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Online Dating - Men Don''t Get It And Women Don''t Understand

Posted: 2017-12-07 23:02

and as i told the people i love and trust about this, i was asTONished by their reactions they were so unbelievably supportive, they THANKED me for including them (in ? my nightmare? how much must you love me to thank me for that?) and for trusting them (however much i babble on here about details about my life, i 8767 m actually pretty private and what i 8767 m going through is really personal), and they 8767 ve been sweet and understanding and CONSISTENT with me. they showed me what it looks like when someone actually really cares about you. they taught me about love, and i pride myself on being loving yeah. i 8767 m an amateur.

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Women (statistically speaking -- not meaning to generalize too much here), are very emotional and social. By emotional, I don''t mean crying all the time, I mean they read very much into every little statement and facial movement you make in order to draw as much meaning as possible out of what you''re expressing. There are two disadvantages guys have in the scenario where you''re only offered writing as a vehicle to impress a woman.

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Theirs this guy who works right next door to 8767 s really cute and I like work in that store with my mom she owns it well sometimes I catch him looking at me,passing by the store today while I was cleaning I saw him standing in his store and he was just looking at me and I know I saw him look at me its not just in my today I caught about 8 times standing by the exit of his store looking at mom said when I left to buy something he passed by the store 7 times the store looking for something we don 8767 t talk to each other but I think he could actually like me I don 8767 t really know but could someone tell me what to do help please!

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But what I don 8767 t understand is that I don 8767 t think I have a 8766 narrcissistic wound 8767 . I was actually led to believe that I was 8775 lazy dumb & stupid 8776 as a child. As an adult I 8767 ve realised adult that I was most probably (at least to some extent) academically gifted a trait which remains to this day, & in fact highly motivated to succeed to extraordinary high levels at pretty anything I set my mind to!

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I never said minimum wage was $ where I lived that was the 8776 just me 8776 person minimum wage where I live is practically $8 an hour. Secondly like I said I made a poor judgement call but that 8767 s for me to handle. The point to my story was not all single mothers are welfare whores, and not all of them are looking for someone to provide for them and take care of them and step in as a father to a child that 8767 s not thiers. Personally as a single mother the only think I look for in a man is someone who can take care of their self, will eventually settle down, and someone who loves children and can handle the fact that I already have one. I don 8767 t need a daddy for my daughter, I need a man for me I consider those first before I even add my daughter to the picture.

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Hi I have been dating this guy for about 6-7 months now. We talk on the phone almost everyday and usually meet 7-8 times a week but it 8767 s mostly unplanned and at night after his work as he works full time and is very busy with work and also renovating his house during the weekends. He has taken me to his work place to meet everyone and also during the past month I have met some members of his family and he took me out to dinner with them. At times when I go over to his place he leaves his house keys with me so that I leave when I 8767 m comfortable. I have invited him a few times to come out to dinner with my friends and my sister but he has never made it because he 8767 s been busy. Problem is whenever I tell him that I love him he says thanks. I have asked him wether he loves me or not and he said he likes me a lot but he 8767 s been through a lot of heart breaks in the past and would rather take his time to get to know me and say it whenever he feels secure and comfortable. I 8767 m not sure if he just likes the benefits of casual dating or wants to be serious. Should I give him more time?

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He said he wants us to remain best friends until he 8767 s 8775 right 8776 in himself so he can love me like he should. But I know that will mean everything stays the same and he gets the connection and keeps his best friend without having to commit to actually seeing me on a regular basis. And if that 8767 s the problem, that he doesn 8767 t actually want to be with me, then that hurts. And maybe this is the first time I have actually understood that. I have been busy chasing his validation and his words instead of taking notice of his actions (or non actions). As much as he clearly has a problem with intimacy because he wants me desperately sometimes and then shuts me out other times, I really believe I have trained him to be that way with me. I have forgiven him a hundred times when he hasn 8767 t followed through, so he knows I 8767 ll accept crumbs. And now that I have said no contact, I am in so much pain that I can feel myself wanting that fix of a phone call, some validation, to hear him say that he loves me. But I am resisting. I know that fix just puts me back into the addiction and more long term pain.

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Hi Goddess,
It 8767 s really great that there 8767 s someone like you guiding all the lost souls in understanding more about love! Unfortunately, I 8767 m one of them too. I just met a guy in a short course in school and after a few sessions, I started to notice him and find him really friendly and nice. The course just ended and I really want to find the chance to talk to him. I think I 8767 m quite a direct person and have even texted him asking about school work (we only have one course in common but we 8767 re in different classes). I guess that was the only trick I know. Is it too weird that I start texting him? And what can I talk to him about? I don 8767 t want to sound too desperate and for him to start feeling awkward and shun me. How much is too much text? Like you said, guys like to do the hunting and chasing but in many instances, I find myself doing that and nothing good has come out of it. I like to tell the other person my feelings cause I can 8767 t stand having my feelings bottled up. I really want this to work out. What can I do? Please help!

