Posted: 2017-10-27 16:46
8775 which is fine, if you believe men have to take this action because thats
what men have to do, then fine, but don 8767 t obfuscate the issue of
difficulty by saying it 8767 s not harder, or saying 8775 whether its easier or
harder isn 8767 t the issue 8776 that 8767 s the topic of the thread. I can go around
saying, 8775 despite the topic of the thread being easier vs harder, it 8767 s
truly about blue chickens 8776 but it wouldn 8767 t make too much sense now
would it. 8776
Men have it easier for sure. They are in complete control of the direction of which things are going to go. If I was a guy I 8767 d be having dates lined up every week because if all I had to do was ask someone out and then pay for it that is so easy. But women on the other hand have to wait to be asked out by a guy she likes because if she tries to take the reins and does the asking it kills the chase. I know maybe a few guys might go for that but honestly in my opinion guys are the ones in control.
I''m not messaging guys out of my league. I don''t want a guy that''s super fit and looks like a movie star. I want a guy that I''m attracted to, but that I''ll feel comfortable around. Eventually there would be sex, which won''t happen if I''m too self-conscious or if I''m grossed out at the thought. So if I dream up my perfect man, he''s going to be a little hefty, he''s going to have a receding hairline and his face won''t be clean shaven, he''s going to wear comic book characters tshirts, he''s also not going to be hugely successful, but he''ll have his act together, he''ll be well educated, and sarcastic, and a little bit dark, and if I were that guy, yeah, I''d date me because I''m pretty sure if I were a guy, this is the guy I''d be. I think perhaps you''re reflecting your own insecurities and prejudices on others.
What if all the no-no that you have mentioned above is done by the guy instead? Like being very demanding, asking why am I moody and this and that, where have I been, why didn 8767 t I reply INSTANTLY anymore like I used to, making me feel pressured that he can 8767 t live without me in his life etc. How do I deal with it? I did tell him a few times that it 8767 s sometimes kind of annoying, but he says he gets it and goes back to doing it. And I feel I 8767 ll will burst if I have to repeat it again.
It needs to be faced that a long term match for those of us who know what we want are going to be 6% if that of the on-line pool. Because for me (I''m gay) a man who responds with a thought out message, has a well thought out profile, or strikes first says something about them as a person. They are not timid, they have self-confidence, they can write, they considerate enough to reply and all of these traits translate to traits in real life.
Dear Jessica your situation is as tough as can be because you are doubly vulnerable. We would say to continue loving him, but protect your family by not allowing sex without a condom. Therapy will likely not work. As you say, he is too immature. But this is not a family buster unless you are the one to bust it.
Taking care of his physical needs is not what is meant by taking care of a man 8767 s needs. He, like you, needs unconditional love. It would be wise for you to use our course or, at the very least, read one of our books both spell out much that you need to learn.
Dump him! But the final decision is yours. When you are so inlove, you don 8767 t know what is the right thing to do. You know when a guy doesnt care about you in even the simplest ways (texting where you are, or did you get enough rest or what are your plans for the day) means he doesnt care! Texting or giving your special someone a call should be as easy as BREATHING! but if you really do not care or have less affection for the person (different than what he claims) fact is, he wouldnt bother care! You deserve better. Move on, he is not worth a single love 🙂 Will be difficult, but you will be surprised as to how strong you are when you finally moved on, and most importantly, you will have a high respect yourself.
I think that a large part of the problem with online dating is how we view ourselves and others. The vast majority of profiles I''ve seen read like job applications. It seems as if a healthy smattering of keywords is all that is required to share who we are as individuals. The majority of profiles are as similar as mainstream medias concept of beauty. In the end there isn''t much to differentiate one profile from another.
There is a staggering level of straw man thinking displayed here. I 8767 ll write back to all of you when I have the bandwidth to compose a lengthy reply. I sincerely feel bad if you think that you don 8767 t have the capacity to delay intercourse because a) you WANT to have sex (even though it 8767 s been proven to be generally a bad idea and makes women overall less happy or b) you 8767 re afraid he 8767 ll leave. I promise: if he really likes you, he 8767 s not going anywhere (yes, even if he 8767 s an alpha male). If he goes away, he didn 8767 t really like you that much.
But setting that aside we re in one of the most population dense areas in the US. There are hundreds to thousands of tech companies in the area, which means he can also go outside his specific company, and in general there s a LOT of women in the Bay Area, and it doesn t take much to find single s groups that are set up both by companies and outside companies, there s meet-, there s just loads of opportunities to meet women in warm-approach environments.
