Posted: 2017-09-11 10:17
Women dont send dick pics to guys. That''s why we are not creepy. If men didn''t immediately make everything sexual they might have better luck. I never get guys that ask me about my interest or hobbies. A lot of the men are their own worst enemy. Its their APPROACH that is not working. Guys rant in their profiles. They have few good clear photos or they choose photos with other women in there (and dont crop them out). Most guys put very little effort into their profiles and then they are shocked women aren''t interested. I''ve also had guys get angry because I didn''t respond FAST enough. A lot of men come across as bitter, self-absorbed, shallow, perverted, womanizer. They can be the nicest person but if they display any of those qualities they wont get the time of day.
My favorite moment is when they stop messaging in the middle of conversation. You try again and again but there is no response although she''s online, like she had a heart attack suddenly. Another one is when they don''t show up. First date and without any warning just no show. Then no response of course. Love those moments especially when they call men creeps. After several contacts like this in the row, men can start acting creepy, I guess. They learn very quickly to not give any respect to women because they are not going to get it back even when everything is going very well.
Well, I''m not there yet but I get pissed sometimes, it''s nothing like in real life.
Finding a match on an online dating site takes a lot of work, especially since most sites today are overrun by scammers. That said, for most people who are no longer in school, they are probably still the best ''focused and pro-active'' option. Yes, you are likely to be disappointed, to be hurt along the way, but then I suspect that even though you were married before you left school, you still had your heart broken once or twice before you met your wife. And yes, it is possible to meet people in church, at meet-ups and other special interest activities. However, a good many people you will meet in any of those places have no interest in finding a new partner.
This will NOT seek life partners online. Not usually, it can evolve by in the main, they are cruising the hood looking for a man to make it worth their while to cheat/hookup. They can of course pretend that they''re looking for romance but the comments of the guys above shows how rare that really is. No, they want my style of assertive domination. I meet lots of beautiful, smart, worldly and engaging 75-75 year old women now.. who would never have deigned to meet the NiceGuy me. And they love every moment of our interactions. No angst, no problems, no "romance."
Then I started talking to my female friends. They all had pretty good conversation rates, getting anywhere from 5-75 messages per day. And their conversations tended to last if they wanted it to. What I realized was the dynamic was completely different women naturally start becoming a lot more arbitrarily selective because of this constant initiation. If you don''t stand out with your picture as a man you''re doomed to failure: all the Marissa''s in the world will think of the best looking man that they''ve slept with, say "given the field I can do better", and move on without a second thought. Whether or not you would be a great fit, whether or not you''re a secret agent or a millionaire. It''s totally arbitrary.
As to the creepy responses. Some may be legit creepy but a lot of them are jaded men who know that writing a well thought out response is an utter waste of time for them, especially older men. That said the older men are just living in denial about the reality the women by in large do not want them all. Same for older gay men. Yes it''s partly ageism "Ewww he could be my father". But that''s because they are an don''t understand that really what would you talk about, you pop culture connections would be so out of date for them (unless you luck out with an old soul). Also another reason for short messages is because guys HAVE ALWAYS by in large done it short and sweet. Think about the cheesy pick up lines or conversation starters at a bar. They are not deep probing question that want to know more about why you are in medieval crossbow shooting.
Certainly this could be attributed to my actions. However having lived through the experience I can attest that I strove to make her feel loved and accepted as she was. Ultimately what I''ve come to understand is that she has not yet learned to accept herself. I believe this is incredibly common in our society. After all our marketing systems have done a very thorough job of setting impossible and often inane ideals and as we are both aware the primary victims are women.
Online dating is very unhealthy for society. Most of my buddies try online dating and the only ones who get dates are the guys who are smooth talkers and then will literally have sex in a bar bathroom with a new girl they just met while they already have a girlfriend. The nice guys get overlooked ALWAYS. Even if the nice guy looks half decent. Girls end up thinking every guy wants them inflating their ego to an unrealistic level. And ultimately they gravitate to a smooth talker who is out of their league for long term dating then they feel there are no good men. Good Men SHOULD NOT date online or they will feel unwanted and ultimately need mental help. Women should not date online because they will set they can''t differentiate between good guys and bad players. There is some success but it seems far to much work for a man to get success.
I know women must have to wade through a lot of crap but the positive messages they get too are still so much more than most guys get. Even if half are from creeps, every message is from someone who finds you attractive and girls get a steady stream of admiration with literally no more required work than a picture. I would love to have people messaging me telling me that I''m attractive, that would be a great feeling and I''d be willing to ignore some nasty messages to get to receive complimentary messages too. Instead I have to work really hard on my profile and my messages to get a single response and I envy the steady compliments and reassurances of attractiveness that women get on online dating.
