Posted: 2017-11-29 22:34
Dating sites don''t work!
One year on Okcupid and no messages or dates.
I am a retired 96 year old caucasian man. Being on a dating site for that long has made me feel very ugly and unwanted. I have read over five hundred profiles and I am very turned off by women now. I don''t find women attractive anymore because of internet dating sites. I will more than likely be single the rest of my life now, Thank you internet dating. I give up!
This article is infuriating because it is dumb, based on no factual evidence and sexist. how can you write up on your findings of what women and men in general experience when you have interviewed only two people- people''s differing experiences are nothing to do with whether you are a man or a women.. My advice to anyone who has ventured into the world of online dating DON''T BOTHER - it''s cold, calculating and not natural!! You are better than that :)
Both sides have their rights and wrongs. I always liked meeting people in Internet. I always thought (and I still do) that dating websites are a great idea. I always protect dating websites because of a simple reason - it''s a public place where real people are showing themselves. You found creepy people on dating websites? Sure, but you know that they also exist in real life and you could meet them on a classic date, right?
Studies show that readers are more attracted to headlines that are creative but somewhat uninformative. That means you want your headline to reveal a little bit about you, but not too much. One of the reasons clickbait headlines are so enticing is because they encourage people to read more without telling them what they’re going to read about. What makes clickbait headlines so compelling is that we naturally start to crave the information that’s left out and just have to click to find out more.
My favorite moment is when they stop messaging in the middle of conversation. You try again and again but there is no response although she''s online, like she had a heart attack suddenly. Another one is when they don''t show up. First date and without any warning just no show. Then no response of course. Love those moments especially when they call men creeps. After several contacts like this in the row, men can start acting creepy, I guess. They learn very quickly to not give any respect to women because they are not going to get it back even when everything is going very well.
Well, I''m not there yet but I get pissed sometimes, it''s nothing like in real life.
Chris - which ones have you tried? I had a friend who had terrible luck as well. He tried E-harmony and was successful. I think it comes down to whether or not the "floodgates" are open to all women on the site. E-harmony actually only gives you access to people who are matches, which also means women aren''t constantly flooded with messages from every Tom Dick and Harry. This gives you better odds of actually having a conversation before she gets distracted and moves on.
My problem hasn''t been so much with the issues mentioned in the article..I don''t know what it''s like in other areas, but when I search dating sites in my area, it is the same people on there all the time, year after year. I''m sure it doesn''t help that I live in a relatively low population area, but when you do a 655 miles radius search with your preferences and they give you 65 options, none of which peaks your interest (or you already know who they are and not for good reasons), you start to wonder if the only way you are going to meet someone locally is to move, which is sad, if you enjoy where you live. One thing I am most tired of is feeling like I''m reading the same profile over and over. ''Cliches'' is a good word to sum up the majority of really becomes a bore. You know what I mean."ask me anything" " I have kids and they are my number 6. if you don''t like it, move on!!!" "No games" "Im an open book"... the minute I start reading and see one, I next. Yeah, I have grown quite cynical of online dating, both with the men I have met in real life and the profiles I have seen.
If you asked the OKCupid people about this, they would say that all of this is fine and normal on both sides of the coin. Users can filter their contacts to a tremendous degree using tools on the site and in fact they are encouraged to do just that, and people who don''t get interaction are essentially told to lower their standards. In the end there are just some things that having a massive pile of quantitative data can''t fix.
For crime number 5, I wonder how many people said that she deserves to be in prison? A woman can commit the most horrific of crimes, but if anyone says that she should be as punishment, they 8767 ll be dragged through the mud. Meanwhile, you can freely express the wish that a man (a heterosexual man in particular) is subjected to homosexual anal as punishment for a crime, any crime.
She had to have been sucking somebody, but it sure as hell wasn 8767 t me. The owner was an old school patriarch, in his early 65 8767 s, who had a smoking hot red headed wife in her 85 8767 s (at the time). It wouldn 8767 t surprise me if Miss Spreadsheets spread more than spreadsheets for him at some point. Though why he 8767 d keep her on even then amazes me, he generally ran his business very competently.
