Posted: 2017-10-12 16:36
Yeah, online dating sucks. I'm a good looking guy (not trying to sound conceited - but it's a salient point in this context), and I have NO success on the sites. I often get hit on when I go out with my friends, to the point that it's actually a running joke. Yet no girls - I mean none - respond to my messages on dating sites. And my messages are absolutely fine. Never creepy. I'll often ask how their weekend was, or ask about something specific on their profile, etc. Totally normal stuff - yet - responses. It's madness. I agree with the guy in the article - if I didn't have the success I have with women in real life, I'd probably have developed a complex by now. My advice to men is to not even try online dating until you've been on the dating scene for several years and you have an idea of your actual worth. Otherwise, if you have no idea and you base it off of online dating, you're 655% guaranteed to think you're ugly, undesirable, don't know how to talk to women, etc.
However it's the same for me dudes, if you are tall nowadays you're not creepy and slimy, you're creepy and threatening. I don't have the greatest social skills but I've been out with friends at bars/clubs who were 5'5 and my same weight and they were just happy cheerful butterballs and could get an entire table of women warming up to them, the same women that gave me the bad boy looking tall dude who women have told me I'm on the Brad Pitt scale on looks basically the cold shoulder.
The internet is the number one reason for the rise of sexism on the modern age. Women see men for what they are and vice versa. Women ignore most men and clump them all together as pathetic or creeps in broad generalizations and only go for the male model looking profiles. Result is good looking men with professional grade photos and the women willing to have casual sex with them are the only ones getting what they want. Meanwhile other women despise that, the ones that arent interested in casual sex. They see the guys they would want to be with acting like apes because they get an all you can eat buffet while simultaneously ignoring men they could have chemistry with, because meeting people in person is very different from online.
Thank you for sharing your insight and reasoning behind your disinterest in online dating. In regards to myself I have done a lot of work to understand the world in my own fashion as opposed to what I was taught. My dating profile is quite lengthy and is intended to share who I am as a human being in hopes of finding someone that has done similar work. What I have shared of myself also has the benefit of eliminating a lot of potential conflicts that typically arise in conversations with people as part of the process of getting to know one another.
If you are fortunate enough to enter into a dialogue with a woman on one of these dating sites, actually take the time to carefully develop your words so they really express who you are as a person and what you're looking for in a partner. Use humor too -- this isn't a job interview for Pete's sake. But at the same time don't use inappropriate humor -- be cute, but not an idiot. Focus on emotional words -- express how you're feeling about things at the moment. Are you an uncle? Did you just spend your weekend playing with your nieces and nephews and miss them already? Mention that. Are you anxious about something in your life? Excited? Sad? Talk about it -- the more emotion you show to the woman you're chatting with, the more she'll be able to gauge what kind of man you really are.
I am currently on Tinder, and have been for about a month. All of the messages I have received from men have been respectful so far. I'm not sure why, but I'm guessing it has something to do with how I wrote my profile, as well as the pictures I chose to show. My profile is pretty straight forward, without being bitchy. My pictures are tasteful, and there are also some that show I am pretty jacked. I swear that after I have become more buff, men have gotten a ton more respectful. Ridiculous, but true. And no, I don't think I'm special because I'm fit, it is just a physicality.
I'm not messaging guys out of my league. I don't want a guy that's super fit and looks like a movie star. I want a guy that I'm attracted to, but that I'll feel comfortable around. Eventually there would be sex, which won't happen if I'm too self-conscious or if I'm grossed out at the thought. So if I dream up my perfect man, he's going to be a little hefty, he's going to have a receding hairline and his face won't be clean shaven, he's going to wear comic book characters tshirts, he's also not going to be hugely successful, but he'll have his act together, he'll be well educated, and sarcastic, and a little bit dark, and if I were that guy, yeah, I'd date me because I'm pretty sure if I were a guy, this is the guy I'd be. I think perhaps you're reflecting your own insecurities and prejudices on others.
On rare occasions someone has shown a willingness to write something unique. A rare individual that is capable of thinking for themselves and doesn't feel the need to be a carbon copy of what society tells us are our desirable traits. Of the hundreds of profiles I've viewed this past few years I have come across a handful (less than 65 and closer to 5) of women that stand apart from the crowd. That is a very desirable trait in my search.
It's hard to drum up a lot of sympathy for the girl in the article. Yes, I totally get they are getting messaged by jerk guys sending them pictures of their junk, or sending them stupid and worthless messages asking for a hookup. Those can be creepy, and don't often happen in real life. But the other messages of older guys or losers telling them they are "hot"? That stuff happens in real life also. Older pervs hit on women all the time and loser guys hit on women in rl and tell them they are beautiful or attractive. They can handle this stuff in rl but can't handle it online? It's more disturbing for this to happen to them online than in rl? Sorry not buying it.
