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An engineer said men were better at tech jobs than women

Posted: 2017-10-12 23:33

Dude you re a Silicon Valley engineer. You re like the elite of the elite. You can afford to live where you do, which presumes some degree of career stability you seem to enjoy what you do (like I said, I perused your page) and I happen to know your company is practically literally swimming in gorgeous women, in product developing & marketing and legal as well as in the more technical departments.

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At that moment the teacher said, “People… you’ve held this position for a long time. I invite you to look at your reaction to that. Are you gritting your teeth and tensing your jaw and toughing it out, even though you’re beyond your capacity? Are you collapsing and quitting because your conditioned mind is telling you it’s too hard, even though you probably could stay longer if you wanted to? Are you feeling proud, or maybe the inverse: inadequate?”

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Awright then! That should give you a few tools for figuring out if a guy has romantic interest in you. Now here 8767 s the thing: I 8767 m just one guy here, but there are thousands of you reading this. And you have the advantage of being actual women! So do you have a tool or technique that you have used successfully to suss out a guy 8767 s interest in you? Then please share it in the comments ASAP! Let 8767 s make this as useful a resource for other women as possible.

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Then, you must find healthy substitutes for the stimulus you were receiving. That makes the cravings easier. Ideally, this would be a commitment-minded guy you really like who likes you back. Quality time spent with friends and family is also good. Spend as much time in community as possible. Mindless sex with strangers would mostly perpetuate the problem you’re already having, so I do not recommend it as a healing modality.

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The talk is brand new with material I 8767 ve never published before, drawing upon the  Tao of Dating  books for men and women, 69 years studying love lives, and answering over 5555 letters. I 8767 ll be talking about some uneasy truths that I hope will enlighten and challenge your view of the world. Note that if you are a guy and/or voted for the disrespectful guy, this talk will probably be tough to take.

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Seriously, there s not a woman I know in the area that isn t single and looking who doesn t complain that the dating market is weak because men they meet seem to either be gay, taken, of so massively misogynistic that they can t function around women and said women don t want to do all the work, and I know a lot of women working for Google, Facebook, Ubisoft, and other tech and video game companies in various roles never mind all the other professional fields that have high ratios of women.

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Another friend of mine in college accepted an offer for a date from a pizza delivery guy, and her friends practically held an intervention. &ldquo You can&rsquo t go on a date with this guy! We don&rsquo t know him! You could DIE!!!&rdquo She wasn&rsquo t even intending on going somewhere private with this guy just meeting a strange man in public who knew that she was unaccompanied was enough to scare them. Admittedly, this was in Texas, which is pretty conservative I&rsquo m sure the attitude is different in other places.

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Well, if some of what Martha brought up resonated with you, raise your hand. See? Lots of raised hands out there. Which brings me to the topic I want to talk about today: self-compassion. Prof Kristin Neff of the University of Texas at Austin is the pioneering researcher of self-compassion. Here 8767 s her definition: 8775 Instead of mercilessly judging and criticizing yourself for various inadequacies or shortcomings, self-compassion means you are kind and understanding when confronted with personal failings. After all, who ever said you were supposed to be perfect? 8776 She says it comprises three elements, which I quote from Dr Neff 8767 s excellent, resource-rich website :

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That s fair. I guess I meant my suggestion more in the vein of if your therapist s recommendation doesn t leave you many women to date, maybe you want to consider yourself or discuss with them the specific reasons for the advice and whether anyone outside the easy-to-follow version of the recommendation might fulfill those. If it s a matter of having a brain that works certain ways, there may be careers where women who would have been engineers but for are concentrated. If it s more the nature or the flow or the schedule of the work, sometimes there are adjacent professions or different ones with similar concerns. If it s both, then yeah, I don t think there s a lot of room to diverge from the advice as it is and that it would make a lot more sense to focus on how to be more appealing to those female engineers who are available.

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Not true. We are raised to believe that the pretty and beautiful woman only goes for the hero. We have to earn her through extraordinary acts. And in the modern day we are raised to believe that she may not want us even then. In every one of those stories you read about the homely man getting the good looking woman, he had to go through some kind of adventure for her. Every last one of those stories.

For example, I learned to not judge a rising emotion or thought – just to see it as neutral energy. If all thoughts and actions are only energy, neither positive nor negative, I can transmute it. I can remove the negative element, and just use the energy. If an unsettling thought would arise, I would ask myself, what can I do other than sit here or numb out through work or busyness or sex or distraction? What can I do to not numb out, to really feel and then leverage the emotion? Can I channel it into awareness, creative force, or even just let it pass through me?

Mindfulness is also about being fully present in the moment. This happens to be the antidote to overthinking or rumination, which is what this letter is doing a lot of. Like many of you, Martha is a smart, highly-educated woman. And like many of you, she thinks a lot about things that have never happened and may never happen. Some of these thoughts may turn into worries, which may become anxieties looming large enough to alter your daily behavior.

Men have been socially conditioned into believing that they are entitled to a pretty, beautiful, or hot woman. This should be so obvious that it really should not be questioned. In human literature, beauty has been one of the key traits assigned to female love interests since Helen of Troy. There are countless works of fiction where an average or homely man ends up with a good looking woman. All this creates an expectation that men are entitled to a hot woman.

Before you start, let me forestall the inevitable 8775 Great, so you don 8767 t have to be hot, you just have to be powerful/rich/more talented than God 8776 . There is far more to attraction than looks though they help or being in the rarified 6% of money, talent or fame. I have friends who aren 8767 t conventionally attractive, aren 8767 t especially rich and are certainly not powerful and yet have amazing girlfriends and wives. Why? Because they have lives. They have passion in their life and know how to convey it. They have the confidence and more importantly, balls. They can make women laugh, feel special without putting them on a pedestal and yet not come across as needy. And they 8767 re not the only ones out there.

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