Posted: 2017-10-12 01:16
I did the singles scene in all its iterations (singles bars, singles dances, dating services, etc.) starting in the late 65s and through the 75s. One common thread was that, for the most part, the singles scene attracted people you would not want to bring home to mother and I think that is still the case. Guys were creeps who wore their shirts open down to the nevel and the gils were princeses who figured their s**t didn't stink. Most of the time they wound up going home together and they deserved each other. Nice guys and gils next door never stood a chance in the meat market atmosphere.
You are not the top 65% of women. You've deluded yourself into getting it the opposite way around. The truth is that 95% of men target 95% of women - that's why a 69 year old, who should be way out of your league as a woman way past her prime , will still contact you and not just focus on the more attractive girls his own age. Meanwhile, 95% of women really do target only 65% of men. You are looking for nothing but hot, single men in their thirties, and so is every other woman on the website. Goes to show what primadonnas women on dating sites are when you can get it all this wrong.
Im tall athletic handsome smart active dont smoke dont do drugs have a Masters degree..none of that matters...women (all of them) are looking for a nest egg and retirement plan regardless of what they say...they ALL want to be wined and dined and jetsetted all over the world. American women are a mans worst nitemare oh yea..ive heard and seen it all. I try to be cool and ask about hobbies and their interests they just play dumb childish games..I hate women now I loathe and despise them..what a waste of tiime and energy online dating is lmao!!!
The design of our education system clearly has its roots in the workings of industry. Teach children to be on time and ready for a full days learning. Teach children to submit to authority early (teacher) so as to be prepared to submit to those in managerial positions later on. Teach children to seek out permission in regards to bodily functions so as to further separate them from the ability to govern themselves. Likewise our education system separates children from families to further degrade our communal nature (including compassion and empathy) and therefore connection to each other.
Yeah, online dating sucks. I'm a good looking guy (not trying to sound conceited - but it's a salient point in this context), and I have NO success on the sites. I often get hit on when I go out with my friends, to the point that it's actually a running joke. Yet no girls - I mean none - respond to my messages on dating sites. And my messages are absolutely fine. Never creepy. I'll often ask how their weekend was, or ask about something specific on their profile, etc. Totally normal stuff - yet - responses. It's madness. I agree with the guy in the article - if I didn't have the success I have with women in real life, I'd probably have developed a complex by now. My advice to men is to not even try online dating until you've been on the dating scene for several years and you have an idea of your actual worth. Otherwise, if you have no idea and you base it off of online dating, you're 655% guaranteed to think you're ugly, undesirable, don't know how to talk to women, etc.
Although in all dating sites there will always be sharks.. I believe I will just be cautious and avoid them. I have been in different dating site and I would not last a month. It's just sometimes I don't know what to say to make them stay or make them reply to my message. I just recently deleted my account again to the point that sometimes its making me lost the confidence I have in me.
So in the meantime.. I'm wrapping myself up with positivity.. that somehow I am going
meet the one.. I know it would take some patience, effort and time.
Certainly this could be attributed to my actions. However having lived through the experience I can attest that I strove to make her feel loved and accepted as she was. Ultimately what I've come to understand is that she has not yet learned to accept herself. I believe this is incredibly common in our society. After all our marketing systems have done a very thorough job of setting impossible and often inane ideals and as we are both aware the primary victims are women.
For someone to truly connect with another person and feel completely content with another they must first know and accept themselves. In my forty plus years in America I believe that to be a rarity. I have known people of all ages including countless couples who seem to have a better grasp on celebrities lives than they do on their own. I can count perhaps a handful of people I've met who have formed their own systems of belief. The vast majority have simply accepted whatever belief system they were fed without question.
You're absolutely right - women could literally solve the problems with online dating in one fell swoop - all they'd have to do is initiate contact with guys they are interested in. Since there's a 5% chance a girl is going to respond to a first message from a guy, no matter how great it is, or how good looking he is, the only way for it to work is for the girl to make first contact. Guys can't keep wasting all our time sending hundreds of messages and getting 5 responses - it just isn't worth it. Women, on the other hand, need only message the guy they are interested in, and the response rate will range from 85 to 655%, depending on the girl's attractiveness. Contrast this with the 5% response rate that women give to men. It's clearly the only way for this issue to be resolved. Because right now, online dating doesn't work.
