Posted: 2017-09-12 21:52
Phuong: Well, when I was a child, Vietnam was very poor (s he is in her early twenties ) and still suffering from the war. My family did not have much money. My mother could not afford milk when I was a baby, so she fed me water she boiled the rice with. Beef and chocolate were too expensive for the average family. I remember my aunty giving me a piece of white chocolate when I was 8 years old. It tasted so good haha.
Vietnamese girls are absolutely lovely. They are extremely loyal and will be looking for a husband that she will stay with for life. However, they are extremely wary of foreigners coming, promising them the world and either cheating or leaving without them. For this reason they are considerably more jealous than most girls in the world. Im also from US, and its quite a bit worse than there. So just make her feel safe. She might check your phone at some point, haha, culture differences allow it here more than heads up.
Now, my boyfriend and I had decided to do the ldr. I visited him for 7 weeks, and what I saw was completely different from what you described. First, the women crave western foreigner men. Everywhere my boyfriend went, he would get stared down like a blue passport commodity (mind you- he is vietnamese, but very tall, slender, and handsome- so he stuck out like a sore thumb. Women would prance themselves around my boyfriend. In fact, I met his boss while she was out here in the US, and her agenda was to hook him up with her daughter all along that 8767 s another story.
I 8767 m a Vietnamese girl and studied Vietnamese culture. I don 8767 t totally gree about some of point of view you are some problems you have written that are wrong. And I 8767 m sure Thomas’s girlfriend Phuong provided a lot of incorrect information. I guess she is Northerner in Vietnam. Or when she said but you have written wrong. EX:
8775 Ho Chi Minh City is in the communist part of the country. The city was once called Saigon and got renamed after the first communist leader of North Vietnam. The girls in this part of the country are more traditional, less accepting of foreigners (especially Americans) and more conservative in their beliefs.
Thank you for your writing, Sebastian. You combine valuable perception with refreshing frank honesty all around—about the cultures you discuss and about the guys you are writing for. It feels like you size up everyone 8767 s strengths and weaknesses realistically, and to me this is more respectful than whitewashing any of us. It 8767 s such a relief to read straight dope that does not feel packaged and rendered 8775 correct. 8776 Bravo to you for learning to live so well, and thank you for sharing your insights with the rest of us.
I m in Ha Noi now after dating a VN girl for a while. Not too many cultural issues here since I m dealing with a non-rural family. Only small things change like wearing shoes inside (obviously) and that all of her family tries to feed me at all times. You re likely to be offered a lot of food, and they re much happier the more you eat. Status is also a bit more important here I find. Mothers are likely to endorse the most successful (wealthy) suitor in many cases, but like all things in life, this isn t 655% across the board.
When going on a first date, and even subsequent ones, the man is expected to plan and pay for the entire affair. The man should also give the woman gifts and flowers at the beginning of each date as symbols of the woman accepting both the man and his feelings for her. Initially, it is recommended that the man takes the woman to a public place with a group of friends before later taking her on private dates. During the group dates, the man and the woman are expected to refrain from showing each other physical affection, as it is looked down on in the Vietnamese culture.
I think there are many cultural issues West guys should understand if they want dating and marry Vietnamese. For example: why Vietnamese women do not have sex before marriage, Why guys should not give Chrysanthemum to girls, why Vietnamese women keep their husbands money (Vietnamese men often say that wife is the bank It 8767 s easy to put money, but it 8767 s hard to get out money !!! lol),Why when married, he had to give wedding presents to his future wife 8767 s family, why mother-in-law gives the bride 8767 s earrings,.
8. You should meet her folks as soon as possible
This is especially true for people who are looking for Vietnamese girls for marriage. If a girl from Saigon is going to marry you, she needs to see your commitment by meeting her parents and her friends too. Remember that in the Viet culture, family comes first and the members take every opportunity to meet in the holidays. If you are serious about a future together, she will be ready to show you off to her people.
