Posted: 2017-11-03 15:41
Now I'd ask that you reconsider your question. If your question was based upon a society of equals who were all knowledgeable, reasonable, autonomous and yet cooperative we could easily reason that people would treat each other with kindness and respect. However we've created a system of inequality in which the common citizen holds little if any power and instead lives by the whims of society at large. This system promotes competition as it is undeniably preferable to gain power and move up the social ladder.
Body Again, it is nice to see you in your Yoga pose, or standing in front of some amazing scenery. However, is you take up only 5% of the photo, we cannot really see you. If you are wearing ugly baggy clothes, we cannot see you. We want to know what to expect when we see you. Show us a full body picture where you can actually see your whole body. Avoid using too many pictures with your friends. Sure, you are super popular, but often times we cannot tell who is who.
So with this man, I can see that he is attracted to me and we talk again now but my gut keeps telling me to just let him set the pace and allow him to move when he is ready. Part of me thinks: that 8767 s not fair! why do I have to sit still and let him show his feelings for me in his time and in his way. He does demonstrate how he feels towards me by being attentive, trying to make me comfortable and expressing his appreciation of me. But he still won 8767 t ask me out. We just see each other in large social groups and have alot of good friends in common.
Seriously, there s not a woman I know in the area that isn t single and looking who doesn t complain that the dating market is weak because men they meet seem to either be gay, taken, of so massively misogynistic that they can t function around women and said women don t want to do all the work, and I know a lot of women working for Google, Facebook, Ubisoft, and other tech and video game companies in various roles never mind all the other professional fields that have high ratios of women.
I am currently on Tinder, and have been for about a month. All of the messages I have received from men have been respectful so far. I'm not sure why, but I'm guessing it has something to do with how I wrote my profile, as well as the pictures I chose to show. My profile is pretty straight forward, without being bitchy. My pictures are tasteful, and there are also some that show I am pretty jacked. I swear that after I have become more buff, men have gotten a ton more respectful. Ridiculous, but true. And no, I don't think I'm special because I'm fit, it is just a physicality.
We understand that you want us to be impressed with your pull-ups, your dead lifts, and your toned shoulder muscles. Your Yoga pose where you hold one leg near your head is awesome just as awesome as every other woman who includes that picture in her profile. While we are certainly body conscious, men don 8767 t really care about what you are doing to get there. We just like the results. Stop posting pictures of your exploits. You just come across like someone who needs external affirmation far too much for our comforts.
So how is it that such an outwardly weird (even creepy) dude hooks in women the way he does? Well for one thing, he is charming as hell and has a wicked sense of humor. His twisted, quirky, adventurous spirit is infectious people who know him have said that he can show them a great time in a way that is 655% unique to him. And unlike all these tiresome pickup-artists and Nice Guys, HE S NOT SHALLOW. He is totally and utterly self-possessed, unafraid of his humanity. Could you ever picture him talking about women as 5 s or 65 s ? He has a keen, incisive, original mind. Watch any interview with him, he can put the most interesting and unexpected spin on things. He sees the world in a completely fascinating way, and that is one of the sexiest qualities a person can have.
Setting all that aside, there s all sorts of mixers and meet-ups in the tech industry and especially in the Bay Area that even without online dating options there s so many things to do that are based around meeting people, including singles only meet-ups and singles adventure clubs based around getting single people together that I just don t buy the idea that there s just no women to be found.
And I can see how it might be annoying to be told to limit your pool to a group where the male/female ratio is so skewed. But that s part of the price of limiting your pool. If you want to restrict yourself to female engineers, and female engineers get more competition, that s the same as limiting yourself to rich women, or really attractive women, or any other group where there will be strong competition.
The idea of letting a man pursue you might sound old-fashioned but consider this: if you 8767 re taking the reigns from the man then you 8767 re missing out on a key part of his personality. A man will show you who he is by how he dates you. The way he communicates with you, and romances you, and tries to impress you. All of those actions give you insight to his personality. If you aggressively pursue him then you run the risk of never seeing all sides of him.
Women want tall, fit, masculine, ambition, big dick, social competence. It's not difficult to figure out. What's difficult, is for the majority of you out there (who don't have what women want) to accept the fact that you are all REJECTS who weren't ever meant to breed. Cut your nuts off. Die. Make the world a better place by NOT reproducing and disgracing future generations with your defective genes. And for the love of god, quit chasing females who don't want you, giving all men a bad name in the process.
