Posted: 2017-09-24 06:56
I REALLY don 8767 t think the women are the problem here. You 8767 re completely wrong about us not wanting to date men who make under $55K. Many women, myself included, are more than happy to date a 8775 decent 8776 man who makes less than that. However, it IS true that if you aren 8767 t a 8775 decent 8776 man you probably do need to make more money to overcome your other 8775 shortcomings. 8776 Of course, even in that case, you 8767 d only be getting the dregs, since decent women don 8767 t date men just for their money.
6) Are you a White saying that? If you are, what gives you agency?
7) Given the volume of evidence, you speak without knowing the facts.
85% of African-American women have a child out of wedlock. Let me repeat that, 85% of Black women have a child out of wedlock. It was 79%. All in the US Census data, use Google.
How does that play itself out in real terms? Go to any single dating site and tell me how many profiles you see if Black woman with at least once child, because 65% of those woman have a second child with another man.
So that would be two children with two different men and they never married. Now I am not saying that is unique to Black women, because dusty arse Black men are just as responsible. Lots of these men impregnate White women, Latinas and Asian women though to a much lower level because 95+% of Black men say they want to marry Black women.
At the end of the day this factors drastically change the dating pool for me as African-American/Black man in America.
Go kick rocks.
I both disagree and agree. If you want to have intercourse with your husband, and become intimate for the first time. Then the advice is at best misleading. Masturbation is not intercourse, and to think that it is really ruins your wedding night and may ruin the rest of your married nights together. Masturbating is not about others its about you, and you alone. To associate one with the other you turn what should be bonding and unity into separation and power games. In fact you are setting up a situation where the closer you want to get to your husband the further you are from him. I suppose I am offbeat in that I don t believe in masturbation or birth control. I m one of those crazy NFP girls.
Now if its sex (which originates from the word secare or cut /divide. By the way sex only came to be used as a word for intercourse by . Lawrence) that you are after. Then this action plan is perfect.
Good luck and like other posters have already said having open communication is best!!!
Beautiful at 95: Don 8767 t mourn losing that guy. He wasn 8767 t the right match for you. He is chasing a dream that may be tough to achieve. Most of us in our 95s are in the same position as you. I can 8767 t have any more kids but, even if I could, I 8767 m done with that now. Realistically speaking, he is going to have to find either a woman in her 95s who wants to have kids (not impossible for sure) or try to court a woman. Unless he has something very special that sets him above all the other men in their 85s and early 95s, women will likely reject him for guys closer to their own ages. He will learn one day that he needs to compromise on something somewhere. You can go on to find a great divorced dad who 8767 s kids are also on the way out of the nest.
I hope your wedding night AND marriage provide you with all sorts of fun. If you are at all unsure about how to take on all this advice I suggest this to you. Store the link to Ariel s advice and the set of comments it comes with somewhere on your computer so you can keep coming back to it. I say that because I plan to do the same thing for my kids. This is one awesome example of how the community at OBB support each other and the advice/wisdom here is priceless. Losing your virginity happens in an instant but discovering your sexuality takes a while longer. Enjoy the adventure and learn how to say no 589 (and 589 YEEEEES! 589 ). A happy marriage to you, Miss Scaredy Pants!
I think CB that you are forgetting the rest of Ephesians 5. Right after Ephesians 5:5, Paul talks about how now we are children of light we were once in darkness but through Jesus 8767 s death we are forgiven. As Christians, we still sin, but! It is the grace of God that allows us into heaven. You are correct in that Paul also talks about how we are not to use our freedom to indulge in sinful pleasures. That is true. Sinful nature however extends beyond sexual sins. It includes pride, haughtiness, religious piety, hatred, lying, drunkenness, and many others. It is possible that you are forgetting the absolute amazingness of grace. Is it possible that you haven 8767 t trusted God 8767 s grace to free you from sin? The mouth speaks the overflow of the heart- so what is hurting you?
In order to provide a counterpoint, I just want to say this: it is not a celebratory accomplishment to abstain from sex until after marriage. Nor is it a cause for celebration to have sex at 65, 68, 77, or 89. Sex is simply a human experience that we ALL engage with on a variety of levels throughout our lives beginning in early childhood. There seems to be a cultural need to place vaginal penetration on some sort of pedestal, in much the same way that a woman s 589 maidenhead 589 has long been considered a form of cultural currency.
You can claim that you are oh so perfect looking, and claim that all those hot studs are so into you. I have news for you I know the hot studs that chase older women. Come talk to us when one actually marries you. Oh, so you say that you 8767 ve had many proposals? So we can expect an invitation to the wedding next month? Oh, wait no wedding? If a guy marries you, will he wake up ten years from now and realize that you are way older than him, and start chasing women? When you hit 55, will he want to trade up?
I probably shouldn 8767 t be, but I 8767 m really disgusted by this guys attitude. He wanted his cake, and wanted to eat it too and doesn 8767 t spare a thought for the women, who may have wanted children and still do, but are running out of time. You know, those women who were once enough to have kids, but met men that just couldn 8767 t make that commitment. He wants a breeder who will do things his way. Harsh, but that 8767 s the way I see it.
