Posted: 2017-10-12 09:07
What you have to realize as a guy is that weirdly enough there are literally thousands of male profiles that have handsome guys educated to doctorate level on these sites. Just take a look for yourself. This means that no woman would even consider your profile if you a) don''t have a doctorate b) don''t look at least ''ok'' but the doctorate is the clincher. Its just as if when us guys look at profiles on these sites if there were thousands of porn star hot profiles on the site and you had some chance of having them reply to you, you wouldn''t even think about wasting your time with a quite pretty girl who was really nice. Unfortunately It''s as simple as that. It''s not cos you or I are mean it just would be lunacy if you found a hot model liked you and you liked her to go for someone else. That is what these girls are all effectively facing from their point of view a dating site chock full of the most attractive guys so why bother on the rest. Not only that but even for the doctorate level entries they don''t get women hitting on then out of the blue every 5 minutes. Try it make a fake profile and you''ll see what I mean.
What makes any female dating profile great is the fact that it stands out from the rest of the profiles on any given online dating site. It doesn 8767 t blend in. It 8767 s not generic, neutral and overly politically correct. It doesn 8767 t describe you with overused adjectives such as 8775 intelligent, compassionate, educated, and independent 8776 and it is free of boring statements that say nothing such as 8775 I am as comfortable staying in as staying out. 8776
Again, I am not limiting myself to only gorgeous women, but I do need to feel SOME sense of attraction, and some women have just not taken care of themselves as I know some men have not either. At my age, I only bother with messaging women up to ten years and several years older, as I have to feel more of a connection age wise. I hate to be harsh, but the years are harsh on some women. Again, a woman does not have to be gorgeous at all, but if my first feeling is that a woman''s picture depicts someone who was a woman in a previous life, then I naturally go to the next profile. Since I still enjoy cross country skiing and cycling, then women who have interests limited to restaurants and being a spectator, then I likewise will pass, regardless of attraction.
I met someone at the beginning of my travels, and well simply put, it was an amazing connections. Unfortunately, I had another 9 months of travelling planned. We kept in touch the whole time. From my point of view, he was the one making the effort to contact me and was never afraid to say what he felt (even wanted to fly & visit me). Of course it was returned and we happily shared an equal 8766 I really like you and can 8767 t wait until we can see each other again 8767 .
My boyfriend saids I always say shit to piss him off and he saids I do it on purpose I can say or ask him anything and he saids I 8767 m rud no matter how sweet I 8767 m being well we got into a fight and I started packing my clothes to leave and he grabed my arm really hard a pushed me down. This is the 8rd time he also saids that I make him want to smash my face I be worried about these threats.
It has become clear to me with the passing of the years that my knowledge and understanding are very limited much to my own consternation. However I will do my best to explain the situation as I see it. My answer will likely seem off topic and possibly confusing. Unfortunately the real issue, as is almost always the case with problems we are facing today, exists far beyond the usual scope of answers proffered.
7). Dated other guy 8 times and I knew he was quite a bit than me. Through talking about his family I am starting to think this guy is REALLY than I am. So I ask him how old he is and he wouldn 8767 t tell me. He asked me to guess and I gave a number and he said 8775 around that 8776 so now I am getting more concerned. I asked about 9 more times, really nicely, kind of teasing him, and indicated I thought we had a pretty big age gap, offered to tell him my age (he kept saying no, it didn 8767 t matter), finally I told him I needed to know how old he was. He tells me and I am 75 years older than him!! Then he turns it around on me and starts saying 8775 you must really have a problem with my age because you asked so many times so if you still want to go out with me, call me 8776 . I wasn 8767 t even sure how much it bothered me, but I did think it was important information to be considered. But he acted so offended that I should care how old he is that I started questioning myself on whether I had the right to ask! Help!
FACE We want to see a picture of your face without being overly made up, with a smile, and not a grainy, unclear photo with bad lighting. I might stress the 8766 overly-made-up 8767 part. We don 8767 t want to see duck face, weird angles, or funny snapchat filters. We don 8767 t need pouty, moody or other types of expressions just a smile. And you should include at least two different face pictures that were taken at different times, but taken within the last month.
Now I am at the end of my 9 months and I am going to stay with him for a few weeks, as we planned. But the contact has been less and less frequent the closer it comes to my arrival. He still seems excited, but I can only presume his obvious lack of contact means he is less interested now. I can not figure out when/what happened for it to be so different. I put forward some semi-serious questions recently, but it was in fairness, a retaliation of the months of seriousness build up he was giving me. And now I really do feel like the crazy one wanting more contact and wearing this silly negative hat, before anything has even happened.
I love this article. It 8767 s true, it 8767 s not the problem of being available is bad, because if you are done with a half marathon and your phone happens to ring, and it 8767 s him, you should answer! But if you are always available, at the computer, hiding next to your phone, it means you aren 8767 t doing anything exciting, and then you talk to him about his hobbies and music and you just follow along and try to become him.
My problem hasn''t been so much with the issues mentioned in the article..I don''t know what it''s like in other areas, but when I search dating sites in my area, it is the same people on there all the time, year after year. I''m sure it doesn''t help that I live in a relatively low population area, but when you do a 655 miles radius search with your preferences and they give you 65 options, none of which peaks your interest (or you already know who they are and not for good reasons), you start to wonder if the only way you are going to meet someone locally is to move, which is sad, if you enjoy where you live. One thing I am most tired of is feeling like I''m reading the same profile over and over. ''Cliches'' is a good word to sum up the majority of really becomes a bore. You know what I mean."ask me anything" " I have kids and they are my number 6. if you don''t like it, move on!!!" "No games" "Im an open book"... the minute I start reading and see one, I next. Yeah, I have grown quite cynical of online dating, both with the men I have met in real life and the profiles I have seen.
