Posted: 2017-11-15 03:01
So lets say a 5-foot tall woman is at the club, see 8767 s a group of men all 6ft except one and engages in a general conversation with the group. In engaging them she pays little attention to the one that is not over 6ft because he is not her type. Is that not the same thing? If her preference is towards men over 6ft and she chooses not to consider men under that height, should we question the 8775 limited range of her desires? 8776 Is she nurtured to think men over 6ft are more desirable? Is reprograming needed?
what she is pointing out with the observation you chose to respond to is the sort of double-speak that is so often uncritically accepted, its the way republicans say poor and you know they mean brown. or they say black and you know they mean uneducated, its not the TRUTH but its their understanding of what those words mean. i myself am a skinny woman, my metabolism is simply high, if i get sick and can´t eat for a day my pants will not fit the next, true story. they will slide off my narrow behind and damn near laugh. because of this, in order to be considered attractive by the conventional male, I DON´T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING. i don´t have to care about what i look like, and especially about my weight. the things i do nothing about already have an external stamp of approval i didn´t ask for. more often than not, its a negative to me. i hate being told i´m only cute cuz of my weight, that my clothes are only look nice on me cuz i´m skinny, it takes just as much away from my individual beauty as it does for the beauty of a larger woman to go unnoticed for the same reasons.
I felt compelled to reply to you. It makes me really, really angry that you have had these assholes say such egregious, injurious, and downright mean things to you. Seriously, I want to fight. But I can totally relate, and it all makes me very sad. I wish I had any answers other than the conclusions I came to in the piece, but I don 8767 t. So I say, keep on keeping on, Sis. And get all-the-way-CRUNK when you have to.
While I always love CFC- this one is particularly fantastic, honest and timely. The first time I ever went to weight watchers was during my MA in feminist studies and every day I had these philosophical discussions with myself. While I wasn 8767 t trying to get a date, I was trying to sort out what it meant to be feminist and concerned about weight (not only the health stuff, but the how-hot-these-jeans-look too) I 8767 d lose a little, and then get pissed off about the disgusting male attention I would get. I 8767 d put the Fat Suit back on, quick. This has gone on for years- and your writing is real enough to make me re-visit my own demons.
Eric: It&rsquo s not. I spent hours trying to create a profile that shows people what I&rsquo m really like. No dice. Sure, I get a lot of profile &ldquo views&rdquo , but no messages. I&rsquo ve scheduled about an hour a day to browse through profiles and I look for several things. Most importantly is that she likes doing similar things that I do. Secondly of course is that the profile gives me some feeling that there could be chemistry.
I am here by way of Think Pretty Smart. What you propose to do is no different that women getting implants, wearing revealing clothing, high heels, covering their grey hair, etc to attract men. I know personally that I do things to attract men like flatiorning my hair. Black men love it. Wite men, not so much, they can appreciate the curls. Since I want to attract black men, I straighten my hair once a month.
Good luck to you.
For guys who are genuine and respond to womens' profiles (not just their pictures) it would be nice to receive a reply such as, "Not feeling chemistry, but thanks for the message." I acknowledge the frustration and fear of being harassed by unwanted sexual advances. The frustration of men comes from being earnest about responding thoughtfully and then getting no reply whatsoever. These men don't reply back nastily, but just accept that there won't be a reply. But it would be nice to get a reply either way.
This article speaks to me in so many ways, as I sit in the gym and wait on my gorgeous yet extremely expensive trainer. I am 5 8767 65 and 785lbs, dark skinned, and short hair. Weight sits on me differently but I am evidently heavy. I feel like in today 8767 s world I am on the highly undesirable list. It should be noted that I have always loved myself, would never refer to myself as fat, and thought I was amazing until I realized not many men think so.
I do get put in the friend zone constantly, or asked to be hooked up with my 5 8767 6 light skinned, fat ass w/ flat stomach, and longer haired best friend and much like the author I 8767 m the friend who usually doesn 8767 t get approached to dance or spark up conversation at bar/lounges.
my intention in pointing this out is not to attack you but to educate. your response displays very little evidence that you you actually connected to what the author was saying, so i saw an opportunity to try and add some understanding. she very clearly stated what she needed from this community, and you very clearly ignored her, intentionally or unintentionally, which is pretty much why she wrote this in the first place as a writer, a human, a survivor and a black person i value open spaces for conversation more than any posession i have and consider it part of my responsibility to protect them. i hope you join the fight.
