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Posted: 2017-11-15 05:25

By the time you see a supernatural clown, you’ve got to assume that it’s already seen you more than once and is only choosing to make itself visible to you now because it’s planning your imminent death. This might at first sound terrifying, but the most important thing to bear in mind about is that fear is the clown’s greatest weapon. The more level headed you are in dealing with these things, the better chance you’ve got at properly fending it off.

How To Survive a Killer Clown Attack - io9

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For all its grandstanding and shocking headline grabs, in the end Secret Empire was little more than your typical big superhero event: good guys fighting bad versions of themselves instead of each other, for once, but still a story that superhero comics have told a thousand times before. The lackluster reveal tells readers that the “absolutely-totally-real” version of Captain America Marvel has assured us we’ve been following for over a year at this point is nothing more than a Cosmic Cube-created evil clone, one who’s had the real Cap sitting in his soul all along. That convoluted mechanic speaks to the grand aimlessness of the series. Secret Empire spent too much time wallowing in the grim nature of its premise, its moments of heroism few and far between and coming much too late into the run—and that’s after Marvel extended the whole thing by an issue for good measure, only to end in an awkward rush, like butter over far too much bread.

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If you take one piece of information away from this post, let it be this: regardless of what sort of clown situation you find yourself in, you’re almost always going to be winging it. If everyone knew what to do when a horrifying vision of carnivals past showed up, we wouldn’t all be scared shitless of them. But again, that’s ok. All you need to do is keep calm, run, and think before you scream.

Report: Donald Trump Will Order Military to Begin

Most of us have gone on dates with strangers from the internet at some point. But even if you met your date IRL, it’s a good idea to give them a Google Voice number when you start chatting, Rucker says. Google Voice lets users generate phone numbers for free and use them to set up other secure chat services like WhatsApp or Signal. A user can easily turn off her Google Voice number and get a new one if her date turns out to be a creep—and she won’t have to go to the trouble of changing her real number and redistributing it to all her friends.

March 2017

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