Posted: 2017-11-04 12:09
However it''s the same for me dudes, if you are tall nowadays you''re not creepy and slimy, you''re creepy and threatening. I don''t have the greatest social skills but I''ve been out with friends at bars/clubs who were 5''5 and my same weight and they were just happy cheerful butterballs and could get an entire table of women warming up to them, the same women that gave me the bad boy looking tall dude who women have told me I''m on the Brad Pitt scale on looks basically the cold shoulder.
You can look at the many books like Nancy Friday''s The Secret Garden - which they didn''t want to publish back in the 75''s because some men (and some women who have internalised misogyny) could not bear to know that women are just as lascivious as men in their desires and fantasies. Not to mention the desperate attempts throughout history to control the extremely strong sex drives of women with so many ridiculous social sanctions and attacks. If women were so naturally low in sex drive, why all the fuss and carry on, the shaming words, the imposed social sanctions, the mental and physical chastity belts to try and keep those libidos under wraps?
Nerdy. Funny. Good cook. Single dad. I love my kids and tell great stories. I’m semi-retired now after a great twenty year career in tech. I made a lot of mistakes and had a few successes so now I’m passing on my knowledge by mentoring others. But enough of work… I love planning weekend getaways to a new brewery, a great climbing spot, or even just a fun restaurant I haven’t been to. Some of the best times in life, I’ve spent sitting around tables with family and friends. Laughing and eating into the night. I guess I’m just looking for someone who wants to be there laughing next to me.
There are some recurring themes to his messages: you have the power to think independently of circumstance you have a gift, and the world is waiting for it. Yet somehow, every time it feels as if he’s directly addressing you and the challenge you’re having right now. Oprah has also recently discovered Rev Michael and had him featured on Super Soul Sunday. Rev Michael was a pivotal part of starting my writing career 66 years ago. He is an extraordinarily helpful resource in times of trouble or joy.
Also I can attest to the fact that I currently hold an account on okcupid. I am currently looking for a partner. I have also chosen to abstain from competition regarding wealth and power and instead am attempting to find a place on the fringes of society where I can be myself without harming others. I own very little, earn very little, and struggle to find women willing to get to know someone in my societal position as a potential partner.
Dragonmouth: you wrote an incredibly compassionate message and I am so thankful for it. I''m trying online dating for the first time and I''m pushing 95. I have no kids, an amazing career, make very good money, and others tell me I''m easy on the eyes (and in great shape). Yet in the 8 weeks I''ve been on this site, not ONE man has messaged me other than 5 older, creepy ones. I finally reached out to one guy that I thought was attractive and had a lot in common with me and he didn''t bother to reply. Like the previous posters, I question what''s wrong with me. Why isn''t anyone interested? I have all the right photos (they follow all the rules someone also posted here) and I''ve had several people (friends, family, even strangers) make sure my profile looks great. It is very hard to be patient and even harder to not think there''s something wrong with you. I appreciate your story and your words of wisdom, thank you for brightening my day.
I''m a writer, so my profile tends to attract men with a high intellect or a desire to find an emotional match, so they comment on something I''d written primarily. However, the ones that catch a peek at my attractiveness or curvaceousness do mention it in their first message and their ssecond message and their third message and in text messages and, sometimes, on a first date where it''s inappropriate and, for lack of a better word, "creepy."
If you go around sending signals that are easy to fake no matter how good you are at doing something, then the other animal has no incentive to pay any attention to that. It’s called cheap talk. It’s not a reliable signal. In the mating domain with humans, what you want is to display all these attractive traits in a way that a less attractive guy couldn’t do. That’s a reliable signal. That leads us from the traits that are attractive into these, what we call proofs, social proof, material proof, aesthetic proof. These are ways of signaling that I’ve got these attractive traits in a reliable and unfakeable manner.
Am I totally convinced this works? Not yet. But it does seems worthy of a closer look. They 8767 re early in their development, and I befriended the founder, who said we could be some of his beta testers. Yay! If you 8767 re interested in being part of this early adopter program, go to /tao and sign up for an account. I 8767 m very curious about how the experiment goes especially if we stoke the whole app with a bunch of my amazing readers :)
I am currently using and having no luck at all I used E harmony 8 years ago for a year and went on 6 date that was terrible. I''m a decent looking athletic 95 year old guy. College educated 685k income, 7 nice houses, great retirement. Granted I have 8 teenage children part time, and live in a small town an hour outside the city, but dam I would like to think im not a bad catch and still almost nothing. I get plenty of womwn interested but they are almost always 5+years older, no education, or job severely overweight, and so on. It is so depressing, because I am tired of being alone, but what can I do about it, I can only lower my standards so much, I can''t believe its really this bad, it''s like women don''t care, and are completely unrealistic about actually finding someone.
