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Btw I think this is a story that happens to men quite frequently too: An AC woman lures them in with sex and flattery, quickly moves in (often with the guy paying for everything), her behavior becomes more and more controlling and when he tries to dump her she quickly turns into a stalker. I 8767 ve seen this happen several times. It is clearly abuse. Unfortunately many guys keep quiet about their painful experience because they think they are supposed to be 8775 strong 8776 .
Tips to Identify the Difference Between Love and Lust by
Tired. I go to lunch with one girlfriend at a time, since I like more one-on-one getting togethers. Don 8767 t think you 8767 re alone in going to a pub by yourself. I 8767 m FAR from doing anything that bold. I 8767 ll go to see a movie alone but very reluctant to eat in a restaurant alone. Funny how we have these little ways and can be strong in other respects. When I wrote that post to Wish (and I hope she sees it) I was thinking of you. I 8767 ve been following your progress. You have no idea how happy I for you. I 8767 ve learned a lot my self as I continue to read here. When I was hard on you, I didn 8767 t realize, even though I had gone through my crap, how irrelevant deadlines are. You have really experienced the pain and even though it has taken you quite awhile the important thing is that you 8767 ve gotten there. I am so proud of you for not responding to his feeble efforts to contact you. Let it be and keep moving on. BE HAPPY. Hugs, Tink.
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Tonight I stopped off at my aunt 8767 s, she wasn 8767 t home but my uncle was. He asked me if I have any 8766 prospects 8767 , meaning men to date. I told him I 8767 d given up. He offered to set me up with one of his fellow AA memebers, to which (and I don 8767 t mean to offend anyone) I said, 8775 HELL NO 8776 . Been there, done that, twice. He was dismayed that I 8767 d 8766 given up 8767 . But I 8767 d rather be alone and hanging out with 8766 the girls 8767 than boosting up someone in recovery just to say that I have someone.
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Just a random thought I wish I had added into the article
It 8767 s not that men who lie hate or disrespect women. In most cases, it 8767 s quite the opposite: They love women and never want to be the one who makes a woman cry. So they avoid it at all costs.
And therein comes the appeal of the lying to avoid that uncomfortable situation. Cowardly? Yes, definitely. But that 8767 s the reason.
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It is very interesting when men confirm ones suspicions about this sort of thing, because sometimes it can be hard to believe. You start to think maybe you 8767 re too demanding, inflexible, aggressive, not understanding enough. Cut them some slack and go with the flow. But Nope. It is as Natalie says. Or worse. They are ACs, and EUMs and they know damn well they 8767 re stringing you along. They 8767 re not confused, scared, or in a bad place. They are taking the piss, and giving them another chance = giving them another opportunity to screw you over.
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We 8767 ve only been friends for a about six months, and as his friend I know how much he loves his girlfriend because he told me, and most of his actions demonstrate just that, but from my point of view, I 8767 m starting to feel like some of our conversations and interactions are 8766 crossing the line 8767 , as far as the level of intimacy that I can sustain without triggering my physical attraction to him (it is getting too close to full intimacy) I was having trouble, as we continued to share some deep feelings about ourselves, coupled with our hands reaching for one another unexpectedly on one occasion, and probably too many hugs, rubbing strokes on the back one day by him, and a touch on his leg by me on another day, which caught my attention, but only after I did the deed.
Talk about timely was just thinking about Spring, the semesters end, and how I really need to get out there now that I will not be trapped by bad weather and night classes. On the other hand, I do have major anxiety about having to resort to trying to meet quality men on line after taking a six month break (no healthy choices near here), that time is indeed running out, that some of what my single women colleagues say is true and that I will be stuck alone or having to settle for someone less than, that no one as good looking and educated as the AC was will want me. On the other hand, I think I have learned my BR lessons well, having successfully warded off numerous local marrieds, deadbeats, and other various and sundry wounded birds this region seems to have lots of so I do think I am ready to at least try.
BS. It 8767 s simple. Men (and women, children) lie because they don 8767 t want to get caught doing something they shouldn 8767 t be doing (out did do). It has nothing to do with hurt feelings, drama, etc. It 8767 s simply that they don 8767 t want to be caught. Sadly, most of the people I find doing this ARE men. Yes, women lie, as do children, but neither come CLOSE to the mount of lies men tell.
after me and my ex boyfriend had an arguements and he said goodbye and i replied goodbye too cos i felt insulted and very emotionally and mad..right after,few minutes he unfriended me on his facebook and deleted all those post and pictures i shall i do? all our pictures he hids even our ltest pictures that we took on my IS WHY IM SO UPSETS. if i 8767 ll asked him about facebook he said im making facebook so seriously,whilst he posted his picture with thr MMAring girls and some other hate he said im only making things through my i saw his girls comments and his liked and comments to wanted him to feel how mistakes he is for doing this to me,i wanted him to feel the rejections and makes him to realized and crawling
CTK, go back and read Paola 8767 s comments. He 8767 s too busy. He isn 8767 t going to change. It 8767 s futile. Let it go and keep focusing on you and your MA. That 8767 ll serve you down the road. Some random busy dude? Not so much. Let him be busy. You don 8767 t owe him a thing.
Sometimes when was lonely, I thought maybe he 8767 ll spontaneously combust into the guy I imagined. He didn 8767 t. He just reaped the benefits of my loneliness. Ate dinner, got a shag, and went on about his busy life.
