Posted: 2017-11-15 08:25
I have been in your situation, and I understand. I have not spent as much as you but have gone two years without a reply, a match, a wink, a flirt..it hurts, and it is damaging to the ego. My suggestion? You need to turn your back from it for a bit. Close your account. State your reasons calmly and professionally. In prayer, in service, in your walk with Christ you need to figure out the 8775 why 8776 this happened. It may not be easy. There may be no 8775 answer 8776 right away. I will say that despite how 8775 Christian 8776 these dating sites may 8775 claim 8776 to be, few are, and fewer are Christian in action and deed..but in 8775 word 8776 only. You have to let this go for a spell. It is not helping you be a 8775 potential 8776 date at this point! I am not belittling your situation, because I have been in it myself, and I am still single. Does this help at all?
So we are left with a very complicated answer to what seems like a reasonably simple question. Unfortunately we are dealing with complex systems based upon an unequal distribution of wealth, power and knowledge. My explanation is quite limited in its scope but explains the answer as I see it. Unfortunately the answer I've given also infers similar issues with offline dating as ultimately this has little to do with the internet and more to do with society.
You are not the top 65% of women. You've deluded yourself into getting it the opposite way around. The truth is that 95% of men target 95% of women - that's why a 69 year old, who should be way out of your league as a woman way past her prime , will still contact you and not just focus on the more attractive girls his own age. Meanwhile, 95% of women really do target only 65% of men. You are looking for nothing but hot, single men in their thirties, and so is every other woman on the website. Goes to show what primadonnas women on dating sites are when you can get it all this wrong.
Thank you so much. This is fantastic. As a single woman in my twenties sexual desire is something that I have wrestled with and I have always felt guilty for having, even though I have never acted on those desires. I know that acting on that desire is sin, but I never understood how to have more control over that desire so that I do not fall into temptation. Jesus being the answer makes so much sense. Looking back I realize that the times when I was closest to him were times when I did not struggle with these desires, but when I stray, these desires tend to come creeping back.
So, are you all the same guys or not? Do you really look at a woman and can tell at a glance 8775 yes, i 8767 d like to have her 8776 or 8775 she 8767 s nice but nothing more 8776 . Or can it evolve well, I could easily call it can 8767 t.
Can a broken-hearted-middle-aged workaholic be 8775 seduced 8776 the way an average man can?
I should only believe he 8767 d never met a woman like me before, ha! He certainly hadn 8767 t 🙂
WOW, powerful words! Thank you for sharing your comments. You bring a depth of perspective to this topic that is not often considered among Christians or even recognized. So often we focus on the branch we 8767 re perched on ourselves and our situation instead of looking at the bigger picture, the trunk of the tree. That 8767 s not to in any way minimize the difficulties of being single. I 8767 ve been both married and single. Now I 8767 m married again. I 8767 m researching how to deal with the problem of sex outside of marriage for a faith-based fiction book I 8767 m working on. Your comments have given a sure foundation to the topic. Thanks again. God speed.
Rebecca, dear, you may be one of the lucky ones who do go on to marry in a few years from now and point to it as evidence as your 8775 reward 8776 for being a good obedient Christian girl who 8775 trusted the Lord 8776 with all her heart. But don 8767 t be so smug because you just might still be single at my age or later and look back with regret for your condescending us singles (especially older) for thinking we have the right to want our God given desires to be fulfilled.
I am currently on Tinder, and have been for about a month. All of the messages I have received from men have been respectful so far. I'm not sure why, but I'm guessing it has something to do with how I wrote my profile, as well as the pictures I chose to show. My profile is pretty straight forward, without being bitchy. My pictures are tasteful, and there are also some that show I am pretty jacked. I swear that after I have become more buff, men have gotten a ton more respectful. Ridiculous, but true. And no, I don't think I'm special because I'm fit, it is just a physicality.
Of course I was kicking myself afterwards, but it felt inevitable. It 8767 s happened to me before. I very rarely am able to feel anything for a guy despite quite a few good-looking, successful dudes asking me out and even holding a candle for me for years, I 8767 ve never seen the point in dating unless I feel a 8766 spark 8767 so when I do have those feelings (on average once in five years 😐 yes I 8767 m still in my twenties but still) I inevitably also feel a lot of pressure to get it right . and completely stuff it up even if he starts out extremely into me. My vibe goes off. As my feelings grow and the stakes get higher, especially if we 8767 re having so much fun that I don 8767 t want to lose the feeling, the more nervous I get and the more nervous I get, the more I also end up acting competitive with the guy rather than just being my feminine self. And eventually, he just loses the attraction.
My husband and I met through a work thing. He never had rules for me and I never had any for him. From the beginning to now. We simply respect one another and always have each other 8767 s best interest at heart. If your boyfriend has 8766 rules 8767 you need to get away from him as fast as you can. If his family doesn 8767 t accept you then move on. Otherwise you 8767 re only setting yourself up for hurt and disappointment. There are plenty of people out there, dedicate yourself to one who meshes more with your lifestyle.
