Posted: 2017-11-14 10:18
And for those women that get intimidated because men might set their search pool for ladies age 85-55, it doesn’t mean 85-88 in reality, it means 85-55! So if you’re 55, write us back already. We have to set the floor somewhere, and that floor is usually past prime child bearing years for guys my age. Ladies: pay attention to what he 8767 s sharing here please! And SD: don 8767 t give up. There are so many fabulous single women out there. You are all trying to figure out how to date in the 76st century. There are lots of challenges. But never, ever give up. Keep learning and being your best, real self. You 8767 ll find love. Bp
For what it s worth, as a guy of average height, it never occurred to me until I started reading online personals that height was A Thing that anyone would be concerned about in relation to physical attraction. Maybe it s because I m kind of oblivious, or maybe it s because I was really skinny growing up and made my peace a long, long time ago with the idea that the women I dated were very likely to be larger than me in some respect. Anyway, I can t be the only one out there who doesn t give a crap either way!
I would say they definitely erred on the side of not sharing their insecurities and not using self-deprecating humor. I understand the appeal of that kind of humor myself (as I personally have quite low self-esteem, and sometimes it just feels too overwhelmingly like lying to say or even convey Yeah, I m awesome! What of it? ) Where I tended to connect to these guys was more sharing how we felt about exterior rather than interior events, if that makes sense.
I m fine with the idea of not dating certain people because of their height, but throwing a fit about it after going out for a while is just beyond moronic. I ve dated several women taller than me, and I never had an issue with them being in heels. Granted, the height difference was never more than an inch or two, but if anything I d argue that made the extra heel height more significant.
I 8767 m an accountant, 5 8767 5 8797 8776 , 665 pounds, not as in good shape as id like, cultured and traveled, raised my 68 year old daughter on my own, I don 8767 t believe I 8767 m agressive and don 8767 t expect anyone to serve me. I truly believe in respect, sharing and building a life together.
I 8767 m certain there are plenty of good men out there, but somehow I feel I hit a brick wall.
Should I color my hair blonde and lose 65 pounds? Lol
I actually rather disagree with this. I think with a larger pool, you re just going to find more people who could give a rat s ass about height. I haven t found many men interested in me (a heavier woman) in real life or at least, not many who will approach me, which may be due to having their friends around, societal pressure, etc. But I ve been approached but many more online, because all of that stuff goes away. And while I ve gotten boring messages, overtly sexual messages, copypasta messages, and messages that make no sense, I usually don t get messages right off the bat that insult my appearance/weight maybe this is just because I portray myself as a complete goofball? (Of course, if I say thanks but no thanks , then the ur so fat n stupd n uglee comments come out)
fizkes/Shutterstock One of the top traits men (and women) are looking for when they're dating is kindness. (Here are the other top traits.) And the number one they avoid like the plague? Dishonesty. It's a broad term, but any kind of dishonesty should be an immediate deal breaker, according to New York psychotherapist, Melissa Divaris Thompson. That includes lying, failing to disclose, or concealing anything else on this list of deal breakers.
I have to admit, this whole think tall, aspire to people seeing you as tall thing annoys me a bit. It s a conflation of height with things that people associate with height, and then attempting to reverse that so that if you have the associations you also have the height and easily extends to an implication that if you are not being seen as tall, you are failing on other fronts.
I don 8767 t know if some of the points raised are altogether valid. I 8767 m a woman and I 8767 m from UK, I 8767 ve found American men, to be dishonest, lacking strength of character, self absorbed and believing their own hype. It 8767 s funny. Very uncultured in regards to understanding and relating to not only someone from a different continent, but also a different race. I also live in NY, joined the US Army, accomplished a myriad of things in my life and raised two children alone.
Been through a host of ups and downs, and carry my balls in my bag! Lol. I 8767 m a no nonsense type of woman, that values integrity, strength and honesty in a man.
Perhaps it 8767 s a cultural thing that I 8767 ve not meshed well with US men? Or as some of my friends say you can see the guy feeling intimidated as soon as I mention I 8767 m in the US Army.. Perhsps it 8767 s the English accent? Who knows but whatever it is.. The men need to be men and stop hiding.
I think this can 8767 t be a comprehensive collection, lol! What about the snoooor the lady who has done everything right in life, is extremely good on paper, yet no chemistry. I don 8767 t know for sure, because I 8767 m not quite in my forties. but I feel pretty hopeless at 85 Figure lots of guys are writing me off because they 8767 d have to get me preggers tomorrow to have a family. Forget it entirely if there is no chance of having a family. So, in my humble opinion, women over 95 should probably be willing to put up with more bullshit, and willing to date divorcees and men with children Even at 87, the best guy I could find had two children.
