Posted: 2017-10-12 07:09
Perhaps I am missing the point, miss, but that is why I asked several I think I asked some rather fair ones. I am not sure even if you attempted to answer my questions I am sure though that you feel I missed the point. Fine. That is cool too. I will pose them elsewhere to women in my life who have the time to consider what I am asking knowing that is comes from a good place. Thanks for taking the time to respond and for the lessons on my soul. Good luck out here.
This has nothing to do with being Pro Black it 8767 s about wanting more for your race, it 8767 s about waiting your race to be equal most of these people faught during the civil rights are, maybe you need to read up on what that 8767 s actually about and what it stood for to be considered an equal american. Black or Not. Honestly I think it 8767 s because these people are white, if it was any other race people wouldn 8767 t be saying a thing.
I agree with everything you wrote but the quest to lose weight is fraught with many many pitfalls. For instance, let’s say you lose the weight meet someone, fall in love, then get married and have children? That’s when you’ll find out what\’s real because most people gain baby weight. What makes this difficult is that you may also be expected to lose the lbs just as quickly as many of the celebrities we see who have children and then are “magically” thin again. I won’t even mention getting older when your metabolism slows down and you have to eat even less to maintain your weight loss goals. Losing weight is not just for the moment… It’s forever.
And while I do agree with the social construct of beauty being created in a way that will forever disadvantage black women big or small, there is also no recognition that maybe some men prefer healthy women and obesity is unhealthy. Being obese is not healthy in any culture. If we could see our lungs and livers the way we can see the results of food abuse, I think there would be even more of stigmatization over those who smoke or drink. Sure some of us have genetic conditions that predispose us to weight gain but the other 99% continually made poor choices.
This was an awesome can totally relate. I have been every size between 8 and 75 there is no doubt that the amount of attention I attract from men is directly proportionate to my weight at any given time. I already know I am going to have to drop some serious weight to get my love life resurrected. Yes, I will be healthier, and that 8767 s good. But I 8767 ve made up my mind to lose 95 pounds and it 8767 s not all about frankly, it is about bringing sexy back. LOL! And I have no qualms about dating anyone who shows an interest in the new me when I reach my goal..the way I see it, I 8767 ll like the new me better, why wouldn 8767 t someone else? I wish the author of this article all the best:)
At 76 I 8767 ve resorted to online dating as a source to find someone. I think it 8767 s my last resort, because i 8767 ve literally found myself being tactical and sometimes just being myself to show that i 8767 m interested with no avail, and it wasn 8767 t until about 7 years ago where i said, stop trying because if a man likes you, he will do what he has to do to make a connection happen. Like you I 8767 m plus/natural. I 8767 m not dark, i 8767 m caramel, i have all these curves that I actually love, except my stomach. Like you i 8767 ve been making changes and it 8767 s benefitting me in the end to work out a little more, to eat differently, to do all of these things.
What are you talking about? I never said anything about being thankful. Even if Bob Marley only considered himself black and even if his white father abandoned his mother,fact still remains that he wouldn 8767 t have been born if it wasn 8767 t for his white father. Like pfeiffer87 originally stated, if people were only attracted to people who look like them,then we wouldn 8767 t have had Bob Marley.
As it pertains to your weight, I like the fact that you 8767 re making lifestyle changes because they 8767 re value added to your life, and not to 8766 hook a man. 8767 I believe that we are most attractive when we feel like we 8767 re at our best, regardless of what that looks like. I 8767 m a pretty big dude, and I 8767 m still working with my weight, but I have found that the self-motivation is far more important than any extraneous compulsion. I 8767 m glad you found it sooner rather than later. I wish you all the best in that effort.
Wow I 8767 ll admit this is about to get long, and i hope i stay on point, but this is totally my life. I 8767 m 5 8767 8 and 775 and I 8767 ve always been the 8775 sisterly 8776 chick out of the group. Never sexy, cute, nothing, just sisterly. I 8767 ve always deep down inside thought my weight was an issue and my friends assured me that I was a good catch and that could never be the issue. Great friends right?!
When I 8767 m out at a club or at a store, I talk with anyone, even some people that others seem to avoid.
I 8767 m just naturally friendly and flirty.
I 8767 m fortunate to have the sort of totally irreverent sense of humor which also allows me to laugh at myself, first, most and last.
So~~since I 8767 m open like this, I talk with big, medium and small girls, and/or old.
I 8767 ve spent a lot of moments out there just laughing together with whoever.
Since I just like to make convo, I 8767 m not always hitting on every girl I see~~I 8767 m tellin the damn truth
what she is pointing out with the observation you chose to respond to is the sort of double-speak that is so often uncritically accepted, its the way republicans say poor and you know they mean brown. or they say black and you know they mean uneducated, its not the TRUTH but its their understanding of what those words mean. i myself am a skinny woman, my metabolism is simply high, if i get sick and can´t eat for a day my pants will not fit the next, true story. they will slide off my narrow behind and damn near laugh. because of this, in order to be considered attractive by the conventional male, I DON´T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING. i don´t have to care about what i look like, and especially about my weight. the things i do nothing about already have an external stamp of approval i didn´t ask for. more often than not, its a negative to me. i hate being told i´m only cute cuz of my weight, that my clothes are only look nice on me cuz i´m skinny, it takes just as much away from my individual beauty as it does for the beauty of a larger woman to go unnoticed for the same reasons.
