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Guide to dating an introvert woman

How Introverts and Extroverts Can Peacefully Coexist

Date: 2017-08-12 21:51.

79. Read a book you 8767 ve got on your shelf that 8767 s unread. Most of us have a book or two around our home that 8767 s unread something that we 8767 ll read 8775 someday. 8776 Let today be that someday. Dig out that book and give it a serious, long reading. Let yourself get lost in the book, no matter what it is, and see if you can get through it (or at least a significant portion of it) in one sitting. Getting lost in a book is one of my favorite experiences and it can easily be a free one.

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Said gentleman has even gone so far as to tell me that “Oh he did WANT to date me”. So out of annoyance and preferring to be straight forward I ask “well why didn’t you then”? His plausible response whilst looking down at his feet – I didn’t think you were interested. Oh well too late now. Buh bye. But this scenario (and the repetitive cycle) annoys the life outta me, because it always appears that the main reasons why this continues to happen, the extrovert jumped in his lap, whilst I stood back and quietly observed and appeared to be unapproachable.

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Thanks so much for this post. I just found your books and blog and I have been so enlightened. Thank God for this! I 8767 ve always felt like I was 8775 flawed 8776 because I am labeled 8775 over-sensitive 8776 , too quiet, etc. It is freeing to know that God intended me to be his way when He created me. I too love to write and find it difficult to talk on the phone and in person. It 8767 s nice to know that I 8767 m not alone in my feelings and that it is perfectly ok to be so. Thank you for being open and for sharing with us. It is really a blessing and has made me look at myself and my future in a very different light. Thanks for shedding light on why I am the way I am and for the hope that I am special and loved just the way I am.

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Yes, that 8767 s how I learned the hard way. As an extrovert who used to be shy (yes, that 8767 s possible!), I thought my three introverts just had to get bolder like I did! Shy extroverts are especially struggling because we desperately WANT to be in the midst of people to absorb the energy, but we are not confident enough to do it I til we learn how to. I finally did learn as an adult.

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Part of the trouble with talking about introverts and extroverts is defining just what these words mean. Introvert isn t just code for I don t like people. Nor does extrovert mean that you can fly from one conversation to the next with the greatest of ease. Perhaps the way to best define the difference between introversion and extroversion (unless you re conducting scientific psychological studies) is by answering the question How do you relax best?

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Ive been confused for a long time now and i want some experts 8767 opinion on the matter. Approx 7 months ago i met a girl and spent the whole day with her, asked for her number and kept in touch. Because of both our schedules, we didn 8767 t get to meet each other, but kept talking via whatsapp and calls. We decided to meet two weeks ago and we did. Getting together wasnt easy but i still did, and we had a great time hanging out for approx 6 hours in the night, which ended up kissing (lots) She told me she 8767 s happy i made it to her and its a shame were not living closer to each other. I considered that night a success. The next day however, she started ignoring my calls and messages, and i have no clue why. All the signs showed me that she 8767 s intrested, and Im just extremely confused about it now.

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Thank you for this Holley! As I read through some of the comments I learned that being shy and being and introvert are not the same thing. I can stop referring to myself as shy (in some situations) now! Although I think she understands, I forwarded this on my best friend who I think might be classified as a sensitive extrovert (she 8767 s never met a stranger but yet group situations (like parties) can overstimulate her) and her husband and I both are introverts. I am an INFJ on the Myer-Briggs test: 56% Introvert, 67% Intuitive, 67% Feeling and 99% Judging. As I remember, I used to be a lot more introverted than I am currently and I thought I was an ISFJ before but I don 8767 t think my numbers would change that drastically in a 67 to 68 year span so I could be wrong about that last part.

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Do you make your man look good? Now we don 8767 t mean this in an accessory or arm candy way though. Do you stand up for your man in public no matter what? A knight loves rescuing a damsel in distress, but at times, the knight would be grateful for a rescue too. Brag about him when you 8767 re out with friends, avoid bitching about him or correcting him in front of other people, and let him do the same for you.

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99. Take some digital photographs and share them online. If you 8767 re building a natural collection or observing anything interesting at all, take along your digital camera and snap some photographs of it (if you don 8767 t have a digital camera, borrow one). Then, take these images and share them with others on a photo-sharing site like Flickr. Be sure to put in the effort to add detailed notes about each picture so that others may enjoy them as well.

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98. Get politically informed. Find out what candidates are going to appear on your ballot in the upcoming election (as well as any ballot initiatives) and find out more about each one of them. Compare the candidates running for the same office and make a rational decision about each campaign. You can do most of this research online today if you can 8767 t, call the local offices of each political party to find out about local candidates. Doing this will make you an informed voter and likely an influential one, since you can state clear reasons why you 8767 re supporting the candidates you 8767 re supporting and this can often sway others.