In comparison to the work nice guys have to do, women (particularly average to good looking women) absolutely do appear to have all the advantages. Average nice guys are competing for attention from the creeps, the jerks, the ugly guys, the good looking guys, the hookup bad boys, even other women. All the cards are stacked against us. It's like a message in a bottle or winning the lottery to catch them at just the right time at just the right moment to get a response.
they just aren 8767 t worth it. all that turmoil for what?
momma 8767 s boys and double standards about woman. retarded if you ask me and most people now are coming to that conclusion about them as well
.useless people! backwards culture
nothing you want can ever grow from it
they believe sick things. how can you deal with that? respect yourself and stay away from them. they are starting to know what they are as well compared to us. and they are getting worse instead of evolving.
its like a disease they have
So. What about a guy who is single for long long time now, choosing to be alone and sacrifice himself to his job entirely after being dumped by his wife short after being married. And this is not any fresh history, this was like 75 years ago. He 8767 s about 95 now. I 8767 m 65y And yes, i 8767 ve got some experience too, nearly 67 years of very strange marriage. I mean been there, done that Thought I knew sth about men, but this guy? This guy is a complete mistery for me. I know women adore him in general and he could have anyone he 8767 d like (and he 8767 s aware of that i think) but there 8767 s only him and his job instead. Not giving a chance to anyone. Not giving a chance to himself. Probably he accepted his fate? And probably the fact that he 8767 s so 8775 ungettable 8776 makes him so desirable. OK. Understood. Noone knows what 8767 s on his mind. I can only hope that he does.
Sex and orgasm play an important role in a woman 8767 s overall health as well. If a woman does not orgasm at least occasionally, the muscles of the female reproductive system atrophy. It can also seriously affect the endocrine system (particularly ovaries and production of estrogen and progesterone). Without sex, a woman is likely to experience uterine atrophy, hormone imbalance, and the effects of hormone imbalance, such as weight gain, depression and anxiety, changes in appetite and metabolism, barrenness, drastic changes in menstrual cycle, ovarian cysts the list is pretty long when it comes to endocrine system deficiencies.
If you work around single women, there is no question that conversation will come up. It’s up to you on how you decide to speak with her. You can choose to keep it short and general, you can choose to keep it professional or you can choose to keep it off of those and allow it go places it shouldn’t. Be polite, but very intentional in your conversations. If needed, again, always be ready to bring up something about your wife or family. Pull the pin, aim and distinguish. Safety first. (More Here: Romans 6:68 ESV)
My advice to Eric is to get back on line. He will eventually find maybe not the "perfect girl" but a girl he can live with. And that's another thing. We all form in our mind the picture of the "perfect mate" - the right mix of intelligence, beauty, oersonality and income. Then we measure all prospects against that ideal and, unsurprisingly, all candidates fail the comparison. Life is a series of compromises. As the 6975s song said "If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with."
If I have just described you, you may have a painful road ahead of you, but our God is a great deliverer. The grace of God displayed in the shed blood of Christ on Calvary is more than sufficient not only to forgive you of past sins but to fit you for offering the comfort you have received to others, whether you eventually marry or not. If you have failed or are failing in this area, then remember your calling and resolve to stop now and prepare yourself for marriage. Guard your eyes and heart and body.
For now, step back and take some time for yourself. I strongly believe he 8767 s terribly confused, feels pulled in two different directions, and is living with a lot of guilt. He 8767 s not going to make the right decision right now regardless of what it is. Just as you 8767 re hurting, he is too. I seriously doubt he wants to hurt you and that 8767 s adding to his guilt. Then, of course, he doesn 8767 t want to hurt his mother or family either. That only makes his situation worse. He feels as though he has no control and the only person he can stand up against is you. Therefore, all the anger and resentment he 8767 s feeling, he 8767 s taking it out on you.
On the other hand, having a 8766 girlfriend 8767 or being a girlfriend can still be somewhat frowned upon among many. Especially in the bedu community where dating before marriage is often unacceptable for men, and almost always for women. But, the fact this guy is sharing your photos with his friends back home is a sign that he doesn 8767 t have a lot of respect for you. It 8767 s as if he 8767 s saying, 8775 Look what I 8767 ve been doing 8776 . A man who respects a woman (from any culture) isn 8767 t going to send her pictures around for other men to stare at. Especially in a culture where men and women are still largely segregated.
I have no desire to go to church but I often make myself go because I feel guilty if I don 8767 t. I want to want to serve in church and be happy doing so but I already feel like it 8767 s only going to be one more thing that I force myself to do out of guilt and obedience, not really out of joy. And you can 8767 t feel all of that without big helpings of GUILT for not feeling fired up. I 8767 m almost 89, single, lonely to the point of insanity, and I can assure you, no amount of Bible reading, church activities, evangelism is going to fill the loneliness that is only fulfilled by having someone physically, to share your life with. Adding insult to injury is that I have pretty much no female friends to spend time with and my family has very little time for me since they are all married with children, living the kind of life I want to be.