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To clarify - we women aren’t going through our lives thinking, “Poor me, I’m so afraid of men!” Or, “all men are murderers and rapists,” either. It’s just a fact of life that is so absolutely ingrained in us from Day One that it becomes a subconscious part of our DNA. So please, try to remember things beyond your own paradigm. We will do the same for you. ? (At least the “nice, good” and worthwhile of we women will).

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Mostly he is just spending it getting back in shape, building his career back up and focusing on his kids. All great things that I support of course. But through all this he says he wants me in his life as his girlfriend but he won 8767 t be able to put everything in that he normally would. I 8767 m fine with it for sure because he is a great man but I don 8767 t want to stick around investing myself emotionally only to get hurt in the end.

well, it all started in year 8 at school we were reading the book 8775 coram boy 8776 however this was the adapted play version if you have read the book this will be easy to follow okay so i got to be Mellisa Milcote, and then this boy got the part as Alexandar Ashbrook and yes the 7 characters like eachother and they had a baby, however The boy now keeps going around school saying 8775 i had it with you 8776 and wherever i see him thats all he ever says. and now he stares at me constanly in English and i get the feeling that he is kinda stalking me okay so now im nearly finished year 9 and he still goes on and on about it and then to make things worse we read another book when mine and his character had it and yes he said those things again but i dont know why he is doing this? and now he is paying attention to what colour my hair is or how much mascara i use So does he like me or does he not. thanks

Hi Karen,
It doesn 8767 t sound like this guy is doing anything wrong. Those accounts may not be active, and he isn 8767 t answering 8775 chats 8776 from people he doesn 8767 t know. Instead of all this
playing around with your girlfriends and fake accounts, why didn 8767 t you just ask him about it? You 8767 ve been sucked in by your Drama Queen and she 8767 s running the show. If YOU
really care about this guy it 8767 s up to you to respect him and ask him nicely about it. NICELY. Does this make sense? Love, Goddess

No Mary, you are very much an outlier. If most single mothers were like you, you would not see the disastrous outcomes for their children. One of my closest friends is a single mother. 95 years old and an ICU nurse with a close family. Her child has never spent a single second in a daycare facility. Most single mothers are poor, stupid and do not care about their children. If they were all like you, there would be no issues.

A single mom is even worse than a divorced mom. For one, she’s really really bad at making life decisions. Think about it: she got knocked up out of wedlock. In today’s day and age, what rock are you living under that you don’t know how to avoid getting pregnant? You’re not a hero. You’re an idiot. And you’re thinking only of yourself and not your children who are going to do worse in every conceivable measure than children from intact homes.

TG99, single parents of either sex who are open to dating and especially 8775 sexual 8776 are HUGE RED FLAGS. Here 8767 s why. A person who 8767 s children are still dependent on the should be giving every moment outside of their job to their children. They should not be dividing their time, energy, focus, money and emotions amongst several people. Everything should be poured into their dependent children. It is child neglect not to do so. A single parent who openly expresses a 8775 sexual 8776 nature is shameful. Masturbation can quickly take care of those needs.

As a guy who''s more successful in online dating than most men I just wanted to share my experience. I know, I''m technically adding to the very problem I''m complaining about by dating and sleeping with women I''m not attracted to. But, can you blame me if that''s usually all I can get online? Meet us halfway, you might find a guy who is amazing and will treat you with love and respect. There is a clear divide in what men and women can attain in terms of physical attractiveness online.

Seriously, what you describe is the story of so many of the lives of my own peers. BTW, I must challenge your contention that your generation of the early 85s was the FIRST latchkey generation. I came of age a decade earlier and easily more than half of my peers were the products of either divorced parents or parents in which both parents worked full time. I will grant, however, that your generation probably was the first in which a clear majority of you fell into that category. Sad and sobering at the same time.

On Richard''s comment to guys about looking at other guys profiles, that only works to a certain extent or based on luck too. It''s more about seeing other profile examples to see what might work or not work for you. But one would never know how well the other guys profiles are unless you happen to be or become friends with them to find out. So in the end you try out things and see how it goes in that regards to seeing other guys profiles.

Learner, I can relate to your anxiety. If I had to see the exMM I would also be reaching for the meds, but I think Runnergirl has a good point and this could be the perfect opportunity for you. As Fearless says knock the creep off the pedestal, concentrate on what a wonderful, strong, capable woman you are and know that you deserve so much more. Even if you don’t feel it be cool, calm and collected. Few things are as devastating as indifference (and he won’t be expecting it). It will build your reserves and you will come out stronger. I’m sending you lots of support and will be thinking of you going into week 7 of NC. Keep strong and hugs to you.

My motto is: Never message a girl who you would not approach in public. I know my boundaries and I''d never even go near a supermodel-ish girl in public, so why try it online? I think that''s one of the biggest mistakes that guys make. They''re always trying to pursue outside of their league. I''d like to say that by keeping your expectations realistic, you''ll have better success. But I''m not even sure if that''s accurate anymore.

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