We could term this "hypergamy" as some commentators do.. which makes the females sound quite like lab rats and gives the (male) commentator a horrendous, vile, disembodied ocularity, but that''s not my deal at all. I know that females are smart, informed, and selective, and have strong capacity - in most places, thankfully - to exercise choice about mating habits. Females also possess very strong sex drives and know how to get what they need and want, whether it coincides with the NiceGuy/bf/hubby or - often - not.
Unfortunately, the reality is nowhere near that fantasy. To get some insight into what women go through on these dating websites, I pulled aside one of my family members who I knew had spent some time on these sites looking for her future spouse. By the time of this interview, she had already given up and moved on, finally discovering her future husband while visiting old friends at her alma mater. Her responses completely surprised me.
While I was coming out of my self-imposed exile I worked on more of what I think of as the science of marriage. Not being a writer has its drawbacks, but I pushed through, and wrote another book for training marriage therapists, with more technical depth on the topic of marriage. My second book came out about the same time I decided to make all my work available through a new non-profit, The Marriage Foundation. It was an ex-navy seal friend, turned divorce mediator, who invited me to Second Saturday Divorce Advice Workshops to save marriages, which still could be saved. It was really his idea to go non-profit. I 8767 m glad I did.
Before you start, let me forestall the inevitable 8775 Great, so you don 8767 t have to be hot, you just have to be powerful/rich/more talented than God 8776 . There is far more to attraction than looks though they help or being in the rarified 6% of money, talent or fame. I have friends who aren 8767 t conventionally attractive, aren 8767 t especially rich and are certainly not powerful and yet have amazing girlfriends and wives. Why? Because they have lives. They have passion in their life and know how to convey it. They have the confidence and more importantly, balls. They can make women laugh, feel special without putting them on a pedestal and yet not come across as needy. And they 8767 re not the only ones out there.
I think looking for ways to expand your social circle is just as practical, if not more productive than online dating. Take classes, join fitness groups, find the community social events, get involved in a fundraiser, crash AA meetings (KIDDING), learn to golf, join a country club, if you have a dog, make friends at the dog park. DOn t just focus on meeting men, or even friends, just try to make more social acquiantances and expand your social world. And if your kids find anyone cool to try to make a match with, give it a shot they will screen out the weirdos!
I do have a friend who works in this system, where the order is applied for, and she said it is ridiculous how often this is abused. But, she said the reason it happens is because too many people take it lightly. Big deal, a restraining order. Their attitude is that they don 8767 t want to spend a bunch of money on a lawyer for something so trivial, but it 8767 s not trivial. It is far more than just an official order telling you to stay away from somebody you may want to stay away from anyway. And in this information age, it is only going to get worse.
if u love a guy and he call only when he need something from you and you be the one that will call him all the time and he did something to me by invited me to come and see why his father is around but sometimes he will call but our conversation will not last about 65mins and he dudge some of the things i want him to do for me but he always show concern in my dressing and if i did not dress very well he will tell me do you think he likes me or love me
If a man is at work, then that is the sole center of his world and nothing exists outside of that. The fact that a man doesn 8767 t text you as much or as often as you 8767 d like doesn 8767 t mean he doesn 8767 t care about you – he 8767 s usually just focusing on something else and most men have a difficult time seeing beyond a given task at hand. This is hard for most women to understand because women can switch from one task to the next and back again with much more ease.
I 8767 ve noticed that there 8767 s a topic that comes up repeatedly when it comes to talking about dating issues, whether it 8767 s about the problems with being a Nice Guy , online dating , or even just approaching new people : the idea that women hold all of the power in dating. They are The Choosers, the gatekeepers to the Promised Land 6 , cruel temptresses who taunt men by being attractive and yet unavailable. Because sex is so much more easily attainable for women or so the conventional wisdom goes they have luxury of being able to define the standards which men must meet, wantonly cutting off men who are not rich, tall douchebags with square jaws and fast cars. Men feel helpless they feel that they are forced to leap through hoops in order to win women 8767 s approval and hope that she will pick him against all odds.
He is also 65 years older than me might i add.. and i clean up very well, most people tell me i look 85-88, he is 57. i always tell him how fine and sexy he is. nevertheless he is unhappy with himself and i hate to leave. The reality is that he says if i go i leave with my bags, since i haven 8767 t worked in 9 years, yet he allowed me to 8775 retire. regardless he doesn 8767 t want to stop fooling around and i will not stay just to keep a half million dollar home. it wont happen!! am tired..so tired i will be publishing a book about this new social media and will include all my real time notes to date!