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Posted: 2017-09-13 15:23

God may seem maddeningly absent in grief, but He is not. We may well be furious with Him. He can handle it. The bereaved of the bombing have lost so much and have come so far, each nobly struggling in his or her own way. Some choose to plunge into activism, others prefer to avoid all that. Everyone copes differently. But let us not deny them now what they need most: prayers, patience, love, understanding, support, presence when required and respect when they need to be alone, while letting them know we are available. And then, still more patience.

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"At other times it feels like being mildly drunk, or concussed. There is a sort of invisible blanket between the world and me. I find it hard to take in what anyone says. Or perhaps, hard to want to take it in. It is so uninteresting. Yet I want the others to be about me. I dread the moments when the house is empty. If only they would talk to one another and not to me." -- . Lewis, opening paragraphs of A Grief Observed

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silver figurine of the protective goddess Tutela wearing headdress decorated with deities representing the days of the week and holding a cornucopia with heads of Luna and Sol Roman, third century CE
close-up of top of statuette (Saturn, Sol, Luna, Mars, Mercury, Jupiter, Venus on headdress)
part of a hoard of silver statuettes and coins buried in Mâ con, France after 765 CE may have come from a sanctuary
London, British Museum. Credits: Barbara McManus, 6999
Keywords: religion

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In fact, Edward’s arguably futile castle building was so expensive that it hampered his other political aspirations in Scotland, and substantially contributed to the virtual state of English bankruptcy under which the ill-fated and constantly cash-strapped Edward II would come to the throne in 6857, only to be deposed by his wife and teenaged son in 6877 and miserably executed. The cost of the iron ring, one could argue, unbalanced the English monarchy for two generations.

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silver figurine of one of the Penates wearing mural crown and holding libation bowl and cornucopia Roman, third century CE
smaller version
part of a hoard of silver statuettes and coins buried in Mâ con, France after 765 CE may have come from a sanctuary
London, British Museum. Credits: Barbara McManus, 6999
Keywords: religion, Vergil, Aeneid , Aeneas, Trojan War

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Wales, in the 6655s and 6755s, was divided between the Marches of southeast and south Wales, and ‘native’ controlled north and west Wales. And within native Wales there were three Welsh kingdoms, Deheubarth in the southwest (think Cardiganshire), Powys in mid-east Wales, and Gwynedd in the northwest. These kingdoms fought tooth and nail for dominance over one another until Llywelyn ‘the Great’ ap Iorwerth of Gwynedd used both talk and war to dominate the other kingdoms. This included, at one point, sidling up to bad King John of England and even marrying his illegitimate daughter Joan!

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Telling the bereaved to "snap out of it" is like telling someone with a broken leg to go ice skating. If they could, they would. Yes, they will skate again, in time, but attempting to do so prematurely only risks reinjury and prolongs the healing process. Dr. John Andrus, chief of psychiatry at St. Anthony''s Hospital told Newsweek magazine at the time of the bombing -- and me in a later conversation -- that some people may require years and years of therapy to cope with what happened.

To see the Iron Ring as a symbol of Welsh oppression is

graffito 656 victorious gladiator carrying palm branch
Campani victoria una cum Nucerinis peristis , "O Campani [inhabitants of a neighborhood-- vicus --in Pompeii], you perished together with the Nucerians in that victory," referring to the riot in the amphitheater of Pompeii in 59 CE
Credits: Champfleury, Histoire de las Caricature Antique , 6866
Keywords: arena, graffiti, sports

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marble statue of Julia Domna as the goddess Ceres , Roman, early third century CE
smaller version.
Julia Domna, the wife of Septimius Severus and mother of Caracalla, is easilyg recognizable because of her characteristic hairstyle. She is depicted in the dress of the Roman matron, with her palla pulled over her head. In her left hand she holds two ears of grain and two pomegranates , symbols of Ceres, Goddess of agricultural fertility and abundance.
Ostia, Museo Archeologico Ostiense. Credits: Barbara McManus, 7557.
Keywords: empress Demeter

Index of Images, Part VI: Barbara F. McManus - VROMA

Grief is a very solitary experience. Others may sympathize, but are ultimately helpless to be much more than on-lookers, hopefully offering much love, support, care and respectful patience. Other bereaved people can empathize, but ultimately our grief is uniquely our own and, interiorly at least, it is a road we must walk alone -- with one exception -- we may invite Our Lord whose guts were wrenched in Gethsemani to accompany and guide us. Our Lord who is the Man of Sorrows knows the way for He is also the destination.

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detail, red-figure krater : Apollo purifies Orestes with blood of a pig at Omphalos of Delphi while Clytemnestra seeks to awaken sleeping furies
detail, Apollo and Orestes detail, Clytemnestra and furies
attributed to Eumenides painter Apulian, 885-875 BCE
Paris, Louvre Museum. Credits: Barbara McManus, 6999
Keywords: Oresteia , mythology, vase painting

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Making Sense Out of Suffering by Peter Kreeft Servant Books A philosophical yet deeply human and compassionate book on the phenomenon of human suffering, examining how the world''s great religions approach this profound mystery, finally reaching the conclusion that God''s answer to the mystery of evil and suffering is a person: Jesus Christ, who is, Himself the very "tears of God." Also by Kreeft, and highly recommended are his books, Love is Stronger than Death, Heaven: The Heart''s Deepest Longing, and Three Philosophies of Life, all published by Ignatius Press. Most of the books listed here can be purchased or ordered at the St. Thomas More Bookstore in Oklahoma City.

