Dating men vs women

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Date: 2017-08-13 10:24.

I am against violence towards anyone, and would like to see any miscreant who abuses anyone be put under the jail. I believe in tolerance. Everyone should be able to live the life they choose, how they choose to live i as long as they aren 8767 t hurting anyone, be they straight, gay, trans, bisexual, or nonsexual. But having said that, why is is so important for gay people to be out and proud, but it 8767 s a private matter for a transgender person to reveal themselves? Why not be proud of that too? I don 8767 t get the hypocrisy.

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Today we live in a commercial age, which makes us act and think in a certain way. But nobody teaches us that we ourselves who have the last and first word to choose what we want. At the moment we stop thinking about others and really see what we are as human beings, then we can stop so much garbage. I am a trans woman and I 8767 m proud to be and definitely the value that I have as a person is unique and unsurpassed. Today I decide how I want to live and do it with dignity and respect, and decide what kind of woman you want to be. A KISS FROM MEXICO

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Seems like the most logical reason to date an older man, right? Most people assume you are dating an older man ONLY for that reason. The fact of the matter is most older men have their 8775 ish 8776 together! But that doesn 8767 t mean that every lady who likes an older gent is a gold digger. In fact, there are studies that suggest differently. Accoring to the University of Dundee in Scotland, 8775 as women become more financially independent, their taste may skew toward older (and better-looking) men. 8776 Most women love the thought of stability. Being with a man that is well off or just more financially responsible is comforting, especially when you are planning out your future.

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Panther Thank you for your frank remarks. After reading them, I 8767 m moved to ask you the following: What if a transgender woman (a) doesn 8767 t dress 8775 provocatively 8776 , (b) gets along with others including other women, (c) does not bring more 8775 drama 8776 than the average person, (d) does not talk using a lot of 8775 street 8776 colloquialisms, yet IS obviously transgender? How would you feel publicly dating such a person?

How Society Shames Men Dating Trans Women - Janet Mock

Most of the time, as you go about your day wearing the wrong size pants, you 8767 ll be able to ignore how it feels. You 8767 ve got other things to think about, more important stuff to deal with. But the discomfort is always quietly there as background noise. If you have a minute in which you don 8767 t have anything else to do, your discomfort with the badly-fitting pants might come back up to the top of your mind, and you 8767 ll think about how you 8767 d really rather have a pair of pants that fits you and wish you were home so you could change.

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I 8767 ve tried various approaches to dealing with my gender over the course of my life. I 8767 ve tried dressing and acting in a more feminine way, and I 8767 ve tried dressing and acting as an androgynous or masculine woman. It still doesn 8767 t feel right, even all the way over on the butch end of the spectrum. I 8767 ve never felt good about calling myself a woman or being referred to as 8775 she. 8776 The discomfort with my body has grown slowly worse as I 8767 ve gotten older. I couldn 8767 t tell you why, but that 8767 s how it is.

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I cannot tell you enough how refreshing it can be to date a man who can actually teach you a thing or two, who can guide you in the right direction, who can bring you back to reality when you are spinning out of control. Dating older men is just like that. They can be your tour guide through the parts of life you have yet to see. I often have felt when I date men in my age group that I am the one leading the way. I end up feeling like a mother instead of a girlfriend. It 8767 s nice to be able to take a position in the other seat every now and then.

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I totally agree with what you say about language. Words have power and it 8767 s important that they convey the exact meaning and concepts we intend. I liked the fact that you put the scare quotes around the word 8775 passable 8776 but I think I would disagree with linking so called 8775 passability 8776 to attractiveness. After all, isn 8767 t the whole point of the article that people can be legitimately attracted to trans people?

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When I was a girl finding myself, I was met with similar questions and believed I would never find someone to love me. I had learned that I was unworthy and undeserving, and it took me years to release myself from the shame and stigma society had forced upon me as a woman. A man 8767 s desire for my body, my brain, my brilliance and my existence is not a laughing matter because I am not a joke.

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Dear Janet,
I read the article and just thought, this is an idea whose time has come. I am a straight man who has dated a transgender woman. I did not have an issue with it because I met her as Jan, liked her, took her out and only later learned her secret. But I had already decided I liked her for herself. Her secret took some wrapping my head around, but I did, and I was fine with it. And it was not just a fetish, we went out openly, and she was a wonderful woman. This was years ago when she would not have been able to be as open as you are. I look forward to reading your book when it arrives.


I identify as pansexual as well, but for a long time I identified as a lesbian. As a teen, I was ignorant about trans experience. I didn 8767 t understand how anyone 8775 could choose to change their gender. 8776 As I got older, I met people who helped me shed that ignorance and open my mind. I went on a date with someone who was genderqueer back in 7559. Their gender made no difference to me, I liked them for who them was. It was then, I realized that gender was no longer such a defining factor in terms of dating for me. I 8767 ve dated and had crushes on a few trans people. I 8767 m glad you wrote this piece because people need to be made aware that shaming is harmful and unacceptable. It 8767 s something I 8767 ve experienced as a woman with a disability. Trans women are women and they are beautiful! If I was dating a trans woman, I wouldn 8767 t let anyone shame either one of us. Women are women, love is love.

