Posted: 2017-10-12 14:43
Third: slow your roll. A lot of people speak far too quickly under normal circumstances myself included. It may be regional people from Manhattan, the outer boroughs and New Jersey, for example it may be an extroverted trait, or it may simply be that your brain runs faster than your mouth and you 8767 re forever playing catch-up as your thoughts rocket along. Speaking for myself: I start talking faster the more excited (or nervous) I get when I get on a roll, I can give the Micro-Machines guy 6 a run for his money.
Franklin s advice placed his enemies in the position of being learned experts (by them possessing books he did not have) and were likely the sort that enjoyed that position (since they owned many books in a time when most people only owned a Bible if that). Some people would feel very good about being seen as knowledgeable and have a warm impression of the book borrower. Others would worry that they would never see their book again and be annoyed that he asked to borrow it. The key is being attuned to the person you are interacting with.
Now, admittedly, human psychology is complex and depression and other emotional disorders aren t always logical. So maybe I m completely off-base. But, again, speaking from my non-medical perspective, I d want to get at the head of that rather than just treating the tail. And given how much of meaning in human interaction is conveyed through things other than the literal meaning of words, if I were missing that half of the equation, it would be hard as hell to be comfortable or happy or not feel lonely.
You win a prize if the score at the end of a quarter (not counting the tens column) is the same as your combination of numbers. Let 8767 s say you have the block that has 5 for the Seahawks, and 5 for the Patriots. At the end of the first quarter, you won a certain amount of money, because the score at the end of the first quarter was 5-5. The lucky person with 9-9 won twice this year, because the score was 69-69 at halftime, and 69-79 at the end of the third quarter. (Some higher-money pools have more complicated prizes, awarded every time the score changes instead of at the end of each quarter, etc. But that 8767 s the basic setup.)
OMG, I can t stress the validation thing highly enough. I have seen so many of my nerdy guy friends lose their crush s interest within the first damn conversation because the girl, normally after some prompting, will trot out an anecdote or a fact about themselves, or they might even go so far as to share a frustration they ve had that day, and my friend, rather than saying gosh, that sucks or I understand what you mean or even Hey, I had that too! what do they come out with instead?
I m becoming more and more convinced of this as my financial situation and my emotional situation continue to deteriorate, I m noting a direct tracking with how many fewer people get in touch with me, I haven t got anything for them to beg or borrow or con me out of, and I haven t got any emotional energy for them to leach either. So I m not useful to them, they don t communicate with me.
I didn 8767 t mean to imply that changing jobs is going to be the silver bullet solution for rebuilding the OP 8767 s marriage. But it may be easier to rebuild trust if the husband isn 8767 t interacting with his ex on a regular basis. After his history of lying about her, the ex has probably become a trigger for the OP 8767 s insecurity. And being mistrusting of her husband 8767 s continued interactions with his ex doesn 8767 t mean that the OP is going to automatically be suspicious of every woman he encounters.
In this way, I have collected enough stories to entertain them for the rest of my life (and I m still collecting). I also tell the family stories my own elders told me (like about my dignified banker great-grandfather, who walked to work wearing his high silk hat and spats, whose dignified image was completely spoiled because the children s pet duck always followed him to work, three steps behind, quacking all the way).
Incidentally, what you describe about your body language sounds like the kind of non-verbal cues used by people when they re hostile and quick to form negative judgements. And from what you say here, it seems like if we met in person, you would be likely to treat me with hostility and make negative judgements about me. I m not saying this to pick a fight or be mean, because I do enjoy talking to you here, but it sounds like your non-verbal cues would correctly tell me I d do better to avoid you, because the way you treat me like an idiot or a horrible person whenever my perspective differs from yours is not something I would put up with in person.
I m not talking about excusing people who are breaking real societal taboos and acting in an impolite and uncivil manner.. say blocking your exit or putting their hands on you.. those I understand as bad.. but I think you can see just from our two totally different interpretations of what showing teeth means as to how variable body language interpretation can be. I think that people who allow their animal brain to dictate how they react to people based on body language are just that, animals, they are pulling their hand out of the nerve induction box.. but me, even though every part of my instinct is telling me to recoil when someone smiles at me.. I stick it out in order to try and be polite and social.
But you approach other peoples perspectives with the assumption that if they think differently from you, it can only be that they are too lucky and too stupid to understand that life can be really really hard. It would really help if you could start by assuming that there s a chance that a person who disagrees with you is a whole and reasonable human who has experienced some of the variety of life and is capable of forming intelligent conclusions about it that there s a chance that you re not the only one taking reality into consideration, that there s a chance they could have a point, even if you don t see it or don t agree with it.
