Posted: 2017-10-13 03:15
My problem hasn't been so much with the issues mentioned in the article..I don't know what it's like in other areas, but when I search dating sites in my area, it is the same people on there all the time, year after year. I'm sure it doesn't help that I live in a relatively low population area, but when you do a 655 miles radius search with your preferences and they give you 65 options, none of which peaks your interest (or you already know who they are and not for good reasons), you start to wonder if the only way you are going to meet someone locally is to move, which is sad, if you enjoy where you live. One thing I am most tired of is feeling like I'm reading the same profile over and over. 'Cliches' is a good word to sum up the majority of really becomes a bore. You know what I mean."ask me anything" " I have kids and they are my number 6. if you don't like it, move on!!!" "No games" "Im an open book"... the minute I start reading and see one, I next. Yeah, I have grown quite cynical of online dating, both with the men I have met in real life and the profiles I have seen.
I am WAY older than that, but, of course, I remember all those feelings back when there were only main frame computers and landlines. Back when women's lib was just getting going in the 75's. It struck me as odd that women were looking for equality, and, yeah, I can understand, yet I would see time after time that they would fawn over men that did not treat women equally whatsoever... the same women going for the "bad boys" ... hasn't changed.
For example, in recent decades, women have begun hunting and gathering for the male, so to speak. Traditional romantic roles are going by the wayside. In and of itself, this is not necessarily a horrible thing, but it is confusing. Why so? Because our society has inadvertently produced a new male prototype who has become adept at not putting in the time and effort to pursue a woman who truly interests him---the way men used to do.
I get turned off by guys base jumping, skiing in the Swiss Alps and all that jazz, even running, because that's just not me. None of that stuff would interest me. If you play a sport like soccer, baseball, then perhaps. I am sure though there a lot of women into that sort of stuff. It's just about odds really. I guess a lot of women just don't care that men run around the block and jump out planes! But then again I'm sure there would be many women into that.
Interesting idea, but not my experience. I get my fair share of messages.. on average, 5 a day. I'm pretty good looking by most standards, though I'm fully aware I'm not the most attractive, and I often find messages from men who are far less physically attractive than the men I've dated IRL (some of whom I've met online!) Of all the men, most find my profile interesting and say so, even if there's a blatantly obvious comment (about interests, what we're seeking, or looks) that should make it obvious that we aren't compatible. It's like they ignore it and try, anyway.
Disclaimer: We work hard to offer you valuable and reliable information about all of the products and services we review. In order to provide you with this free service, we use links on our site that provide us with commissions for referring you to the seller s site. We guarantee that this does not influence the material we present, but may influence the positioning on our site, and only supports our efforts to offer you the best and most relevant information possible.
Adult online dating makes it much easier to seek hook-ups without commitment. It is strictly a place for finding sex, which makes breaking the ice a lot easier. You don t have to worry about the awkwardness or social consequences of openly soliciting sex because everyone on a sex site knows that s what they re there for. Adult dating is an open-minded world where sex is on everyone s mind and to-do list.
In comparison to the work nice guys have to do, women (particularly average to good looking women) absolutely do appear to have all the advantages. Average nice guys are competing for attention from the creeps, the jerks, the ugly guys, the good looking guys, the hookup bad boys, even other women. All the cards are stacked against us. It's like a message in a bottle or winning the lottery to catch them at just the right time at just the right moment to get a response.
I've yet to find a real dating site. What is missing from all these sites is the social aspect. almost has it. They have their "events", but they are few and far apart. A dating site should be where people.. wait for it.. TALK. interact, have people exchange their opinions and see if they are compatible. Hell, even have them play some games together as ice breakers. Instead of have this computer assume that just because you like Rock n Roll and she likes Jazz that you can't be together. We are a complex creature, we want to be challenged. We want to learn and get new experiences. Maybe he will love Jazz, maybe she'll love Rock. Maybe they will never love each other's music, but they will love each other because of their deep secret love for Captain Crunch cereal! However, without trying, or interacting, we will not know. Is there a risk? Of course, there is a risk at love. But, all good things come with a bit of risk after all. The faster people accept this, the faster you will find what you are looking for.
