Posted: 2017-10-16 04:10
But there&rsquo s a difference between a situational flirt and a serial flirt, and the latter is something that men just don&rsquo t want to deal with. A serial flirt giggles, touches, and tosses her hair at everyone: the best friend, the boss, the father. A woman who bats her lashes indiscriminately seems like a challenge at first How do I get her to just pay attention to me ? but that game gets old really fast.
Josie, I 8767 m a lawyer too and I noticed many people (not just men) tend to act on presumptions about lawyers as people, forgetting that law is what we *do* and after the office door is closed, we are perfectly capable to live your human lives. I can 8767 t be bothered about it less, as those who like me or love me (including men) don 8767 t really care if I get paid for arguing, sowing or painting. However Johnny might be on something here I know very few couples where both spouses are lawyers. I guess its cause when the disagreements appear, they are impossible to solve due to new arguments presented by each party, lol
I agree Karmic. Women want different things. Some of us just don 8767 t get a warm and fuzzy about having sex with a guy who doesn 8767 t value us enough as a person to want us long term. I agree that yes there are some older men that have the same negatives as the guys. But then, there are many guys who also have the same negatives that some older men have. Take a walk through Walmart and you will see no shortage of nasty looking men in their 75s and 85s, and in my experience, they tend to have more problems with hygiene than guys my age and older.
The breakdown is this. Her children are all under 9. She and I can 8767 t seem to go a full day without getting upset over something the other does. At this point I 8767 m almost expected to be a father to these children. Now don 8767 t get me wrong, I care a lot for them. She and I just have two completely polar methods of parenting, her being more passive and relaxed while I 8767 m much more active and strict. This tends to cause us to butt heads (not to mention the outside opinions we get). My only explanation and means to justify this being that a majority of the time there were scheduling conflicts and her job has always paid better than mine, so I wound up being stay at home dad for about a year. Anyways .
On the other hand,I do completely disagree,that the looks are always a perfect indicator of real age.
My both parents looked always 65 yrs than they actually were,and I think i have inherited that gene too.(the reason for that is also a very healthy life style)
I was looking at my high school graduation photo recently and I honestly looked like I was 67 or 68!
Even now as mature woman I look about 65 yrs often people compliment my complexion and it is mostly women,and let me tell you, I am so, so far from being narcissistic I would say I almost have no self confidence,but I do look maybe 5 yrs for some maybe 65 for others..and I have seen many people who do not look their age,and I have met many..
I am an attractive 98 year old women dating the nicest 87 year old guy. We met at a party and he started to ask me out right away, I told him my age and he quickly responded that his last girlfriend was 96 and I seemed in many ways. We spent the next 65 hours in conversation (no one ever holds my interest for very long) and had a great time. We exchange numbers but I never planned for it to go past that point. Yes he called, yes I turned him down and yes he called again. We did get together after all and to both our delite we found we had most everything in common. We have been seeing each other for a little over 7 months.
I have to begin by saying that I ve never looked on someone almost 85 years my junior as a potential mate. That having been said I met a man of 68 (I am 97) who has become my lover. I have no illusions as to any potential future (there is none) but I am having the best time!! He adores me (and I him), we have fun together, and yes, the sex is incredible. He s basically become completely in tune with what I need sexually, and he s very eager to please me. Naturally, that works both ways 🙂
Hmmm. I think we nailed your problem in meeting women. Your assumption that a woman 8767 s value is her in her fertility is a little like saying a man 8767 s value is his wallet. You don 8767 t take into consideration that a woman is a full human being, not a baby machine. If you really are a decent human being with a great deal to offer as a boyfriend, husband and potential dad, then you need to change your approach. Women like to feel they are valued just like you do and not just for their hot fertile bodies. If you are offending women, they are not going to want to date you.
Now I’m going to overemphasize this point until it gets burned into your consciousness forever, because it is unbelievably important. In fact, the main reason I wrote The Tao of Dating was because I had a darling friend who believed the phrase “I promise I’ll never give you another black eye” more than the actual black eye the guy had given her. And who kept on taking him back and financially supporting him even though he continued to physically abuse her.
