Posted: 2017-09-25 10:35
To be fair, I have never REALLY liked a guy, because none have gotten close enough to me. The few that did moved on by the time my feelings came around. Most likely, they thought I would never like them and remained oblivious to my cues. But then again, there s always that chance that they never liked me at all. Few men in general have made the effort to get closer to me in the first place. Most, if not all of my friends were and are girls. I am not loud or opinionated. I am the exact opposite- Very introverted, feminine, polite. Because I m so sensitive, I try to be tactful. I use wit as a way to lighten the mood, even if it means making fun of myself. So I m not THAT serious, and I love chivalry.
Long story short, at least for me, it is really, really not worth it to initiate. Heck, it isn t really worth it to show an exaggerated amount of attention, because it means I ll get used for an ego stroke.
And can t this true for men as well? And yet, men are still expected to be the ones to always initiate If, as you say, NG have a mindset of desperation, don t you think that mindset would be fixed by pursuing them more, not less? Otherwise, the mindset of desperation you complain about is a direct result of your reluctance to intitate.
Argh The list doesn t end there. I ve always sexually assertive, I never played mind games with men I let them know very quickly if I was interested or not, and I didn t have them fooling around me without hope. Fair is fair, isn t it? But no, they all pick less intimidating women along the way Sometimes they may come back and tell you they regret it, but the damage is done.
I m sorry to say that it doesn t get any better with age I could be a poster girl when it comes to be an intimidating woman I was a tomboy well into my teens, I didn t have much of a female role model while growing into womanhood, I got an engineering degree at 76, had to pick a guy and ask him to take my virginity, eventually he dumped me for more traditional girl.
This article is gross and it is full of contradictions, I stumbled on it while looking for something else Ladies kudos to you for being interesting, don t dumb it down or mask your awesomeness for anyone. There is someone(s) for everyone, why would you want to be with anyone who doesn t think you are as totally amazing just as you are- even if you are loud and opinionated and have zero people skills. I have met men who don t get me at all, and men who would lay down and die for me mostly the latter because being yourself is incredibly attractive to men I don t compromise who I am for anyone. Accepting that you are not everyone s favorite meal is the best thing you can do for yourself -then move on and be the best you, you can be.
And not for a lack of trying, mind you. She’s done it all dating sites , meeting guys at cons, the comic store, chatting up friends from class and at work. And yet, Friday still remains the most lonely night of the week when she sees all of the happy, laughing couples making plans, having romantic dinners and enjoying all the sex while she’s at home with Fringe on the DVR and a bottle of Malbec breathing in the kitchen.
That s just bunkum. Men are marketed a particular style of beauty more forcibly than women are, but just take a look at all the couples you pass on the street. Every one of those guys thinks the women on his arm is a hottie (and the women think that of the men, and the men of the men, and the women of the women). Guys like small, large, and in between, tall, short, dark, light, big boobs, small boobs, etc, and (just like women) a guy who falls for someone will think that person is amazing looking, even if she s not necessarily his type. The s a social pressure for men to use the standardised metric for 8 s, 9 s and 65 s, but don t be fooled into thinking that that s actually based on their preferences and attractions.
I ve also been in many situations with strong women in which they use what I like to call The Velvet Hammer. These women use their force of personality and intellect to establish themselves in a conversation or a situation. I ve seen the effect it can have (quite striking pardon the pun), and it s what I ve chosen to strive for in my own interactions. It s served me well, and hasn t required that I change who I am, or try to make myself look less intellectual. In fact, it s made me look even *stronger,* and it s harder to be dismissed as a hysterical woman when the Velvet Hammer is employed.
I am a strong independant outgoing woman and been told i m gorgous , but can,t remember the last time anyone asked me only thing ii catch men looking at me all the time so why don t they approach me i m a very nice friendly lady. Look like i ll be single for the rest of my life , but i will not change the way i am for anyone, and also men treat me terribly and don t know why ??
Interesting post! You seem like a lady, who may have it together. Why would you say you are single and women like you? Why do men you find to be attractive not seem to appreciate all the things you offer? Do you feel that sometimes women have to inflate themselves in order to feel attractive and constantly brag about their accomplishments and attributes because men just arent interested in them? I find that women. Make a lot of excuses for their singleness, clearly their are intelligent men out there. of them and only insecure and pathetic women have to rationalize why they are single and speak of their phantom successes.
