Posted: 2017-11-14 06:13
I am not saying buying gifts or paying bills or providing for you wife/husband/girlfriend/children/parents is a bad fact its a very good gesture which shows that you love and value the such gestures should be shown only when the other person makes an effort to become valuable for you,by earning your love,respect and unfortunately people expect to be loved/respected/admired believe just coz they are born Homo Sapiens they automatically they are AUTOMATICALLY entitled to love/wealth/admiration/respect without making any is why people really make a mess of their own love life and sexual life and hurt innocent disarmed people around them.
Great article learnt a lot from it! One thing though, how does a non-Swedish girl like me start talking to a Swedish guy? They seem really shy and are a bit funny about talking to strangers from what I have heard so how do I do it? Is it best to speak for the first time in person, online or what? I 8767 m 67 and want to move to Sweden in the future so obviously I want to meet some guys as friends and potential boyfriends help much appreciated!x
WOW! I might sound politically incorrect, and perhaps in a horrible way but man I had to react this fika/fake pretending game is awful and the fact that the guy doesn 8767 t even pay for your coffee at the end of the date, what kind of act of courtesy is that??? Wow, thank GOD my hubby only looks Swedish lol I mean seriously, the guy feels brave enough to hit on a girl in a night club, sending her obvious sexual messages, dancing with her, even spending the rest of the evening with her, and the next day he 8767 s acting totally crappy about paying for her coffee I mean, yes I understand it 8767 s a cultural thing and that is how everyone is supposed to behave in Sweden but my gosh this is not right.
Dave, I came around this page, maybe to late for you..
However, in your case you may face difficulties to find someone even to talk to in Sweden. Swedes are not that openminded they say they are. I am in the same situation but I LIVE in Sweden. I am a person that may talk to strangers spontaneously, but here in Sweden people tend to step backward and look at me like 8775 do I know you? 8776 attitude. I travel to the US once or twice a year and don 8767 t get this response. A fika is a DATING, nothing else! It 8767 s just another word for it, because Swedes don 8767 t want drama. Good luck with your cats!
A profile for me? You mean upfront, honest, and direct about what I am and what I want? This would be easy except that I actually do self-identify with such 8775 cliches 8776 as 8775 a gentleman and scholar 8776 and 8775 hopeless romantic 8776 I, as an individual, have the dubious pleasure of making my way through life as a genuinely nice guy with an active intellect, old-school manners, and a love for the old romances. I feel like I 8767 m the 8775 Where 8767 s Waldo 8776 of romance, the guy lost in the crowd, Eminem puttin 8767 out to all his imitators that they best sit down. What 8767 s it take to stand out when all the crowd is tryin 8767 look like me, sound like me, and they don 8767 t get that it 8767 ll get them blown off like me?
Had he just been a goof ball with nothing else to offer it would have been really disappointing. It 8767 s very similar to meeting a guy, that can only banter but has no idea how to make a real connection. That behavior is exciting for a night and maybe even a week, but longer term it 8767 s a huge turn off. So not everyone could pull off this profile. In order to effectively pull off this kind of profile, you have to have the goods to back up with.
That profile looks like it was on reverse steroids compared to this guys profile I have here for you!!! Talk about an attractive man, THIS guy 8767 s POF profile will wet your panties in two different ways, and leave you wondering how many women this guy been inside. Oh, don 8767 t forget to watch yourself judge him with your jealousy while making excuses for your own insecurities.. Yes, its that powerful.. It 8767 s a MUST SEE for anyone who likes a handsome, cleaver, quick witted, fun and totally funny guy
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In my case, when he was 8775 so considerate of my time and feelings 8776 , it was that he was much more considerate of his time and feelings and extremely touchy when i started living with him. When I was meeting him for 8 years, before we decided to live together, he was really the prince on white horse for me, so adorable so adorable .. he was my dream. :/// and just when we started to live together i realized what the thruth was
So we didnt live happily everafter
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Thank you so much for this input!
I had to figure out some of these things the hard way with danish guy, but i think they apply there too.
I just don 8767 t know what to think, when some of them are pushy and call u some nice words or wish to pay your bill? Because I know how the things goes usually there and that confuses me Could you help me with opinion ?
