Posted: 2017-10-27 06:44
Well they 8767 re not naturally mutually exclusive. An Asian woman, or any woman, can find men of her own ethnicity/skin color attractive just as much as she finds men of other ethnicities/skin colors attractive. Simply because she likes a man that happens to be white doesn 8767 t mean she can 8767 t like a man that happens to be Asian. This is more subjective than we make it and sometimes we just need to stop projecting our views onto others. IF she genuinely cannot see color or doesn 8767 t care about it then fine, IF she is personally rationalizing her feelings or is trying to seek validation then she knows that in her heart and will have to deal with that burden on her own for the rest of her life. That 8767 s on her and it 8767 s not your issue to have to deal with. There are bigger things to care about life, especially in your own life. Don 8767 t worry about whether other people are being true to their own morals and ethics. If they live lies, then they will have to deal with the consequences. One important thing to note is that she is fully aware that many non-Asian men out there simply want to use her for her body.
But one of the biggest reasons why I wanted to write back to you here is because I don 8767 t think I 8767 m being irrational about this. I 8767 m not suffering from low self esteem. I 8767 m looking at this from a macro, structural level, as I always do as a sociologist. Also, I 8767 m a Sagittarius myself, and I AGREE on the urge to just say, fuck them! I 8767 m great! But being great doesn 8767 t matter. I 8767 m on the brink of becoming a lawyer, I 8767 m a smart person, and I don 8767 t think I 8767 m too bad looking either. But none of that matters when you 8767 re fat, because of the extreme internalization of fat hatred in this society and culture.
Are you seriously complaining about being underprivileged while dumping your misogynistic thoughts on here? I don 8767 t need my boyfriend to help me 8775 glide through society 8776 , I can certainly do so on my own. Women aren 8767 t 8775 stupid 8776 because they choose to date white men – it 8767 s a preference, not discrimination. Is it discriminatory if you choose to only date within your own race (which most people do)? Is it discriminatory to choose not to date transgender women as a straight man? No, because it 8767 s a preference and you can 8767 t help who you 8767 re attracted to. Obviously there are some people who fetishize people of a certain race, but not everyone does that.
I find that women tend to seek outside counsel a lot more than men do. I know that I have checked out a blog or two when it comes to a question I have OR if I am seeking assurance for my assumption. I also find that you can never stop learning and getting a different perspective is never a bad thing. There are things I have learned on blogs et al that have really helped in how I view things. I am sure there are men that do this too, yet, overall women are the dominant seekers of information be it from friends or strangers.
Something so many people seem to forget about self-esteem is that it requires looking in the mirror & being honest with yourself about your strengths & weaknesses. Everyone always says self-esteem comes from within but they fail to mention HOW that 8767 s achieved. When you know your weaknesses, you know what to work on to strengthen them. When you know yourself, truly know yourself, you 8767 re able to find that self love that is essential to a healthy self-esteem.
Historically, East Asians have been far more progressive on this front than whites. Neither China, Korea or Japan has had bans on interracial marriage up until the late 6965s (See Loving v. Virginia). Also, acts such as the Chinese Exclusion Act allowed white males to bring over Chinese brides, but not for Chinese males to marry white brides (Chae Chan Ping v. United States is still considered good law and highly influential to . immigration law, and there was also a version of this act in Canada).
cut your losses and move on. Either you aren 8767 t able to be that person he wants, or he just doesn 8767 t want you anymore. Either way, cut your losses and move on. If you ever get back together with him, he has to come after you, and it sounds like right now that you are on your way to Grovel Town and that just ain 8767 t sexy to anyone. Take whatever crumbs of self esteem you still have and MOOOVE ONNNN!
what she is pointing out with the observation you chose to respond to is the sort of double-speak that is so often uncritically accepted, its the way republicans say poor and you know they mean brown. or they say black and you know they mean uneducated, its not the TRUTH but its their understanding of what those words mean. i myself am a skinny woman, my metabolism is simply high, if i get sick and can´t eat for a day my pants will not fit the next, true story. they will slide off my narrow behind and damn near laugh. because of this, in order to be considered attractive by the conventional male, I DON´T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING. i don´t have to care about what i look like, and especially about my weight. the things i do nothing about already have an external stamp of approval i didn´t ask for. more often than not, its a negative to me. i hate being told i´m only cute cuz of my weight, that my clothes are only look nice on me cuz i´m skinny, it takes just as much away from my individual beauty as it does for the beauty of a larger woman to go unnoticed for the same reasons.
It is a touchy subject and so I try to tread lightly here, but also it’s important to me that I am as helpful as possible to the ’s a difference between someone who aspired to be “sickly-looking-thin” versus someone who is naturally extremely skinny. I have known women who are naturally extremely skinny because that’s just the way that they are. When a woman is naturally built that way, it is not disgusting or nauseating. It’s just her body appreciate your comments (I sincerely do) and I think you brought up some really good points and discussion. so I like this site
Wow, this is great, if this is truly how men think then I am happy, very very happy, it is about time woman realize that a little fat is good, I have never been on a diet, but I must say I worried at one stage if my body was not a problem , my husband had a good looking little girl as a lover, now after this, I will be dressing up more in the dresses and shorts I like , after all who at the age of 97 is perfect and 7 children later is not funny either, anyway thank you for this artical, it is what woman need, well done!