Lastly for some people even if you get prospective buyers to look beyond your pictures, and look at your profile or message you, you may just not be a good writer and that can SUUUUCCCKKK in on-line dating. SO my advice is get some help writing your profile and somewhere in the profile or in your messages say something along the lines of, "I''ve never been good are writing what I want to say I much better person to person". And get to the date as soon as possible. NEVER write, "I don''t know what to say/put here." Never.
He does exist. He comes to the village, impregnates all women and goes away. To another village. Then he comes back next year. Women are programmed to have children with the best men they can find. That''s natural selection. I''m not blaming anyone. The rest of life is a bunch of different stories, some are funny, some are happy but half of them are sad. And now because of the computers are running dating scene, we have data to prove it. I think that this is first stage, we just noticed that something is wrong.
There''s another guy on here who''s bragging about getting laid by women he barely knows. It''s following a shallow lifestyle to be after people "who attract you". There are more important things in life than the outward appearance. A person''s character traits are important. Honesty, respect, love, loyalty, dependable, reliable are all decent traits to have. Being with a woman for a long time says that you have been dependable and loyal. I''m sorry that happened to you.
For a large society to function social stratification must be present. When a population expands beyond a relatively small number it is impossible for everyone to have an equal voice as the time and energy requirements would preclude the accomplishment of the necessary workloads. To skirt this issue society requires managerial positions and base labor or worker positions. Just as managers help organize workers the governing of society requires the same type of organization.
I am Ms Jones. I messaged MANY men first. I am beautiful, kind and intelligent. I used the dating site in every way possible. It is not accurate to say that all women get tons of fabulous messages and wonderful invitations from countless fabulous men. There are lots of sketchy guys out the there. After 8 years, for my own protection and peace of mind, I felt it was best that I remove my profile. That''s how many "super great" guys I connected with. They were all very strange and I am reluctant to try Internet dating ever again. It was a very stressful experience sharing information with perfect strangers from the Internet. My personal dating experiences were not great and one in particular was disturbing.
BTW - I met my wife through a dating service, back in the days when the questionnaires were paper and the matching was done by a mainframe. She did not have a Miss Universe looks or Einstein IQ or a corporate vice president''s income. But she did have a very pleasant personality. I''m sure I did not posses all the attributes of her knight in shining armor. It wasn''t "love at first sight." But we liked each other very much. We have been together now almost 78 years. We''ve had our ups and we''ve had our downs but, unless something unforseen happens, we plan to stay together to the end.
It has become clear to me with the passing of the years that my knowledge and understanding are very limited much to my own consternation. However I will do my best to explain the situation as I see it. My answer will likely seem off topic and possibly confusing. Unfortunately the real issue, as is almost always the case with problems we are facing today, exists far beyond the usual scope of answers proffered.
Online dating is ridiculous for men. My day starts with rejection and ends with rejection. Women are too worried about a mans exterior appearance that it blinds them to everything else. I''ve been doing online dating for a few years now and have met some women, but most of the messages I receive are from women I''m not physically attracted to. After talking with buddies women seem to ignore every man, so who are they talking to? Online dating isn''t just harder for men, it''s much harder. It''s men doing the vast majority of work and women sitting there filtering thru and rejecting all the nice guys that she complains about not existing.
My contention is that inequality and competition are the precursors of societies ills. Men mistreating women certainly but more to the point people mistreating each other for gain. It seems odd to think that men seeking a partner would act as many so often do but it is important to remember we''re not dealing with intellectually compassionate equals. We''re dealing with generations of people that have been bred to compete with one another and ultimately not see each other as equals but as enemies of a sort. We''re not killing each other (for the most part at least within our own society) but we are competing for limited resources to our own detriment.
I''ve had the same experience as you''ve said. I don''t understand it. They keep ignoring everything I say to them about myself. They become fixated on the picture, even though my profile says I don''t think I''m wonderful and my hair looks awful. They don''t read it at all. I''m a whole person and this is wasting my time. I''m still at home on a Saturday night. If I''m that gorgeous (I don''t think I am), why aren''t they asking me out? I''ve tried to prompt them and get nowhere. Are they shy? Are they feeling inadequate? I can deal with that if the person is interested. If you can''t get past that to find out, then I give up.
The best way to get your foot in the door is to find something in their profile to start a conversation about. Ask them an open-ended question so they start talking about that and themselves. Say they list Adele as one of the musicians they like. You could say something like, "What do you think of Adele''s new album (whatever)? I think her best effort on it was (whatever song) because. What is your opinion?"
Just an example. I mean at least it shows you read her profile AND it is a conversation starter.