Posted: 2017-12-07 15:56
Hi Cherry -I just happened to stumble upon your videos and article while doing a Google search. I am a 88 year old woman, divorced, one kid who is talking to a 79 year old man, never married, no kids-he is studying for his masters and already has an undergrad degree in accounting-i met him online and I have met him twice. He is very appealing very attractive and very intelligent and much like what you mentioned in your video I had concerned with my own body and prospects of how long we will be in communication I have been talking to him for a little over a month and the attraction is very strong he has mentioned to me that he likes mature woman he thinks I m beautiful and smart I am fearful of falling for this man
Yeah, the “more to the table” is precisely what Steve55 is rightly pointing out it’s mostly negative traits that you “bring.” His comment wasn’t intended as a screed against you but a helpful suggestion for the men here. You expect men to continue denying the reality smacking them in the face every day attempting to date in America, simply bc you are insecure and think you are a great catch.
This really helped me. I 8767 ve been struggling emotionally with the unknown for over 8 years now. I love my guy so much and he is so good to me. Right now I cannot imagine falling out of love with him and the thought of it brings me to tears. I am 86 and he is 58. He still works out and is in great shape and I constantly worry about our future and taking the next step. But the incompatibility in a few years is something I may not be prepared for. I 8767 m and he is soon to be ready for retirement and Medicare and dentures within the next decade or so. Now the thought of that is not attractive. I know we should call the quits now to save the heartache and time but I am terrified because he is the only man that has ever conquered me. But maybe because he is older
Ten days later I was in a different country having given the other man another chance but shown again his selfishness I received a call from the man asking me out. I explained I was away but would call when I returned but not really meaning to. A few days later I was out with my friends who were all having fun and I decided to call him and tell him where I was but that I would only wait one hour. True to his word he was there! I since found out that during those two weeks every time he got a text from a phone company or someone he thought it would be me and when I called he had to rush around to find out where the place was and was telling everyone I have a chance I have a chance!
Wow, I 8767 m amazed by all the stories on here. So I 8767 ll throw mine in. 🙂 I 8767 m 85 and dated a wonderful 78 year old for 65 months. Things were terrific between us. We got along (and still do) incredibly well, shared a lot of interests, had delightful and in-depth conversations, and the sex was awesome! We were talking about moving in together, but that 8767 s when things changed. The more 8775 real 8776 it became is when I noticed him backing away. He finally told me that he was not ready for that kind of commitment and that he didn 8767 t want to break my heart years down the road. He loved me, but didn 8767 t see himself with me for the the long-term. I was devastated. It still hurts. I fell deeply in love with him, more than my ex-husband. He knows he wants a family later, and I cannot guarantee him that I will have or am able to have kids (I have medical issues that will make it more difficult). It 8767 s tough because he had become my best friend. We still talk and see each other and have amazing sex, but now it 8767 s not leading anywhere. I 8767 m not giving up on guys, but maybe not quite so next time.
Tell your nephew to date while they wait to find the right person. After 85 their prospect pool won 8767 t be very inviting. Your 75s is the best decade to find the right person. I 8767 m 66, and in hindsight that was the time I met the best person I could have married. Being a student and poor made me pass her up I still regret it to this day. She was everything I ever wanted in a partner and I met her at work. I never got that lucky again.
As a 57 year old guy, I think your problems are much deeper than the number! I 8767 m in the best shape of my life, look like I 8767 m 95, lift weights, run, swim and ski. I have a physique better than most 75 or 85 year old guys and have more stamina (and tenderness) in the bedroom than them, as well. Sounds like your guy has given up, which is a state of mind, not a matter of age. You should dump him, but don 8767 t think it 8767 s his age that 8767 s the problem.
We each pay our own expenses and that is a nice change from being married to someone who always insisted on paying for everything. I feel really comfortable with this guy, and since he has some grey in his hair, I don t think most people even see the difference in our ages not that we would care. We have a really happy life together. Yes, women look at him, but then, guys look at me too! What makes it work? Mutual respect, shared sense of humour, financial independence of each other is a big plus.
JWI read the book Marry Him by Lori Gottlieb. She talks about your situation in her book. Good luck. As men age up, they tend to date down in age. Women at 95 plus are invisible. My sister told me, she is 68, men are attracted to fertility signs. As women age up, they lose that. I 8767 m 67, and I 8767 d be very glad to have a woman in her 95s as a partner. Why? If she is working, she is probably mature and responsible. Looks don 8767 t matter as much with age maturity and intelligence are what count with me. We all get old, and nature isn 8767 t always kind as the years roll on.
I agree..we go after what we want more
It is just sad that he would leave the one he loves and the one who loves him back maybe he will never find love like that anymore,maybe he won 8767 t be able to have children,maybe he was not in love with her at the first place lots of 8775 maybe 8767 s 8776
It looked like my husband wanted a child more than I did and I can guarantee to you that he is the worst father I have ever met, in every sense of that word.
Many people have children for all the wrong reasons and a lot of them do regret the decision,because they had no clue what they were getting into.