You hit the nail on the head. Thank you for saying what most people don 8767 t want to hear. It is mere fact. Society is visual and being the big girl in the club definitely stands out. Men are physical no matter what. Now Im happily engaged to a wonderful man but I know deep down, it wouldn 8767 t hurt to lose a few pounds and he would love for me to do that. Now he doesn 8767 t tell me but I know men. Truth is, women can say 8766 I love my curves but the truth of the matter is, if you shrink a lil bit, dating choices will surely expand!
I just wanted to applaud you for this piece. You expressed what you had to say in a very logical and respectful way I am a naturally skinny girl (I weigh 695 at 5 8767 8 8798 , size 7 and happy! It 8767 s true that muscle weighs more than fat!) and it 8767 s nice to hear something other than 8775 Gain weight, get some of those big tits! 8776 or.. 8775 Lose 75 lbs, you fat cow 8776 .. Many people think it has to be one extreme or the other, but I think you did a fantastic job praising all the different body types of women!
A *skeptic* turned testimonial?
This has to be the highest compliment I 8767 ve ever received on here. Seriously that 8767 s incredibly flattering and appreciated.
Thanks for the appreciative words and sorry to hear of your breakup and former anorexic struggles.
Your comment made me smile and that 8767 s good karma. Good luck with everything and I 8767 m really glad to have you on my site.
First of all, I applaud your honesty, and I don 8767 t have much to add to what 8767 s already been said but I would encourage you to find your passion and connect to what you love, outside of work and social movements. What makes you feel sexy and desirable as a woman? I 8767 m a dating coach and author of The Curvy Girls Guide to Dating, and the biggest challenge many big women have is finding the passion in their own lives. Because that passion is the the spark that will connect you to someone, that will cause a man to find you attractive.
Oh, boy. What you 8767 ve written feels eerily familiar specifically the anecdote section. There 8767 s nothing left to add. I 8767 ve found myself thinking 8775 If I lose weight, then ___________ 8776 but the truth of the matter is that feels really F 8767 d up. The only answer I 8767 ve come up with is taking good care of myself, eating healthy, exercising and reading material (FA, haes, feminist blogs) that constantly battle the system of patriarchy that tells me and everyone else that a woman is less desirable if she 8767 s 8775 over 8776 weight, natural, and dark-skinned. I probably could lose weight but like most people, I 8767 d just gain it all back. But I can 8767 t be lighter. I 8767 m not getting a perm. I want to get to the point where I really am like, 8775 F you 8776 when someone fails to give me a chance because I 8767 m not what they want me to be.
There are plenty of men who like fat women. However, choosier men like thin women. The studies show that 89 percent of men who have a college education find it important for their partner to be thin and good looking, while among men who have a highschool education or less only 67 percent needed their partner to be thin. So basically if you want a guy that expectd a lot from himself, he will expect a lot from you, and usually they will expect you to be slender. In comparison well educated wealthy men feel that a slender woman is vastly more important then one with money or a education of her own. Its just natural for someone to want a person that doesn 8767 t have rolls of fat around her middle, and thighs that rub. How can that be a good thing? The body isn 8767 t made to be abused like that.
The moment I read this, I knew there would be a lot of conflict in the comments. I 8767 m sure Jessica did as well which is why she decided to post for her own entertainment. And I believe she had the courage to post as herself. Good for you Jessica. Normally, someone who cared for their career would not post a garbage piece like this using their real name, but it seems like you won 8767 t need a career as your boyfriend will help glide you through society.
my intention in pointing this out is not to attack you but to educate. your response displays very little evidence that you you actually connected to what the author was saying, so i saw an opportunity to try and add some understanding. she very clearly stated what she needed from this community, and you very clearly ignored her, intentionally or unintentionally, which is pretty much why she wrote this in the first place as a writer, a human, a survivor and a black person i value open spaces for conversation more than any posession i have and consider it part of my responsibility to protect them. i hope you join the fight.
And like you I treat everyone in a room like they matter. I do not think that I owe it to everyone in the room to flirt with them if I do not find them attractive. The author said she felt slighted because the man flirted with everyone but her. Oh well, he didnt want to put on the charm with her. Call him what you want but he didn 8767 t owe her nthat. He acknowledged her, which is all anyone owes anyone else when spoken to.
As it pertains to your weight, I like the fact that you 8767 re making lifestyle changes because they 8767 re value added to your life, and not to 8766 hook a man. 8767 I believe that we are most attractive when we feel like we 8767 re at our best, regardless of what that looks like. I 8767 m a pretty big dude, and I 8767 m still working with my weight, but I have found that the self-motivation is far more important than any extraneous compulsion. I 8767 m glad you found it sooner rather than later. I wish you all the best in that effort.