- The Perils Of Dating On OkCupid While Black | HuffPost
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- White Men Dating Black Women - Online Dating, Free Dating Site
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That’s where a lot of the pain comes from: it brings up the adolescent fears that I will never fit in because I am not 8775 normal, 8776 whatever that means. And it looks like my fears have come true. I am not just an outsider due to the color of my skin. I am the weirdo who’s been involuntarily single for six years. I’m the person who can’t get a date from any of my online dating accounts. And the presence of all this supporting evidence weighs heavily on me.
The Perils Of Dating On OkCupid While Black | HuffPost
Then you wonder why
BW have attitudes! Rather than have an attitude, I rather go where I 8767 m
being treated well, in the arms of WM or other race! Ain 8767 t nobody have
time for BM practics and BS! Those days are over especially as much as
you put WW on a pedestal for over 95 years, you really need to STFU!
You didn 8767 t have any kids and didn 8767 t do a damn thing with your life! Your
White wife was the breadwinner while you stayed oniine whining about BW
and chasing WW P*ssy in your spare time, You wouldn 8767 t even help your
wife with her business! SMDH
BWWM Dating - Black Women White Men Interracial Dating
My mother will resent me for saying this, but I know there is a part of her that wanted to see me settle down with someone black, someone who looked like me. After five years of my boyfriend and I dating on and off, I think my mom has come to love him almost as much as I do. It didn’t seem to matter anymore what he looked like. Still, it was always funny that my mother questioned why I kept dating white guys, especially because I was raised as one of only few people of color in my community.
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Anti-black racism + misogyny = misogynoir. Being black does not mean that you can 8767 t be
patriarchal or insensitive or outright hostile to Black womanhood. AND there are
PLENTY of Black women who have internalized this anti-black gendered racism and colorism and they don 8767 t value Black womanhood either. Black women ALREADY catch enough hell from society and the mainstream white media for just EXISTING, so WTF does MN think it 8767 s doing with these kind of crackpot anti-black misogynist articles? All you are doing is propagating the FAKE and DISTORTED white mainstream media created 8775 crisis 8776 of single, 8775 unwanted 8776 black women. You SHOULD know better but yet, you keep fxcking doing it? What is it with you people? Stop doing these BULLSHXT articles. Black women *DO* get married, and even if we don 8767 t want to get married we can go and get men *IF* and *WHEN* we want them. SO either get your information correct so you can address this topic intelligibly or leave it the fxck alone.
My OkCupid account quickly turned into a black hole of negativity. Logging on began to feel like indulging in masochism. What new form of abuse would I see next? What form of anti-blackness would I encounter? I learned that as soon as you deleted and blocked a troll, another would be ready to take his place. They all resembled one another and they all recycled the same catch phrases and idiotic lines. There were the ones who thought that they were complimenting me by confessing that they didn't normally find Black women attractive, but they'd date me. There were the ones who overcompensated and declared that they "even though [they] were white, [they] didn't date white girls." These men were not attracted to the self-possessed person I was choosing to project on the site, but simply because my skin color was an anomaly, a point of amusement and Otherly fascination in their little bubble world.
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When it comes to experiencing explicit racial bias, I had been fortunate for most of my life. I grew up in the racial minority, but it wasn’t until making myself vulnerable to strangers in the dating world that I realized just how different I am. No matter how much I work on myself or the number of awards that I win, I will always be some sex object to most people who see, first and foremost, the color of my skin. And I cannot control that. I guess online dating was the rude awakening necessary to remind myself that I 8767 m not seen as a full human being by most of the people who scroll past my face in search of their new girlfriend.
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Well, if black women like yourself and in general would try investing time and take care of yourselves, because the majority of black women don 8767 t! Then perhaps you wouldn 8767 t be here online posting that! Also, it 8767 s more than just about your weight, it 8767 s also about your typical negative attitudes that in reality puts just about everybody off. And, please drop the 8775 hair hats 8776 !
As word travels down the small town of former classmates' engagements and weddings and babies, I am not intimidated by these mainstream markers of "successful adulthood." I deleted my OkCupid and Tinder accounts and I don't have any interest in trying out any other sites. I am not saying that all Black women should completely give up on online dating. For me, the choice is more about preserving my mental, emotional and psychological health. Why should I go online to read some guy hiding behind a computer spew the same garbage that I hear in the real world?
True, black women don 8767 t really enter marriage reaping advantages from marrying black men, because according to reports, we 8767 re always marrying down in income and education versus equal or up. Marrying black only serves black women to have a title and a ring. Not much else. However, there is a group of men neither black or white who are highly educated, not on the cultural radar, that I 8767 ve found to be open-minded and not as race based or culturally influenced. I won 8767 t say what that group is…you have to find out for yourselves. It works very well for me. I get a highly educated, good looking man, nice, who isn 8767 t a well known commodity and egotistical as they guys in the pop culture scene. I 8767 m in heaven now!
