottom of the barrel on every level. I choose not to engage with someone who has literally nothing going for them. But typically, if a woman isn 8767 t even someone I 8767 d consider (but) decent, I find it a nice change. It 8767 s happened at times. Many men do welcome it, and if you don 8767 t realize this, you should ask them.
SE: So I don’t think I have gotten “bonded” in the past because I had sex, I think I’ve had sex in the past, because I was already starting to feel bonded.
Yes. I believe that 8767 s true of me as well. It wasn 8767 t sex that made me feel 8775 bonded 8776 to someone, rather the desire for sex was part of feeling a connection that could lead to bonding.
Sex or no sex, it 8767 s disappointing when the other person doesn 8767 t feel the same connection you do.
He did the exact same to me, whenever I would ask about it he would get angry and tell me he couldn 8767 t tell them because then they would all ask questions and make fun of him. He used to talk about marrying me and when I would ask how could he marry me if he didn 8767 t want anyone to know he was with me, he said that we could run away in secret and get married! Don 8767 t ask me why I didn 8767 t run then. I should have have run years ago. He always said the reason he couldn 8767 t tell anyone about me was because I was older than him but he 8767 s just got together with a new woman who is almost as old as me, they 8767 ve been together just a few weeks and he 8767 s already flying her back to meet his parents and take her to their summer house (somewhere I never got to see). This has upset me immensely. This blog is really the only thing getting me through this at the moment. 🙁