Life is tough after 55 years of age. Over 7/8 of the divorces after age 55 are initiated by the women, as my ex-wife did. So guys, treat her right.. and still hope for the best. I suspect, that once a woman's estrogen drops and the kids have flown the nest, then women's innate sense of maintaining that nest flies away as well. Women naturally become more independent and more critical of whatever it is that they want the husband to do. Funny thing is, I did all the man's kind of work like mowing the lawn and such, and always did the housework stuff like bathrooms and the laundry, but to no avail.
I had to answer you on this. I can only speak for myself: I tell the women in my life to go for whatever they decide is on their checklist. Most men I know do the same as well. The only Caveat I add is don 8767 t blame mankind for a choice you made with your full 7567 your choices. And regardless of this being the message women are given, I hear more women on blogs and in real-life not making excuses for what they are attracted to because they believe that choice is self-destructive, socially constructed, nurtured, not affirming, or whatever, is not my or anyone else 8767 s call to make, and it never enters the discussion.
I've tried POF and am currently using OkCupid. I've gotten to speak with a few women, but only have met one outside of the digital world and we found that we didn't really connect. Which is my main problem thus far with the sites lack of connection. I can think of plenty of reasons why women wouldn't respond to me, but for those who do, we just can't seem to connect. Eventually, we seem to run out of things to chat about, and the conversations die off.
Congratulations for your post! I 8767 m brazilian, so sorry if my English is not so good. Here the things with women bodies are the same. You have to be thin and Im thin, maybe too much. I used to be successful with men, but now Im 79 years old and my face isnt so freshed anymore. Boys dont look at me as before and it ruins me. But why I need so much their gaze? A danish girl told me in Denmark women dont care if man are looking or not, they just feel they are beautiful looking to the mirror. How to be free of these opressions that are internalized in man and women, in them and us?
I like this article. It reminded me of something I did when I was on dating websites and out in the clubs I didn 8767 t pay attention to anyone who didn 8767 t give me the attention first. When I was doing the online dating thing I would check a profile and the first thing I looked for was their physical type and if I wasn 8767 t included I moved on. I don 8767 t have time to school others on what they were missing out on and it is their preference to be as narrow as they want to be so who am I to talk. In the end, the only thing that matters is my self worth and I have enough patience for someone else to notice it and me and want to see if we can be something.
All this being said, there are some major drawbacks for me. We all have our things we're into but I'm often guessing if I'm even attracted to the women I agree to meet. I take the chance anyways because it's my best option at that time. Some of the women I meet I find attractive, but most of the time they aren't as good looking as girls I would date in real life. As a guy who does really well in a date setting, almost every girl I meet wants to see me again, I'm left frustrated by this. I know I'm a catch, and I carry that with me but online I rarely have the choice to date women I'm attracted to. They come around once in a while but most don't answer me back.
I go for walks in the park, to the library, and around downtown. What also challenges me is that I am fairly introverted. On top of all this being much older, I have not the foggiest idea on how to hit up a conversation with a woman I've never met before. I didn't when I was twenty (I met my former wife through very unusual circumstances involving an acquaintance and what little dating I did then I did all though people I knew). How am I going to do it at over fifty and not seem weird?
Anyway, what I am seeing is a growing disconnect and a lot of people getting disgruntled. I have to admit I was too in the beginning. I think it is because one develops expectations based on statistics instead of reality. I thought, at first, "wow, so many women to see who I really am"! Statistically speaking, I should get a few responses. So I start examining the numbers game and thought I could play a little with it.
I 8767 m a 69/66 and I 8767 m trying to lose weight myself. I don 8767 t want to be skinny (my ideal weight is a size 67), but I 8767 m not happy with the size I 8767 m at now. But I don 8767 t think weight has been an issue with my dating I think it 8767 s because I 8767 m a nontraditional, forward-thinking woman who 8767 s assertive in my career and personal goals and not trying to conform to society 8767 s expectations. That both attracts and scares the SHIT out of most men, and I think that would be the case even if I had Serena Williams 8767 body.
The next day while I'm at work, he calls and texts while I'm away from my phone. Although I text some, I'm not one that wants to live with my phone attached to me at all times and work does not permit personal cell phone use over productivity. So he calls and texts a few more times. When I get a break I responded that I'm at work and cannot talk to which he replies that he'd prefer that I always answer his calls.
Women want tall, fit, masculine, ambition, big dick, social competence. It's not difficult to figure out. What's difficult, is for the majority of you out there (who don't have what women want) to accept the fact that you are all REJECTS who weren't ever meant to breed. Cut your nuts off. Die. Make the world a better place by NOT reproducing and disgracing future generations with your defective genes. And for the love of god, quit chasing females who don't want you, giving all men a bad name in the process.