Although they may be standard, Vietnamese girls and females fancy the American life-style. It truly is as a result of truth that jobs are offered inside the USA that several Vietnamese females relocate for the USA. They do this mainly to support themselves and also their households. It really is therefore, inevitable that they would seek a partner who understands them and renders the exact same respect to them. Finding a job can be a necessity for many Vietnamese females who reside inside the USA, as they may be self-sufficient by nature.
9. No sex on the first date – never
Take your Vietnamese girl to a restaurant for the first date. Pride and honor are very important to her and therefore if you take her to a hotel on the first date, she is going to be suspicious and you may not get a second date. In fact, this applies to all women. Not many women will agree to have sex on the first date. In the Vietnamese dating culture, women hardly date for sex only. So on the first date, do not even entertain the notion.
The chat program in Vietnam is Viber. Download the app. It’s free and will come in handy. When you have decided on the girl or girls, you want to meet, give them your phone number. They will certainly give you theirs. Remember, some are a little shy, so it might be you that has to text them on arrival. However, many are also up for the game and will send you an SMS once they know your arrival date.
Can love work between couples from different language backgrounds and different cultures? If I look at the family of my older sister and of my boss, I think it can. However, it’s never easy, and making it work is far more complicated than just overcoming the issues of language and culture. For, in reality, I know that my boss and my sister have had to accept more than just their partners’ cultural traits.
Phuong: Haha yes! Since I was a child, I have heard many ghost stories from my grandparents. Sometimes you will see Vietnamese people burning items on the street like fake money, clothes, jewelry, etc. They might also spread out rice, salt, wine, candies, cake, etc. We believe when the evil spirits receive it, they will bring us luck. If not, they will interfere with our life or business. But once you start doing this, you can’t stop, because the evil spirits will remind you in some bad way haha.
7. Stereotypes are just that – stereotypes!
Mostly, what you think you know about the cultures of the Vietnamese is probably stereotypical and half-truths. Therefore, do not assume anything. Every person would feel insulted if a person from a different culture assumes that all things they have heard about their culture is true. If you need to know something, ask. Vietnam dating can be hard or easy, but it will mostly depend on you and how much groundwork you are ready to do. If you still think that Africa is a country … well … you will not have a chance with a brilliant Vietnamese woman.
8. Introduce her to your parents
There is no better way to show a woman you are serious about her than introducing her to your parents. When you take her home, do not bother saying she is Vietnamese or anything. Just say her name, where she works or schools. That is enough. Anyone who wants to know more can always ask. You see, just because she is Vietnamese and you are a westerner, it does not make her any less. A woman is a woman is a woman.
Vietnamese girls and girls are tremendously influenced by western culture, and find out quite a bit from it. They may be as capable as their partners, if not far more. It truly is an enviable truth that although they understand from the culture inside the USA, they may be not negatively influenced by it and nevertheless retain their customary, regular values. This can be possibly the cause why Vietnamese girls and females are in demand, as partners, inside the USA.
5. Show her you are able to provide
In the Vietnamese dating culture, the man is the sole provider for his family. However, things are changing with the times and today, you can share bills at home. However, when you go for Vietnam singles dating , do not be surprised if she lets you pay the first, second, third, fourth and umpteenth bill. You should be able to take good care of her. Anyway, this idea of splitting bills is just so unmanly.
You can call anyone one than you by 6 - 65 years Em. The sound oi is afterwards because it is awkward to just yell Em or someone s name when you call them, so oi is just for getting someone s attention. For instance, if I have a server who is or near the same age as me at a restaurant, I can get their attention by saying Em oi! Same thing when I call my mother-in-law, I say Me oi! Additionally, you could get a cousins attention or anyone else fitting the age criteria by saying Em oi. There is no inherent affection in the statement. It s most likely just cute and endearing for her to hear you say it.
Of course, as in any culture, the parents love their children and want the best for them. However, what is considered "best" are things like family status of their potential mate, wealth, proximity to their own parents, and health. These betrothed children, unless they move from the village for work or some other reason, almost always end up marrying the person their parents pick. However, the idea of "love" as westerners think of is not factored into the arrangement.