Posted: 2017-10-21 14:39
Holley, I love this post. I am also an introvert and the energy it takes to be in a crowd is exhausting. I was mostly a loner growing up and not nurtured to be who I was deep down therefore turning my child enthusiasm and thinking I 8775 can 8776 into self doubt, loathe and insecurity. Reading your book, 8775 You 8767 re Meant For A God-Sized Dream 8776 helped me realize that it 8767 s ok to be me and that there is something special I have that the world needs. This post just solidifies what I had hoped would be true!
Hey Nancy It 8767 s funny because while these profiles are good, they have been copied THOUSANDS of times. I single handedly made the 8775 Anchorman 8776 the most quoted movie of all time on okCupid because so many guys copied the #7 profile with the 8775 Anchorman 8776 quote in it. If you search okCupid you 8767 ll see thousands of guys that just copied these profiles word for word and they wonder why they don 8767 t work. lol
I’m not sure what to do. I’m an abivert. And there’s an introverted guy who keeps reaching out to me but he hasn’t asked me out. I always enjoy him. We find it easy to talk. When we’re in crowded rooms, he waves at me (secretly–he initiates it) and after the event he comes over to hang out and talk to me. Lately he invites me to hang out with him before events. Of course I do it because I like him.
I do think this is part of being a highly sensitive introvert. We tend to see the best in folks from the very beginning and our huge hearts make us quick to bond. We 8767 re also very loyal. The book Social Intelligence by Daniel Goleman describes how people are wired to 8775 catch 8776 each other 8767 s moods and emotions almost like a cold and actually kind of sync up with whoever we 8767 re talking to so what you said makes a lot of sense given our super sensitive systems. We 8767 re probably more likely and able to do that than some other types of nervous systems. Hmm, I 8767 m gonna think more about that
Thanks so much for this post. I just found your books and blog and I have been so enlightened. Thank God for this! I 8767 ve always felt like I was 8775 flawed 8776 because I am labeled 8775 over-sensitive 8776 , too quiet, etc. It is freeing to know that God intended me to be his way when He created me. I too love to write and find it difficult to talk on the phone and in person. It 8767 s nice to know that I 8767 m not alone in my feelings and that it is perfectly ok to be so. Thank you for being open and for sharing with us. It is really a blessing and has made me look at myself and my future in a very different light. Thanks for shedding light on why I am the way I am and for the hope that I am special and loved just the way I am.
I 8767 m pointing this out because, as a pronounced introvert, I sometimes get annoyed with the 8775 I 8767 m so special 8776 treatment of introverts on the Internet. Introversion is a normal, regular way for a human to be. Many people fall on the introverted side of the 8775 spectrum 8776 . Introverts are not necessarily gifted in anyway. This is important to grasp because what is being asked is NOT to give special treatment nor to accommodate a minority what 8767 s being asked is to integrate meeting the needs of a sizable segment of the population into a culture. Some cultures already do this, perhaps to the other extreme of stigmatizing extroversion. However, American culture does favor the extrovert. When we grasp that this stigmatizing of introverts is a detriment socially, that we are not enabling a big chunk of people to contribute their best, then it becomes a matter of 8775 what 8767 s good for everyone 8776 , not just 8775 what 8767 s good for the introvert 8776 .
The nervous-system may be more sensitive, but not all introverts are emotionally sensitive. In MBTI, the IxTx types seem to get more easily drained by 8775 emotional information 8776 or stimuli which asks them to process personal matters. This is because their brain has an 8775 orientation 8776 for processing impersonal data. IxFx types may have more stamina for 8775 human interest 8776 topics. The IxFJ types, preferring extroverted feeling as a secondary process, may have a higher tolerance for the emotional dynamics between people and displaying/reading social cues and values. The IxFP types may have a higher tolerance for the emotional dynamics within individuals, as well as reading and accommodating individual mannerisms and values, due to the primary preference for introverted feeling.
The above definition is what feminism means. Other negative connotations are being tacted on to it by the woman who wrote the A profile, and are being encouraged by you. Also, what exactly is an extreme feminist and why is it necessary to include that with feminist? When did the quest for equal rights become so negative? Frankly, the word 8775 feminist 8776 has been unjustifiably abused and misused. I would hope that a majority of men and women would identify themselves as feminists.
This last profile below gets the highest great for both the content and the creativity. It almost sounds like a poem. What I particularly like about this profile is that it shows that a woman hasn 8767 t lost faith in true love and romance but at the same time she is also realistic. The ending of it might sound a bit on a more desperate side, but all in all maybe it 8767 s not such a terrible thing to sound a bit desperate for love and connection if that 8767 s how you really feel.
These sites, are a scam, preying on desperate and dateless men, and they are actually getting more sophisticated. In the case of AYI by Snap Interactive, all of those profiles, actually claim to be located in random towns nearby to you, in my case, i will still get a ton of matches from women in Victoria, Australia, but they are invariably people from various places, that are paid to set up profiles and have limited interaction with the people that get sucked in by them. But because it only affects men, this is perfectly legal.