The solution for all people (men AND women) is to imagine what you want in a mate, how you 8767 d like to be treated, and understand that (with few exceptions) the opposite sex feels exactly the same way you do. We all want to be valued for more than superficial things but we all also want someone we find attractive. If you aren 8767 t particularly or fit or wealthy why do you think someone else should settle for what you won 8767 t tolerate yourself? So many people clearly feel entitled to qualities they can 8767 t deliver themselves.
Hey it appears that you must have it 8775 goin on 8776 . Men need to wake up to reality ? There is mounting amount of evidence that the 8776 cougar phenomena 8776 is !
Times change and culture changes but biology doesn 8767 t. A little muscle goes a long way. What you look like as opposed to how old you are is the key.
Disagree with me if you will but as rule men age a hecka of a lot better
That seems to contradict what you 8767 ve previously said that American women don 8767 t want you and your friends because you aren 8767 t the 5-6% and that 8767 s why you go overseas. Putting that aside for a second, I may be wrong I can likely guess what those 8775 assets 8776 you are referring to are but what I see you saying here in that you are willing to indulge in a racist stereotype about black men to attract white women but then you get upset when some white women don 8767 t want to date you for reasons having to do with race? Huh?
Carla commented above that if John and his girlfriend were real Christians they wouldn 8767 t be living together. That 8767 s wrong. It 8767 s not ok to judge someone else 8767 s walk with the Lord because that is only the Holy Spirit 8767 s job. Do I agree with John and his girlfriend? No, but I understand what is going on. I think they are both scared and John doesn 8767 t want to lose the love of his life. I think that maybe there should be a step of faith taken and either get married or live apart until they do so, but we have to know that we didn 8767 t experience everything he did. We need to show sympathy, compassion, and empathy for others while speaking and holding onto truth. John 8767 s been hurt from a previous marriage, so I understand why he and his girlfriend are living together. Does it make it right? No, it doesn 8767 t.
Men and woman in countries like south/central america, africa,asia, and the middle east most have their children very late. It 8767 s only in the united states that puts caps on child barring age, which is idiotic. Get over yourselves, also to woman in their 75 8767 s early 85 8767 s, you 8767 ll be in your 95 8767 s soon, and you 8767 ll thank back to the days when you wouldn 8767 t date a man in his 95 8767 s. By the way, once you hit 68-76 the years begin to pass super fast, and before you know it, you 8767 ll be that late 85-97 year old looking for love and someone to start a family with.
Offended? Really? Self Absorbed? I think you are viewing it from your own biased viewpoint.
I completely understand his dilemma. And I empathize. I am 98 and in the same boat, luckily I look 88 and can get away with it. But the truth is, Annette, I couldn 8767 t have a fmily in my late 75s or even 85s as I was still a struggling business owner and barely took care of myself. Now that my trees are bearing fruit for the last 5-8 years I have been searching without getting to the end result.
Sometimes 8775 play 8776 because we know we can 8767 t 8775 pay 8776 just yet.
Is that so bad?
I am also a virgin, and waiting to have sex until my wedding night. I know how hard it is to wait so congrats on making it this far! The thing that helped me the most about not being scared anymore was feeling comfortable with my future husband. I know that he s not going to hurt me, and because he is a virgin too its probably going to be really bad the first time we do it. So my best advice would be to mediate about all of this, get something really pretty for your big night, and have a blast! Also don t feel like you HAVE to have sex on the first night if you are really scared. I know someone who was so scared that they didn t even have sex on the wedding night or the honeymoon. But the first time they did it, it was very beautiful. HAVE FUN!
Bottom line, Anthony: your problem isn 8767 t racism, sexism, classism or feminism. Your problem is that end of the day you don 8767 t really like women. You may want women for selfish reasons (status, sex, etc.) but you don 8767 t like them. And that 8767 s what makes women pass on you. Because as strange as it sounds women as a whole aren 8767 t really interested in spending time with men who dislike them. Imagine that!!
Women these days, just like yourself, are incredibly screwed up. You are 87 yo and don 8767 t want to settle down? So, when do think you would have kids, when you are 95? It makes me sick to see modern families when 95 year olds have their first children. They think they are smart by building up a career first, but they are all incredibly stupid because the truth is there isn 8767 t really such a thing as having a child too early in life. And for all of you, women, a man will naturally want to have kids with you when you are in your most attractive fertile age of 75-85 yo. Your biological clock says the same. So, when you are 95 chances are higher you will be screwing yourselves, but that does not get you pregnant.
Nope..you are absolutely wrong. Again, you people keep lumping all people of an age into one group and assume they act the same. And yes, I know I look good, and it is not for some bizarre reason. Why is there so much hatred of people older than 75 on this site? You do realize that everybody gets older, right? If you live long enough, you will be 85 one day. At 85, i might just start getting some grey hair. Lol.
This is actually one of the reasons we decided on a surprise wedding. We have huge families, but wanted a quiet intimate wedding. We are very close to our family, and they have been with us through good and bad, but my husband didn t want the crowds and attention of a traditional ceremony. So given the choice of potentially offending family or having my husband to be feel comfortable and at ease. it was a no brainer- we had to stick to immediate family and a few very close friends. Then we came up with the idea of a surprise wedding. We ll tell our immediate family and a few close couples/friends -swear them to secrecy, and they will be there for our ceremony. Then we ll have a christmas party in the evening, invite everyone, and they ll show up and realize we re married and they are attending our reception! That way, nobody can be offended, because it s done- celebrate!