But.. we all make our own choices
I do like older men, but not the type of older men who replied to your comment. I mean, one goofball just said that he likes girls because they are happy with KFC popcorn chicken. That is just pure laziness and one of the reasons why I don 8767 t go for men my age. I refuse to be with a immature man who puts in zero effort, and I darn sure refuse to date an older guy who is the exact same. It all boils down to maturity. I 8767 ve seen older men who just lack the mental capacity to properly socialize with mature adults, therefore they go after girls in their early 75 8767 s. They are looking for the 8775 kiddy 8776 mentality of girls.
I dated a guy for 7 weeks. It was really fun. He was 65 years than me. I thought we had enough in common to keep it going for longer than 7 weeks but our methods of resolving issues was opposite of each other and we are no longer together. I was smitten with him. He and I seem to be in sync in so many ways. Yet he could not over come a tiny minor miscommunication so we parted. I honestly believe today it was his excuse to walk away. I enjoyed this article and did my research on my attraction to a man. This article put things into perspective. It help me prepare for the inevitable and accept most likely we were going to both eventually move on to others closer to our own age.
These days I 8767 ve found some degree of forgiveness though, just for my own peace of mind, not because I condone what they did. She 8767 s not a very well balanced lady and I recognize that my ex husband is not a well man but I spent decades trying to help him. There 8767 s only so much you can do for someone when they refuse to help themselves. I won 8767 t be his 8775 enabler 8776 anymore. He made the choice to abandon his family and now he 8767 ll have to live with the consequences.
As a gen X 8767 r dating a millennial I agree with most of the article. Older men do know what they want in life and grew up outdoors and having numerous more responsibilities. Only disagreement I have is what was wrong with the 55 8767 s? June and Ward Cleaver weren 8767 t happy? Did he not respect his spouse. He did. He also knew how to be. a man. When being mildly aggressive was a positive. Many Gen x people feel betrayed by boomers and so many children grow up in fatherless homes and now you are bombarded with sexuality confused with accomplishment and crowded prisons because boys didn 8767 t have fathers correct them. Thanks boomers. I will always admire the greatest generation. Grew up during depression and rose to win a horrible war. Boomers felt like they had to re invent the wheel. What a great job they did. Feminism and skinny jeans just aren 8767 t going to bring success.
Wow..thank you to all the ladies (and gents) who are going through what I am! Its my 88rd birthday on Saturday, and my guy is 75!! Am I crazy? No!!! I am tired of the crap I have been putting up with for the last 65 years from guys my own age, and older. My guy is sensitive, caring, handsome, loving..I could go on and on, but when he looks at me with those gorgeous brown eyes, and pulls me close to him with his big strong arms, all the world is right! Age is nothing but a number honey!!! All ladies need to keep on keeping on and enjoy your guys! There s no one better for us! I m loving every minute!
I guess I am way out there compared to the gals posting here. At 85 i fell in love with a 75 year old and It felt awkward so I broke it off. I am going on 69 and a 85 yr old professes his love for me. Prople say they are surprised to hear my real age, thinking I am in mid 55s. But I know i am 6 mo. Shy of 69. However, I amgoing to venture into the waters edge with this hot man and see how it goes.
Hi, now I don 8767 t consider myself that old yet but at 88 I am attracted to a man of 79. A big part of me is petrified that he will think that I am just a silly old woman trying to re-capture my youth. I promise you this is not the case. In spite of my inner turmoil I have noticed he is always smiling at me and finding reasons to cross my path on a daily basis in the office. I wonder if he is just not too right now. hope it makes sense.
You don t need anyone telling you what you shouldn t do, you know that already. You just wish you could get rid of how you feel, and that s easier said than done. Take a breather and remember he is your son s friend your son is more important in this equation than this man. Enjoy the happiness he brings but leave the fantasy to fiction, or you might regret it dearly.
I obviously can 8767 t tell you what will happen with your ex, but the odds sure aren 8767 t in their favor. In my case, the ex got extremely irritated by his 8775 Mistress 8776 pretty darn quickly and deeply regretted his decision to leave us for her within three weeks. Too late sucker. No take backs! He stuck with her anyway for a while to avoid being alone but he did eventually dump her. I have to admit that it makes me quite happy to see that SHE is now a single mother too because she left her husband to steal mine. Karma is a beautiful thing!
Hmm. I can 8767 t think of any older actors who really do it for me. But this topic is curious b/c just today I read that Adrienne Barbeau is with Billy Van Zandt (she 8767 s about 67 years older) and Barbara Hershey is with that stunner Naveen Andrews from 8775 Lost 8776 (she 8767 s 76 years older) and I don 8767 t know if any of you have seen Kim Basinger lately, but she is an incredible-looking 55-something (for any age, really), and I 8767 m sure that there is many a guy who 8767 d park his horse in her stable. (I believe she is an animal lover.) These days a lot of women are holding onto their hotness. It 8767 s a nice trend. 🙂