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Online Dating - Men Don''t Get It And Women Don''t Understand

Posted: 2017-10-20 03:13

This message board has taught me so much. I''ve been dating online on and off for at least 7 years. I''m 98. I''m decent looking, I thought LOL. I have a great job, house, one kid, no drama. I guess I''m cool, but a little boring? I just don''t think I know how to present myself or heck I really don''t know. I get guys that just want a piece or just wanna try dating me since they have never dated outside their race (which I don''t mind but I''d like them to like me and not the piece of *** I potentially represent). Its really crushing to the spirit. I don''t know if I will even continue online dating after reading all the perspectives here. I''m truly a busy person that doesn''t get out much to meet people and a little shy when it comes to getting to know folks. So I guess I''ll either put my big girl panties on and just go sit at a bar or give up and be alone. (sigh)

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Like it or not, men in many respects set the tone for all interactions and if we women continue to buffer, excuse, rationalize, tolerate the unacceptable then men will not roll their craptastic behavior back. It will progress. It will carry on for our daughters if it is already (I believe it may be) for the rest of us. We may be victims of a social decay and perversion infiltrating ourselves with every new gadget, technological shift, online access to dating, porn and all sorts of social connections conflating the real issue at hand. Men don’t care (by and large). When they don’t care they treat everything except themselves (but long-term themselves included) with a laissez-faire attitude. We can either choose to be mules or more.

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I became so weary of these half hearted advances and men who could not follow through, I just gave up. Why should I put out so much personal information about myself on the Internet for a bunch of really half hearted losers who were too cheap to even pay for a drink, and if they did, they felt it gave them license to grab me or shove their tongue downy throat on the first date? These men had no dating etiquette at all.

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lastly I feel left out that she has a family already. That she has 8 kids and she is only willing to give me one. There are many things me and her can 8767 t do as what a single woman would be able to do because she 8767 s focusing on the kids first (and I undestand that) in many areas. I 8767 ve been told by many who had my experience that it will be extremely hard but I felt I could handle it even my girl said it wouldn 8767 t be easy. I feel like regardless I 8767 m always second fiddle. When ever something goes down with the kids especially when the fathers are involved I 8767 m on the outside watching. Let alone the fathers when I 8767 m at the kids school with my girl their postures are very defensive like why is he here seeing my child :-(.I 8767 m starting to learn that I want to be the only man, the only father that when the kids need help I want to be first priority in the involvment of my kids WITH my I love her so much and I 8767 m going to continue to try, ask all the right questions, do all the right things and exhaust every angle damn this hurts.

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Please can you advise, my partner was divorced last April, he was the petitioner, she the respondent. However, I did not find out until recently that his ex wife had written a letter to be included with her petition response that named me as being the reason for the breakdown of the marriage which is simply not true. He and I had been friends for over 65 years and we did not get together until many months after he had left her and commenced divorce proceedings. I feel agrieved by the fact that she chose to include my name in her response and it has caused me a great deal of upset since I found out. Is there anything I can do now they are divorced as I still get upset about the fact that various solicitors and the court have seen her letter of accusation which includes my name? I would at least like to get some kind of apology for the false accusation whete do I stand?

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We spent holidays together and she told me how she looked forward to spending the new year together. Two months later we were supposed to get together on our usual Friday night date, but she said she had a friend 8767 s party to go to but would only stay for one drink. I usually worked later into the evening, so texted her when I was finishing up so we could meet, to find out after being at the party an hour and a half that she was going to stay for one more drink. I went to the bar to discover her flirting with some guy she had met. (red flag #7) I sat down, introduced myself, at which point he left. She assured me that I was her boyfriend in front of her friends.

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In all reality, the odds are FAR better to actually meet someone at a bar, as much as we say we hate it. Because at a bar, a women is forced to acknowledge you if you have the nerve to go up and talk to her. Sure, she can still dismiss you and shut you down (or worse embarrass you). But for a brief instant there is the possibility the tone of your voice, the way you smile, the joke that you tell, how you stand, how you dress, etc, might appeal to her and let you keep talking. All those intangble things that nice guys are best at which are impossible to communicate with just a picture and text. It''s pretty sad really that nobody has invented a site where you are a VERIFIED nice guy, exluded of jerks. A safe place where women can go. Women who also are VERIFIED to be looking for what they say they are.

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Mary, if he 8767 s waiting for a narcissist to admit fault for anything, you may as well wish him the best of luck, move on and keep yourself open to meeting a guy who 8767 s not frozen on the spot expecting the impossible from his crazy ex.
He needs to process this, then stay on his own a bit to get over it. If he wants to find you once that 8767 s done, he will. And if you find someone in the mean time, well, the timing was off.
I have enough drama in my life. I never like being sucked into anyone else 8767 s, especially if its someone I was dating who called a recess with me to deal with the ex. Wish him well and run like hell. You deserve more.

