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Men and women mix freely in all countries except those that have a high population of Muslims. It 8767 s in the countries where the Muslim men and women are separate they they have a serious problem with gays and bisexuals and of boys, men groping women and raping women. It 8767 s crazy that women can 8767 t feel safe amid men who claim to be Muslim because those men act like barbarians. You 8767 d think they were back in the day when men rode by a woman, swooped her up, rode off with her and her. People need to be able to police themselves, but of course in countries in which Muslim men treat women as worthless and property, it can 8767 t be done.

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If you really really want to date/marry a Pakistani or foreign origin man then look for someone who is well settled in your country, whose family (yes its important FAMILY) is westernized, who is earning well and also divorced himself. That will rule out a lot of risk factors. Even better marry someone from your own country and culture. Only Western men can truly accept their step kids as their own.

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On the other hand, you could opt not to marry him. You could put the life you had with him behind you, and move forward in your life without him. There is a chance you 8767 ll fall in love with someone else someday. Love isn 8767 t the be all and end all in a marriage although it helps to have love. There is more to life. You may not be as madly in love with another man in the future, but the marriage could still be rich and rewarding.

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I empathise with you I was in the same situation, I am also from south Africa, I lost my husband and I felt extremely lonely, had two children to bring up on my own, I lost a friend , soul mate and the love of my life, until I met the Pakistani man, he knew what I was going through because I told him I just lost my husband, he then told me he lost his mother and he could not go for her funeral I felt very sad for him and I began to trust him and fell for all his lies, little did I know his mother was alive and well in Pakistan, she was not dead, he lied to me so that I could trust him, don 8767 t be fooled by these men they know how to use people .  You said he does not have money to  chat with how is he going to survive in South Africa with no money, Is he going to let you stay with him and make you pay for all his expenses. think carefully, all your hard work will be spent on a man with selfish intentions , all these men tend to be very charming at first. Trust in what you believe and make the right decision. All the best

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One day her husband may say he has to go back to Pakistan for a visit. While there, he marries someone else. The someone else most likely is his first cousin. He says his mother made him do it. Furthermore, he gives the foreign wife excuses as to why he could not defy his mother. Although the reason is cultural, he may say it 8767 s Islam. He’s got it twisted. It has absolutely nothing to do with Islam.

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Thank you again for the information. I 8767 m tracking. All that you said makes total sense to me. I understand what you said about the Indian men not adjusting to the wife 8767 s culture, but it the other way around. It 8767 s virtually impossible for a man from a male dominated country who 8767 s indoctrinated that way to change to be submissive to the women or adopt her way. I agree that the western women probably think the Indian culture is cool initially and think they will adapt easily. I could see how there would be clashes between them eventually.

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Maybe you don 8767 t want to go back to your native country, where ever it is, but you certainly, without a doubt, do not want to go to Pakistan. You said you don 8767 t want a divorce. I could understand you love your husband, and do not want a divorce. If your husband wants one, what can you do to stop him? You could stay married to him, but if he won 8767 t see you or talk to you, what is left for you to do? What good is being married to him?

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Gail has spent a far bit of time in Pakistan,she has the most knowledge with fair & lovely creams used to get white you did a background or character check,just like in PAKISTAN done before you handover your sister or daughter that what company does or people does he or she for your son have or sits or stands in,drunk,narcotics,gambler,womeniser or go to brothels etc your case you said that you checked in NY,that his record in not there that he is married or divorced,better check again,because he can have you as a co- he is a serial LIAR now,you are a good girl/women,run the other way like their is fire in your feet These humans DON 8767 T care about you let us know,which area(City) of PK does he belongs,as that plays a big role with some parts or cities residents/people are the worst than gutters/ me!

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I also wanted to make a counter-point to what try-hard pakistani men defender Umair said just 8775 checking up 8776 on a pakistani man does jack-squat. As mentioned, Pakistan is full of liars and cheaters. To wit, the people in a guy 8767 s community or those who he knows that a person may check with and ask questions of could be
6. paid off to tell only good things
7. hate the person being asked about and will lie

I should not say that all Pakistani men marry cousins they do marry outside their families but as a rule they mainly marry can ask him as well,More than likely his mom and dad r cousins or other brother and sisters have married in case u don 8767 t know if he is Syed they don 8767 t allow their woman to marry anyone but a Syed which is very strange and it is very very husband is Syed Shia and u better think because when u bring kids into the mix it is just another animal in my opinion they don 8767 t make good from my own experience and hearing other women 8767 s stories on the that is something to consider as well.