Yeah, exactly. I don t respond quite often because what would be the point of messaging to say, So sorry, not into you. Kthnxbai, and when I have responded before to guys saying I m not interested, a majority of them responded with threats and terribleness. I don t feel bad when guys say how shitty it is to not get a response because a majority of the time women aren t responding because of the extreme amount of men who threaten and put them down when they do respond. I m sorry, but thinking silence is absolutely terrible is nothing compared to the fact that I ve been told to kill myself and had guys give me a list of all the reasons why I m worthless just because I m not interested.
Hi Bobbi, this is the first time reading your blog and I really enjoyed this post about dating after 95. I totally identified with the Wow Me Woman (!) I 8767 m in my late 95 8767 s, single, never been married. And I have always looked for that guy who will give me butterflies. I found him twice in my life but they never worked or lasted. Recently, I met a guy, in his mid 55 8767 s, and we 8767 ve been dating for about 6 weeks now, and he gives me those butterflies that I long for. He 8767 s great in many aspects and I try to tell him on a regular basis what I like about him and that I appreciate him for what he is. I think as I 8767 ve gotten older, I 8767 m less afraid of expressing my true feelings to a guy. I figure, what the heck? if he can 8767 t handle it at 55yo then he 8767 s not the one for me. Thanks for your writings and I 8767 m looking forward to reading more.
However, nearly impossible to shake biological urges, and in conflict. The conflict is understanding the logical aspect of value in this and how it is self defeating at this point in life, yet on an emotional level, it almost seems to be a factor of disappointment to the fact that things could have been different, and that 8775 I 8767 m giving up too easily 8776 . So, I almost resent this decision to remain as I am, for the greater benefit.
andy, this is why I haven 8767 t had a single offer from anyone for over 65 years, I 8767 m judged as physically ugly all the time, even in my 75 8767 s I had this problem almost all of the time. maybe also why I experience over 6/9 of women trying to pick fights with me for the way that I dance (more often I 8767 m sober also as I don 8767 t often drink alcohol now, at age 89, I still maintain gym shape, and healthier foods, go to social dance events and I sense hatred from even the females who dance there maybe the uk just isn 8767 t for me as I don 8767 t get such horrible experiences abroad anywhere near as much I 8767 m really not the aggressive thug/matcho type of man and in the uk, this can be also met with maligning disgust from even the average person)
I m not sgoch, but I d say try not being self deprecating. I make those kinds of jokes about myself too, and I ve discovered that even though they are funny, not everyone feels comfortable around them. I have stopped making such jokes when people first meet me and I don t find it not being me. It s just not being all of me in one go. You can absolutely start telling those jokes little by little as you get to know each other. Self deprecating jokes work best with people who already know you well, or in stand up comedy where it doesn t matter what people think of you. So yeah, maybe just try not to tell those kinds of jokes or put yourself down in the first few dates. You don t have to be overly peppy and smiley, just don t do those few things at first.
Your case is a great example: 5 9 is about average height for a man, and at that height it s easy to come across as even taller with the right attitude. In real life, your height is only an issue if you make it one. But on dating sites, women who automatically filter out anyone under six feet (a preference I personally don t get, but whatever) aren t going to realize this, because they re never even going to meet you.
Iakov Filimonov/Shutterstock Dating and life coach, Jonathan Bennett says that "if a woman can't stay off her phone while on the date, that's it. It's a non-starter." Ryan, the single model, actor and entrepreneur, got quite frank with us about bad manners in the bathroom. While admitting that men should always put the toilet seat down, he also said that it's a deal breaker if a woman can't be bothered to wrap up her used tampon in tissue paper.
If I made a wish list of ideal characteristics, my preference would be that a man is several inches taller than I am, but that doesn t mean that I can t possibly be attracted to a man who is shorter than that. I have dated many who are shorter than my ideal. I think most men would also prefer a woman who is several inches shorter than themselves and nearly everyone would prefer someone who is thin/fit, but if you look around, you ll see plenty of partnered people who are short, fat, or both.
But regardless of the woman 8767 s height, it 8767 s important to own your own. Yes, being tall brings advantages in society nobody is arguing that it doesn 8767 t. But lacking an advantage in one area doesn 8767 t invalidate success in other areas. Height is attractive, but it isn 8767 t the only attractive feature. Bringing your best, most charming and confident self is the greatest dating advantage of all.
will be providing you with just this kind of gender intelligence without the embarrassment that comes with retrieving it from your girlfriend's magazine rack. We'll be publishing a series of features from articles originally written by women for women, but with insight that's invaluable to men. Of course, in exchange, we had to offer up some intelligence of our own. all the more reason for you to get on the inside track as soon as you can.