Posted: 2017-10-16 21:51
Good example. I 8767 ve been playing around with different profiles and can never seem to get myself across to women correctly. Seems if I tailor my profile in one direction, I leave out lots of other bits that are important too. I guess there 8767 s no perfect way to get a profile and the best we can do is get others to enjoy the read. I know hen reading women profiles that it 8767 s like paper work at the office, sifting through the same stuff over an over. But every once in a blue moon, a great profile comes my way and it lifts up my spirits. Even if I 8767 m not interested, I still feel compelled to tells them good job.
I'm not messaging guys out of my league. I don't want a guy that's super fit and looks like a movie star. I want a guy that I'm attracted to, but that I'll feel comfortable around. Eventually there would be sex, which won't happen if I'm too self-conscious or if I'm grossed out at the thought. So if I dream up my perfect man, he's going to be a little hefty, he's going to have a receding hairline and his face won't be clean shaven, he's going to wear comic book characters tshirts, he's also not going to be hugely successful, but he'll have his act together, he'll be well educated, and sarcastic, and a little bit dark, and if I were that guy, yeah, I'd date me because I'm pretty sure if I were a guy, this is the guy I'd be. I think perhaps you're reflecting your own insecurities and prejudices on others.
Wow, makes me lol to hear women complain about OKC. Oh no, you had to sift through a bunch of messages from really gross people? Oh poor baby, the internet really just isn't for you, is it? That certainly is somehow equivocal to the disappointment a lot of men receive on these sites of getting no attention at all.. oh wait, those two aren't even remotely comparable. If you can't deal with ugly, sleazy, mediocre people, get the fuck off the internet!
Finding a match on an online dating site takes a lot of work, especially since most sites today are overrun by scammers. That said, for most people who are no longer in school, they are probably still the best 'focused and pro-active' option. Yes, you are likely to be disappointed, to be hurt along the way, but then I suspect that even though you were married before you left school, you still had your heart broken once or twice before you met your wife. And yes, it is possible to meet people in church, at meet-ups and other special interest activities. However, a good many people you will meet in any of those places have no interest in finding a new partner.
Well it all started with a sweet message from him, and we started talking. The more talked and laughed together, we realized that we belonged together. We both were searching for that right person, and we both agree that it was fate and destiny that brought us together. We are both happy with each other and neither one of us wants it to end. We both know where this is leading to a more wonderful life with the perfect man.
Also I can attest to the fact that I currently hold an account on okcupid. I am currently looking for a partner. I have also chosen to abstain from competition regarding wealth and power and instead am attempting to find a place on the fringes of society where I can be myself without harming others. I own very little, earn very little, and struggle to find women willing to get to know someone in my societal position as a potential partner.
Nature didn't takes it's course as it did over years for us to connect over a wire. That just doesn't work, period. She can be however interested if you got a smooth talk and decent pictures. Most of the time a woman is not self aware of what she wants and gets bored with the chat because they thrive on emotion, unlike us men. But in the end you need to be your own man in the real world and become the best version of yourself. Attraction is not a conscious choice, meaning a women can't control to who she is attracted to. Just take care of yourself, read self improvement books. Go buy "Mind lines" from Michael Hall and educate yourself to create a healthy view of the world and stay away from negative news and media.
Niche dating sites cater for a specific audience and White Men Black Women dating is a specialist website so you know that when browsing profiles you know that all the Black Women on the site are looking for White Men, and you can get instant access to them. In the same way if you are a black girl and you love White Men then you can be sure that all our male members are white guys only looking for black girls.
I would hate to bore you by telling you how wonderful I am by attaching to my name a bunch of flattering adjectives. I am sure that you have already found this about two hundred times in all the other profiles. I believe that words are cheap, but actions speak much louder, so why bother? So, why not start with a bad stuff I am impulsive and restless at times, I can 8767 t kill a fly, I cried twice like a girl when I watched 8775 Notebook, 8776 I cuss too often, and stay up way too late way too often. There is something about the nighttime that I find magic, if you will, which keeps me up working or hanging out aimlessly. Can you relate? I have little patience for flakes and fake people those who smile while being angry on the inside, as I never know what they keep up their sleeve. How about you? What annoyed you today? And what made you weak in your knees from joy and pleasure?
Self confidence is the last important thing you need to have. She is a rich woman so she has power. You need to have confidence to deal with all barriers and conflicts in her life. If she needs to have some ideas, then make sure you give her the best ones to solve her problems. Don 8767 t ever be angry at her no matter what. Don 8767 t ever lose your confidence because that means you lose her attraction, so it turns out you may lose her. Be confident.
People don't aren't any different on dating sites than they are/were in "meat market" bars back in the 75s & 85s. Nice guys never had a chance because they were perceived as wimps. Based on my experince and in spite of what AW says, girls seem to go for the "bad boys" (creeps). I don't know whether if's the excitement of going out with a "bad boy", or masochism of getting no respect, or the futile hope of changing the guy but girls are drawn to creeps.