You hit the nail on the head. Thank you for saying what most people don 8767 t want to hear. It is mere fact. Society is visual and being the big girl in the club definitely stands out. Men are physical no matter what. Now Im happily engaged to a wonderful man but I know deep down, it wouldn 8767 t hurt to lose a few pounds and he would love for me to do that. Now he doesn 8767 t tell me but I know men. Truth is, women can say 8766 I love my curves but the truth of the matter is, if you shrink a lil bit, dating choices will surely expand!
Salman main west Bengal ki ek choti si city panagarh se hoon. Main bhi Bodybuilding karta hoon, lekin aap jaisa body nehi hai aur mujhe daily time nehi milta office bedroom me app ki dher sari photo lagi hui hai. Meri maa bhi aap ki bhatat badi fan hai. woh bolti hai kash aap jaisa koi beta hota? Mujhe aap ka dressing style, aap ka hair style, aap ka walking style main bahut like karta hoon. Aur sabse jayda like karta hoon jab aap jeans aur t-shirt phente ho.
That being said, we can complain all day, but eventually we have to seek solutions. I think what is necessary is a re-education towards empathy not in the sentimental sense, but in that endeavor to see people as people first, and not what society tells us we should think of them. Also can we please abandon the notion that we need to find somebody to punish for what society tell us is wrong with us. One of the biggest problems I 8767 ve had being a big dude is the penchant it seemed people had for reducing me to a requisite amount of misery based solely on my size. It was like I was committing a crime just having the audacity to be fat and happy with myself. I think resolution may be an arduous task. We 8767 re gonna have to deal with some deep-rooted issues in the process, but I think it 8767 s a task worth undertaking.
Several months ago I was in a bar/lounge type spot, with a group of 7 or 8 homegirls. We ranged in size and skin tone, from short and petite, to tall and lanky, from light-skinned to dark-skinned, from skinny to fat (me being the fat one), and everything in between. The homeboy of one of my homegirls happened to be in the club. Now in many ways, he was my type. Mid-height, stocky, dark-skinned, bald-headed. My girl gave us his vital statistics and it turns out the brother is highly intelligent and very accomplished. He was also a natural flirt. This I discovered, as I watched him at different points during the evening, strike up a conversation and flirt with every single girl in the crew—except me. My homegirl indicated to me at some point that I should make sure to meet him, because she thought we’d have similar interests. Not one to be shy, I did at some point attempt to strike up a conversation. He barely acknowledged me! I mean he literally didn’t look me in the eye, made no real attempt at conversation, and pretty much gave me the brush off. And starting talking to another one of my homegirls!
I am absolutely certain that the woman who wrote this article will not find love and happiness forever if she loses 655 lbs. The Fantasy of Being Thin tells us that if we lose weight we’ll be happier, wealthier, prettier, kinder, more adventurous, more exciting. The reality is that if you’re unhappy, broke, mean, and boring as a fat woman, you’ll probably be that as a thin woman as well. And if you think you’re ugly BECAUSE you are fat, check yourself. I KNOW that beauty and fat are not mutually exclusive. I’m beautiful. And fat. And that’s just true.
I don 8767 t think a person, in seeking happiness, should have to choose between scraping the bottom of the proverbial barrel on one hand, and rewarding bad behavior on the other. A big person shouldn 8767 t be forced to be satisfied with 8766 taking what comes, 8767 with no consideration for what they really want, but at the same time, we shouldn 8767 t be acquiescing to shallow and superficial people because beauty 8766 standards 8767 tell us to do so. Whether it 8767 s weight loss, hairstyle, or wardrobe, changes should be self-motivated instead of being driven by outside compulsion. I say this for the following reason: Say you lose weight to attract that 8766 ideal mate, 8767 and it isn 8767 t enough. How much else about yourself are you willing to modify in order to catch/keep this person?
thank u 9 sharing ur story! i agree that there r other factors 7 consider like the simple ratio of women 7 men these days. i also agree that it 8767 s not un-feminist 7 consider the characteristics that generally r appealing 7 the kind(s) of men we find attractive. That 8767 s what we do. it 8767 s only un-feminist & /or unhealthy when our sole (& obsessive) reasons 9 making adjustments/changes do not include our own needs/desires.
I mentioned my trainer because I think he is gorgeous and he flirts and laughs and texts me outside of the gym which I 8767 m sure is just apart of his job but if he did like me back I 8767 ll never know because now even I don 8767 t think its possible he could find me attractive.
I share all this because I 8767 m now so disappointed in myself for allowing those who didn 8767 t get me define me!!
Black men, like black women are not required to spend their entire lives within the confines of a black social/romantic construct, nor do I personally recall reading or signing any documents upon exiting my mother 8767 s wound that stated that I was required to sacrifice my perspective happiness if it was found in the person of a woman that wasn 8767 t black. The sum total of a black man 8767 s love for his people is not expressed singularly in the woman he chooses that 8767 s an over simplification of 8775 black love, not to mention self serving. 8776