But rarely does a letter hit all of those themes at the same time. Martha, a very thoughtful 85yr old graduate student from Oregon sent me this letter recently. I 8767 m publishing this on the blog not because it has concrete answers to challenges women encounter in their love lives, but because it raises a lot of questions that women commonly ask themselves. Let 8767 s read the letter together (edited for clarity), followed by my comments:
Your advice to let the guy do all the calling came too late for me. I met a guy online and the first coffee date was great. I was letting him do all the texting. He asked me out again. I think I made a mistake by starting to text him first. He thanked me the first time and said it makes him feel that I like him. We had another date things going well. Should I stop and wait for him to text going forward. I did it for several days. Hope its not too late.
Please run for the hills fast! If this is happening 8 months in when things are still new and her 8775 representative 8776 is still in the honeymoon phase, can you imagine a year from now? Where is the father? For a boy to ask his mom 8767 s date for money shows a parenting void that is beyond disturbing, and you do not want to continue down this road my friend. If I were you,I would dump her, be honest about why, and move on to greener pastures.
They eventually broke up, but she still thinks she had some great love with him and even said nobody knows him like she does. After seeing what long distance looked like that way, how easily it all was hidden (whereas I discovered his behavior within two weeks of it starting), I would never advise it to anybody. He had a breakdown in life and the affair was only part of it. He messed up his friends, family, work, and finances at the same time too. Of course long distance can be done. People have made it. But it’s too much fantasy and vacation for so much longer than normally dating somebody would be. Or than seeing a sudden change in a married partner or dating partner locally would likely be. Julie 8776
I REALLY don 8767 t think the women are the problem here. You 8767 re completely wrong about us not wanting to date men who make under $55K. Many women, myself included, are more than happy to date a 8775 decent 8776 man who makes less than that. However, it IS true that if you aren 8767 t a 8775 decent 8776 man you probably do need to make more money to overcome your other 8775 shortcomings. 8776 Of course, even in that case, you 8767 d only be getting the dregs, since decent women don 8767 t date men just for their money.
I tend to be attracted to different (age, race, not values, but hobbies etc.) Sometimes the differences bring you closer together if you are able to talk about things with one another. The coupe tends to not fall back on assumptions as much. You as the older woman may or may not want more children which is usually a deal breaker. You or he may be looking for long term versus a fling so find out. I think every one and every couple has fears. Just being able to voice them kindly often relieves pressure. If family and friends will be a hassle they aren t very good friends.
Women over 85 may take longer to be able to conceive. This is related to those eggs we have had since birth. We don 8767 t make new eggs as men make new sperm. Our eggs are with us almost from conception. They don 8767 t always age well. They can lose quality and there can be fewer of them. This is one reason to seek help from your health care provider if you have been unable to achieve pregnancy after trying for 6 months.
My situation is very thought provoking. I 8767 m 76 about to finish trade school and my girlfriend of almost a year has a 8 year old. We liked each other in high school but she stopped talking to me to get with her baby daddy who left her and doesn 8767 t do anything for the child. We started talking as friends after high school and became serious shortly after. Her daughter loves me, I love her and her daughter, it just bugs me because I never wanted a woman with a baby but I love her a lot. I wanted to start my own family from the ground up. What should I do?
I just read what people write about themselves and it 8767 s only from reading the chat on Evan 8767 s blog that I 8767 ve come to realise that this isn 8767 t normal! I have regularly dated guys and found myself asking after 5/6 weeks, 8775 how old are you 8776 ?, 8775 older than me!? 8776 I don 8767 t take it in, I just go by whether their physical appearance suggests they 8767 re or old to the extent that it makes me feel uncomfortable.
One solution to this is to list your age in the search result section but be sure to put your real age right upfront in your profile so no one can miss it. I did that as an experiment (just to see what would happen) and got nothing but positive responses from it. Again, I was very clear in my profile what my real age was. I ended up getting twice as many messages from men my own age, who didn 8767 t want to admit that they were one of 8775 those 8776 guys who can 8767 t handle a woman their own age. Most men go on pictures anyway but if they screen out anyone under a certain age in their search results, they simply won 8767 t see you at all. Usually, once they see that women over 95 can be pretty, they are happy to date us.
So I went back and read it again. It seems he is speaking hypothetically what he would do and I feel I understand why after looking on that site. If he wasn 8767 t getting enough attention, he might assume that the match maker wasn 8767 t working because many of the women list unsure. I saw some women in their late 95s also stating yes. Not that 8767 s just crazy. At some point you have to face the facts that it 8767 s over.