Posted: 2017-09-12 06:40
As a guy who''s more successful in online dating than most men I just wanted to share my experience. I know, I''m technically adding to the very problem I''m complaining about by dating and sleeping with women I''m not attracted to. But, can you blame me if that''s usually all I can get online? Meet us halfway, you might find a guy who is amazing and will treat you with love and respect. There is a clear divide in what men and women can attain in terms of physical attractiveness online.
If you 8767 d like to know more S ay 8775 hi 8776 . I didn 8767 t reve A l a lot about my S elf for you to read on purpose. Rather we chat, talk, engage in conversation to get to know each other instead of us reading through a long page in this section about each other. Also, just because someone look S like a good match “on paper”, doesn 8767 t necessaril Y translate in reality.
Shiny things distract me, people-watching is a favorite pastime, I live for the moments you can 8767 t put into words, and few things transcend a cup of coffee and someone to share it with. On the weekends you can usually find me in a friend’s backyard, drinking a beer and waiting for something good to come off the grill but I love to use my Sundays to get out and exercise and get ready for the week ahead too.
I get turned off by guys base jumping, skiing in the Swiss Alps and all that jazz, even running, because that''s just not me. None of that stuff would interest me. If you play a sport like soccer, baseball, then perhaps. I am sure though there a lot of women into that sort of stuff. It''s just about odds really. I guess a lot of women just don''t care that men run around the block and jump out planes! But then again I''m sure there would be many women into that.
Do online dating websites work? Okay, it&rsquo s time to have an open and frank discussion about the battle of the sexes and the dating game. It&rsquo s far too complex, scary and difficult for mere mortals &ndash so let&rsquo s bridge the gap by asking both men and women what doesn&rsquo t work when it comes to online dating 9 Tools For Easier & Safer Online Dating [Google Chrome] 9 Tools For Easier & Safer Online Dating [Google Chrome] Dating has gone digital. Once considered a realm inhabited only by the socially awkward, online dating is now just another tool in the toolbox, no matter whether you&rsquo re looking for a hook-up or your soulmate.. Read More .
Making others believe that you are the perfect guy requires some thought and ingenuity in coming up with a catchy headline that will compel them to know more about you. Truth be told, the majority of potential candidates won’t even get into your profile as they will be heavily filtering their search results according to location, age and interests. Then they’re going to scrutinize the heading and glance at the photo. If they’re not satisfied with either one of them, they’re not going to even consider entering your profile.
In all reality, the odds are FAR better to actually meet someone at a bar, as much as we say we hate it. Because at a bar, a women is forced to acknowledge you if you have the nerve to go up and talk to her. Sure, she can still dismiss you and shut you down (or worse embarrass you). But for a brief instant there is the possibility the tone of your voice, the way you smile, the joke that you tell, how you stand, how you dress, etc, might appeal to her and let you keep talking. All those intangble things that nice guys are best at which are impossible to communicate with just a picture and text. It''s pretty sad really that nobody has invented a site where you are a VERIFIED nice guy, exluded of jerks. A safe place where women can go. Women who also are VERIFIED to be looking for what they say they are.
I want to approach women in the real world, but I get in my own way as a shy nerdy introvert who has a roommate (read, doesn''t have a private place to take a girl back to, if they were so inclined). It''s a lie that there''s someone out there for everyone. After all, if that were true, there wouldn''t be so many lonely people out there. Guess I need to just drop the sites and focus on trying to make myself happy in life without romance.
If you are fortunate enough to enter into a dialogue with a woman on one of these dating sites, actually take the time to carefully develop your words so they really express who you are as a person and what you''re looking for in a partner. Use humor too -- this isn''t a job interview for Pete''s sake. But at the same time don''t use inappropriate humor -- be cute, but not an idiot. Focus on emotional words -- express how you''re feeling about things at the moment. Are you an uncle? Did you just spend your weekend playing with your nieces and nephews and miss them already? Mention that. Are you anxious about something in your life? Excited? Sad? Talk about it -- the more emotion you show to the woman you''re chatting with, the more she''ll be able to gauge what kind of man you really are.
Ha, that 8767 s the EXACT kind of guy I spent most of my 75 8767 s desperately searching for online even the age range, I always wanted an older husband. All I ever found were guys my age who just wanted sex, and guys who claimed they wanted families but either didn 8767 t take me seriously because of how much I was, or were just saying that to get sex and didn 8767 t consider me hot enough to be the trophy girlfriend. (I 8767 m not fat or hideous, just somewhat plain.) I 8767 m now just about past childbearing age and have a house full of cats and reptiles with a guy 5 years than me who doesn 8767 t want kids (and we 8767 re too poor anyway so it 8767 s moot).
