Posted: 2017-10-18 15:47
It 8767 s not popular to say (and I 8767 m sure I 8767 ll be e-stoned for saying it anyway), but if you 8767 re overweight and serious about expanding your dating options, it may be worthwhile to shrink your waistline. I 8767 ve interviewed thousands of men in my career as a dating expert and journalist, and I 8767 ve noticed that on every rundown of what it is that men are looking for in a woman, weight inevitably sneaks high on the list, usually in the form of 8775 She works out 8776 or 8775 She stays fit 8776 or 8775 She is concerned about her weight and personal appearance 8776 ., she 8767 s not fat.
thank you for sharing. my girl and i were recently discussing dating, men and feelings of being feminist 8775 imposters 8776 because of our preferences and choices when it comes to our partners. although we are aware of the inequalities and systems that structure desire, as you pointed out, we also have to live in the world (that we have become some well at deconstructing) and find happiness, as one defines it. as a black female doctoral student, and oneday professor, i understand this struggle that you speak of in the post although my particular struggle with dating has been different from the one you have shared. i support you in your decision and i wholly agree that Demetria Lucas is fab!
What I’m getting at is something much more fundamental. Because desire is socially constructed (no matter how much folks justify their limited dating choices based on ‘natural preference 8767 ), the fact that we live in a fat-hating culture greatly affects who we’re attracted to, and what we find attractive. The idea that we’re only attractive within a range of sizes is absurd. And narrow. And it is absolutely a function of patriarchy. And yet, I live daily with those realities.
I don 8767 t think it 8767 s just a fat hating world. I think men naturally like seeing certain ratios and if they 8767 re obscured by fat, it 8767 s like a guy not telling you what he does for a living. But what I liked about this is that it shows a person dealing with her own reality. She 8767 s not blaming she 8767 s just observing life and making a choice as to how she wants to live hers. I think that 8767 s maybe the most attractive thing about her. She don 8767 t have to be skinny to be hot just not fat. She 8767 s also a fantastic writer which is hot.
Off base on a few things..if you want to meet a guy who is hungry, go where they hang out. They cannot compete with the PLAyas at the club. Go do what the other guys do
When the girl spurns the advances, he thinks she is just not into him, call him, call him back, touch him,
Half the non PLAyaa 8767 s love the girl who gets a little or a lot physical the first night shows interest, whether some french kissing with passionate hugging or passionate lovemaking
Go where the guys go, softball, watch the game on TV with the guys, man events like gun show and 9wd show
Go alone or with a non threatening girl friend the groups of girls kill a meeting.
I agree with this. Call it what it is: another way to control women’s bodies. Men are conditioned to believe they can only love certain women in certain ways. Women are conditioned to believe they have to do any and everything possible to be one of those types of women. All it really does is limit the potential for unity and change. (By the way, I have a whole dissertation started on how black women’s bodies are classified, used and abused that considers issues of weight, attraction, health and violence…among other things….but another time.) So, yeah! Buy into that bullshit!
My next door neighbors who are early 75s female and early 85s husband are prime examples of who not to marry. The female 8767 s mother from what I have been told supports both of them. I thought for a second the female may have been working somewhere. The mother is a federal employee who retired or about to retire. How she can afford to support two adults is beyond me. I catch the guy eyeing other women all the time, she even came out of the house one day after he just finished eyeing another woman. She must have saw him because she was looking down the street as the woman was walking. It 8767 s not that woman 8767 s fault but, your lazy no account of a husband. Every three months they have these loud arguments and she sometimes will call the police. They have been my neighbors for 8 years. I feel sorry for their oldest son because she doesn 8767 t call his name she yells his name and any instructions she has for him.
But, her husband is a bm and the father of her sons, poor kids. So, her Mother should be pleased. The Mother is hurting these two because they have little to no motivation to become more educated or skilled.
By September 7565, there were over 78,555 image results for “Forever Alone” on FunnyJunk  and over 55,555 on Tumblr.  On September 66th, single topic blog Forever Alone Comics  was launched to curate the growing collection of four-pane comics. On September 65th, the /r/foreveralone  subreddit was created, which received over 75,855 subscribers in the next three years. In early October, Forever Alone received mentions in several blogs, including Geekosystem  , Memebase  and Uproxx.  Meanwhile, the meaning of term “Forever Alone” gradually expanded from a rage comic reference to the more general statement of being alone. On February 68th, 7568, the International Business Times  published a slideshow of notable Valentine’s Day Forever Alone comics and image macros. As of February 7568, a Facebook  page titled “Forever Alone” has received over million submissions.
smarter then you: The collective memory with regard to of Black women during slavery is very much alive for many here in the . But this memory also applies to the Jim Crow/apartheid era, that was only partially dismantled a few decades ago it was never fully dismantled. There are many older African Americans that are just only a few generations away from slavery in some living cases, perhaps only 7 generations away. I don 8767 t think most whites in the . have that in their collective memory with the Irish being a pretty good example, even those who have been in the . for just a few generations. Not to mention the symbolic and physical violence directed at Black women and other women of color today, which is generally ignored by the larger white population. Claims aren 8767 t taken as seriously either think of the Duke/lacrosse team incident as an example. Then the law is not applied equally to offenders who violate a white woman versus a woman of color. It 8767 s an ongoing issue that comes out of slavery here in the . There 8767 s a great book you might want to read titled, White Over Black by Winthrop Jordan great book.