The internet is the number one reason for the rise of sexism on the modern age. Women see men for what they are and vice versa. Women ignore most men and clump them all together as pathetic or creeps in broad generalizations and only go for the male model looking profiles. Result is good looking men with professional grade photos and the women willing to have casual sex with them are the only ones getting what they want. Meanwhile other women despise that, the ones that arent interested in casual sex. They see the guys they would want to be with acting like apes because they get an all you can eat buffet while simultaneously ignoring men they could have chemistry with, because meeting people in person is very different from online.
I know guys who constantly say, "Why won't she respond -- I don't get it?" I don't think many of these guys have the kind of creepy-profile pics you describe at all. They're mostly pics of them playing sports, running, spending time in nature, etc. At the same time, most of the women who do actually reach out to these guys are just like you describe -- they come across as desperate. I think that's the most revealing statement of all.
This message board has taught me so much. I've been dating online on and off for at least 7 years. I'm 98. I'm decent looking, I thought LOL. I have a great job, house, one kid, no drama. I guess I'm cool, but a little boring? I just don't think I know how to present myself or heck I really don't know. I get guys that just want a piece or just wanna try dating me since they have never dated outside their race (which I don't mind but I'd like them to like me and not the piece of *** I potentially represent). Its really crushing to the spirit. I don't know if I will even continue online dating after reading all the perspectives here. I'm truly a busy person that doesn't get out much to meet people and a little shy when it comes to getting to know folks. So I guess I'll either put my big girl panties on and just go sit at a bar or give up and be alone. (sigh)
Interesting read. I was debating putting up a profile or perhaps going to a club with some live entertainment. I am going to bed instead lol. It is very true that 65 to 65 years ago online dating worked well. I am an average looking guy but intelligent and funny and I was floored how many interesting, and yes pretty ok I would like someone that I consider to be pretty, not necessarily the text book version either. Anyway, teachers, lawyers, security guards, nurses, there I was dating, where previously I would stand in a bar and not say anything because my voice is very low and you couldn't hear me over the music anyway.
Yes I am older now and I have my daughter half time, but I am still an average looking very intelligent and funny man. I am not bitter, disappointed maybe. I am affected by the lack of responses though, not like jump off a bridge affected, but it does drop you down a notch psychologically. I am glad I read these posts. It sounds like many of us are in the same boat. God bless all of you even the bitter ones we all know that hurt people want to hurt other people.
There are some very interesting posts here. For the ladies I would say I'm sorry that you have to put up with so many rude, insulting, crass men and their messages. Very unfortunate, but most likely the culmination of a cultural whirlwind that has swept over the land the last 55 years or so.
I typically respond to messages from women that I have no interest in and do so in a polite manner, encouraging them to stick with it as it takes time to find the right person online.
However, I don't think the online dating model is productive, for all the reasons mentioned in the posts below. And to those that say that millions of people have met and married via online dating sites, I say prove it with hard data, not conclusory statements bereft of evidence.
Thanks Karmic, that gives me a better understanding of why men I 8767 ve dated (and my friends have dated) have never really liked it when we take on any 8775 pursuer 8776 type of role. My dating life became a lot more effective when I really learned to lean back (at least at the beginning) and respond to the man 8767 s lead, rather than trying to lead myself. I 8767 ve learned to try to let go of control. That birthday dinner was the only time I ever did a check-grab with my boyfriend, because I thought it seemed tacky to have anyone pay for their own birthday. However, even there we eventually compromised by me paying for the meal, him dessert!
I agree Finn. I spent 7 years with a Mormon and couldn't adjust to religious differences, though I gave it a fair shot. We romantically fell in love. His faith put tremendous pressure on us to start a family, and after we married, I found out I couldn't have children based on health reasons. That was the beginning of the end. It was heart-rending. On a dating site I can see when having kids is a deal-breaker for a perspective mate.
What you have to realize as a guy is that weirdly enough there are literally thousands of male profiles that have handsome guys educated to doctorate level on these sites. Just take a look for yourself. This means that no woman would even consider your profile if you a) don't have a doctorate b) don't look at least 'ok' but the doctorate is the clincher. Its just as if when us guys look at profiles on these sites if there were thousands of porn star hot profiles on the site and you had some chance of having them reply to you, you wouldn't even think about wasting your time with a quite pretty girl who was really nice. Unfortunately It's as simple as that. It's not cos you or I are mean it just would be lunacy if you found a hot model liked you and you liked her to go for someone else. That is what these girls are all effectively facing from their point of view a dating site chock full of the most attractive guys so why bother on the rest. Not only that but even for the doctorate level entries they don't get women hitting on then out of the blue every 5 minutes. Try it make a fake profile and you'll see what I mean.
Today is your day, your mountain is waiting.” -Dr. Seuss
I’m an outdoorsy guy who enjoys getting into nature an peasfull places. When I’m not working or exploring the outdoors, you’ll find me at home hanging out with friends watching movies or playing video games — I 8767 m and easy guy to go with really open minded.. right know I 8767 m traveling with a construccion company soo I 8767 m traveling a lot .. I always love older women then me, .. I 8767 m married but separate for now.. I don 8767 t know where this is going to take me but I will take the chance , I 8767 m really romantic guy . I don 8767 t like to receive nothing if I don 8767 t give something