Posted: 2017-09-17 02:08
I noticed that one of my posts had been commented on and so looked back at the article and noticed your response. I wanted to say thank you for your support, Matt. It gives me a lot of hope to see men empathise with the harassment that women experience based on how they appear. As to 8766 feelings, 8767 women have to rely on them a lot when they travel due to situations like this occurring that can escalate if men follow us when we walk by ourselves (what a terrible thing, a woman walking around by herself so obviously asking to be sexually objectified and stalked!!). Often the feeling of 8766 bad vibes 8767 is our intuition alerting us to danger, which you grow attuned to if you travel solo. But the real issue is of course the objectification which is dehumanising and never OK. Thanks for understanding, Matt. Empathy requires putting yourself in other people 8767 s shoes and appreciating and responding to how they feel. Only when we do this can we create a society of equals.
But it was the forgetting what he had said. The actions only held up half the time. When I would call him on it he would look at me as if I were crazy or make the excuse that work was so all consuming. Of course, I was made to feel I had no idea how much pressure he was constantly under. Sex, on the other hand, never too much pressure for that. (Surprise!) Then he tells me I need to harp on him, he forgets! But if I harped on him, I was a harpie!
I have had this experience. HE says Oh I care so much about you. He does not contact me for weeks at a time. His action he shows up unexpectedly and is looking for sex. My action I told him he Sucks and bed and he should F OFF!!! When men behave like AHOLES the only way to get rid of them is to SLAM them right between the eyes and honesty is key!! Have NO regrets and remember to PUT your needs first!!!!
When we 8767 re willing to put in the time to figure out who we are and to make sure that we 8767 re being authentic by living our lives in line with our values, that in itself creates a great deal of self-awareness because we know who we are. It then feels strange to be putting different selves out there and forces us to act with more due consideration instead of just saying and doing stuff 8766 in the moment 8767 .
For the rest of my time in Merida I emulated the local women, who never seemed to wear skirts or dresses, except for the older ladies, who wore long skirts. I couldn 8767 t bear to wear jeans in the 85 degree heat, but some baggy hareem pants did the trick. I enjoyed my time there a lot more after that bare shoulders and chests didn 8767 t attract too much attention surprisingly it seemed to be a leg thing!
Thanks God, finally someone that realizes, that there are dress codes for men too, and who respects them (Yes, walking around 8775 half-naked 8776 is unacceptable for men just as much as it is for woman, in muslim countries) I 8766 ve spend years travelling around Latin America, and elsewhere including many muslim countries, and I never got harassed in a negative way Easy to guess why
Currently deep in mining country on unrelated tasks. The CFMEU runs the show. They even sponsor the news on local commercial radio that I have been force to endure for mercifully short periods of time. It was strange to hear the credit line for a radio segment given to a union. Bit like this next song is brought to you by the Liberal party would seem strange to me. I could be out of touch.
I am not saying one HAS to do that, am I? )
Besides, I don 8767 t think we are talking about being an Alpha female here really, in general life, at least.
We are talking about handling a particular uncomfortable or even dangerous situation. And if one feels like one wants to do something about it and protect oneself against it
If a woman wishes to simply ignore it, then the problem is not there at all, I guess. But she 8767 s not going to avoid it unless she does something about it, that 8767 s sort of a law of physics.
I have traveled in many countries, in many levels of those cultures. Harrassment? My god yes. Frightening? Incredable so at times. Men do this, and reward each other for it. Women do not, (with the exception of some college co eds). In raising my son, I made sure he heard me, I told him my stories and feelings, explaining that the fear of and even death at the hands of an out of control man was very real for most/all women, no matter what the culture. Men have no idea the level of fear that we have to address.
Like the commenter on Facebook, I 8767 ve never experienced as much street harassment per day/week in my travels as I did living in Brooklyn. One of my former roommates just posted about how she went off on some guys for it earlier today. However, it 8767 s really heartening to hear about women like the two of you confronting the issue across different cultures and chronicling your efforts online as well!
I’m Flora, a freelance writer, traveller and avid volunteer with an obsession for hunting out the weirdnesses of the world.
Over the last seven years I''ve lived in Florence & San Francisco, worked in India & Iceland, volunteered in Nepal & Lithuania, and more recently spent eighteen months attempting to become fluent in Spanish while journeying around South America. After stints as as a Colombian journalist, a Bolivian artificial limb maker and a Brazilian builder, I’ve come back to London for my Masters degree - and to plan my next adventure.