Ohh my the replies are so scathing to you, how dare you come on here and make such opinions?!? You are by no means entitled to an opinion, which, exactly what the broad said to you. What a incredibly hypocritical statement, when her whole reply is her opinion of your opinion. I guess only women have the right to opine on anything. Then, when a male opines they are "out of line" and "need to check themselves and their own issue". Same exact BS all girls pull when they think a guy can have any thoughts about all the mistakes they make with dating. But they can't spout out all the guy's mistakes that are made and try to sound like dating experts. Just shut up, your "opinions" are no more relevant than anyone's.
Prosecutors in Kiev want to question Mr Manafort and say they have requested the assistance of James Comey, the director of the FBI, which is carrying out its own investigation into Russian links. The Poroshenko government would prefer this was not pursued, it is believed, so as not to further fray relations with the Trump team. But the prosecutors, who have been accused of covering up corruption by, among others, EU officials, are keen to show they are active and autonomous.
Pearl Harbor and the invasion of South-east Asia showcased Japan at its best - capable of massive daring and painstaking preparation. Operationally brilliant, the attack was nonetheless strategically disastrous. Never again would Japan have the opportunity to act with such forethought and planning. It got itself the short term breathing space it wanted, but also a war against both Britain and America. To invite such confrontation was the result of courage, optimism and (possibly) madness on a massive scale. Japan lost. Faced with American military and economic might, it could never really win. So why all the conspiracy theories? Maybe because some just cannot accept that on the day, in round one, their boys were beaten by the better team.
Now I'd ask that you reconsider your question. If your question was based upon a society of equals who were all knowledgeable, reasonable, autonomous and yet cooperative we could easily reason that people would treat each other with kindness and respect. However we've created a system of inequality in which the common citizen holds little if any power and instead lives by the whims of society at large. This system promotes competition as it is undeniably preferable to gain power and move up the social ladder.
What I learned from carrying out an interview of a female and the interview of a male trying to dig into this intriguing subject was that using the Internet for dating is equally painful for men and for women, but for very different reasons. Ironically enough, if you could take the best of those women and the best of those men, and place them in a big room where they could sit at a table and ask each other questions in person &ndash you&rsquo d probably have 9 or 5 new match-ups by the end of the night.
I read a study that says women are more picky than men. They fall for the bad boys and think they can change them for the better. In the end, they get their hearts broken because they didn't change. Again, studies has proven that dating bad boy's never ever work out. By the time they get older and wiser and go after the nice guy that they blew off. They nice guys end up blow them off. Or is taken. So in the end. To me, both sexes need to relax and stop playing the games and act like mature adults if they're any more left out there
Im tall athletic handsome smart active dont smoke dont do drugs have a Masters degree..none of that matters...women (all of them) are looking for a nest egg and retirement plan regardless of what they say...they ALL want to be wined and dined and jetsetted all over the world. American women are a mans worst nitemare oh yea..ive heard and seen it all. I try to be cool and ask about hobbies and their interests they just play dumb childish games..I hate women now I loathe and despise them..what a waste of tiime and energy online dating is lmao!!!
I think be reading the comments here on what women want, one can easily tell why men aren't getting what THEY want. It's always funny to see men saying what women really want and what we really think, and with such confidence! Oh, the laughs. Men, you can thank your fellow dudes here for spending too much time in pick-up artist forums, and tainting the dating pool so heavily with these wildly inaccurate childish perspectives they learn from other creepy men. Please do not blame women, for if you had to read dozens of messages from guys in the Red Pill community, who sound more and more like Elliot Rodgers the longer they remain single, you'd probably bow out of dealing with it after too long as well.
In the old days,people just met partners I. School, at church or at work and found a way to make it work. Now you have a seemingly unlimited supply of partners. Even when you find one that is good enough, the current societal conditioning not to settle for anything for the best, or 'the one' just means the search continues. The 'top ' as in the most desirable of both sexes on these sites go on dates upon dates and most of them never quite find what they are looking for. Making us all a little more shallower as a whole.
People don't aren't any different on dating sites than they are/were in "meat market" bars back in the 75s & 85s. Nice guys never had a chance because they were perceived as wimps. Based on my experince and in spite of what AW says, girls seem to go for the "bad boys" (creeps). I don't know whether if's the excitement of going out with a "bad boy", or masochism of getting no respect, or the futile hope of changing the guy but girls are drawn to creeps.
I think that a large part of the problem with online dating is how we view ourselves and others. The vast majority of profiles I've seen read like job applications. It seems as if a healthy smattering of keywords is all that is required to share who we are as individuals. The majority of profiles are as similar as mainstream medias concept of beauty. In the end there isn't much to differentiate one profile from another.