Posted: 2017-11-14 12:59
As a guy who''s more successful in online dating than most men I just wanted to share my experience. I know, I''m technically adding to the very problem I''m complaining about by dating and sleeping with women I''m not attracted to. But, can you blame me if that''s usually all I can get online? Meet us halfway, you might find a guy who is amazing and will treat you with love and respect. There is a clear divide in what men and women can attain in terms of physical attractiveness online.
Dating sites don''t work!
One year on Okcupid and no messages or dates.
I am a retired 96 year old caucasian man. Being on a dating site for that long has made me feel very ugly and unwanted. I have read over five hundred profiles and I am very turned off by women now. I don''t find women attractive anymore because of internet dating sites. I will more than likely be single the rest of my life now, Thank you internet dating. I give up!
Easy there, buddy. I actually agree with your general premise that 95% of women target the top 65% of men. But don''t go telling someone you''ve never met she''s "way past her prime." I''ve met some absolutely stunning and wonderful women in their 85s and 95s. I do think it''s funny that you label a "hot single guy in his 85s," as tops among men. That''s Me. Let me tell you , they''re not all looking for that. I''m in my 85s and in great shape (best of my life), 6ft tall, friendly, respectful, own a house, two cars, my own business, and vacation around the world. And I still struggle to get women who aren''t overweight or who have kids to respond to me! My guess, for whatever reason, I don''t photograph very well. And apparently, that''s the most important thing. I''ve always done much much better meeting people in bars. Honestly, I''d ditch the computer and go back to that in a second, except all of my friends are married and don''t want to go out anymore. So, if I go out to a bar, I''m the weird guy out at the bars alone. It''s not easy for anybody, unless you look like Brad Pitt.
Then I get down to the decent messages. We chat. I have to ask where they live and work and I flag with them that they are my standard initial questions due to my situation. I don''t mind where they live, but where they work is important because I only have lunch times during work days to do initial coffee/meet-ups. My daughter lives with me, but alternate weekends she is with her father. I don''t want to commit my free weekends to anyone until I''ve met them first and have decided that I would like to progress. My free time is scarce so I''d like it to not go to waste.
I''ve never understood why some guys even bother using online dating websites. The odds are clearly against you. It''s actually easier to just talk to a girl IRL than to go through the monotony of carefully constructing messages using information and references that you got from the profile of the girl that you''re messaging and hoping that they respond to you. Which they usually don''t. Sometimes they won''t even read your message.
People don''t aren''t any different on dating sites than they are/were in "meat market" bars back in the 75s & 85s. Nice guys never had a chance because they were perceived as wimps. Based on my experince and in spite of what AW says, girls seem to go for the "bad boys" (creeps). I don''t know whether if''s the excitement of going out with a "bad boy", or masochism of getting no respect, or the futile hope of changing the guy but girls are drawn to creeps.
The female orgasm is very easy. Friction on clitoris. Mechanical, just like men''s. Since women are human beings just as men are, this is no surprise. Massages/candles not required. Unfortunately, after a few years easy sexual arousal for women requires a new partner. Of course, women CAN still have an orgasm, even if they don''t find you arousing any more, with a bit of work. Monogamy, though difficult for women, is possible.
It needs to be faced that a long term match for those of us who know what we want are going to be 6% if that of the on-line pool. Because for me (I''m gay) a man who responds with a thought out message, has a well thought out profile, or strikes first says something about them as a person. They are not timid, they have self-confidence, they can write, they considerate enough to reply and all of these traits translate to traits in real life.
And no, I will not let a guy spend my weekend with my kid with us - not until I''ve gotten to know him properly and we''ve been seeing each other for a while. It''s to protect my child from getting instantly attached if there is no intention of commitment, and also just in case he is a deviant who preys on single mothers to get to their children. It happens, so I am very cautious. And also the reason why I can''t understand why anyone posts picture of children in their profile - whether it''s their own children or their niece/nephew/godchild. Dating sites are full of perverts. Keep children''s pictures off them. (Sorry, that was going off the topic).
It seems like there is a lot of negativity but online dating is much better. I meet far many more men from completely different backgrounds and industries than I would if I stuck to randomly meeting people by luck. A lot of it has to do with your ability to handle rejection. Performers may audition for 68 jobs before they get a job. It''s not personal especially in the first "online" message round. You just have to believe in yourself and stick with it. It''s not easy for men or women but it is possible.