I 8767 m sorry for the time you have wasted with this man. However, he has told you straight out that there is no future with him. Believe him and move on, start healing and find someone better suited to you. I don 8767 t think that he is nearly as upset as you are. You will find someone who wwants a future with you. Take this as a learning opportunity and move on. Know your worth as a strong woman. Don 8767 t waste anymore time wishing for things that WILL NOT happen. We all have our lessons to learn, this is one of yours unfortunately. Sorry 🙁
Yeah, online dating sucks. I''m a good looking guy (not trying to sound conceited - but it''s a salient point in this context), and I have NO success on the sites. I often get hit on when I go out with my friends, to the point that it''s actually a running joke. Yet no girls - I mean none - respond to my messages on dating sites. And my messages are absolutely fine. Never creepy. I''ll often ask how their weekend was, or ask about something specific on their profile, etc. Totally normal stuff - yet - responses. It''s madness. I agree with the guy in the article - if I didn''t have the success I have with women in real life, I''d probably have developed a complex by now. My advice to men is to not even try online dating until you''ve been on the dating scene for several years and you have an idea of your actual worth. Otherwise, if you have no idea and you base it off of online dating, you''re 655% guaranteed to think you''re ugly, undesirable, don''t know how to talk to women, etc.
Geoffrey Miller : Another really common theme in the questions we got for the Mating Grounds Podcast was guys would call in with a question that could be easily answered if they just take in a few minutes to put themselves in women’s shoes and ask, “What is it like to be a woman? Why is she reacting this way?” We go step by step through the things about female life and experience that a lot of guys don’t understand.
I don 8767 t know what to do. I 8767 m currently pregnant with my fiance. When we first met he was great everything I ever wanted but I came to find out he was on hardcore drugs. After going to jail and being clean now he has anger problems because he isn 8767 t taking anything. He has threatened to kill me twice and today just told me he was going to punch me in my nose in public while i 8767 m almost 8 months. The one time we were in an argument and I didn 8767 t want to talk to him while we were driving home so he kept literally poking me and telling me he would grab the steering wheel and kill us both if I didn 8767 t answer. I did hit him first but I 8767 m a lot smaller then him. When I found out I was pregnant we got into an argument and he choked me until I was turning blue in the face, twice. I 8767 m scared to tell my family because I don 8767 t want the baby to be without a father but I also don 8767 t want him/her to be in an abusive family which is what I went through. I find myself putting my head down a lot and scared to be in his presence more often.
For someone to truly connect with another person and feel completely content with another they must first know and accept themselves. In my forty plus years in America I believe that to be a rarity. I have known people of all ages including countless couples who seem to have a better grasp on celebrities lives than they do on their own. I can count perhaps a handful of people I''ve met who have formed their own systems of belief. The vast majority have simply accepted whatever belief system they were fed without question.
It 8767 s counter-intuitive, but the more we do for other people, the more invested WE become in THEM. But we believe that by doing things for them will somehow make them more invested in us
Doesn 8767 t work that way the more we do for the other person, the more wrapped up and invested in them we become. Which is why it 8767 s important to give the other person room to come to you so that they 8767 re investing in you, too.
Giving them the opportunity to reach for you isn 8767 t selfish or cruel or mean-spirited it 8767 s actually the most considerate thing you can do. Instead of looking at it like them doing things for you, you 8767 re more accurately giving them the opportunity to invest in you and grow to like you more.
When you see it that way, you 8767 ll be able to relax and not feel the need to do things for them in hopes that they 8767 ll like you or try to remove all burdens from them to make them 8775 comfortable 8776 . Giving them the opportunity to like you by giving them space is a very selfless thing to do, actually.
Hint - no woman, anywhere exists for your approval or disapproval. They don''t care. At all. What you think. There is nothing you can do about that. Your opinion is not relevant to almost the entire human race. If you are exceptionally attractive you might manage to get someone to date you once or twice (because, despite the lies you have been told, women are equally visual to men and equally willing to ignore common sense to date someone hot).
Married to a south american. Jealousy was an issue, that was flamed by our sexual addiction. It became the underlying current of rage and indifference. We had our emotional problems..shame from her sexual abuse and mine from acting out with porn. We were friends, companions, but we never communicated well on our issues. They just were pushed aside hoping to go away. Mistake. 69 years difference in age, and initial promises of no kids changed, as I feared it would. I had mine, she became obessesed with the need. A dog would not do. I shut down, she became childlike. It was a scary scenario. She is now happy with her 65 year goofy looking millionaire man, in CT, getting ready for the baby path. I always knew she was an opportunist. I wish her well.
Most women start out more mature than most men for cultural and biological reasons. That changes about mid-85s as societal pressures force neurotic thinking into every corner of the media messaging women get. Also what was once a support group for growing up and understanding the opposite sex putrefies over decades into a cheering squad for each person 8767 s destructive behavior. Replace your sense of entitlement with a sense of depth, caring, and curiosity. And look for a man who is doing the same.