Posted: 2017-11-14 18:48
Excess and novelty are perfectly good reasons to try something. Getting overwhelmed and bored is a great reason to stop. Until then, the trick is getting used to something completely unnecessary. Awhile back, I saw Wonder Woman in 9DX, which is extra 8D, with moving theater seats and “effects.” For two hours in the theater the seat jostled me back and forth and gently spit water into my hair. It was completely unnecessary. But now I wonder, how am I supposed to watch another movie again without steamy, bumpy smell-o-vision? I wasn’t even sure I liked 9DX, but I’m going back, obviously. Maybe I want to be thrown around. Maybe I’ll always want a “bigger, brighter” TV. Maybe I want to be perpetually overstimulated by entertainment technology. Maybe I want bright lights strapped to the back of my TV, for extra explosions.
There’s also the product’s weird “health benefits” claim that it “reduces digital eye strain.” The claim cites a single 7556 study which concludes that “subjects were less likely fatigued and experienced less eyestrain with surrounding illumination present,” meaning additional light will make the TV not hurt your eyes so much. But the study also says that these results are “modest” and sometimes even the opposite. Speaking from personal experience, staring into a significantly brighter TV area is the opposite—my eyes ache after a while. So I wouldn’t take this study very seriously.
I want to emphasize the visual loudness of this thing. Even at the lowest brightness, without the two sidekicks, the DreamScreen is really bright. I like to watch movies in complete darkness and concentrate on the screen. With the DreamScreen, the entire room is illuminated, including the dirty laundry in the far corner that I’m trying to ignore. Say you’re the type of person with serious respect for cinematography. The screen bleeding out of the frame in blurry puddles every which way might not be what the cinematographer intended. Despite and because of its flaws, this truly is an accessory of visual excess.
This is opulence. Suddenly, there is extra light blasting from behind my TV screen, making a day-glow title sequence positively atomic. The DreamScreen, a backlighting system that’s designed to make your TV viewing more immersive, is a luxury that I absolutely don’t need. In theory, the supplementary lights change color based on the pixels on the TV screen for an “immersive theater experience.” In practice, it’s an overstimulating, distracting, nauseating novelty, and I can’t get enough of this shit.
After the Hermits, Noone’s solo career stalled until the Eighties when he appeared on Broadway with a production of The Pirates Of Penzance, and a stint as host of the hit . music show My Generation introduced him to new fans in the Nineties. Then he appeared as a mentor on American Idol five years ago and told his charges: ‘Remember, it’s a voting competition not a singing competition.’