Also, Black women can date, marry, and have children with men of all races. These articles are nothing, but put in place to stop black women from dating outside of their race. They put fear in us and make us believe that we can only get a black man and that sites like Black People Meet and Meld are the only ones we can use. Don 8767 t believe that. And, if you 8767 re a black woman who wants to date outside your race, please don 8767 t listen to this crap! Don 8767 t just give in and think that black men are the only way to go because that 8767 s not true. Keep an open mind, stay positive, and stay beautiful!
Black women can discover love, and happiness just like any other women. But, they need to take care of themselves and lose all that weight, drop that all too well known negative attitude, and let your men be men not the boys that you make them into! BM aren 8767 t your pets so stop treating them as if they were! Lastly, try listening more, instead of thinking that you know everything! That clearly shows your own insecurity coupled with your usual low self-esteems.
I started thinking about the media and asking myself what qualities I was actually attracted to in a man, specifically my boyfriend, versus what qualities I'd been taught to find attractive. Part of me used to envy how soft, straight, and blond his hair was. One of my favorite things to do was to play with his hair. He would lie with his head in my lap, and I would run my fingers through the blond strands. It was so effortless to do that, to just run my fingers through his hair. When I did that to my hair, my hand got stuck a quarter of the way through.
Well I must be the exception to the rule because every dating site I got on, I was bombarded with men (mostly black) contacting me. Im very picky so I barely responded. There were times where I reached out to a few guys I thought were cute and they always were very open. A few guys were straight up gross asking about my bra size and saying they wanted sex stupid stuff but thats expected when you have perverts who can hide behind a screen. Im not doubting the statistics but I never ran into THAT problem with online dating and I dont think black women should be discouraged from online dating. The key to online dating is weeding out the liars, cheaters, and bs 8767 ers ( the same with face to face dating) The good thing about online dating is that you can talk to the person whoever long you want to before actually investing time into meeting them in person so that helps. I met my current and 7 of my ex boyfriends online.
The problem with black girls online is that they simply cannot compete with white, Latinas, or Asians. Almost every black woman I 8767 ve seen has the typical fashion: cheap heels, tons of makeup (as if black women needed it,) gaudy forever 76 clothes, and that those hideous extensions. Where are all the natural sistahs? Why all the effort to look like dark skinned versions of cheap white women? Did I also mention that most of ya are obese? Yes, non stop fat rolls hanging down your inner thighs black women are supposed to be skinny and graceful, the kind white men drool over.
Well, my experience was quite the opposite. I got about one or more dates a month on from black men. Some inquiries from white/hispanics..but mostly black men. In fact, I met the love of my life..my true were married a year and a half later, and applying tp adopt and start a family. It took me about 5 years on and off, ( lol) but I found him. I met many different types of men (never slept with em)..and I learned what traits to avoid or look for. I 8767 d say ho for it and give it a try. Follow online safety guides, don 8767 t sound desperate, and have some fun meeting new people You never know!!!!
When you look at the role models of my youth, the people and products the media put forth and said, “This is beauty personified,” you’ll notice a distinct theme: Barbie, Britney Spears, Polly Pocket, Sailor Moon, Mandy Moore, Mary Kate and Ashley — all white. I was fully submerged, I mean genuinely immersed, in a culture where people like me weren’t valued as beautiful, so much so that I remember wishing the thick, coarse hair on my American Girl doll, Addy , was straighter and “prettier,” like that of my other dolls.
Satan the Lord rebukes you I know that sounds extremely strong, but this article is nothing but another attack of the enemy to make black women feel unwanted and to keep us alone, it 8767 s just sad that it 8767 s our people reporting this mess, but then again black people as a whole are good at putting down black women. It 8767 s so ironic that in the new year when so many sisters have committed to finding new love or just to get out of the house an article comes along and says fuggeda about it, it 8767 s no use in you even trying. Another odd thing about this article is that it may very well be true but it 8767 s written in a very mean spirited way. I for one think that on line dating is a place to start and should only be a part of an overall dating plan not the only way to try and meet men. I do not know the intention of the person who wrote this article but you didn 8767 t discourage me from trying online dating you motivated me to try it as well as to get out and meet people.
You 8767 re dismissing the very real, very hurtful fact that society openly devalues black women and constantly send us the message that we are undesirable, and men of all races buy into it. I agree with you that we do better on sites like black people meet, where black men who show up actually want to date black women. But there are still 65-75 of us for every one black man on those sites. So the outcomes while better still aren 8767 t great. Denial doesn 8767 t do anyone any good.More images «Black women and white men online dating»
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