Posted: 2017-09-12 01:04
No, the entire concept that I have to change myself to please some members of the opposite sex at my age makes me puke. I thought we got through these issues when we were, oh, in our twenties. I am feminine: I will not change or alter or 8775 celebrate 8776 my perceived femininity to 8775 please 8776 someone else or change my personality tp gain approval or earn a sexual image award frpm a dating coach. Honestly.
For a large society to function social stratification must be present. When a population expands beyond a relatively small number it is impossible for everyone to have an equal voice as the time and energy requirements would preclude the accomplishment of the necessary workloads. To skirt this issue society requires managerial positions and base labor or worker positions. Just as managers help organize workers the governing of society requires the same type of organization.
I put a lot of thought on these and have concluded:
6. I must be sending the wrong message. I don 8767 t follow rules or have an agenda when I 8767 m dating. I always go on dates with an open mind, willing to go on 7nd and 8rd date to know someone better. I text to thank for the encounter and call to invite for a second date if an event comes up. I always offer to share the bill (they never let me) and I dress appropriately for my age. If I like a man I 8767 m very straight forward and tell him so, 8775 I have a good time, you are a grat guy, let 8767 s do this again. 8776
I 8767 m open about what I want and I 8767 m aware it takes time to get to know someone and fall in love.
7. Miami man don 8767 t want to grow up.
Unfortunately, the reality is nowhere near that fantasy. To get some insight into what women go through on these dating websites, I pulled aside one of my family members who I knew had spent some time on these sites looking for her future spouse. By the time of this interview, she had already given up and moved on, finally discovering her future husband while visiting old friends at her alma mater. Her responses completely surprised me.
Im 79 and she is 89, Her biggest concern is the age and the physical aspect of her being older than me, My biggest concern is if I can man up to be the guy she needs into the future, I am just starting my career and finding my feet in life. I just dont know if I can be the Adult she needs yet. I also want kids so does she, but we will have to be trying in the next few years, where it was something I only wanted to do later in my 85s. Im also concerned that her being older will affect us because although I dont care about it, I know her getting older bothers her and even at 89 she looks like she is in here late 75s, but she is always going on about changing herself when she ages.
Online dating is very unhealthy for society. Most of my buddies try online dating and the only ones who get dates are the guys who are smooth talkers and then will literally have sex in a bar bathroom with a new girl they just met while they already have a girlfriend. The nice guys get overlooked ALWAYS. Even if the nice guy looks half decent. Girls end up thinking every guy wants them inflating their ego to an unrealistic level. And ultimately they gravitate to a smooth talker who is out of their league for long term dating then they feel there are no good men. Good Men SHOULD NOT date online or they will feel unwanted and ultimately need mental help. Women should not date online because they will set they can''t differentiate between good guys and bad players. There is some success but it seems far to much work for a man to get success.
Also I can attest to the fact that I currently hold an account on okcupid. I am currently looking for a partner. I have also chosen to abstain from competition regarding wealth and power and instead am attempting to find a place on the fringes of society where I can be myself without harming others. I own very little, earn very little, and struggle to find women willing to get to know someone in my societal position as a potential partner.
My favorite moment is when they stop messaging in the middle of conversation. You try again and again but there is no response although she''s online, like she had a heart attack suddenly. Another one is when they don''t show up. First date and without any warning just no show. Then no response of course. Love those moments especially when they call men creeps. After several contacts like this in the row, men can start acting creepy, I guess. They learn very quickly to not give any respect to women because they are not going to get it back even when everything is going very well.
Well, I''m not there yet but I get pissed sometimes, it''s nothing like in real life.
Asking women to give you a chance and message you back after looking at your message and profile is like women asking you to message and reach out whenyou have zero attraction, nothing in common and zero interest in taking to. It goes both ways. Just because you''re intrested and they aren''t doesn''t mean they want bad boys and smooth talkers. Men you don''t reach out to women you''re not attracted to, don''t except women to make the exceptions lol. Dumb.
For someone to truly connect with another person and feel completely content with another they must first know and accept themselves. In my forty plus years in America I believe that to be a rarity. I have known people of all ages including countless couples who seem to have a better grasp on celebrities lives than they do on their own. I can count perhaps a handful of people I''ve met who have formed their own systems of belief. The vast majority have simply accepted whatever belief system they were fed without question.
Also, I think any girl that is reasonably good looking and serious about finding someone won''t be a on a dating site very long - either it will prove too much for them and they''ll quit or they''ll find someone quickly. I''m always wary of the good looking girls that hang out on these sites long term. If you read their profiles they''ll normally have a laundry list of "must haves" that just screams high maintenance OR they won''t bother with any content at all and let their photos do all the work. These girls have let the massive amount of choice they get from online dating go to their head and most seem obsessed with finding the perfect guy. It wouldn''t surprise me if they end up getting used a lot by guys telling them everything they want to hear and then dumping them once they get them into bed. Funnily enough it doesn''t seem to occur to them that maybe they are looking for the wrong things.
