Posted: 2017-09-25 01:18
I m a 95yr old woman that s in love with a 87yr old man. We know live together and have been inseperable for the last 7yrs. I met him 65 yrs ago and he has been in love with me since. He always say I have Loved you ever sincew I was 67 yrs old. It s funny how things work when I was going through a very rocky part of my life BOOOM!! My knight and shining armour!!!:)
Thing is my brain is running agead of me and am now thinking what if he does not want children till much later as I want children in the next 7 or 8 years and I would like to get married one day. Part of me thinks just go with the flow and enjoy it but then also part of me thinks am I wasting my time and a hard one as I find him attractive and he is also a nice person .what to do??
The whole ordeal was totally unnecessary and could 8767 ve been avoided if the dude
was the least bit realistic. There were plenty of great Muslim girls at our school who would 8767 ve been a good match for him but he insisted on going after something totally out of his reach and causing himself unnecessary pain. It was like me wanting to fly like Superman, then getting bitter and angry when I jump off a building and hit the sidewalk.
Many immigrant parents tend to disregard the fact that their children are raised in the West, and will, ultimately have some elements of their personality influenced by the West. The evolving identity of Muslims in this country further contributes to the marriage crisis. “My parents seem to have the idea similar to some other Muslims in Western countries that a spouse from their country would be better. Better for whom? Better for me or better for them? Is this preference due to the fact that they feel culture, ethnicity, and religion would be better preserved this way?” questions a single Muslimah.
Impossible attitude to maintain for any length of time and when it ended I FELT SUCH A SENSE OF RELIEF. IT WAS A CRAZY YEAR and I would not recommend having a 78 year age difference intense love affair to anyone. It was very hard for us to stop seeing each other but it had to end. We had to be realistic..there was no future for us as a couple. Miss him very much at times, but I know that we made the right decision to move on.
The problem with these kind of cryptic requests of wanting to marry an American Muslim woman..is that when an American non-white Muslim woman presents herself, she is promptly rejected. The new ism is tribalism with its ignorance and with what other burdens it presents itself. However melanophobia (the fear of the color black) still reigns as number one. Racism is not the correct term to describe discrimination based on skin color since we are all of the human race.
Salam, Sister in Islam, I agree with you that Muslim men are greatly responsible for this mess. I also did those things in my past. I thank Allah for saving me. I believe it 8767 s due to the lack of understanding of Islam. As an Indian i do not know Arabic. Only when i read Quran, translated in my regional language, i came to know about what Allah wants to tell me in His Book. Now i realized that purpose of my life is to live and die for Allah. So my marriage should also be for Allah, i,e. to create and build an Islamic family. If we have love for Allah, If we believe in Him wholeheartedly, we can surely free ourselves from these worldly Muslim men continue to fall prey to their evil temptations, and become a bad example for our Muslim women to follow, then this crisis has the potential to destroy the very structure of Allah save all our Muslim brothers and sisters from hell. Let our Imaan grow just like this ever- expanding universe by the grace of Almighty Allah. That will solve this issue. Ameen.
I am excited to stumble upon this website. I am 57 and a man aged 87 fell for me. I tried to resist because of age difference, but the more I resisted, the more attracted I became to him. He is a wonderful man who has revitalized my love life after six years when I broke up with a dishonest man. Our love seems to be growing by the day and we can t stay away from each other. I did not want to open up my feelings to anyone but this man has showed me that I can love and be loved again.
I actually don 8767 t want to address everything you said point by point, because there is truth in everything you said. It is only that in the aggregate we are left wanting. The only minor quibble I have is that I don 8767 t think divorced or widowed women generally have a harder time than never married women similarly situated. I am sure you have seen them have difficulties (they undoubtedly do), there are just a whole bunch of reasons why already married women have an easier time than never married women after a certain age. This applies to men as well, though men generally have an easier time than women overall anyway regardless of their prior marital history since there are a lot more women who want to marry than men, as you have observed.
American citizen wives swear that the transformation in their Saudi husbands occurs during the transatlantic flight to the Kingdom. There is the universal recollection of approaching Riyadh and witnessing the donning of the black abayas and face veils by the fashionably dressed Saudi women. For many women, the Saudi airport is the first time they see their husband in Arab dress (., the thobe and ghutra ). For those American women reluctant to wear an abaya (the all-encompassing black cloak) and for those Saudi husbands who did not make an issue of the abaya prior to arriving, the intense public scrutiny that starts at the airport—given to a western woman who is accompanying a Saudi male—is usually the catalyst for the eventual covering up. Since the overwhelming majority of American citizen wives never travel to the Kingdom prior to their marriage, they are abruptly catapulted into Saudi society.
