Posted: 2017-10-12 10:52
Another approach I am trying is to get involved with community events and groups. But once again, very few, if any women attend what I tend to go to, let alone any who are in my age group and meet other modest criteria, none having to do with "looks". For instance, I go to a drum circle (the only one within 85 miles of me). Of available women who show up (a few unavailable do), it is pretty much just one in her 85s along with over twenty guys. Women tend to do things like Zumba, dance, yoga or other exercise classes where if I showed up, it would be creepy since it will be assumed I am there for only one reason. I would love it if I would be accepted as a drummer for belly or tribal dance, but alas, the same creep factor seems to be at play.
Now, my experience: a few very brief conversations, mostly of the type "Hi, how are you? What are you doing?" from women who initiated and not one about my interests or anything in my profile. If I try to go deeper at all, they either disappear or keep repeating themselves (probably catfishers since other things about their profiles make their seeking me unrealistic). Then, I have had a couple go a few sentences longer, but almost all have ended. Unfortunately, one had a legitimate mental disorder from traumatic brain injury. I tried to make this one work, but we just could never connect. One other one is so far away, I am still seeing where it goes. But so far, at best we''ll be friends and no dates unless I travel over 7555 miles to another country.
I also have to commend you on how you''ve dealt with a comments section that''s filled with all the vitriol that comes along with an article about women''s perspectives. While these comments have fueled a sense of misanthropy that commenters have instilled in me lately, I''m very proud to be part of a group of authors at MakeUseOf who are unafraid to put themselves out there and discuss issues that immediately bring out the worst in people (and patiently, gently, and effectively deal with the predictably disgusting responses).
This is ineresting. Its more difficult for older women. some men are still tring to act like teenagers. And yes I have seen more than my share of men with an erect penis trying to impress me. Finally, I have just given up on online dating for awhile. I started to get angry about the way men treat women online. I beieva I am a good person and unfortunately some great man will never know because he'' afraid to take a chance. And there are scammers on all the sites. I''ve run across them on every site I have been on.
I don''t know what to do about the jerks. I think a lower percentage of guys that are like this are out there. But for some reason these idiots are taking up all of the dating bandwidth. And about the only thing I can see nice guys who really want this to work bringing to the table is to just not get bitter and disappointed. I don''t know, it is really hard to see how to break this cycle that is destroying online dating for the majority of us. It would be helpful to know that possibly a new kind etiquette be understood by women that repeat messages that are nice should be acceptable and that we men kindly engage them with these that we get a chance to overcome the idiots by countering them somehow. Also, maybe people could work up some kind of meta-dating situation (something like responding to websites about online dating or, as I said above, some kind of rating system)?
I have been divorced for almost 65 years and have used various websites for dating including free ones such as POF n OkCupid and match and most recently I am 98 years old and I''m looking for something serious. I have made what I''m looking for known clearly from the start. I''m also not a bad looking lady who has a professional office job and and no larger than a size 8. I usually date men who are a few years than me or a few years older than me and from what I can find at this stage is that the men are using online sites as if the women were hookers. They no longer seem to have respect for women they tell lies they lead you on by saying that they too are looking for something long term to only leave after a few weeks or a month and a half that''s all I can seem to find out there and I have been looking for years now.
Anyway, what I am seeing is a growing disconnect and a lot of people getting disgruntled. I have to admit I was too in the beginning. I think it is because one develops expectations based on statistics instead of reality. I thought, at first, "wow, so many women to see who I really am"! Statistically speaking, I should get a few responses. So I start examining the numbers game and thought I could play a little with it.
The problem with these men being dicks is that this works. It sucks. It is annoying. But it gets them results and, in my male opinion, it gets them further than men who are gentlemanly. i know this through personal experience (i''ve had an OKC and a POF off and on for an embarrassing amount of years and have been mildly unsuccessful) and through person anecdotes (i have known guys who are these type of people and it works for them and it is why they do it). Send enough messages out like these, and at least one of them is bound to bring you results.
But online dating is different for men and women Online Dating - Men Don''t Get It And Women Don''t Understand Online Dating - Men Don''t Get It And Women Don''t Understand Do online dating websites work? It''s time for a frank discussion! What I learned from interviews was that online dating is equally painful for men and for women, but for very different reasons. Read More . As the saying goes: &ldquo Men are afraid women will laugh at them. Women are afraid men will kill them.&rdquo
I wouldn`t take the online dating thing too personally! Lots of good n bad on it. It`s no better or worse than pubs or clubs anyway. You know there could be a good reason why you haven`t had much luck in the dating scene - honestly, it is because you really are very pretty & guys are too scared to ask you out!! Seriously!! I`m not joking. But alas, I`m too old for you at 97, and I live in Sydney & hate planes!!