Yeah honestly I'm very down to earth and don't have high standards the standards matter to me whether or not the guy has a vision and an ambitious goal that he is working towards. For instance, if a guy is planning to become let's say, an architect or a college professor or engineer and he is still in school studying and working towards that then is fine with me. But if a man is being lazy and just saying he wants to do all of this stuff but ends up sitting on his ass all day watching TV then by all means I don't want that in my life.
I've been with men who didn't have a set career or an education and most of the time I didn't work out simply because the men told me I should be with someone who is in school with me or as ambitious.
I've been hurt and confused because I don't ever portray or act like I'm some big shot with huge standards really I just want someone who's respectful, educated, and loves me. That's all.
Men often don t approach me. I always notice them staring, doing double takes, or even flashing smiles and greetings, but nothing more. My guy friend a long time ago once told me that the guys who were interested but didn t say anything were just intimidated I didn t quite get that. When they did make a move, they d approach my friends to approach me, and I m not sure what exactly made me so unapproachable, but they d give me gifts, obtain numbers, etc. through the people I knew, but not me directly.
A lot of us strong, intimidating women tend to dig our heels in against change just as much as the shy nerd-boys do. We see our behavior as just how we are, and, you know what, it *is* how we are. But, we also need to have some perspective about how we come across. If you saw a video of yourself, would it change your opinion about your behavior? Is it understandable that a woman who is being obnoxious in the name of not changing is still being obnoxious? Could it be that, as a response to feeling like people are telling us to change, we actually ramp UP our outgoing/competitive/intellectual/whatever nature without really realizing it?
It is wrong that men can find smart, funny, attractive, (insert numerous positive adjectives here) women intimidating. That is an issue with the men, though, and this is an article that is advice for women. It has been said that if a woman doesn t want to change, she should not. That makes the pool of date-able men a bit more shallow because you have to weed out the insecure ones who can t handle an intimidating woman. And that should be the overwhelming advice.
also is regards to be intimidated by number of partners I think it s more of a fear it s not very special. like, it just seems like you re another dick or vagina that means nothing you know? people usually see sex as something SPECIAL and when guys or girls just kinda see it casually it turns people off because they come as as not being very serious about you, or you re being used.
I use to hear this kind of stuff in college. It drove me nuts!! I just wanted to hang you and get to know different guys, and was always told I intimidated them! No one would tell me what I was doing that was so intimidating. I wasn t willing to be a bobblehead just to get a guy I guess that was intimidating. Then I got lucky and met my husband. Unfortunately, now I have this problem with other women where I work as a volunteer. Because I project confidence, even when I m not so confident, I express my opinions and am unafraid of them, and I follow through with ideas, I guess this is intimidating? I hate that statement like nothing else, because they never tell me specifics. It s just I m intimidated so I don t want to work with her. Seriously!!! I have always tried so hard to project that you can come to me about anything, but I refuse to hole into myself, swallow that which I am passionate about, and become a decoration just so others feel more comfortable. I m proud to be smart and strong. No one, man or woman, should ever be made to feel ashamed of that!
My goal was to include an achievement that was still a measurable 8775 first person to 8776 do something, but was more lighthearted to just finish off the list (especially one filled with many astounding and dangerous endeavors!). With so many of us being on social media, I thought it might be relatable and kind of a cool bit of 8775 first 8776 trivia to end on. I apologize if I didn 8767 t convey my intentions totally clearly. I agree that there are countless other women firsts out there that definitely deserve attention, and like I said, I hope to be able to spotlight some of those women in the future. Thanks again for your feedback!
The post starts out with describing this smart, good-looking, successful woman and we re led to believe there isn t anything wrong with her. Except that then all the advice is either choose somebody who is okay with you being assertive, smart etc. or maybe there is something wrong with you or how you present yourself. The first is plain common sense (although the problem is how and where to find this kind of a person), and the second
This isn t new advice. I came to this article really excited to see what insights the good Dr had on the subject. I came out feeling like I had just been reading Cosmo. We know this advice. It s in our magazines, it s in our books. We get it from well meaning parents, grandparents, sisters, brothers, friends, teachers, employers, passing strangers in the street ( smile! ). I honestly expected this was the place I wouldn t find it.
We all have to go along to get along , to some degree. To stick with your Person of Color / gay analogy, yes, these people have to adapt to a majority society that is different than them, just like you and I do, just like nerd boys do. (It seems to me that Dr. Nerdlove&rsquo s example of Creepers was just that &ndash only an example.) Funny thing: So do the majority-holders. Exhibit A: Political Correctness.