Zahra,I couldn 8767 t give more personal use to hear these stories of foreign women getting used for Pyar,which means love in Urdu but for PR in that country(Short Cut) way in 85 8767 s & 95 8767 s but now due to Internet/technology you know about people before setting a foot on the land or women have changed their religion,left families & you use them with what image of Islam have become Christians to marry as marrying a local girl is the short cut way,divorce her bring your real wife from PK,mostly cousin or not Gail said many family members don 8767 t even know he has a secret wife,let alone the girl who he is marrying.

If he 8767 s willing to marry, maybe she should go with it. She should just be prepared for surprises, and be willing to accept whatever may happen (such as a cousin wife). She first has to get to first base with the marriage. I recommend ashes gives him no more time past June. June will be here before she knows it. I suggest she listen to know excuse from him. We could only make suggestions and recommendations. Allah as already decided what it will be.

Women have a tendency to think that just becuz they are foreign to the Pakistani man that they are special. What makes any woman think she is better than the Pakistani woman? If the Pakistani man treats the Pakistani women like sh!t, he will treat all women the same way. He simply charmes the pants off the foreign woman. When she 8767 s hooked, he lets his true colors show. He reveals himself. It 8767 s a bit too late then. They school those men.

Allah doesn 8767 t tell Muslim they could marry the very people who reject him and turn away from Him the very people He will send to the Hell Fire. He says the non-Muslims would lead a Muslim astray. He did not say 8775 may 8776 , 8775 possibly will 8776 or anything like it. He says 8775 WILL 8776 . A Muslim is going to follow the non-Muslim 8767 s lead and we 8767 ve seen it here with some of the non-Muslim females who are married to Muslim males. The 8775 Muslim 8776 male follows the non-Muslim woman 8767 s way and raise their children to be non-Muslims.

As much as I would like for Pakistani women to come forward and speak on this blog, the same as you do, I think it 8767 s wishful thinking at best. Many probably don 8767 t care enough about the problem, as they are down with it (in agreement) or they fear acid will be thrown in their faces they 8767 ll get shot in the head or thrown in prison for speaking out against their people. The only Pakistani women who are safe from repercussions such as it are women such as 8775 Spirited 8776 who was born and raised in America. The problem we speak of seems larger than life. Nothing, you, I and all put together on this blog could do to make a dent in trying to work on the problem. Look at the Pakistani girl who got shot in the head, 8775 Malala 8776 . She won the Nobel Peace Prize. People in Pakistan condemned her for it. They 8767 ve ostracized her.

Many women are in love with the concept of love. They get lost in a fairy-tale world made up in their heads. They live in their heads. I know what you 8767 re talking about when you said you met your husband after talking a year with him on the internet and your feelings for him were different once you met him face to face. When I was non-Muslim and out there dating, I 8767 d talk with someone on the phone or got set up on a blind date. I thought I had good feelings about the person, but as soon as I saw the person those feeling vanished. It happens. Women need to start living in the real world. I guess the same as I had to experience it for myself, others must as well. I thank Allah it didn 8767 t go as far as marriage.

Some women convert/revert to Islam to marry a Muslim man. A person gets what they accepted Islam for. If the person took Shahadah to marry a Muslim man, all she gets is the man. Shahadah is a covenant a person makes with Allah. Accepting Islam should only be about Allah. The person who took the Shahadah will be accountable for it. They think it 8767 s a simple matter, but to play with Allah is a HUGE matter.

Why should the Pakistani man change his life for you? Is it because he loves you? Well, apparently, he loves his wife, as well. Furthermore, the same could go for you. Change your life for him because you love him. You 8767 re trying to make something fit that can 8767 t Muslim and Christian. You 8767 re trying to fit a square peg in a round hole. One has to let go of his or her way of life and go with the other. You can 8767 t have it both ways.

He seemed nice but I am really skeptical. He is properly educated but sure he has a bad temper which is super scary. Maybe he wanted me cz Im timid and obedient little girl. But Im gonna f*** him big time if things gets more clearer to me. One thing he told me there will be no more facebook thingy after marriage. So the isolation shit is true. I even told him straight away I don 8767 t want kids yet. And he do agree with that.

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