8775 I have been in the - area for a few years now and always looking to meet new people. (This first sentence says nothing eye-catching about the woman and is very bland, and boring). I am a very hard worker and love my job. I work a lot, but I know how to balance well. I enjoy
meeting new people and going to new places. (still, nothing thought provoking or attractive) I am very spontaneous and I love the outdoors, watching movies, dancing, and traveling. (Another cliché statement that is being used by thousands of other women) A great date can be staying at home with a movie and popcorn, or a night on the town. (This statement has no purpose whatsoever). I made myself a promise a few years ago to take a vacation somewhere new, out of state, every year. I have not been disappointed yet. I would really love to see Europe. (Finally something somewhat interesting that she says about herself).
It 8767 s possible that you may need to take a digital dating break—but not necessarily a complete dating break—if your only way of meeting partners is online. 8775 Dating apps can be sort of addictive, and since we always have our phones on us, getting rid of the apps is an easy first step in getting rid of the temptation to stay in the dating scene when you 8767 re on a break, 8776 says Gibson. It 8767 s easy to become overly dependent on digital dating, but it 8767 s important to create opportunities for meeting people offline, too, says Davis Edwards. 8775 It 8767 s equally important to be open to the possibility of meeting someone in person, and that means putting yourself in the right position to connect with new people. 8776
Instead, get to the root of who you are and what are looking for. If you are a Conservative or Liberal, then say it upfront. If religion is important to you, say it. If you need someone to be taller, tell them. If there are things you consider 8766 deal-breakers 8767 , then you should say it. Who cares what someone thinks of you if they are not a match? The point is, get to the point about the things that are most important to you right off the bat.
8766 When U lay down & ur mind goes into 8766 REWIND 8767 (to make Sure U have a 8766 CLEAR picture 8767 of ALL that was said & done ea. day OR what U need to DO the Next day to 8766 CORRECT & /OR Help it to be BETTER) 8767 : U R ALWAYS EXHAUSTED! Ur 8766 Mind & Bod suffers! U MUST have Better 8766 NUTRITION 8767 & 8766 Take Time 8767 9 urself & NOT feel GUILTY(or think U R SELFISH or have become 8766 an IMMATURE SELFIE 8767 ) 8766 TRUE FRIENDS WILL understand-others just WONT & theres nothing U can do to 8766 CHANGE 8767 them-thats up tp GOD- thats HIS 8766 job 8767 HE Created them ALSO -)
I have always felt like a failure because I couldn 8767 t be the kind of person others wanted me to be. I have even made myself miserable and sometimes physically ill from trying to force myself to be what I am not. I 8767 ve always had that feeling of being on the outside and looking in, watching everyone else having a 8775 normal 8776 life. God has been dealing with me over the last few years and He has shown me how much He loves me just as I am, and that He created me a specific way for His purposes. I have discovered that God can use my 8775 over-sensitivity 8776 to identify and encourage those people in my church who are on the fringes, the quiet ones who everyone else tends to ignore.
Sweet, Elizabeth! I have been going around in my own home lately (actually for some time ) saying 8775 I can 8767 t be me! 8776 8775 They won 8767 t let me be me! 8776 8775 She won 8767 t let me be her mom! 8776 I am 57 years of age and am weary. I am seriously thinking about printing Holley 8767 s article and giving it to family members. I need to also consider if I am letting them be them. Holy Spirit will help me. 🙂 Thank you for what you shared, Elizabeth. God continue to bless you richly!
Love how you described introversion as a nervous system setting, rather than about how much we do or don 8767 t like people. I am also an off-the-charts introvert, and only realized how highly sensitive I am after we added two energetic kids to the family through foster-adoption last year (we had 8 before that, but spaced out and, well, quieter!). Prior to that I 8767 d never felt overwhelmed in my own home, just if I was out and about and socializing too much. So it 8767 s been a major learning curve to find ways to deal with it so I can stay sane and nice to everyone in the family. 😉
This is exactly me. I 8767 ve always wondered if it is just my quirky personality that if I feel a connection with someone, even if we just met, I instantly care a lot about them. I feel instantly invested in people I connect with. Is this part of being an introvert? You 8767 d think with my past, I 8767 d be a little more walled off but I just don 8767 t seem to have that in my heart or abilities.
You don t want to spend the entire evening talking with the people you already know (or maybe you do, but if you re out to socialize or network, that s probably not helpful). However, start by talking with your friend and then include new people into the conversation. Ask for their input on a topic you re already discussing. This trick allows you to bring other people into your own, existing conversations, which may be more comfortable for introverted brains.
After reading this post I have even greater insight of my beautiful wife. I truly love you Chavos and am grateful for you being in my life you are the kindest person I know. You help balance me. Becoming one with you has been the second greatest decision I 8767 ve made next to serving Christ. I know this post will make you blush but I couldn 8767 t read this post and your comments without sharing a reply.