Posted: 2017-12-08 02:10
Why was that? I wasn 8767 t really attracted to guys 8767 bare chests, so what was the big deal?
I think it embarrassed me! The fact that they were showing so much skin was embarrassing to me, and I didn 8767 t want to look at them for fear they might think I wasn 8767 t looking at THEM, but at their chests! The very fact that I felt the need to guard my eyes suggests something to me.
That said, that doesn 8767 t mean I think guys can get away with walking around half naked. If a guy isn 8767 t wearing a shirt somewhere other than the pool, beach or some other justifiable location, it looks like he 8767 s trying to get attention. If I can see underwear, it 8767 s not something that might lead to lust, it 8767 s just a little gross and doesn 8767 t seem tasteful or appropriate.
I also objectified women by viewing them as sexual objects. Ironically though, I was quite good at averting my eyes from 8775 immodest 8776 women. I had the terrible habit of thinking of women 8767 s bodies as gross while still fantasizing about having sex with them. I strongly agree with other people who have commented that it is NOT sinful for a man to appreciate the physical beauty of a woman. Rather than turning away from women who are 8775 immodest 8776 I should have learned to view them as people who need my respect, whether I agree with their clothing choices are not.
6. Shirtless guys at the pool never really bothered me. I mean, if I wasn 8767 t a girl, I would totally go shirtless as well. But don 8767 t wear those speedos unless your in the Olympics. Boxers that hang down and show off your underpants just are totally distracting as is that new pant style that lets the legs be tight and the butt of the jean be loose(I don 8767 t know exactly what they are called). Another thing I found mildly distracting in college was the 8766 muscle shirt to the extreme 8767 or the 8766 I couldn 8767 t afford to buy a tank top that covers the side of my body 8767 look.
However, someone brought up shirts and going shirtless, pointing out that many guys at water parks and pools wear shirts. The commenter seemed to think that this is a sign of modesty. It isn 8767 t. Nine times out of ten or more it is a sign of insecurity. I 8767 ve talked to teenage guys and was one up until a few days ago. If they wear a shirt in the water, it is because they think their stomach is fat or their chest weak. Personally, I used to wear a shirt at the pool or beach because I have a build that is of average-ish strength but unimpressive looks. My forearm is mostly skin and bone. My biceps are the size of some of my friends 8767 forearms. Not too long ago you could count my ribs. Again, average-ish strength but packed into a very wiry frame. I turned out to be much stronger than a guy with a more traditional muscular 8775 manly 8776 build just recently, which surprised the daylights out of him. But yeah, I was insecure, so I wore a shirt to hide my apparent weakness.
The thing that bothers me most, as far as immodesty for guys goes (though I don 8767 t see it as an enormous issue necessarily), is not when boxers are showing but when too much skin is, at the top of pants. Whether it 8767 s with jeans, a swimsuit, or whatever, I don 8767 t like seeing the contours of a guy 8767 s waist leading into the pelvic area, when that leaves so little up to the imagination. I don 8767 t want to be harsh, or awkward, but I know that can be a major stumbling block for many girls.
Answer to Questions
6) Men dressing: wearing their pants low or to high.
When playing sports with girls, please keep your shirt on it makes it easier to focus on the game and be good competition.
Acting: 8775 godly men do not try to conquer purity, but give their lives to protect it. 8776 Eric Ludy.
It is always pleasant to be around a man who looks you in the eyes and talks to you as another human being and is NOT letting his eyes wander. He is civil, but guarded not flirty, but friendly.
Answering your third question: one way I think men can miss it on modesty is the way they treat women. If they treat them like another guy it can cause the woman to want to react like another guy and act rougher and more manly like. A lot of women are naturally sporty,strong and confident and there is nothing wrong with that (as long as THEY stay modest) but women always want to be treated with respect. I think some men just need to be more careful about how they 8775 play around 8776 with woman. Woman notice a difference in the ones who treat them like a woman and the ones who get treat them like another guy.
As a girl, I 8767 d like to thank-you for addressing this topic. It 8767 s not talked about nearly enough.
I 8767 ve always made it a point to be modest, because I wanted to honour God with my body. But I 8767 d never really thought about modesty for guys, because frankly it was never a topic that anyone talked about. While girls would be told to cover-up during the hot summer months, guys would be completely free to do whatever they wanted.
I can 8767 t speak for all women, but for me the biggest thing is being careful how you talk and act around us. It 8767 s good to be kind, respectful and chivalrous but try to draw the line before it might be seen as flirtatious. I know that 8767 s hard, but I think most girls appreciate being treated with kindness and respect and can tell when your actions show that you want to honour God and your sisters in Christ instead of flirt. You need to know that we really appreciate when you make the effort, even though we don 8767 t say so. However, unless a girl happens to be your girlfriend/fiance/wife, please don 8767 t single her out or give her any special attention, because, in my experience, those are the things that really get a girl 8767 s attention and cause her to keep thinking about you.
