Posted: 2017-10-25 03:57
Your girl needs to fix that situation in my honest opinion because absentee dad will use your ire as a reason to cause drama and make himself into a victim 8775 just trying to see his child 8776 . It 8767 s frustrating and it pisses me off to no end because it happens a lot. Let 8767 s face it a lot of guys out here are sorry as hell, super-flawed bastards, who think that making a woman and a child wait while they take the time to grow the hell up is cool. It isn 8767 t, and while the child does need to have his/her biological dad, he needs to respect the fact that he hasn 8767 t been there, and you have.
A tragically simple outlook from a tragically simple person. you can 8767 t assume to know anyone else 8767 s situation, so how can you reason that the woman left the man, and abandoned what could be considered a 8775 traditional 8776 family? If you are a secure, rational person you are not second to the children, you are a part of the family. You only stand to gain in this situation if you have the right outlook. Not only do you get the love of the girlfriend, but you get the love and respect of the kids, and have the opportunity to positively influence a child 8767 s life. This is the best of several worlds in my opinion.
You can keep telling yourself that men have all these options all you want, Rusty. It doesn 8767 t change the fact that most women do not want to date someone who is out of their age range by more than 5-7 years. The reality is that most women want a peer, a partner someone to grow old with, not someone who will practically be ready for the retirement home by the time their kids graduate from high school. My point in saying that men need to wise up as much as women do, is that guys don 8767 t seem to realize that the longer they stay single, the harder it will be to find women who 8767 ve never been married and don 8767 t have any kids. And don 8767 t think that all you have to do to attract women who do fit the 8775 never-married, no kids 8776 criteria is to be fit and financially successful. Most women share my preference of not wanting to date someone who looks like he could be their father, regardless of how good he looks for his age, and how good of a job he has. I don 8767 t care if a guy is freakin 8767 Richard Branson, he is not someone I would consider for myself. 🙂
What Call Me later just said is he was seeing a girl who had a kid. He met the kid (the daughter) and he was repulsed because he thought the kid was a freak probably her behavior pushed him over the edge?
So now he considers all women with kids to be off-limits.
Many men feel this way. It 8767 s a lot easier for a man with kids to find a woman rather than a woman with kids to find a man.
I 8767 d like to think I will, but I doubt see, I walk through life without really caring about it. I was diagnosed with depression at fifteen. None of the available pills seem to work, and some of them make it worse, as hard to believe as it is. I 8767 ve been this way since I was five. I can enjoy things, but most of the time I 8767 m just apathetic. I don 8767 t get really happy. I can feel things, but I just can 8767 t bring myself to enjoy living. I 8767 m not suicidal, just woman changed that. She made me look forward to life, she reached through my haze of apathy and dragged me out. Now it feels like I 8767 ve been given a glimpse of how beautiful life is, just so that I 8767 d know exactly how good I can feel, then kicked back into my fog so that I can have the pain of knowing what I 8767 m missing.
But, I digress. I 8767 ve never felt this way about anyone, ever. I love my brothers and sister, would do anything for them. The way I feel about her, it makes that love seem weak and pale in comparison.
I believe that is where the number issue comes into to play, I personally love kids and have no problem dating women that have them within reason. Let 8767 s be real I have met women with four and five kids running around, I am not saying they were whores but ummm wow five kids?!!?! I really think it comes down to how the woman manages the situation, how she presents the guy she is dating to her kids and when have a lot to do with how things go. Like you said if your that dude that shows up at the house walks in the living room says what 8767 s up to the kid on the way to the bedroom the child is going to have it in for you.
Do not date a single mom specially if she has been married 7 times. If she has a kid boy or girl at home and there spoiled shit bags run. Your nothing more then a live in price of ass and your wallet is a ATM machine.. Really there 8767 re al the same most of them have mental issues and just plan to see how long you will put up with there shit before you bounce out.. It 8767 s part of there game.. These bitches need to get real and get a job
Your problem seems to be the traditions of your culture. Like you, your fiance is obeying his parent 8767 s by marrying. I dont know how you can make someone 8775 fall in love 8776 . You can either choose to go ahead with the marriage and risk a life of no love but with the possibility of peaceful co existence OR tell your parents you do not want to go ahead with the marriage. From what you wrote it sounds like you have some feelings for the guy.
Thanks for the advice man.
I feel played, because I wouldn 8767 t have put myself into this so much if she hadn 8767 t told me she loved me. She didn 8767 t throw off any red flags that I could see. She got married at eighteen because she got pregnant, and this is the Bible Belt. They divorced because she couldn 8767 t stand the infidelity. Her ex had nothing but good things to say about her. She adores her daughter.
Really the only red flag was that I wasn 8767 t her normal type.
I probably should have seen it coming, though. I 8767 m so far outside her normal type, it was hard to fathom why she liked me. I 8767 m introverted, intelligent, bookish, serious, quiet, not cocky, and bald. I 8767 m not the long-haired, hard-living, frivolous, arrogant, loud, redneck type. That being said, I 8767 m not a pushover or a weak person. I 8767 m just more of an introspective person. I prefer to listen and watch more than speak.