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Holley, the number of your personal responses to many of these comments speaks to the kindness of your heart. Thank you.
I resonated with every single point in your article. Beautifully said!
One other way people could love introverts, if they really want to, is to realize that we often have deep and valuable insights on a topic, but are unwilling possibly even unable to interrupt the loud voices surrounding us. If you want to hear some wisdom, rather than just a lot of noise, ask an introvert what he/she thinks then WAIT for that well-thought-through answer. An introvert is probably used to being overlooked in group conversation, and this gift of listening will be extremely validating and will be felt as deeply loving. There is a two-way blessing just waiting to be opened up here.

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I can relate to the green-eyed monster and the extroverted women. I had extroverted friends and back then, trying to keep up with them was a full time job. It seemed like they were catching some kind of momentum, an extroverted flow, if you will, and I was wearing lead boots. It was extremely frustrating. I saw how they radiated, felt alive, had a sparkle in their eyes, and men (both introverted and extroverted) seemed to adore them: “Aaah, now that’s a woman! Forever bubbly, colourful, and eternally talking, radiant, always ready, willing and able to do anything, and anywhere.” They seemed easy for the men, not just sexually, but easy to handle, no need for guessing what they are thinking and feeling, no need to work to really dig deep and get to know you. Sure, I was green with envy. I on the otherhand was like an old woman, moody (after too much socializing) and needed a nap. And not to mention difficult to please, especially to the extrovert.

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The solution: Communication. It may sound cliché, but it s true. This problem doesn t just occur along the lines of introverts and extroverts. In fact, this dance is one of the fundamental tensions of dating and romance. Making the first move or knowing what the other person wants is part of the fundamental problem of being able to hear your own thoughts and no one else s.

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I agree with ABSOLUTELY everything that you have said (and several others) about the introverted woman and DESPISING (emphasis mine) the energy required to flirt. Ugh…AND yes if I like a man, after sitting back and watching him and interacting with him over a certain length of time, I’d much prefer the “hey, I like you lets get a cup of coffee” approach. BUT no, that’s considered too dominant and aggressive. But the gregarious chick, that’s who most men are drawn towards.

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Being an introvert and being shy are two different things. What happens with introverts is that we get over stimulated rather easily so we get drained after being in social situations, especially when there are people we don 8767 t know. Recovery (alone) time is needed afterwards to feel 8775 normal 8776 again. Shyness is more about low self-esteem or low self-confidence which leads to having trouble communicating in social situations. For example, if you were to ask any of my friends and coworkers if I am shy, they would say no. However, I am definitely an introvert.

69. They make you play 75 Questions before agreeing to plans. Who is going to be there? Do I know them? Are they in any way annoying or unseemly? What is the potential of getting stuck with them? Will it be awkward? List the ways they could possibly be terrible to hang out with. Will it be expensive? How are we going to get out of the situation? How will we get home? Will the subway be crowded? Don 8767 t you want to read a book in a dark coffee shop instead?

Rose, I love how you said your introversion has “blossomed” – great choice of words! Thank you for sharing your struggle to adjust to your new environment. Believe me, I know the feeling.
My two favorite introvert Facebook Pages are Introvert’s are Awesome and Social Introverts. Psychology today has a good blog, called Introvert’s Corner. The Introvert Entrepreneur website also has some insightful blog posts 🙂

The alternative for extroverts is to have plenty of options. In the example above, the extrovert gets frustrated because she called three friends with no luck. If you find yourself running into this problem often, find more friends. Again, it may sound callous—not to mention difficult (though not impossible ) to do—but it s a simple numbers game: if you want to be social every weekend night and you don t have enough friends that do as well, you ll either need to know more people or live with the frustration. Finding a group outside your introverted friends/significant others can make it much easier to get the stimulation you need. If you have trouble making friends (yes, extroverts can have this problem, too), try taking a class, volunteering at events , or joining a club.

I first discovered my introversion at the age of 69 when my father, not known for his sensitivity, blurted out that he was an extrovert and I was an introvert. He made it sound like an insult. I had always known that I was quiet, but had never put another name to it. At first I refused to believe that was the case, because it made me sound like a horrible, anti-social grump. That was not how I felt inside. All my family are extroverts and had/have little understanding of why I behave the way I do. For years I felt like an outsider. A year ago I read Susan Cain’s Quiet, and the pieces came together like a jigsaw. At 87 I am now discovering who I am, and that it is nothing to be ashamed of. I wish I had discovered this earlier but I am grateful to now be able to reach out to others who are just like me, and feel like I am not the outsider I once thought I was.

I CANNOT thank you enough for this. Hard to type through tears. I 8767 m so tired of feeling less-than and apologizing especially at the holy days because I can 8767 t do one. more. gathering. Even at church, we think the answer is one more girls 8767 night out, one more Bible study. I just want to have coffee. I 8767 m a school secretary who dwells in the superficial 95 hours a week. SO grateful for my job, but I can 8767 t do any more of that in my off-work life. THANK YOU! Now I have to ask Father to soak this new understanding into me so that I can accept this about myself and relate graciously to the peeps I love! New freedom! Thank you so much!

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