First off it is important to recognize that those in positions of prestige will seek to maintain their position and furthermore will seek to promote the inclusion of their offspring into similar positions. Secondly our education system isn''t so much a system of learning as it is a system of training. For our society to function we require managers and workers. If our education system really sought to equalize knowledge our current system would cease to exist. Instead our education system is designed to separate gifted from normal students as potential managers versus the working class.
I think be reading the comments here on what women want, one can easily tell why men aren''t getting what THEY want. It''s always funny to see men saying what women really want and what we really think, and with such confidence! Oh, the laughs. Men, you can thank your fellow dudes here for spending too much time in pick-up artist forums, and tainting the dating pool so heavily with these wildly inaccurate childish perspectives they learn from other creepy men. Please do not blame women, for if you had to read dozens of messages from guys in the Red Pill community, who sound more and more like Elliot Rodgers the longer they remain single, you''d probably bow out of dealing with it after too long as well.
I don''t think that''s what is really happening. People don''t really think they''re superior to each other. I think they feel inferior and afraid to reach out to others. They end up staying home and being miserable. They give up too soon. The websites are supposed to be a screening process to find the right person. The next step is to date. I''m a woman who has tried the dating scene on the internet and this next batch can''t get from behind their gadgets. The men won''t even make a phone call. I don''t think they are serious about dating. It''s a lengthy process some times to find the right one. Patience is needed.
I read a study that says women are more picky than men. They fall for the bad boys and think they can change them for the better. In the end, they get their hearts broken because they didn''t change. Again, studies has proven that dating bad boy''s never ever work out. By the time they get older and wiser and go after the nice guy that they blew off. They nice guys end up blow them off. Or is taken. So in the end. To me, both sexes need to relax and stop playing the games and act like mature adults if they''re any more left out there
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Yeah..when I was online dating, I messaged quite a few men. SEVERAL. All at a similar level of attractiveness to myself. Not a single one replied. And in case you''re wondering, my photos were quite nice, and my profile was thoughtful and grammatically correct. All the guys online sift through looking for the "hot girls" and don''t give a crap about anything else -- and then whine that online dating is so hard.
I just deleted my profile on OKCupid and I''ll tell you received many messages from men, some creepy ''hey Baby blah blah blah, some down right offensive, the few that warranted responses, very few I might add, became a back and forth of messaging, I do not understand if the purpose is to meet in person and find if there''s any chemistry why the back and forth messaging? Seems that a lot of men are quite happy to remain behind a screen and those who are up to meeting right away are seeking sex..which is funny really because a woman could go out pretty much any night of the week to a bar and get sex if that''s all she certainly don''t need to go online for sex. One man messaged me and stated he found my profile interesting that we had much in common, we messaged back and forth and then he asked for my cell so we could was 7 weeks ago, never heard from him, it''s like why bother?
There''s another guy on here who''s bragging about getting laid by women he barely knows. It''s following a shallow lifestyle to be after people "who attract you". There are more important things in life than the outward appearance. A person''s character traits are important. Honesty, respect, love, loyalty, dependable, reliable are all decent traits to have. Being with a woman for a long time says that you have been dependable and loyal. I''m sorry that happened to you.
Then I started talking to my female friends. They all had pretty good conversation rates, getting anywhere from 5-75 messages per day. And their conversations tended to last if they wanted it to. What I realized was the dynamic was completely different women naturally start becoming a lot more arbitrarily selective because of this constant initiation. If you don''t stand out with your picture as a man you''re doomed to failure: all the Marissa''s in the world will think of the best looking man that they''ve slept with, say "given the field I can do better", and move on without a second thought. Whether or not you would be a great fit, whether or not you''re a secret agent or a millionaire. It''s totally arbitrary.
Both sides have their rights and wrongs. I always liked meeting people in Internet. I always thought (and I still do) that dating websites are a great idea. I always protect dating websites because of a simple reason - it''s a public place where real people are showing themselves. You found creepy people on dating websites? Sure, but you know that they also exist in real life and you could meet them on a classic date, right?