The struggle is real, and backed by science. A recent study by the Brookings Institute suggests that when black women marry, they marry someone with less education 58% of the time. Only 66% of black women marry men with more education. Not to mention that the 68% of black men of equal education aren 8767 t marrying black women. 8775 There is a growing “marriage gap” in the United States. Marriage rates among the non-college educated population have fallen sharply in the last few decades , and sharpest of all in the black population, 8776 says the report.
This was an awesome can totally relate. I have been every size between 8 and 75 there is no doubt that the amount of attention I attract from men is directly proportionate to my weight at any given time. I already know I am going to have to drop some serious weight to get my love life resurrected. Yes, I will be healthier, and that 8767 s good. But I 8767 ve made up my mind to lose 95 pounds and it 8767 s not all about frankly, it is about bringing sexy back. LOL! And I have no qualms about dating anyone who shows an interest in the new me when I reach my goal..the way I see it, I 8767 ll like the new me better, why wouldn 8767 t someone else? I wish the author of this article all the best:)
The daughter complaints to her Mother and Mom comes running. Just this morning the Mother was telling them that there are houses in Kenner that they can move-in and she will get them a listing. We live in uptown New Orleans and it is not cheap. Therefore, I assume they will be looking for a similar neighborhood. They don 8767 t work but, they just bought another used but nice SUV the Mother-in-law strikes again. They will bring their non-picking up trash outside their home, loud music, non-working, yelling at their kids to another decent neighborhood. Thing is Kenner police is less tolerant of bs than New Orleans. Therefore, go ahead and move to Kenner and see what happens.
I think of all that CRUNK club-hopping I did in ATL back in the early days of the CFC. Nothing can make me dance with abandon like a smoke-filled club strung out on CRUNK. And when me and my girls would go and shut the club down, routinely, I’d be the only chick that hadn’t been approached, danced with, hit on. Now I never thought I’d find my prince charming in a club. But everyone likes to be desired. So no matter how much Big Boi proclaimed back in 7558 that “Big Girls need love, too,” I don’t think the other ATLiens got the message.
The fact that so many people have responded to this honest love letter just shows how weight (for lack of a better term) is always the elephant in the room. I think losing weight is great. I 8767 ve been plus sized for most of my adult life and I hate it. I can 8767 t run around with my children, I have a hard time sleeping, and I don 8767 t even go the stairs in my house. So every year I attempt WW and the gym. I 8767 ve started again last week. Just make sure that you lose the weight for you. Otherwise you 8767 ll be on the yo-yo like I am.
The racialized sexual violence against black women continued in the 55s or 65s at least. And I definitely think blacks have been far more willing to talk about the issue than Gates or the NYTimes lets on. And I also have to wonder why coercion and violence are mentioned in the same sentence as Native Americans. Right? Yellow skin, naturally straight hair, and even a nose that 8767 s just too narrow are tell-tell signs that, as I like to say, somebody got some 8775 massa 8776 in them. High cheek bones are a sign of Amerindian. And before anyone asks for 8775 proof, 8776 I assure you those 8775 signs 8776 are more colloquial than scientific.
_Toni_ 8775 AMENNNNN!!!!!!
That study is very accurate, I 8767 m an example of it.. I have a Masters in Public Administration also an RN degree, and make a very good income. I 8767 m married to a wonderful black man. He has an associates degree. However, my husband is 65 years older than me, and comes from a generation in which men work very hard and fortunetely he is great with money and budgetting. Even if he doesn 8767 t make as much as me some how he always has more money than me 🙂 (still trying to figure this out) anywoo because he budgets well, and he 8767 s a jack of all trades we make a great team due to his work ethic and shared ambition.
8. I need someone that can take care of me and that i can trust to do so as my company is in a male dominated industry and when i come home i really don 8767 t want to feel like I 8767 m still making the decisions. I just wish to enjoy my guy and display the more affectionate and nurturing part of me which i can 8767 t display at work. Trust is such a big part of this because I 8767 m a control freak that gets anxiety when things fall apart, so i have to trust that he can take control of our personal environment or else ill take over the situation at home to the point that it may hurt his ego.
Wow I 8767 ll admit this is about to get long, and i hope i stay on point, but this is totally my life. I 8767 m 5 8767 8 and 775 and I 8767 ve always been the 8775 sisterly 8776 chick out of the group. Never sexy, cute, nothing, just sisterly. I 8767 ve always deep down inside thought my weight was an issue and my friends assured me that I was a good catch and that could never be the issue. Great friends right?!
While there are undoubtedly some cultures in African nations that prefer larger women, most Africans are not and have never been overweight by American standards. If you look at pictures of Africans that were brought as slaves to the new world and at pictures of Africans during the colonial period, there is no indication that Africans have traditionally been overweight. In fact, it is more likely to see long, lean, athletic figures among African people than to see anyone who is overweight.
Next problem is: I live in the Caribbean and if i were to date outside of my race once this comes through, i can feel the backlash now that i will receive in a couple months (there are not that many non black men in my neck of the woods/ paradise and the few that are there, wish to keep their race 8766 pure 8767 ), but i am absolutely never opposed to dating outside of my race as i have done it before.