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C 8767 mon now. so don 8767 t be these 65 things and what do you have left? A robot with no emotions. Girls you don 8767 t understand how hard it is to be a guy, trying to compete and impress a girl, and trying o be themselves on top of that. Don 8767 t be so quick to judge, because I guarantee you aren 8767 t 8766 perfect 8767 , and you shouldn 8767 t be either you learn to love the person for who they are, or don 8767 t become involved with them, and certainly don 8767 t lead them on. same applies to guys.

He is married & that 8767 s wrong so trannies who support that are part of the problem.
If trannies could get somebody to marry them then they would feel the same way too.
Mr. Cee 8767 s secret keeping & lying and creeping affects his whole family and children.
This has less to do with the tranny and more with the chaser.
He is a Tranny chaser!
Married, creeping on the blvd
Taylor Murphy ( the fire fighter ) is more of a stand up guy because at least he is engaged to a Tgirl.
He repeats, treats the ones he goes with well. He may have fought with her, but what couple dont fight.

Did you forget the biggest turn off? When guys check out other girls right infront of you. Guys this is a no no because this is a form of rejection. And nobody likes feeling rejected. What you are really saying when you check out other women is 8775 I don 8767 t really want you enough 8776 or 8775 there is much better than you out there 8776 or 8775 you 8767 re not enough 8776 among other ones. When you 8767 re sending that signal to the girl you 8767 re on a date with, she 8767 ll assume you 8767 re not interested in her.

Now I even get the part about people feeling they were born with the wrong body, or the brain of the opposite sex but we can 8767 t see a brain. When a Black man walks down the street, from a distance he can be President Barrack Obama, but all some people will see is a Black man,or a more offensive pejorative starting with the letter 8766 N 8767 . Then proceed to clutch their purses and lock their car doors. There is nothing the average Black man can do in that moment to feel more accepted by the world, or to put people at ease. To many, he is immediately categorized because of his Blackness, nothing else. So it is offensive to some Black people to have our strugglse compared to gay issues or transgender issues. Yes there are similarities, but it 8767 s a whole 8766 nother thing to many of us. Just like there are similarities between a natural born female and a trans woman, but it 8767 s still a whole 8766 nother thing. When Rock Hudson, Portia Di Rossi,or my next door neighbors walked down the street, they were just identified as White men/women, not gay or bi, or anything else until they told it.

Shame IS a factor because no one should treat trans people differently, no one should disrespect them, and society should not feel ashamed of them. But they are treated differently, as the article describes. Regardless of whether or not you would date a trans person, it should never be shameful that someone else does, or even that trans people exist. They deserve the same treatment as others. Much like other LGBT individuals, people of color, of different ethnicities, etc.

No one is really 8776 shaming 8776 these men.
They should be ashamed of the fact they get women pregnant , & ruin their lives with the games & going back and forth. Every type of marriage is legal now in NYC.
Why dont the type of men that secretly enjoy Trannies stay with them?
Because they are sneaky cowards, and they are SELFISH and want the best of all worlds, so they creep in different worlds and communities.
Married, & seriously committed men get NO pass whatsoever in my book for this.
These guys are ashamed of themselves for being liars. Thats not society 8767 s fault

Maybe some transgender people feel it 8767 s not fair, or it shouldn 8767 t matter but unfortunately it does to many. Shame wouldn 8767 t be a factor if trans people only dated those who were openly accepting of them and what they stood for as people. The same holds true for anyone who dates someone who doesn 8767 t respect them enough to be seen with them in broad daylight as well as behind closed doors.

I will digress a little here to note that blaming 8775 patriarchal society 8776 for this circumstance does not quite add up. Let 8767 s say for the sake of argument that society is matriarchal and that women have more power than men. In such a society, those cisgendered women who like it that way and want to preserve their gender privilege may well tend to view transwomen with hostility, seeing them as 8775 social climbers 8776 seeking to enter a higher status gender than the one into which they were physically born.

if i am not a trans woman, how can i go about affirming the value of trans women in a way that does not drive their fetishization as trans women or an intersecting oppression (as woc, for example)? i 8767 ve seen a lot of discussions on trans women in trans and queer spaces, and i want to stop decentering my needs because i don 8767 t experience transmisogyny. however, i don 8767 t want to fetishize or other trans women (or other people who are excluded and may experience transmisogyny, such as dmab nonbinary people). i consider my first duty to demand inclusion of trans women in women 8767 s spaces and make sure i 8767 m not constructing the Default Queer and/or Trans Person as DFAB.

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