Dating a Separated Man whose Ex-Wife Won''t Let Go

Hi Marilyn.
my husband and i have been separated for 8 6/7 years. I asked him to leave after i discovered his numerous affairs.
we have tried to get back together since but his other women and holidays with his friends have always come before me and the children.
we have tried again recently but while he was trying with me he also had another women who is now pregnant with his child.
i have had enough now, i desperately want a divorce but he will not give me one.
he has told me i have to wait for the full 5 years.
is there anything i can do as regards to this?
he has contact with our children every other weekend unless he cancels, he speaks to them weekly yet he is threatening a custody battle which is upsetting me and the children.
He lives a very lavish life but gives me minimal support and watches me and the children struggle financially bragging that his life is so much better than ours.
i desperately need to know where i stand and any advice would be gratefully received.
Many Thanks

IT REALY AMAZING TO HEAR THAT SO MANY MEN ARE DATING OLDER WOMAN AND MINE IS NOT AN 85 AND HE IS 77 AND MOST OF THE ABOVE AGE MENTIONIS IS IN THIS RANGE. ANYWAY THIS MEN CANOT LEAVE IF HE DOES NOT SEE ME FOR ONE MAKE SURE HE WILL CALL AND CHECK ON THOUGHT THAT NO BODY LIKES ME CAUSE I FEEL I WAS UGLY AND HE IS SO HANDSOME ,HE GOES TO THE SALON FOR FACIAL HAVE NICE INDIAN HAIR AND ME I HAVE AFRICAN LOVE ME LIKE CRAZY AND HE EVEN TALKIN OF MOVING TO MY COUNTRY AND WE WILL GET MARRIED AND HE WILL BE THE FATHER OF MY 7ND THING IS HE IS ALREADY MARRIED BUT NOW HE IS PLANING TO GET A DIVORCE JUST TO BE WITH ME ,I TOLD HIM JUST DONT DO SOMETHING THAT HE WILL FEEL GUILTY TOMORROW BUT I REAL FALLIN FOR HIM AND HE MAKE ME FEEL SO GOOD. TILL NOW WE HAVE BEEN KISSIN ONLY AND I CAN WAIT TO HAVE HIM ON THE BED CAUSE HE IS FULL WITH ENERGY AND ME I HAVE LOTS OF SINCERLY HOPE THAT THING WORK OUT FOR THE BEST.

Hi All,
I have been dating a guy who is 65 years than myself. I am 89 and he is 69. At first this was experimental and supposed to be casual, now it appears that we are spending lots of time together and our feelings are growing mutually. We always have such a great time together but my concern is that he lives at home with his mom and she is strict with him. He can 8767 t stay out the night or even when we do go out she is calling him and telling him to be home at a decent hour. He can 8767 t really go out late during the week or stay out late on weekends. He is going to be 75 in august. Is this normal?

I also ignore or block creepy messages for which I get a lot. If you''re okay looking and you message me about something we''re both interested in I will reply. If I replied to every single message, even the ones I wasn''t attracted to, I would have to be talking to at least 65 different guys every day. And they would probably continue talking to me for a week at least. That''s around 655 different people I would have to talk to by the end of my first week. Almost all of those guys will probably be ones I''m not interested in so why would I bother? It will be a waste of time for both of us.

The short answer is everyone 8767 s tolerance level is different for how long they should wait. Ask yourself:
what is it that you ultimately want in the long run?
What is it costing you the fact that he is still going through a divorce?
what needs are not getting met during this time?
how long are you willing to delay having your needs met while he goes through a divorce?
Where is your line in the sand?
In what situations would you be unwilling to wait any longer?
These are very personal questions that only you can answer.

It seems like there is a lot of negativity but online dating is much better. I meet far many more men from completely different backgrounds and industries than I would if I stuck to randomly meeting people by luck. A lot of it has to do with your ability to handle rejection. Performers may audition for 68 jobs before they get a job. It''s not personal especially in the first "online" message round. You just have to believe in yourself and stick with it. It''s not easy for men or women but it is possible.

There''s another guy on here who''s bragging about getting laid by women he barely knows. It''s following a shallow lifestyle to be after people "who attract you". There are more important things in life than the outward appearance. A person''s character traits are important. Honesty, respect, love, loyalty, dependable, reliable are all decent traits to have. Being with a woman for a long time says that you have been dependable and loyal. I''m sorry that happened to you.

I am an attractive 98 year old women dating the nicest 87 year old guy. We met at a party and he started to ask me out right away, I told him my age and he quickly responded that his last girlfriend was 96 and I seemed in many ways. We spent the next 65 hours in conversation (no one ever holds my interest for very long) and had a great time. We exchange numbers but I never planned for it to go past that point. Yes he called, yes I turned him down and yes he called again. We did get together after all and to both our delite we found we had most everything in common. We have been seeing each other for a little over 7 months.

I 8767 m 68 yrs old i met a women who 85 yrs old in Online , firstly we became just friends and now we became lovers. she is a lawyer and she didn 8767 t marry till now , I LOVE HER SO MUCH and she to love me a lot , my family will not agree to this and she advise me that after my Graduation i can move to her , and marry her . But i think a lot about this and to to decide. and i want to know is this will success. I hope that we will live together with great happiness , but i have still fear in my heart, to do all this i need a good advise for good life
please help

I think that a large part of the problem with online dating is how we view ourselves and others. The vast majority of profiles I''ve seen read like job applications. It seems as if a healthy smattering of keywords is all that is required to share who we are as individuals. The majority of profiles are as similar as mainstream medias concept of beauty. In the end there isn''t much to differentiate one profile from another.

Unfortunately, the reality is nowhere near that fantasy. To get some insight into what women go through on these dating websites, I pulled aside one of my family members who I knew had spent some time on these sites looking for her future spouse. By the time of this interview, she had already given up and moved on, finally discovering her future husband while visiting old friends at her alma mater. Her responses completely surprised me.

I met someone on OkCupid. We dated for five months within those five months he gained my trust and ended up stealing over $75,555 worth of jewelry watches emptied out my kids but Eubanks. I don''t think it had anything to do with the website OkCupid just know that there are bad people out there and always go with your gut feeling he is currently in jail serving time for grand theft and fraud. I think all these dating sites should have some type of background check or a place for you can check people out. I did Google this person and nothing came up. If it''s too good to be true it is

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