Posted: 2017-09-11 16:12
Take a good look around you. The nuclear family is disappearing. The middle class is disappearing. What you have then are generations of children that are not only poor, but raised by single or divorced parents. Aha! Introduce the widespread availability of technology and what happens to the study then? The disproportionate share of successful children from indigent, 8775 broken 8776 families can only level out, if not turn the other way.
I’m a single mother of a 6 year old daughter who regretfully got tattoos to cover up my heart ache. I have a problem finding love in the wrong people and need to loe weight to get my confidence back. I’m a player and sleep around trying to get myself through uni and raising my daughter. I find love in the wrong places and know I’m just desperate to be with someone even when I know there wrong for me pleas help a desperate single mother
However. Do I have moments when I 8767 m lonely? Of course I do! My friends are all married and I hate it when the conversation comes around to me 8775 needing a man in my life 8776 . I don 8767 t enjoy always having to do things by myself like going to parents evening and the bloody PTA. I would love to go Christmas shopping with a partner or husband. But I 8767 m convinced that my day will come. Some day she wont need me this much and she will have her own life and I 8767 ll have to go out there and get myself a new one. My advice to single mothers, fathers, whoever you are, is to just raise your kids in an environment where they feel like THEY are number 6 in your life. Their happiness as a child is crucial to who they become as a adult and what they then offer to society.
I hate how single mothers are judged so harshly by some but some us don 8767 t help ourselves by continuing to date the same dickheads over and over again, and worse, having more babies with them. Instead of being insulted by articles like this one, take a look in the mirror! Does this apply to you or not?
Interesting view of things and I think this is how many people think. I believe there are many women out there who have suffered emotional and/or physical abuse in their past and have made all kinds of mistakes that are considered 8766 wrong 8767 . The logic behind this, is that there were a lot of 8766 wrong choices 8767 made for them as a child and so they might have had a slower development of their own autonomy. I know this, because this is me. The upside is, I AM developing, and I learned a lot from it. I don 8767 t date, because I don 8767 t have time for it. My daughter is 6,5 and has a great understanding of emotions and can verbalize them. She 8767 s loved and has my attention 79/7. She 8767 s free to take her own choices every day and has my support to do whatever is safe for her and her environment. Please learn not to generalize too much, it will make your life a little more unpleasant. I know you do so out of caution, but learn to see the grey contours not just the black and white.
Never cleaned the house, managed to mess it up but complained of the pain from her health problems made it too painful to clean it up. It was bad. Like 9 days of the kids breakfast dishes side by side on the kitchen table. I 8767 d have to run the dishwasher three times in a row to catch up on dishes. I measured the clean laundry that needed to be put away in cubic yards (usually about 8). And she never worked a day when she was with me. Bad. quarter million fruit flies in my house bad and I never had a fruit fly problem before in my life save for a couple when I had an old banana on the counter.
Ugh, Black Gold. Single mommy sounds like a real mess. Been there, done that. You sound like you have some common sense, were trying to be understanding and respectful of the kiddos needs, and willing to work with single mommy on stuff. BUT with most single mommies no good deed goes unpunished, as all we decent guys learn. And your single mommy had likely done the same thing to the fathers of her children that she did to you.
Man, I 8767 ve seen so many scenarios like this where mommy had kids with a deadbeat, criminal ex, and still she seeks him out and more like him, even while dating a decent guy. Then the decent guy wises up and kicks her to the curb, yet she acts like the decent guy should 8775 man up 8776 and put up with all her debt, drama, ex garbage etc., like it 8767 s OK for her to chase the ex, and also have a successful guy to pay the bills.
I wish I wasn 8767 t divorced.
I am not saying I played no part in the downturn of the marriage. I have thought so much on how I could have made it different so my son would have his parents together. We both made so many mistakes. My ex says he shoulders more of the burden, but i was certainly not blameless: I was and immature (twelve years his junior) and did not have a good role model. In the end, I wanted to work it out. He turned down counseling, and told me he probably never loved me and I didn 8767 t have the maturity to fight no matter what and earn the love. At the very least, however, I have learned a lot about judging a person earlier on, who I am and what I want, and that things require effort and work and communication.