When someone has a child her kid comes first. Unless there is some dysfunctional situation where she is neglecting the child. My mom divorced when I was 9 from my then highly abusive father both alcoholics. My mom remarried some mean men she told me 8775 Blood is not thicker than water, 8776 as she neglected me and ran off with many men. I think the woman needs to first and foremost take care of herself and her child. Then dating a single mom would mean you are not first or second there so you are better off not dating one if you aren 8767 t ok with that and if you are jealous of the attention or time she gives her daughter. My step dad was jealous of any time I spent with my mom and he treated me like I was a piece of crap. It drove me away from her and them both. So, if you aren 8767 t a loving and compassionate kid-loving person don 8767 t even bother. It 8767 s sad for the kid and you won 8767 t be happy if you are number 6.
Second, single mothers are clearly really, really shitty at making life decisions. Having a child out of wedlock is pretty much the number one thing you can do to fuck up your life. You can pick up a heroin addiction, drop out of high school, rob a bank or decide to write the great American novel financing yourself on your credit cards. All of those things can be fixed. You can go to rehab, get your GED, get parole, and pay off those cards. But once you have a child, you cannot take it back. It’s done.
If a guy says he 8767 ll do anything for you and then calls late at night and begs you to come over, claiming to be too tired to make the drive over to your place, then he has a very loose definition of anything ! If he says he really cares about you and misses you but then goes days or weeks without calling or making time to see you because he 8767 s swamped at work, or some excuse along those lines, what he 8767 s really saying is you 8767 re not important enough to make time for.
Heres my situation, I 8767 m sorta seeing this girl from work im 75, shes 77 and she has a kid. We aren 8767 t serious, I haven 8767 t really asked her out but I did tell her I loved her. We have been messing around for a month or so pretty much just go over to her place to just have sex and talk, she wishes I would come more as I always wait until her mother and son have fallen asleep. I know im eventually goanna have to stop avoiding them both and say hi. I am not quite sure how to talk to a 8 year old in a cool. collected manner like what do I say and ask? 8775 im banging your mother 8776 ? please guys help me out
If we don 8767 t have their backs at all times, make them feel loved, secure, and safe, show up when it counts, be there when they need us, and give them the gift of our time, energy, and priority, who will? If they don 8767 t learn from us that family comes first, where will they learn it? Not from the men propositioning us on Tinder, meeting us for one-coffee wonder dates, texting for midnight booty calls, or expecting us to drop everything because they want our time and attention *right now.*
I agree however that the tone does not have to be harsh. I agree that this women is going to have it rough and following your example may be her best bet, because I am not sure she is going to be willing to accept that she can 8767 t have it all. Most women seem to bristly at that notion the notion of having to settle, and so long as she sees it as settling, it won 8767 t be very appealing to her. She will need a paradigm shift a change from finding the 8775 hot 8776 guys sexy, to finding the stable, unselfish guys as sexy, even of they don 8767 t have the pretty faces and hot bodies.
The only men I 8776 ve met who knock Valentines Day have been selfish, perpetually single men. Valentines Day takes 65 seconds to celebrate. A box of chocolate 8767 s , a card. Less than $75. Something small to show you care. Not a lot of effort. Jaded people think otherwise & complain about it. Small actions or inactions like this can sometimes show a mans character. Actions speak louder than can disagree but, that is my opinion & I 8767 m sticking to it.
Here is just just one example of a crazy single mother I know. In the last year years my best friend has been desperate to find a husband because her biological clock is ticking. However she is domineering bitch to her boyfriends and couldn 8767 t keep one very long. When it was clear that her last hope was going to break it off, she gave up and decided to try donor insemination. should point out that she worked a minimum wage jobs with little hope of promotion, I tired to tell her it would be reckless to bring a child into world under such conditions, but she was having none of it. Of course she started the processes while she was still dating the guy and after they broke up she found out she was pregnant. Now the poor guy is stuck paying child support for a child that might not be his/he didn 8767 t want with a person he hates. She said she will never till him about the insemination and if one day he wants to have custody she will fight tooth and nail against it. And all I can think of not is that this is the mentality of someone who ends of a single mother
I agree that they are different, but by what arbitrary decree are women supposed to be or allowed to be more selective? In this country, using the court system, a woman can straight wreck a man so men have just as much right to be selective. In fact only a fool is not selective. Nothing not one single thing can wreck your life like a woman can. Which is exactly why many men are opting out.
Does this mean you have to cancel mommy/daughter dates, break promises, or tolerate abuse toward your daughter? ABSOLUTELY NOT. But it does mean that you have to treat him like you value and respect him and he matters to you. You have to set boundaries for both him and her and make sure that you don 8767 t break your promises to either unless it 8767 s an emergency. And you must practice fairness with them BOTH. If your partner is the right one and he feels genuine love from you (and you make an effort to be sure she is showing him and your union respect), then the love for her will come naturally.
Selena, thanks for the compliment. As to me looking my age, I don 8767 t have an issue with that because I put it there for you to see so it of course informs your mind and influences. At the same time, I had a beard at that time, which because of the gray influences people 8767 s opinion. I have had many women tell me when I wear it that I should either shave it or color it because it ages me. I tend to shave it off after wearing it for a short time. Think of it as a woman with the most beautiful long hair, then cutting it off. For me it 8767 s the opposite. I just get the urge to grow it, wear it for a while, and then shave it.