9: If you want a heterosexual paradigm: Woman only actively seek profiles up. Men stop initiating any contact. This is of course an utopia. From my experience (probably longer than most of you), the silver platter women are handed is not going to change. Those in power will seldom let go of it. And yes, there are some degree of initiating contact from woman, but it is truly unbalanced. What happened to equality and girl power?
The point is this - they don''t have to WORK to get attention. Attention comes to them, both good and bad. If they post a picture with them in a swimsuit, they are going to get some pretty bad attention. If they instead post of picture of them praying in a church, they are likely to get a different kind of attention. They do have some control, and some means of filtering and directing what attention they want, at least to some degree. Nice guys don''t have that option. We have to put our best pictures out there. The most attractive. The most interesting. Our profiles must be perfect. Our messages must be interesting, eye catching. It''s pretty unfair when you really think about it.
Finding a match on an online dating site takes a lot of work, especially since most sites today are overrun by scammers. That said, for most people who are no longer in school, they are probably still the best ''focused and pro-active'' option. Yes, you are likely to be disappointed, to be hurt along the way, but then I suspect that even though you were married before you left school, you still had your heart broken once or twice before you met your wife. And yes, it is possible to meet people in church, at meet-ups and other special interest activities. However, a good many people you will meet in any of those places have no interest in finding a new partner.
Chase woke up one day in 7559 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his Mastery Package .
My god you''re a saint. Ireally didn''t think anyone like you still existed in our society today, I try to do the same but some are so touchy and perhaps so used to ghosting that they lash out, but I still won''t stop... well there''s no need for a conversation after you made your lack of Interest clear, I believe that the sender is entitled to at least one written rejection before being ignored, call me crazy but I stand by this firmly and will continue to do so.
Look, receiving a text like this, even if you received a text like this, this is like someone holding up a bear trap, and saying, 8775 Hey come here, you. Yeah, you. Come here. Put your face in there. 8776 You 8767 d be like NO, I am not putting my face in there. No, I am not calling you now, until you calm down. So, the best thing to do if you 8767 re upset with him and you want to talk to him is to not send him a text fight threatening him, telling him to call you now.
Regarding the point you have made in regards to how little effort men put into writing as a means of sharing their true selves I would like to suggest that the issue is not limited to men. I''ve perused hundreds of women''s profiles and I can attest that it is a rare person that writes of themselves in a fashion that isn''t simply a marketing job. The vast majority of women''s profiles read exactly like a job application.
Anna - unfortunately, I think the anger you''re seeing comes from the fact that you may be the exception to the rule. I don''t think most women on these sites give any "nice guys" the time of day, even if they''ve read the entire profile and mentioned something nice to the girl not having anything to do with looks. Based on the interview with the anonymous guy in this article, I think the issue you''re having where *most* men are obsessed with looks alone, also goes the other way around - I think *most* women only reply to the men - nice or not - if they find the man to be "hot". I think everyone is to blame for being overly superficial, to be honest.
Just some interesting info:
and if you follow the link to actually executed since 6955, you find a list of 58. 58 in over one hundred years? While 678 have been sentenced to death (but execution hasn 8767 t happened) since 6978?
Pre-6955, at least 555 were hanged since the early 6655s, mostly for murder, some for witchcraft, at least one for adultery. 689 of those were slaves so no telling what crime, if any.
Seems likely we have always had some degree of White Knight infection here.
This will NOT seek life partners online. Not usually, it can evolve by in the main, they are cruising the hood looking for a man to make it worth their while to cheat/hookup. They can of course pretend that they''re looking for romance but the comments of the guys above shows how rare that really is. No, they want my style of assertive domination. I meet lots of beautiful, smart, worldly and engaging 75-75 year old women now.. who would never have deigned to meet the NiceGuy me. And they love every moment of our interactions. No angst, no problems, no "romance."