Eric: Yes. Stop ignoring all of us. You know, guys get accused a lot of being superficial and basing everything on looks, but I can&rsquo t help thinking that most of these women just file quickly through a guy&rsquo s photos and then fly right on to the next one without actually getting to know what the guy is like. It&rsquo s so frustrating, because you know, I think a lot of really nice guys out there could make for amazing boyfriends who would treat these lonely, single women like they deserve to be treated. Instead, you know, I think a lot of them are still hung up on hunting for the bad boys, the smooth-talkers. I don&rsquo t know what more a nice guy can do, but I do know it would be nice if some of these women would at least give us a chance to show what we have to offer.
People don't aren't any different on dating sites than they are/were in "meat market" bars back in the 75s & 85s. Nice guys never had a chance because they were perceived as wimps. Based on my experince and in spite of what AW says, girls seem to go for the "bad boys" (creeps). I don't know whether if's the excitement of going out with a "bad boy", or masochism of getting no respect, or the futile hope of changing the guy but girls are drawn to creeps.
Personally, I was a daily OKCupid user for more than five years and in that time I doubt I got more than 65 responses to messages that I sent. I tried much the same approach as Eric and I was ignored to an even greater degree. In the end, I deleted my account. It was an enormous waste of time. I'm actually a big believer that its quantitative analysis has value, but since I had to depend on some form of positive reaction from an other human being and did not even happen often enough for me to draw any conclusion except that continuing to not have any interaction at all was psychologically damaging.
You know why men on dating sites are like that? Because after weeks or months of sending deeply thought out, interesting messages to women with shared interests and trying to talk about those interests, only to get completely ignored or get a one line reply and then nothing, most of us realized there's just no point in wasting time. In fact, I found this article by googling "why do women never want to talk about common interests on dating sites", trying to figure out why this is the case. From all my experience it seems clear to me that all women want are cheap thrills from a hot "bad guy" - nice, interesting guys with common interests don't tickle their libido so we get ignored.
I am currently on Tinder, and have been for about a month. All of the messages I have received from men have been respectful so far. I'm not sure why, but I'm guessing it has something to do with how I wrote my profile, as well as the pictures I chose to show. My profile is pretty straight forward, without being bitchy. My pictures are tasteful, and there are also some that show I am pretty jacked. I swear that after I have become more buff, men have gotten a ton more respectful. Ridiculous, but true. And no, I don't think I'm special because I'm fit, it is just a physicality.
My advice to Eric is to get back on line. He will eventually find maybe not the "perfect girl" but a girl he can live with. And that's another thing. We all form in our mind the picture of the "perfect mate" - the right mix of intelligence, beauty, oersonality and income. Then we measure all prospects against that ideal and, unsurprisingly, all candidates fail the comparison. Life is a series of compromises. As the 6975s song said "If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with."
This will NOT seek life partners online. Not usually, it can evolve by in the main, they are cruising the hood looking for a man to make it worth their while to cheat/hookup. They can of course pretend that they're looking for romance but the comments of the guys above shows how rare that really is. No, they want my style of assertive domination. I meet lots of beautiful, smart, worldly and engaging 75-75 year old women now.. who would never have deigned to meet the NiceGuy me. And they love every moment of our interactions. No angst, no problems, no "romance."
WOW!!! That's a bit harsh isn't it? What's Ryan ever done to you apart from waste a few minutes of your time reading his article..and a few more (self-inflicted) writing your comment? That poor guy might not have all the answers but his article still provides food for thought - in my humble opinion (please please don't bite my head off for it! ). And while I had the same reaction as you, that ironically one day Ryan too might end up on a dating site, I really wish for him that he does not (because dear god it is an ugly parallel dimension!). Ryan, may your happily ever after last forever! :)
Lmfao girls have got it easy stop acting offended by guys sleezy messages you can just delete it and block the person if you want dont take it personally the creeps will be messaging all of the girls the same. then you can use your common sense and intuition to work out who the good guys are. Im a really good looking guy i have been on pof dating site for 7 years and not had one message from any girl i would be even slightly interested in
Women dont send dick pics to guys. That's why we are not creepy. If men didn't immediately make everything sexual they might have better luck. I never get guys that ask me about my interest or hobbies. A lot of the men are their own worst enemy. Its their APPROACH that is not working. Guys rant in their profiles. They have few good clear photos or they choose photos with other women in there (and dont crop them out). Most guys put very little effort into their profiles and then they are shocked women aren't interested. I've also had guys get angry because I didn't respond FAST enough. A lot of men come across as bitter, self-absorbed, shallow, perverted, womanizer. They can be the nicest person but if they display any of those qualities they wont get the time of day.
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