Salam. You agree that it 8767 s a test. Please remember what Allah says in Quran about the day of asked them not to catch fish on the day of Allah says He tested them by bringing more fish to the shores on the day of Sabbath. They eventually failed in their test. Now you decide, do you want to fail this test
? If you consider yourself as a modern and progressive woman, and have disregard for Allah 8767 s orders, i have nothing to tell you. But if you believe in Allah and Akhirah, then you know there are ways around. you can either wait for a Muslim man or become a co-wife for a Muslim you decide to marry a non-Muslim it is up to you. But remember happiness or sadness, victory or defeat in this world is temporary because life itself is temporary here. Real happiness and victory are in Jannah where life is eternal. Now you decide whether or not you want Jannah. If you love Allah, you will accept whatever He wants you to do. Remember, a Muslim is the one who submits to the will of Allah.
My man and I have not had physical intimacy. But he makes love to me all the time through his actions. My man can teach some men &ldquo how to make love to a woman without touching her&rdquo and she will fall deeply in love with him. We have been dating for one year. We will not have physical intimacy until the marriage night. Ladies, I truly believe in sexual purity. I have been celibate for 67 years now. I feel so in control and I feel so special that I have saved myself for my soon to be husband. Believe me, he loves it as well. What man doesn&rsquo t want to have a sexual pure (I consider a 67 yr celibacy as a rebirth of sexual purity) woman for his wife that saved it for him? A man that truly and deeply loves you will wait and he will not ask you. This man will court you in a way that no other has ever attempted to court you. He will never put you and him in a situation that will compromise your integrity. This is a God generated love. He gave me the desires of my heart because I am faithful to him. Seek God first in all things, and he will give you the desires of your heart.
And honestly, people just need to learn to let go of gender stereotypes a bit the man shouldn 8767 t be expected to be some sort of walking wallet for the woman its a two-way street here. I am just so sick of this nonsense, it breaks many marriages (both Muslim and non-Muslim) apart. Indeed, studies in the west have found that the biggest determinant of happiness in the marriage is how often the man helps out in the housework. When men help, they have more time to spend with their wife and children, which both wife/children appreciate.
There is not that big of an age difference between the two of you. I think in your case it is timing. She made reference to the fact that she s done raising her family. She had her children at a much age. I myself did not have my child until I was 87, so by the time I was 56, my child was a teenager. It didn t bother me one bit! Don t give up on this woman. You ve had a month s break, so perhaps now is the time to go to her and have a heart to heart talk. I wish you all the luck in the world.
Don 8767 t know why you are linking me to that article because it 8767 s pretty clear that their is an explicit recommendation to marry virgins in the Sunnah and I already explained I personally don 8767 t have a problem with any woman who is widowed, divorced, or even older(although my mom would, being the Desi that she is, and Islamically we must be good to our parents.) I 8767 ll add to the list woman, which is a no brainer because her lack of virginity is no fault of her own.
Anyways, marrying widowed, divorced women may be sunnah, but marrying a virgin is explicitly recommended in more than one place.
The problem is that he wants to have children of his own. It is so important to him that he has worked his whole life preparing for a family. I am disqualified because I can no longer have any children. I have three sons who are 78, 76, and 66. (I am also a grandmother.) After my was born, I had a Tubal Ligation because I knew in my heart that I would eventually be a single mother with 8 children.
In the periods of time till today , she treat me really well and so do I. We share lots of things together. What can I say here, we deeply knew each other. Without my control, I do start fall in love with her I 8767 m starting to miss her when she 8767 s not around, I felt worried if she 8767 s not in a good condition, I love to take care of her all my might. I really don 8767 t know how much and how strong her feelings towards me. What I 8767 m afraid the most, her love towards me is only a normal love to a brother.
I find the argument of 8775 Allah 8767 s 8776 command to be specious. Allah did not command every man to polygamy nor every woman to accept it, he simply allowed it and the verse goes on the say MOST men will not deal with it fairly, so stick with one I love how proponents always make the first part wajib on women, but excuse men from the second part and leave it simply permitted or suggested as it was meant to be. I also love how women 8767 s feelings are dismissed so easily, but must hear constantly about men 8767 s gheerah.
Who knows what we 8767 re doing and I know that I have a huge potential to get hurt. He 8767 s probably going to want kids, I 8767 m done. His career isn 8767 t an option where I live and I can 8767 t move because of my kids. His life and lifestyle would have to completely change in order for us to bs together long-term and that 8767 s not realistic, not to mention unfair. But in the meantime I so enjoy him, time spent with him, he makes mandrel like a million bucks and makes my heart go pitter patter.
Zach, you made me cry. Thanks. So sweet. I am in love with a guy 65 years than me. We have been friends for 6 years. Recently we have been dating. He does not know (I think) how much older than i am than he is i don t want him to know because I am scared that he will reject me. But he does know that i am older but it is something that we never discuss (I don t tell anyone how old I am)-except anyonmously (I am 95 and he is 85). But it makes me insecure and my friends/ family have strict orders not to tell anyone my age (yes I have a problem with this). Any advice is welcome. He is my best friend.