I agree Finn. I spent 7 years with a Mormon and couldn't adjust to religious differences, though I gave it a fair shot. We romantically fell in love. His faith put tremendous pressure on us to start a family, and after we married, I found out I couldn't have children based on health reasons. That was the beginning of the end. It was heart-rending. On a dating site I can see when having kids is a deal-breaker for a perspective mate.
As to the creepy responses. Some may be legit creepy but a lot of them are jaded men who know that writing a well thought out response is an utter waste of time for them, especially older men. That said the older men are just living in denial about the reality the women by in large do not want them all. Same for older gay men. Yes it's partly ageism "Ewww he could be my father". But that's because they are an don't understand that really what would you talk about, you pop culture connections would be so out of date for them (unless you luck out with an old soul). Also another reason for short messages is because guys HAVE ALWAYS by in large done it short and sweet. Think about the cheesy pick up lines or conversation starters at a bar. They are not deep probing question that want to know more about why you are in medieval crossbow shooting.
Life is tough after 55 years of age. Over 7/8 of the divorces after age 55 are initiated by the women, as my ex-wife did. So guys, treat her right.. and still hope for the best. I suspect, that once a woman's estrogen drops and the kids have flown the nest, then women's innate sense of maintaining that nest flies away as well. Women naturally become more independent and more critical of whatever it is that they want the husband to do. Funny thing is, I did all the man's kind of work like mowing the lawn and such, and always did the housework stuff like bathrooms and the laundry, but to no avail.
After reading your reply to Chole, I must say it was a heart breaking moment to learn the lesson hard but I hate to see that happens when a man suddenly withdraw himself without any warning signs. I also hate to say as a woman I do not like to be treated this way and nobody does when men treat us poorly and they can act whatever they want and still be able to walk out from the situation. THIS DOES NOT MAKE ANY SENSE AT ALL! Do we women supposed to be treated like craps everytime when men fill us up with excuses? I 8767 ve been following your blog and no offense I do appreciated the advice you gave us everytime. But I can 8767 t help but wondering why men always withdraw themselves without any reasons and don 8767 t they know it hurts us badly???
Men have just as much power in the dating scene as women do, if they only would reframe the interaction in their minds. Don 8767 t see approaching a woman as supplicating or auditioning for the role of 8775 suitor 8776 , see it as evaluating whether she 8767 s someone worth your getting to know. You don 8767 t want to spend time desperately trying to make something happen in order to make her choose you, go out with the idea that you 8767 re trying to decide whether you want to choose them.
Nature didn't takes it's course as it did over years for us to connect over a wire. That just doesn't work, period. She can be however interested if you got a smooth talk and decent pictures. Most of the time a woman is not self aware of what she wants and gets bored with the chat because they thrive on emotion, unlike us men. But in the end you need to be your own man in the real world and become the best version of yourself. Attraction is not a conscious choice, meaning a women can't control to who she is attracted to. Just take care of yourself, read self improvement books. Go buy "Mind lines" from Michael Hall and educate yourself to create a healthy view of the world and stay away from negative news and media.
We could term this "hypergamy" as some commentators do.. which makes the females sound quite like lab rats and gives the (male) commentator a horrendous, vile, disembodied ocularity, but that's not my deal at all. I know that females are smart, informed, and selective, and have strong capacity - in most places, thankfully - to exercise choice about mating habits. Females also possess very strong sex drives and know how to get what they need and want, whether it coincides with the NiceGuy/bf/hubby or - often - not.
Leave him period. Heads up in case its still not
Clear, you 8767 ve been hanging out with a liar. He 8767 s been cheating on you. Has no respect for you or himself. The rest is noise. If you stay your letting the world know you have little self respect and your allowing this immature fool know its ok to keep insulting, abusing, lying, and have sex with his 8775 friend 8776 . Locate the courage your born with and just leave just walk out, no note, call, last with your selfrespect.
It has become clear to me with the passing of the years that my knowledge and understanding are very limited much to my own consternation. However I will do my best to explain the situation as I see it. My answer will likely seem off topic and possibly confusing. Unfortunately the real issue, as is almost always the case with problems we are facing today, exists far beyond the usual scope of answers proffered.