Well, I wasn t even talking about people who could just google something. I get that people asking for help in classes usually do need help. However, I don t think they should expect more successful classmates to give it to them if those classmates didn t volunteer to do so. It is very much like reboot s example of asking a doctor friend for medical advice all the time. And it takes away from the time they can spend on their own work.
It sounds like she has issues for sure but having witnessed and experienced a little bit of what being lied to, betrayed, abused emotionally and then can do to a person I think the humane thing for you to do would be to show her kindness, and then peacefully assert your boundaries and stated that she may not call you again. Perhaps explain that if she calls again you will need to report her to police or someone who can assess her mental capacity.
One of the best parts of it, for me, is while it s clear throughout that the Dark side does not have people s best interests in mind, and that it would be Very Bad if they won, as the series progresses it starts pitting human compassion against the absolutism of the Light, and the main character and the other (human) children that he frequently allies with or has to protect often have to deal with clueless adults, but just as you re getting used to that perspective, he has a conversation with one such adult, who ends up being the one who makes the choice that ultimately saves the world, because of lived experience, and mature compassion, and understanding gray areas.
I don t think people who have desirable qualities that I admire are better than me. I think they are cool people that I want to get to know. They might have qualities that are better than my qualities, they might be a better dancer or singer or whatever. But I don t feel inherently inferior to them. As such, I am flattered not because their attention to me elevates me, but rather it s really great to learn that someone I respect respects me back. I m also flattered when someone who isn t at my particular point in my career, so a new writer for example, chooses to ask me for advice because that means that person thinks I have good advice to give.
Most phones have a way to call ICE numbers without unlocking the phone, but unfortunately they 8767 re often not intuitive. On my Samsung Galaxy, if you hit the Emergency Call button on the lock screen, it takes you to a dialer screen. Below the keypad are three buttons the center is the Call button, the right is the Backspace button, and the left is a silhouette/bust with a lightbulb/siren looking thing next to it. If you click the silhouette/bust/siren picture, it displays contacts in the phone marked as ICE and allows them to be dialed from the emergency call screen without unlocking the phone.
In the situation you describe with your friends, I don t understand why their advice bothers you if you are just theoretically discussing dating and socialization. If it s really just a discussion that is springing from a particular experience you had, then their advice should be along the lines of well, I would do blah. If it s a discussion, you need to take their contribution with respect, even if it sounds like advice. Some people just don t like discussing their issues, so that can make for a difficult back and forth. If you are actually engaging in a discussion, then your friends aren t giving you advice, they re contributing to the discussion. If you are definitely getting advice from them, then you re not phrasing the question right. Say something like I m not really interested in talking about what I should do, I just want to hear your opinion on this situation and what it means?
I know you think that by my saying An awesome person wants my advice and that makes me feel good that that means I think that person is above me on a social tier, even despite my explanation above. So I guess there isn t much more I can say on that subject except to insist that I don t, and hope that instead of you assuming you know me better than I know me (just as you hate when people claim to know you better than you know you) you can trust that despite you not understanding my point (which quite frankly maybe I m not articulating well, maybe it s an issue of poor word choice as opposed to being a hypocrite) you can believe that this is how I live my life and that that s cool and that we re different and that that s also cool.
Strangers don t need me to be genuine. Me being authentic to strangers makes absolutely no moral sense. I smile and say my day is good to the cashier, even if it s shit, because there is no reason to impose my need for authenticity on her. My desire for authenticity is not related to every human being, so I have no problems with social niceties or trickery to strangers, mere acquaintances, or people who are distantly socially related (parents of my partner, friends of friends.)
Unfortunately though, you would be wrong to assume that I would have a reason to respect someone just because they have a PhD behind their name or published some papers. I actually have a fairly low opinion of a lot of social scientists, and cognitive scientists, (Ironic I know) because they tend to latch onto theories and process which are outdated, and then steadfastly refuse to let go of them when those methods are largely disproven. You can see it with Evo-Psych and Geographical Determinism all throughout the Anthropology field.. Jared Diamond s entire career is basically based on it.. yet his ideas are just about as sensationalist and easily shown to be inaccurate as Graham Hancock. One need only see the extreme staying power of Freud in literary criticism.. even though he s basically been completely superceded.. the new people just don t provide as many pithy phrases.