I think your views are brash and, only by today 8767 s standards, controversial (makes for good blogging I suppose). But, alas, they are transitory views. A narrow mind would believe these trends could continue. The fact that you give gay parents a pass because the children 8775 know their family is different 8776 is laughable it just shows you 8767 re not thinking for yourself 8775 like gay is so totally in right now! 8776
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Further, if you&rsquo re not a kid person or don&rsquo t want kids, you should not date a woman with kids to see if you&rsquo ll change your mind. This is not a video game that you can turn off when you decide you do not like how the game is playing out. That is a personal decision you should figure out long before you involve a woman and her child in your life. Save the games for the rest of the single people in the world who do not have the responsibility of looking out for the emotional well-being of themselves and their child.
If you assume that someone is a good person, husband material or a good father, and quality man based on whether they are physically attractive or not, then you have issues. We need to stop with the assumption that not just all handsome men are good people, but also that all ugly and average looking men are good people. Nothing could be further from the truth. The world isn’t black and white, you assume this because of the media, because of horror stories about finding guys at bars to have sex with. Who’s to say many of these single mothers didn’t go out with trashy looking bad boys on motorcycles and had kids with them? How do you know she didn’t like that scar on his face? Or the fact that he had one arm, women can be attracted to the most unusual things. You think it’s just handsome men they go after? Unless you have met every single mom, handsome guy, ugly guy, average looking guy, and every bad boy and good man on the planet, then you cannot come to the conclusion that they only date handsome jerks.
It’s real. A modern man doesn’t turn up his nose at a woman with some sexual experience who might have learned a trick or two from previous lovers about what men REALLY like, or more likely, she learned how to FIND OUT, but the majority of men would like to see a NEW sign on her uterus. No previous occupants. When a man picks a wife, he wants to know he won’t be competing with some random babydaddy who was there before him.
Also it’s not a bad thing if a woman wants to be physically and sexually attracted to her mate, this is someone that she is spending the rest of her life with. Women should never compromise on someone they aren’t sexually and at least slightly physically attracted to, unless they are one of those open-minded women who magically become and are sexually attracted to someone who is physically unattractive. No they shouldn’t have this mythical list on what a perfect mate looks and acts like, nor should they have a type, I don’t have a mythical list nor a type. But to assume that she should settle for someone who is repulsive looking to her or someone she cannot imagine having sex with, letting caress her, kiss her, even cuddle with her, then that’s just asking for trouble. That’s how divorces happen between couples like that.
These type of women are much better off staying single altogether since many men will never get involved with a woman like this to begin with since they do carry a lot of drama with them. Most of them prefer a man with Mega Bucks anyway since they would obviously need a man to take care of them but will also take advantage of these men that have money which then they will dump these men when they''re done with them and then to move on to the next one unfortunately.
You can''t have unplanned children if sex is planned. Every time you have sex you have the risk of getting pregnant as a woman. So there is no such thing as unplanned children. Of course there are exceptions like The vast, vast, vast majority of single moms are not exceptions. They are choices that they made to have sex. So when you have a child as a woman you made the choice to either have the child or to have sex which has a possibility of creating a child. A child is a choice.
I respect waht you did. I think that single moms should not seriously date anyone new until their kids are old enough and you aren 8767 t needed like that. You could still have sex (i 8767 m sure you still do), but don 8767 t put any new guys through the bullshit of not being a priority and having to take care of someone elses kid and then making it hard for him if he wants to leave you because of the attachment to the kid. This is what happened to someone i hold close and he regrets it.
Ah! a typical feminist drone. All along you were the quintessential woman I suppose.
Right off the bat this 8775 I was tired of being told “fuck you, cunt” if I needed anything at all from him. 8776 is very suspicious and doesn 8767 t tell the full tale and your orgy of generalizations indicates why you would be a very easy catch for the feminists. BTW princesses would find anything and everything denigrating and SUBHUMAN because mere mortals just can 8767 t reach their level.
And as JB states, these women do not really give a damn about their kids. I strived to make the breakup as easy as possible because I was literally the only dad this kid had ever known in her life, and I was happy to continue in that role, even if we were broken up. Once she found a new guy she cut me out of that kids life and probably trash talked me to the extreme. I taught this little girl how to read, how to bank, gave her structure in her life, took her camping. There was a small box of the kids stuff left behind, private things like counselling files and some special stuffed animals. I tried contacting the woman to get the box to her, she wouldn 8767 t even answer my facebook messages.
Fast forward another couple years. In the summer before my senior year at high school I 8767 m told she has fallen in love with a man who lives about 5hr drive away and we would be moving to his town so she could be with him. I ask can this not wait one year so I can graduate with all the friends i have grown up with? 8775 No honey, you wouldn 8767 t understand, but I need to do this for meeeeee 8776