If only a simple Hello would suffice, because reading a dozen ENTIRE profiles every day is time consuming and a little draining on the mind. That isn't even considering that I then need to choose which women I feel I could bond with over either similar outlooks on life or common interests and goals. If only looks were all that mattered, or better yet if looks didn't even matter. Alas they do, and everybody is attracted to people with similar genetic markers to themselves. If the world weren't like that though, we'd join a site and be done the next day.
I'm a writer, so my profile tends to attract men with a high intellect or a desire to find an emotional match, so they comment on something I'd written primarily. However, the ones that catch a peek at my attractiveness or curvaceousness do mention it in their first message and their ssecond message and their third message and in text messages and, sometimes, on a first date where it's inappropriate and, for lack of a better word, "creepy."
I want to approach women in the real world, but I get in my own way as a shy nerdy introvert who has a roommate (read, doesn't have a private place to take a girl back to, if they were so inclined). It's a lie that there's someone out there for everyone. After all, if that were true, there wouldn't be so many lonely people out there. Guess I need to just drop the sites and focus on trying to make myself happy in life without romance.
Chris - which ones have you tried? I had a friend who had terrible luck as well. He tried E-harmony and was successful. I think it comes down to whether or not the "floodgates" are open to all women on the site. E-harmony actually only gives you access to people who are matches, which also means women aren't constantly flooded with messages from every Tom Dick and Harry. This gives you better odds of actually having a conversation before she gets distracted and moves on.
The study explained this had an evolutionary advantage. Because for all the hundreds of women out of your league who say no, you might get one yes. And then you have access to really attractive genetic material. But the faulty cognition is passed down to your offspring who also keep chasing women they haven't a hope with, and getting annoyed when they receive the obvious refusal, and so the cycle continues.
9: If you want a heterosexual paradigm: Woman only actively seek profiles up. Men stop initiating any contact. This is of course an utopia. From my experience (probably longer than most of you), the silver platter women are handed is not going to change. Those in power will seldom let go of it. And yes, there are some degree of initiating contact from woman, but it is truly unbalanced. What happened to equality and girl power?
Eric: It&rsquo s not. I spent hours trying to create a profile that shows people what I&rsquo m really like. No dice. Sure, I get a lot of profile &ldquo views&rdquo , but no messages. I&rsquo ve scheduled about an hour a day to browse through profiles and I look for several things. Most importantly is that she likes doing similar things that I do. Secondly of course is that the profile gives me some feeling that there could be chemistry.
You know why men on dating sites are like that? Because after weeks or months of sending deeply thought out, interesting messages to women with shared interests and trying to talk about those interests, only to get completely ignored or get a one line reply and then nothing, most of us realized there's just no point in wasting time. In fact, I found this article by googling "why do women never want to talk about common interests on dating sites", trying to figure out why this is the case. From all my experience it seems clear to me that all women want are cheap thrills from a hot "bad guy" - nice, interesting guys with common interests don't tickle their libido so we get ignored.
It is important to note that women are playing their own role in this game of losers. Women by evolutionary design (primarily revolving around the unequal distribution of effort regarding procreation) seek out comfort and safety which play into the unequal distribution of power and wealth. Early on men realize their ability to find a partner directly correlates to their ability to acquire wealth so as to be a better provider of safety and comfort for a wife and any potential offspring. While it is true a poor man can find a partner it should come as no surprise that the greater wealth a man possesses the more opportunities he has to find a desirable mate.
9. Practice makes perfect. As they say, practice makes perfect and nowhere is this mantra truer than with dating. There's an art to flirting , an art to chatting someone up. An art to going in for the kiss and to denying access to your chambers. Or, alternatively, giving them the green light. It makes it that much easier on a real date if you've had a series of fake dates to bone up on your skills. One Night Stand Dos And Don'ts