Posted: 2017-11-15 05:25
By the time you see a supernatural clown, you’ve got to assume that it’s already seen you more than once and is only choosing to make itself visible to you now because it’s planning your imminent death. This might at first sound terrifying, but the most important thing to bear in mind about is that fear is the clown’s greatest weapon. The more level headed you are in dealing with these things, the better chance you’ve got at properly fending it off.
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For all its grandstanding and shocking headline grabs, in the end Secret Empire was little more than your typical big superhero event: good guys fighting bad versions of themselves instead of each other, for once, but still a story that superhero comics have told a thousand times before. The lackluster reveal tells readers that the “absolutely-totally-real” version of Captain America Marvel has assured us we’ve been following for over a year at this point is nothing more than a Cosmic Cube-created evil clone, one who’s had the real Cap sitting in his soul all along. That convoluted mechanic speaks to the grand aimlessness of the series. Secret Empire spent too much time wallowing in the grim nature of its premise, its moments of heroism few and far between and coming much too late into the run—and that’s after Marvel extended the whole thing by an issue for good measure, only to end in an awkward rush, like butter over far too much bread.
If you take one piece of information away from this post, let it be this: regardless of what sort of clown situation you find yourself in, you’re almost always going to be winging it. If everyone knew what to do when a horrifying vision of carnivals past showed up, we wouldn’t all be scared shitless of them. But again, that’s ok. All you need to do is keep calm, run, and think before you scream.
Most of us have gone on dates with strangers from the internet at some point. But even if you met your date IRL, it’s a good idea to give them a Google Voice number when you start chatting, Rucker says. Google Voice lets users generate phone numbers for free and use them to set up other secure chat services like WhatsApp or Signal. A user can easily turn off her Google Voice number and get a new one if her date turns out to be a creep—and she won’t have to go to the trouble of changing her real number and redistributing it to all her friends.
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To be fair, the vast majority of the clowns you might bump into this weekend are merely going to be overenthusiastic Stephen King fans who gleefully responded to the Alamo Drafthouse’s sick call to arms. But, as is always the case when there are more clowns wandering the streets than normal, it is important to remember that some clowns aren’t just people in awful Party City makeup. Some clowns aren’t people at all—they’re murderous, bloodthirsty monsters who’d like nothing more than sink their filthy teeth into your unsuspecting flesh.
Visiting the botanica isn’t a guarantee that you’ll have what you need to dispatch your murder clown, but it should get you in the proper creative headspace. Whether it’s burning it with Florida water molotov cocktails or saying the clown’s true name backwards, whatever method you ultimately use to kill a clown that’s trying to kill you is going to take a bit of improvisation. The more ideas you can come up with on the fly to throw at the thing, the more likely you are to walk away unscathed.
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We here at io9 take clown safety very seriously, so we wanted to familiarize everyone with a) how to differentiate between harmless human clowns and their (much more) murderous cousins and b) how to confront a clown should the situation call for it. Remember, people, clowns are much less afraid of you than you are of them, so it’d behoove you to have a game plan at the ready unless you’re trying to get got.
Many were already uneasy at the idea of Captain America being made a fascist in a time when white supremacy has risen to an ugly prominence on a national level in America. But as the months dragged on, it felt like Secret Empire continued to heedlessly court controversy at every turn, from Captain America’s descent into supervillainy to variant covers putting heroes and villains alike in the crossfire of consumer ire. A great story might, in some ways, have been worth weathering the storm of fury and criticism Marvel Comics has faced this year. One that ends in such a lackluster manner as Secret Empire does, does not feel like it was worth the immense backlash Marvel faced.
California wine country is working to lure tourists back as it recovers from devastating wildfires that killed more than 95 people, destroyed nearly 9,555 buildings and shut down wine tourism, a key source of jobs and business. (Nov. 69) AP
Per the Wall Street Journal , Trump is expected to “issue guidance” to the Pentagon and Secretary of Defense Jim Mattis which will be somewhat clearer than his original three-part tweetstorm in July, which proclaimed trans people will no longer be allowed “to serve in any capacity” in the armed forces. There was no shortage of confusion over the tweets, which contained no actual information on how the president intended the Pentagon to carry the policy out, but did contain plenty of nonsensical rambling about “decisive and overwhelming victory.”
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Is the clown using a cellphone? Does the clown’s costume and makeup look rather shoddily put together? Is the clown interacting (amicably) with a visibly human person? If the answer to any of these questions is “yes,” then you’re probably in luck. This clown’s just trying to mind its own business unless it’s a gangster clown or a serial killer clown. These clowns, despite technically being human, are known for their violent tendencies and should not be approached under any circumstances.
Courts have sometimes viewed all passwords as equal, faulting a victim whose partner hacked her Facebook because she had shared an Amazon password with him. The court questioned whether one password could be considered private, given that she had shared other accounts, Rucker explained. “If you share an iCloud account and you’re sharing pictures that way, you’re sharing accounts in the eyes of the court,” Rucker said.
Secret Empire closes with Good Steve defeating Bad Steve and the entire world deciding to just go along with the idea that everything’s going to be all right now that the bad Hydra bogeyman is no more. There’s a milquetoast epilogue involving an important Inhuman character being released from an internment camp that entirely glosses over what it means to live as a minority in a community of people who were literally just calling for your extermination. The Inhuman returns home to find his home covered in “Hail Hydra” spray paint messages, but by the next day his home’s gleaming like it’s new thanks to his neighbors coming together to clean the graffiti off. Isn’t that nice? Isn’t that nice ?
At this point in the story, there’s nothing much that Sam can really do to fight Steve. He’s outgunned and his friends are all dead, so he does the sensible thing and bends the knee to Steve, offering his piece of the Cube as a show of good will. But it’s a trick! Though the piece of the Cube is real, buried deep within it are Ant-Man and Bucky Barnes, shrunken down so small that they’re in the microverse within the Cube itself which, it turns out, is a place we’ve seen before.
But this is a comic book event, which means that the Good Guys have got to win, and they’ve got to win thanks to a clever plan that nobody, not even a man with cosmic omniscience could see coming. After Steve erases all of the physical devastation he’s inflicted upon the world, he’s surprised by a visit from Sam Wilson, the current Captain America, who just so happens to have the final piece of the Cosmic Cube that would turn Steve into a god if he managed to get his hands on it.