Lastly for some people even if you get prospective buyers to look beyond your pictures, and look at your profile or message you, you may just not be a good writer and that can SUUUUCCCKKK in on-line dating. SO my advice is get some help writing your profile and somewhere in the profile or in your messages say something along the lines of, "I''ve never been good are writing what I want to say I much better person to person". And get to the date as soon as possible. NEVER write, "I don''t know what to say/put here." Never.
i am 77 and she is 98. we are clearly know what we want and everything is good to me. we love each other and care for each other a lot , we both have good jobs , etccc something bothers me sometimes , we don 8767 t make love too much because she is tired sometimes or i don 8767 t feel like she wants to make love. also i feel like she is shy too. what is the best thing to do in this situation ?
After being married after 76 years, I 8767 ve known my wif for over 85 years. Raised 7 daughters and after my kids got married my wife claims that we are emotionally disconnected. I work alot plus 6 hour drive times as well as alot of work to be done around our homestead. She is leaving me to go back to Milwaukee where our oldest daughter is with her hubby and child. After she leaves me I have no intrest in marriage again after this. I 8767 m more interested in having fun. Taking dancing lessons, doing my hobbies. And perhaps finding a woman who would enjoy partaking in such activites. Nothing serious but just dancing, watching movies,TV. Gardening taking care of chickens, shooting guns, hunting, fishing and such. Plus what she may enjoy doing.
But I could never get married again or at least that 8767 s how I feel now.
The fact is most women don''t look at online dating like a bar scene, at least not at first. They somehow think the site is brimming with their fantasy guy who is just waiting for them. Or that they can weed out all the bad apples and find Mr Right. They get a little disappointed when reality hits. Much like how so many men think online sites have hundreds of beautiful women just waiting for men to save them from lonliness.
Sorry but nope. The pretty girls on the site usually made the account for kicks and don''t really care about your message because they could easily walk out their door and have someone hit on them.
Well, there is a tendency for people to say 8775 all women are like this 8776 or 8775 all men are like that 8776 . Clearly this is not the case as you have described six very different types of women. I am sure there is a similiar list of men. The problem I have is that most of the stuff I read focuses on the negative aspects of people and dating. It has kind of become everyone 8767 s cool-aid of choice. We need to stop bashing each other and get back in touch with what caused attraction before the baggage built up. Sure, hormones were a big part of it but being a jerk could kill that pretty quickly. Be your most attractive self (live a healthy lifestyle without being a complete narcissist about it) and don 8767 t be a jerk (typically associated with some form of narcissism). Expect that people can be quite different in terms of ambition, lifestyle, and the way they made decisions throughout their lives to bring them to the point they are now. Figure out which one of these beasties you are and go find another one that is similiar.
Hi Katy. I 8767 m sorry to say but you are describing a lot of men and women. We can all make judgments based on the dumbest things. In fact, I just finished my Fix Your Man Picker course that teaches women how to attract and choose men who will truly make them happy.
So don 8767 t be down on men. Not ALL do this. Also, there are things you can do that will help you a ton. You can help men get to know in an authentic, fun and meaningful way starting on the first date. Check out this month 8767 s free webinar: Strong Femininity: How to Turn on the Man Who Turns You On. You can get it here for free. Let me know what you think! Bp
I 8767 m 99 and my fiancé is 85. year age difference. We have a lot in common and are the best of friends, and love each other deeply. At age 98 I got pregnant by accident and lost the baby. He wanted to try again but so far we haven 8767 t been successful. I feel bad about that and wish I could give him a child. We are getting married in 5 months and our families are really happy for us. Everyone says they can 8767 t tell the age difference by looking at us lol. I take good care of myself.
I never thought I would have sex again as I was approaching year three of not dating anyone and then I spent a nice weekend with a guy I 8767 ve known for a years who is 77-78 and I am 99. I had such a nice time and he is so laid back and cool, but I find myself now wanting it to just go away. Thankfully I live almost four hours south of him so it won 8767 t be easy to get together. I really do not think he knows how old I am (always told I can pass for late 85 8767 s, early 95 8767 s).
Hi Bobbi, this is the first time reading your blog and I really enjoyed this post about dating after 95. I totally identified with the Wow Me Woman (!) I 8767 m in my late 95 8767 s, single, never been married. And I have always looked for that guy who will give me butterflies. I found him twice in my life but they never worked or lasted. Recently, I met a guy, in his mid 55 8767 s, and we 8767 ve been dating for about 6 weeks now, and he gives me those butterflies that I long for. He 8767 s great in many aspects and I try to tell him on a regular basis what I like about him and that I appreciate him for what he is. I think as I 8767 ve gotten older, I 8767 m less afraid of expressing my true feelings to a guy. I figure, what the heck? if he can 8767 t handle it at 55yo then he 8767 s not the one for me. Thanks for your writings and I 8767 m looking forward to reading more.