My vague aim is to visit every continent twice before I turn thirty one – and explore as much of the world as possible in the meantime! Follow along on Facebook , Twitter , and Instagram.
Really interesting post Fiona. At university I studied the culture of 8766 machismo 8767 in Latin America it was part of a very odd module called 8766 Wenches, Hombres and Machos: Gender and Sexuality in the Americas 8767 , and was always curious about how the culture manifested itself in reality.
Earlier this year I finally visited Mexico, and was really happy to find the warnings about wolf-whistling and sexual comments about my appearance didn 8767 t appear to be true. Until I arrived in Merida. The first day I did what I 8767 d been doing in Isla Mujeres, Valladolid and PDC, I went out wearing a dress. A really, really big mistake.
Everywhere I went I got shouts and whistles of 8766 Bonita Senorita! 8767 and 8766 I like your tattoo 8767 my tattoo being high up on my thigh. Knowing men were actively watching me, leering at me and making comments including a police officer was beyond creepy. One even took a picture on his phone.
People who are disconnected in that way may act in the moment and that implies that they have good intentions in that moment but that is not good enough. A grown man or woman can`t walk all over other people and their feelings without being accoutable for their actions ( or verbal diarrhea), not in my new BR enlightened world, anyway. Natalie, how brilliantly spot on if our actions match out thoughts it really becomes irrelevant what it is that they do, they simply won`t be in our lives.
OMG, that’s putting it lightly! Electricity utilities that were privatised decades ago by both sides of politics, for good reason, now have to be reacquired by the state to ensure reliability due to failed government policy! That is, they only have themselves to blame….and they continue with the same policy! The very definition of insanity….doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results! The RET has to go!
This is my ex all over. His lack of accountability always baffled me he could swear blind on a Monday that there was no-one else and that he was splitting up with me because he wanted to move away, focus on his eduction blah blah then on Wednesday I would see him with the girl I had accused him of seeing on the Monday and he could just walk on by with no explanantion in fact he got rather annoyed that I wanted answers
I understand what You 8767 re trying to say, but I feel the examples you use are very mild compared to the behavior of the men in the article. If you 8767 re able to catch yourself after 8-5 seconds and then say 8775 oops I probably look creepy now for staring 8776 then you have some self- awareness that recognizes your behavior can make other people feel uncomfortable and adjust accordingly. It sounds like the guys in the article are staring for MINUTES not seconds and if they are aware that it makes the women uncomfortable, they certainly don 8767 t care.
For more than a century the wedding cake bakers have had us heteros over a barrel. Personally I think they’ll keep the rort going and extend it to same sex couples. But no doubt there will be one or two who pull the old freedom of speech card and peddle the nonsense they have been put in a legal half Nelson and forced to combine eggs, butter, flour and a teaspoon of vanilla essence and bake in a moderate oven for 95 minutes.
That 8767 s one thing I don 8767 t miss, the hissing! It didn 8767 t matter what I was wearing either, the times when I got it most was when I got out from volunteering, sweaty and knackered and wearing the usual jeans and top combination. It was though in an area where you would get next-to-no tourists and I couldn 8767 t look any more foreign if I tried but I used to hotfoot it to the metro as soon as I could.
Regarding taking photos, as long as it 8767 s done respectfully with people 8767 s permission, why not? When I was in Asia plenty of people asked to take photos with me and I didn 8767 t mind, it was a novelty for me and them and usually a good way to get chatting. My friend and I were so baffled at how to cross a main road in Vietnam that the police helped us and lots of people stopped to take photos what 8767 s the harm? Likewise at home in Ireland one of my best friends has bright red curly hair and lots of freckles and tourists frequently ask to take photos with her because she fits the stereotypical notion of an Irish 8775 cailín 8776 again, not a problem.
I think that 8767 s a great idea to pay half if you know you won 8767 t see them again. Then they can 8767 t use that against you. Unless of course it 8767 s an expensive place, at their insistence, then they can take care of it. I think an initial date, coffee and cake would do, low committment, no misunderstandings. Some guys think that dinner pays for bootie, so expensive dinner = assured bootie. No way hozay.