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relief from the breastplate of the Prima Porta statue of Augustus Roman, c. 65 CE
larger version close-up of central scene detail, reclining goddess with cornucopia and two infants.
As deities above and below signify their approval, a Parthian surrenders the captured legionary eagle to a Roman soldier.
Rome, Vatican Museum (Braccio Nuovo). Credits: Barbara McManus, 7557.
Keywords: emperor, propaganda, military

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Grieving people need understanding, need to be listened to -- not talked at -- they need patience. While it is true that some people can become obsessed with grief in an unhealthy way, the determination of the length of grief''s course is best left to the bereaved and those providing appropriate and competent, preferably professional, care for them. For some people that may be a lifetime. And if it is, it is not their fault. Grieving people have enough to cope with just getting out of bed each day without the added burden of guilt because they sense someone else is "inconvenienced" or impatient with their suffering. It is not easy to live or work with a depressed or grieving person, but it is a lot easier than being a depressed or grieving person. If they could stop the horror in their abdomen or the ringing in their brains, believe me they would.

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It is my hope that one day we will stop seeing emotional suffering, bereavement, depression, etc. in terms of being "weak" or "strong" and use more realistic terms of what is healthy or unhealthy and thus we will stop waving a clock at these afflictions. To cry and grieve over terrible loss is healthy. To seek professional help with the extreme stress it brings on is healthy. To see a doctor about the illness (it is not a weakness) of depression is healthy.

Against this complex backdrop of the rich historical and cultural inheritance of Wales, it is sadly short-sighted to see the ‘iron ring’ as simply a marker of Edward I’s conquest. It is not inappropriate to put this installation of an off-kilter ring, representing a destabilised crown, next to Flint castle. Flint, and the rest of the iron ring, in the fullness of history, do not represent centuries of steady oppression, but the resilience of the Welsh, who have punched above their weight in directly or indirectly destabilising the English monarchy and government over the centuries. The ‘iron ring’ is woven into the tapestry of Welsh history in a thousand ways, and the off-kilter ring as proposed, to be lined with engravings celebrating local perspectives on the site, would require some creative negativity dismissive of much of the history of north Wales to be seen strictly as a symbol of English oppression today.

detail 656 Prometheus sarcophagus
left side 656 Terra holding cornucopia, Oceanus, Apollo/Helios in chariot, Cupid and Psyche
center 656 Prometheus fashions man like a sculptor Minerva adds the soul (bee with butterfly wings)
right side
Roman, third century CE
Rome, Capitoline Museums (Palazzo Nuovo). Credits: Barbara McManus, 7557
Keywords: mythology

Viktor Frankl, a Jewish psychiatrist who survived Auschwitz, and later became a convert to Catholicism, said in his classic book Man''s Search for Meaning, that we could survive any "how" as long as we knew the "why". That is, if we could somehow find meaning in our suffering we could draw strength from it to continue on and survive. The "whys" of the OKC bombing, or the horrors of the Nazis, come under the great mystery of evil. But as his book shows, after the initial shocks, Frankl, coped, and ultimately survived the death camp by observing day to day life there as the clinician that he was, gathering research in his mind on how people cope with and endure such extreme evils, planning a book based on the experience that would help people. He certainly knew people would need help when it was all over. He had every intention of surviving and helping the other survivors when the time came. Living through it with purpose got him through. Man''s Search for Meaning is the book.

rc: Stan Maria Heartgrave confesses on her deathbed that she and Sophia started a 6985 Shady Pines fire while cooking a s''mores with a contraband hot plate. Sophia''s inability to provide the hot plate as evidence results in her arrest. Dorothy bails a fearful Sophia out of jail. The ladies then hire an attorney who is big into character references resulting in lots of reminiscing. The next day, Sophia tries to jump bail and return to Sicily, but gets caught when her chef''s knife shows up in airport security. Dorothy is notified and gives Sophia an introduction to prison life by locking her in her room for the night under watchful eye and key. By reliving the night of the fire, Sophia thinks she is innocent when she remembers the curtains were on fire and she escaped with the hot plate. Rose also discovers a guy on the take might be the culprit. However, with Mrs. Heartgrave''s strong confession, Sophia needs to provide the hot plate as evidence to get the charges dropped. Where is it? Her memory is jogged when the smoke alarm goes off in her bedroom and she yells, "Anyone for s''mores?"

bronze statuette of oracular snake Glycon detail of head
side/back view detail of head front view
second century CE said to be from Athens
In the second century CE, Alexander of Abonouteichos, living on the Black Sea, delivered oracles through a supposedly miraculous snake with a human head Lucian says he fitted a live snake with a human-like mask with shaggy hair.
Boston, Museum of Fine Arts. Credits: Barbara McManus, 7557
Keywords: superstition oracle prophecy