I don 8767 t think it matters if it 8767 s intentional or not. Unintentional can be worse. People who don 8767 t know why they do things are a pain ( I know, having been that way myself). They 8767 re dishonest, unreliable, lie and cheat. When you ask them why, they 8767 re like rabbits in the headlights. They don 8767 t know why so we spend months/years trying to figure it out for them. That 8767 s what makes it such a waste of time.
We are still responsible for what we do, whether or not it 8767 s intentional.
Makes a lot of sense.
I suppose I knew most of what you have said but often looked for other reasons for lying.
One thing that confuses me is why a man tells you he is you he likes you a lot,flatters you,says he misses you etc.
He projects into the future when he speaks as if you will be seeing a lot of him.
He makes plans and promises and doesnt follow through.
He even stops all actions say the opposite of his does he say those things to lead us on?
I feel like this If something happens or is about to happen and you feel you have to lie about it then use good judgement and DONT DO IT! I know a lot of things are situational but as the old saying goes 8775 Honesty is the best policy 8776 When caught in lies you risk more than just trust ,but also respect and possibly a good partner. Everyone deserves to know the truth no matter how ugly or uncomfortable it is.
Digging Deeper. You are wrong to be fantasizing about this guy. You say he has a girlfriend and, by his actions appears to love her. And you also say you don 8767 t think you two are well suited to each other. So where do you think you fit in? Do you want to be Ms. Option? If the first factor doesn 8767 t cause you to drop this nonsense, then certainly the second should. Cut out the dreaming and look for you own man.
You 8767 re on a rocky road, which you may regret later.
thank you 🙂 your words mean a lot and this site has helped me a great deal, in my head im just thinking why o why would we get on so well / he was caring/ kind/ bought me and my son nice gifts/ got along with him great always did nice things for me up until the last time he left, if he didnt mean it :-/ is this normal ac behaviour? he has admitted to having issues from childhood and claims to not want to hurt me further which is why he isnt 8766 with me 8767 , oh and he is almost 86 and still living with his mom, always has!
I have been with a guy for 65 months now. All he seems to ever do is lie to me about smoking and ocasionally other drugs. He has promised so many times to stop and i always hear the same thing coming from his mouth, its actually kind of sickening how many times ive heard the same thing. He has even gotten fired from a job for this and he still continues to do it. Not only does he lie about it but when i always asked he always gets infuriated with me even when he really is lying. Also he will lie to me about who hes with and what exactly hes doing. And whenever i even ask he 8767 ll get upset for acting like a 8775 second parent 8776 by asking who hes with and what hes doing no matter how many people and i talk to and they say that its normal. The lies have been going on for about 7 months and i dont know what to do anymore, he tells me that im the love of his life and that everytime he lies he regrets it so much and that hes so sorry, but yet he still continues to do it? What do i do.
I 8767 ve been following your story and responses all day. Another thing is guys like this have no shame. If someone hadn 8767 t returned my texts in a few days, I would either take a hint or ask if something was wrong. They want to press the RESET BUTTON BIG time and texts like 8775 how is your fine self 8776 serve that purpose to a T!! They want to 8775 charm 8776 us away from remembering how they have really treated us, aka like total CRAP! My ex EUM/AC would do the same thing after months of no contact. He would call me from a mystery number when he knew full well I blocked his number, and when I answered he proceeded to tell me how 8775 cute as hell 8776 I still sounded on the phone. He wanted to disarm me with his so called sweet nature, I was flabbergasted as his lack of shame to think I wanted anything to do with him. He knew my self esteem issues that that kind of statement felt good to me, but we have to see those words for what they truly are. An attempt to reset with us so they never have to live with or own up to their crap behavior. Best of luck I know your pain!!!
you seem to give good advice so I have a question for you. I met these two foreign gorgeous men over doing break and we did hook up. One could tell I like the other guy more and he even mentioned it. before that he had gone on and on about how they played cricket at USC. well I did a little research and they play soccer at a small college near USC. I know it was just spring break and I won 8767 t see them again but part of why it was so fun to be around them how they said they hate liars and arnt like that. now I feel like the memory of a great weekend is ruined with lies. why do u think he said that I was thinking maybe because as an athlete he wasn 8767 t supposed to be partying? someone from break posted a pic of him on the beach onFacebook and it was quickly removed?! or maybe he was trying to impress me? but why cricket? that 8767 s such a stupid sport? I just want to know because it would have been a great memory dispite this lie.
DO NOT waste a second more of your precious dawn-time trying to understand his nonsense by searching the Internet for lame theories about rubber bands. This is the only theory you need to know. Let 8767 s call it the Douchebag Theory. You know that one you suspect a guy is a douchebag, and he goes on and unequivocally proves the theory for you. Your only job from now on is to heed the findings. It 8767 s the science of assclowns. You can 8767 t argue with science. FACT.
If you had some days of pure happiness wonderful! Cherish them, keep them as treasured memories. A good antidote to feeling miserable and powerless is to try to be thankful- not to HIM of course, he gets no credit but just grateful that this kind of happiness is possible and YOU are able to feel it. Life brought you some moments of bliss, and no one can take them from you. If this kind of happiness came your way once, it 8767 s a sign of hope that it can happen again. That was the gift that I took away from my EU experience, which on all other accounts turned out to be a misery. Not a gift from HIM certainly, but a gift I gave myself, to take a chance on feeling something again after many years of post-divorce celibacy and blandness and I did! I discovered that I am still able to love and feel passion and experience moments of utter joy and fulfillment. I 8767 m not dead after all. And I refuse to let him and his crappy EU behavior ruin those memories for me.More images «Dating a girl afraid of commitment test debit»
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