Thanks in advance !
Help. I 8767 ve been seeing this Swede guy for over a month. We 8767 d see each other almost every weekend and he seems really really nice. He compliments me, he smiles when he talks to me, he flushes when i crack a joke, and he makes plans on what to do the next time we see each other. And oh, he remembers details of my life often. We already have inside jokes and we 8767 ve discussed deep conversations as well. I 8767 ve been to his place and we cooked dinner together, I even did some dirty dancing on him
When we went clubbing. But he never really talks about 8775 dating 8776 and just gives me a hug when we see or bade goodbye to each other. I asked him if he 8767 s seeing someone else, and he said he 8767 s not. I 8767 m Asian by the way and he said I 8767 m really sweet and he could feel the warmth and care compared to his fellow Swedes.
I 8767 m very confused. 7 dates and it 8767 s all ambiguous acts. My friend told me to ask him out officially, while the others said i should just wait.
I dont want to ruin how good things are but this has been going on for so long.
I am a woman of color and I am dating a Swedish man. We met online about three months ago. I find him confusing, jealous, a bit controlling but,overall, he is very polite, intelligent, tall and handsome, and dresses very well. At this point, he says he is in love with me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me. He is attentive. Sometimes, he text many times during the day every day professing his love for me. It 8767 s exhausting. I find his attitude strange, to say the least. I thought he was mentally disturbed. I must admit he scared the !!!! out of me. I tried to end it with him several times but he continues texting saying how much he loves me. He would text until I felt like I would vanish from exhaustion. I gave in succumbed. We are still dating and now marriage is in the picture. Too soon in my book. He ends his messages with kisses hugs. Thanks everyone. Your messages has helped me a lot in understanding Swedish men, at least mine. Puss puss
I am black and have lived my whole life in Scotland. I recently met a Swedish girl and I 8767 ll tell you when I heard about the fika thing I laughed as on various occasions I had met with her for coffees and I had thought that it was obvious that I was interested in her. For months I texted her and spoke with her and met up frequently. But apparently it wasn 8767 t obvious to her that I liked her till I asked her to be my girlfriend. But luckily she said that she thought that I liked her but apparently the coffee meetings and such weren 8767 t obvious signs of my affections due to the cultural difference.
You must notice here that all these three vibes are actually three different magnitude of the same attribute .,APATHY. And they practice these three attributes consciously or unconsciously to make unreasonable demands(specially demand of self sacrifice) from people around them without leaving them with any choice or reward or admiration or want to live of those people who exist by their own productive this behavior is not gender specific,both men and women do it equally.
Okay so I have to assume (for obvious reasons) that this applies to meeting someone in Sweden. The man I am very interested in met online, and while we do text a fair bit he does end his texts in *hugs* *kiss* sometimes cuddles or will start his messages in a simple 8775 hi sweetie 8776 . Does this bode well for me? I find that I have a hard time reading Swedish men in general. As I don 8767 t find them as expressive as the American men I 8767 m surrounded by. And what kind of things should I look for culturally when we finally meet?
Lisa, I 8767 ve been thinking about your question. Two explanations seem possible to me. The first one is that he tries to adjust to what he thinks is 8775 normal 8776 for your culture. He might be aware that Swedes are often considered to be too shy and passive when it comes to dating, so he 8767 s trying to be the opposite and is simply overdoing it. The other explanation could be that he actually is very shy and that 8767 s why he makes all these jokes to hide that fact and to disarm a potentially difficult subject. Do you think any of this seems likely? Either way, I think he 8767 s probably very into you, otherwise he just wouldn 8767 t bother.
Of course, there 8767 s also the third option, where he actually is very pushy. However, something tells me this is not the case.
I was recently in Stockholm. One day in the morning a very cute guy caught my eye in the train station. But I was too busy talking with a friend (we were lost, oops) and this guy appeared again from nowhere by our side, he looked at me and got out of the station. I was like 8775 ok, probably he is waiting for someone 8776 , and then, five minutes later, he did the same walked inside the station, looking at me, and went away. Three times. Haha!
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