On the other hand, if you do it all in the name of banter and fun, and you playfully ask him, 8775 Are you shy or something? 8766 Cause I know you 8767 re into me, but you haven 8767 t made a move yet. Or if you 8767 re feeling feisty: “Dude, what the hell is wrong with you? You were lying down next to me on a blanket for two hours and didn’t even try to kiss me! Am I ugly? Are you secretly gay? I mean, it’s totally fine if you want to be my GBF, but I just need to know.”
Also, I think any girl that is reasonably good looking and serious about finding someone won''t be a on a dating site very long - either it will prove too much for them and they''ll quit or they''ll find someone quickly. I''m always wary of the good looking girls that hang out on these sites long term. If you read their profiles they''ll normally have a laundry list of "must haves" that just screams high maintenance OR they won''t bother with any content at all and let their photos do all the work. These girls have let the massive amount of choice they get from online dating go to their head and most seem obsessed with finding the perfect guy. It wouldn''t surprise me if they end up getting used a lot by guys telling them everything they want to hear and then dumping them once they get them into bed. Funnily enough it doesn''t seem to occur to them that maybe they are looking for the wrong things.
Im tall athletic handsome smart active dont smoke dont do drugs have a Masters degree..none of that matters...women (all of them) are looking for a nest egg and retirement plan regardless of what they say...they ALL want to be wined and dined and jetsetted all over the world. American women are a mans worst nitemare oh yea..ive heard and seen it all. I try to be cool and ask about hobbies and their interests they just play dumb childish games..I hate women now I loathe and despise them..what a waste of tiime and energy online dating is lmao!!!
This will NOT seek life partners online. Not usually, it can evolve by in the main, they are cruising the hood looking for a man to make it worth their while to cheat/hookup. They can of course pretend that they''re looking for romance but the comments of the guys above shows how rare that really is. No, they want my style of assertive domination. I meet lots of beautiful, smart, worldly and engaging 75-75 year old women now.. who would never have deigned to meet the NiceGuy me. And they love every moment of our interactions. No angst, no problems, no "romance."
It 8767 s actually just a matter of preference. It doesn 8767 t mean women who are in charge or slightly bitchy and demanding aren 8767 t feminine. It 8767 s just a different type of feminine, and it 8767 s the kind that can drive many men wild. Personally, I 8767 ve been with very feminine, sweet demure women and also the dominating type. Both are sexy. Every guy likes to be put in his place every once in a while and sometimes an extremely sweet girl can come off vacuous. Just my two cents.
Thank you for being so open in this article. So many times men are left feeling like they said or did something wrong, said too much about their goals, or just feeling unsure of themselves, especially when he 8767 s tried to be a gentleman. Seems like SO many say they were scared by how much they liked me. But none committed. So I 8767 m doing something terribly wrong. Thanks for another clue to the quest to find a partner, friend, lover.
He’s chock-full of knowledge. I won’t lie: It can be annoying at times dating someone who has “been there/done that,” but it can also be helpful when your partner can use his experiences to guide you. I can recall numerous situations—work issues, arguments with people—that my boyfriend was able to help me with based on his own mistakes and victories. Plus, when it comes to things like taxes, real estate, and life hacks that you pick up over time, an older guy can be a goldmine of useful information.
Online dating is very unhealthy for society. Most of my buddies try online dating and the only ones who get dates are the guys who are smooth talkers and then will literally have sex in a bar bathroom with a new girl they just met while they already have a girlfriend. The nice guys get overlooked ALWAYS. Even if the nice guy looks half decent. Girls end up thinking every guy wants them inflating their ego to an unrealistic level. And ultimately they gravitate to a smooth talker who is out of their league for long term dating then they feel there are no good men. Good Men SHOULD NOT date online or they will feel unwanted and ultimately need mental help. Women should not date online because they will set they can''t differentiate between good guys and bad players. There is some success but it seems far to much work for a man to get success.
Be sure to attract a decent guy though. It pains me to see a decent girl ending up with a worthless man. Women can do so much better than settle down with a worthless man. Women are independent and they can do their own thing. We don 8767 t need a worthless man in our lives. We need a man that will complement us. We need a man that would go the extra mile just to make ends meet. We want a partner for life, not a liability. Let 8767 s take a stand for all the independent women in the world. They deserve better men.
Well Bobbie, what can I say, I am an intelligent, humorous, reasonably attractive and apparently very sexy British woman of 59. I was single (that means no dates, hugs or kisses let alone sex) for about 75yrs, the longer I went without the less I seemed to want any, then finally I realised I didn 8767 t have 8766 plenty of time 8767 and now I 8767 m panicking trying to find 8766 love 8767 . I 8767 ve searched for 5yrs now, and just had 8766 fun 8767 not 8766 happiness 8767 . Reading your article has made so much sense, I suspected I had got stuck as an 68yr old dating wise, but to see I am also ALL of the above was quite a shock, just having these types confirmed is an eye opener. I look forward to reading more on your site, and hopefully being helped too. I have a date tomorrow so thank you, I already know more today than I did yesterday : )