First, I ALWAYS read a woman''s profile. I want to be strategic about this, right? I try to throw in a little humor if I can, but my first message, if there is something in her profile, ALWAYS contains at least one if not a few references to hers. I write in complete sentences and try to seek ways to spark a conversation. I make no lewd comments whatsoever. I don''t even reference anything about looks (except once and that was a weak moment on my part since she her picture affected me that way, plus it was an experiment to see if venturing there yielded anything different).
Don''t think women don''t go through this too. Unless you''re in the top 6-7% in looks or in their 75s, if a woman writes a man, she will get ignored too. Those that don''t ignore us are just looking for sex.. It isn''t a competition. It sucks for both genders. And, let''s not even talk about how bad Black women and Asian guys have it. If any people have the right to complain about online dating, it''s them because, from what I''ve read, it''s truly awful for them.
Some good suggestions on what to watch out for and how to be respectful online. The sense of pseudonymity that the Internet gives can bring out the worst in some (and not just on dating sites…), but it can also bring out the best in folks who (for a variety of reasons) have a tough time interacting face-to-face. Sifting through the questionable and downright creepy can be time-consuming and depressing, but it can also open up potentially great opportunities.
One of the hidden powers of the internet is that it can collect information as well as display it. The vast majority of men on these sites are not good enough for the desires of the vast majority of women, and despite "equality," men are expected to do the work, all of it. Many, many good men see that they are ignored by girls who are still looking for the hunks, and they check out. Some are still there, and will catch these women when "they''re ready to settle down," but most will be too bitter and too wise to settle for a former party girl.
To women who think that men that get no responses on dating sites are genetic losers or something, you couldnt be more wrong. I get a lot of attention from women outside, im 6 foot 7 and confident and women respond a lot to it. I also look better in real life than on a selfie, id need a professional photographer almost to make me look how I look at myself in the mirror(thats what others see anyway).
I verified that he was in fact a police officer because he works in a nearby town and everything is public information online anyway. The first night we went out he did spend quite a bit of money as we met for drinks and then had dinner and then saw live music at the same venue. We kissed that night and talked the next day and decided to set up a second date for less than a week later at which point he said that he couldn''t be spending so much money and that if I felt comfortable I could go to his house and he would cook me dinner.
The female you used was a doughy, 75 year old Asian/Hispanic chick in Southern California at that? I''m not surprised at your results. The men weren''t feisty with your profile because it''s not what they are lusting after. Men are only angry at profiles of the trophy girls who respond with iciness, insults or silence. She must be thin, usually blonde with light eyes, primarily Caucasian. Use that profile pic and you''ll see the firestorm of interest. With the chick you used the men will only be nice because they''re not ego invested in her at all. Also you didn''t turn any of the men down to get a response. So you didn''t give them a reason to invest in you. Just wait until you turn guys down as a blonde. That''s when you better put up your photon force fields.
the next day he was acting differently than he had been acting the past 8 days or so by not being as responsive and not seeking me out. So when we texted I had accused him of being on a date and I told him that I did not appreciate the f''ing games. The next night was supposed to be our third date and when I texted him to tell him what time he could come over he said he had thought about our conversation and that it wasn''t going to work so here I am sitting in my car by myself on what would have been our third date writing to all who are out there in an attempt to get this heartache off of my shoulders because I feel that everything went great and did I use a bad word? sure but do people argue? of course they do. and other than that I didn''t think there was anything that wouldn''t lead up to another date certainly not for him to just say it wasn''t going to work at all.
I''ve had way more success than most men on dating sites. Most of the women I''ve met just want casual sex, typically one night stands. My last two girlfriends from POF were abusive and one pretended to be pregnant. Most women I''ve chatted to without meeting just wanted an ego boost or to talk to "friends" (on a dating site!). Any woman is going to get a ton more genuine guys than a man will get genuine women. It''s a numbers game and the numbers will always favour the girls. Let''s hear about how terrible it is for women.
As a man who has NEVER had a date from the 8 (main) sites I have used, I can categorically say that even if you read a profile, send a nice message and be pretty much, charming. Us "men" get ignored or blocked. I have been blocked many times for just being interested about a lady''s profile. I don''t say anything sexual and I am always polite. I will be honest and say that women are just BORED. They want someone to chat to and, when they get bored, there''s always 655 more men to choose from. Women will get around 655 messages every few days. They may be crappy messages but it''s still a message. I left a dating site for a MONTH and got 8 profile views. No messages. All I see woman say on profiles is how men pester them with sexual comments and, if they are not sexual, all they say is "hi".