When the woman talks about being "terribly uncomfortable" just recalling how men in their 95s found her attractive at know some people obviously see the world that way but this is just absurd to me. Fair enough if they''re genuinely "creepy" (way overused word that sounds childish much of the time) messages, we all know the sort, but if it''s just that they''re 95 and that''s icky to you then set an age limit. As a 79 year old man, I don''t expect older women to not find me attractive because they''re old enough to be my mother I just hate the ''dirty old man'' fear trope, I don''t like the insinuations that they''re borderline rapists if they don''t pretend that 95 year old women are more attractive than 69 year old women regardless of how old your eyes are.
This isn 8767 t an online date, but one of my 8775 friends 8776 once got asked out by a pretty annoying guy over facebook messenger. She initially didn 8767 t respond. Then roughly 7 months later said she would happily get coffee with him as a friend. I found that so usually cruel at the time. I imagine getting that facebook message and a well written online dating rejection feel similar.
(we are no longer friends)
All of that can and should be applied to online dating as well. I hear these stories of getting d**k pics constantly and I had wondered how that happens none of the platforms allow images to be sent. Then I realized people were jumping into texting/off-site communications. And while there 8767 s nothing inherently wrong with that, and it doesn 8767 t mean it 8767 s your fault if someone gets aggressive or sends pics etc, it does make it easier to become a target. I don 8767 t even tell people my (extraordinarily unique) first name until I 8767 m sitting in front of them at coffee. I don 8767 t give them my phone number until after the first or second date, usually by texting them from the number they 8767 ve sent me in their offer to move things offline. I 8767 ve been doing this for 7 years and have never had any issues. I imagine many of the guys who have ghosted pre-date picked up on my intentions and figured I wasn 8767 t going to be amenable to their antics.
I’ll admit it, I’m a little old-fashioned when it comes to my dating style. I open doors and like to go for drinks AND dinner on the first date. But it’s all part of what makes me a gentleman. I’m looking for someone who is always up for life’s adventures but doesn’t mind staying in and watching a movie when the weather calls for it. I’m a sucker for dogs. I rescued a lab a few years back and we’ve been best pals ever since. I try to eat healthy but I have a major weakness for pizza. Let me know if you want to go get a slice!
While I 8767 m at it, I would add don 8767 t say 8775 my kids are my world, 8776 8775 my kids come first, 8776 etc. Just like coachj said about hookups, don 8767 t state the obvious that your kids come first. Anyone who doesn 8767 t get this isn 8767 t your target demographic anyway, and by stating it overtly, you 8767 re wasting space at best and looking like you 8767 re compensating for some insecurity about not actually being a good parent at worst. As to 8775 my kids are my world 8776 – is that really the message you want to send? I have kids and love them to death and they will always be my first priority over other people if it comes down to it. But, they 8767 re not my whole world. I do have a life independent of my children and I would expect a potential date to as well.
Now I''d ask that you reconsider your question. If your question was based upon a society of equals who were all knowledgeable, reasonable, autonomous and yet cooperative we could easily reason that people would treat each other with kindness and respect. However we''ve created a system of inequality in which the common citizen holds little if any power and instead lives by the whims of society at large. This system promotes competition as it is undeniably preferable to gain power and move up the social ladder.
Sure, most men are not into art. My suggestions were mostly geared toward those women who look for men who are above the average and who are not run of the mill average Joe from those women 8767 s perspective. I would hope that there are enough men out there who are above that line who are interested in art, philosophy, etc. This is extremely subjective of course, and there are plenty of girls who don 8767 t care for it.
What about the rampant lying about age, income, height and other things simply get into more peoples searches or attract more responses because people are shallow. I''ve read that some women won''t even bother with a man whose income is not high enough. LOL! So men lie about it try and get a shot and then it of course tanks. Or women lie about their age because they "feel and want to fall into a wider search. And then the man finds out.
I am not so much about looks or status myself. Trust me, I have quickly moved on to the next page with six-pack man, successful businessman etc. I personally find it really hard to find men that write a decent profile. I''m not saying they are not out there, I am just saying I have found it hard to find. I have found just a lot of simple profiles. I guess most men on dating sites are not my type. Not that they are bad, but they are just not my type and it shows because most men don''t contact me either.
“Work hard and play harder.” A little bit about me… I’m an active single dad who loves being outdoors as much as possible. I run 67 to 75 miles a week for exercise, but when I have the time, a long hike with someone is even better. I share custody of my two awesome kids so I usually have 7–8 free nights a week and every other weekend to meet new people and hang with friends. If you’re interested, let’s start chatting.