Perhaps someone has already addressed this in the comment section, but as we 8767 re realizing more and more everyday, sexual attraction isn 8767 t simply a guy/girl thing. This may be a truth that some feel uncomfortable with, but we must also remember that we have brothers and sisters who are wrestling with SSA. I wonder how the conversation would change if we included this in our thought process and lived in charity toward all around us regardless of their gender or sexual orientation.
Awesome! I love to write and read too! My writing consists of blogging or writing novels. And I read a LOT of different things. I 8767 m currently re-reading Through Gates of Splendor by Elizabeth Elliot. Incredible story. My mom is into the crafty stuff, so I 8767 ve dabbled in a lot of things. Card making, jewelry making (though I think the proper term for what we do is bead weaving), knitting, cross stitching, crocheting and that 8767 s just the stuff I 8767 ve done with her. I don 8767 t really have the patience for that kind of thing, though. I also do some photography and drawing, casually. That 8767 s all that pops into my head at the moment, but I may just tell you more as I remember them, haha. XD
To be honest, I have problems with the Modesty Survey too. It wasn 8767 t Alex or my idea. We didn 8767 t write the questions or any of the answers. At the time we didn 8767 t have a very mature understanding of modesty or the pitfalls surrounding it. Moreover, many of the ladies who submitted questions had the dangerous idea that they were dressing for men (rather than for God) and some of the men who responded had the dangerous idea that immodest women caused them to lust.
Oh, my goodness! While I don 8767 t personally struggle with anything mentioned in your first paragraph, I can totally relate to everything said in the second one. I have no older brothers, and only one brother who is 7, so what I think is that I 8767 m just not an extremely visual person. But I 8767 m very in-tune with people 8767 s attitudes and how they act much of the time, and you put it perfectly! Would you mind if I shared what you wrote with some friend? I will make sure to give you credit for penning it Or, actually, typing it God Bless!
You 8767 re right, a guy 8767 s lust is his own choice, not yours. But modesty is a matter of love and respect toward our fellow humans in their own journeys and struggles. And it 8767 s a matter of obedience to God. When my parents said, 8775 Don 8767 t cross the road 8776 I obeyed not because I felt like it, necessarily, but because I knew (subconsciously) that they had a better understanding of life than I did. To display the glory of our bodies and our hearts frivolously, is to walk on dangerous ground. Our beauty your beauty is worth much more than that. Only one guy deserves to see just how beautiful you are (inwardly and outwardly): your husband.
I find discussions on modesty like this to be both absolutely hilarious and slightly disturbing. It seems like every ultra-conservative guy or gal considers something 8775 immodest 8776 that the average person would think is completely silly. For example, someone in this thread said that a guy wearing pants should not sit with his legs open. You have got to be kidding me, right? Then there are other people who would have the whole world swim in baggy pants and longs sleeve shirts, just so they don 8767 t have to be 8775 tempted 8776 by the natural beauty of the human body while at the beach! Modesty is pure silliness that has no basis in philosophy. I 8767 m so glad I got out of this culture of shame.
Do I think women can dress modestly and beautifully? Of course! Modesty doesn 8767 t mean making yourself as ugly as possible. It 8767 s preserving the complete glory of your body for the wonderful intimacy of marriage. (This applies emotionally as well, and also to men). People who take the liberty to enjoy this glory outside of marriage won 8767 t treasure it at it 8767 s value inside of marriage. But you can dress in a beautiful way and still be modest.
7. Modesty isn 8767 t just on how a person dresses. I find that some guys just 8766 act 8767 immodest, just as a girl parading in a one piece is as immodest as a girl parading in a bikini. Its the heart that really matters. If you are full of yourself, and you want girls to lust after you, girls can tell and some will. Also, flirting is a dangerous business for a girl. I think we are in more danger of psychologically lusting than guys do. ( romance novels are extremely lust-causing for most of us.) At least, that 8767 s what I 8767 ve found from my few years as an adolescent female.
Due to how women have been continually sexualized more than men over the years, it has become a double-edged sword for women to dress in an 8775 immodest 8776 way. To the worldly society, if women are covering up so much, they 8767 re considered prude, and if they are covering up so less, they 8767 re considered an attention seeker. This also affects how victims have become the convicts themselves because the way they dress 8775 lure men 8776 to sexually harassing them. It is social conditioning and the sinful nature of this world that creates this sort of bias. As Christians, whether we 8767 re a man or a woman, we must all live according to what God has commanded us and glorify Him in all that we do. Christian men must continually treat women of the same respect, as Christian women must continually not conform to this world 8767 s ideals of beauty but of God 8767 s.
I have never looked at modesty this way I have always thought that modesty was just a girl issue. But now that you 8767 ve pointed it out, i believe you are right. There are things that boys wear that can be immodest. Not everyone will agree with me on this one, i know, but when guys lift up their shirts a little bit for some 8775 air 8776 just enough for everyone to see their abs, that can be immodest as well as if guys wear to short shorts. That doesn 8767 t happen too often and I don 8767 t think it will make a girl 8775 lust 8776 but I believe it is inappropriate. Also I don 8767 t think guys should be walking around with no shirt on unless if at the pool or beach.