Posted: 2017-10-13 11:43
I am currently using and having no luck at all I used E harmony 8 years ago for a year and went on 6 date that was terrible. I'm a decent looking athletic 95 year old guy. College educated 685k income, 7 nice houses, great retirement. Granted I have 8 teenage children part time, and live in a small town an hour outside the city, but dam I would like to think im not a bad catch and still almost nothing. I get plenty of womwn interested but they are almost always 5+years older, no education, or job severely overweight, and so on. It is so depressing, because I am tired of being alone, but what can I do about it, I can only lower my standards so much, I can't believe its really this bad, it's like women don't care, and are completely unrealistic about actually finding someone.
Eric: Yes. Stop ignoring all of us. You know, guys get accused a lot of being superficial and basing everything on looks, but I can&rsquo t help thinking that most of these women just file quickly through a guy&rsquo s photos and then fly right on to the next one without actually getting to know what the guy is like. It&rsquo s so frustrating, because you know, I think a lot of really nice guys out there could make for amazing boyfriends who would treat these lonely, single women like they deserve to be treated. Instead, you know, I think a lot of them are still hung up on hunting for the bad boys, the smooth-talkers. I don&rsquo t know what more a nice guy can do, but I do know it would be nice if some of these women would at least give us a chance to show what we have to offer.
The prospect of a secure future: Russian women understand that the standard of living in Russia leaves much to be desired. At the same time, they want their children to be happy and would be glad to provide them with a secure future in a country with a high standard of living.
The point is this - they don't have to WORK to get attention. Attention comes to them, both good and bad. If they post a picture with them in a swimsuit, they are going to get some pretty bad attention. If they instead post of picture of them praying in a church, they are likely to get a different kind of attention. They do have some control, and some means of filtering and directing what attention they want, at least to some degree. Nice guys don't have that option. We have to put our best pictures out there. The most attractive. The most interesting. Our profiles must be perfect. Our messages must be interesting, eye catching. It's pretty unfair when you really think about it.
On Richard's comment to guys about looking at other guys profiles, that only works to a certain extent or based on luck too. It's more about seeing other profile examples to see what might work or not work for you. But one would never know how well the other guys profiles are unless you happen to be or become friends with them to find out. So in the end you try out things and see how it goes in that regards to seeing other guys profiles.
My contention is that inequality and competition are the precursors of societies ills. Men mistreating women certainly but more to the point people mistreating each other for gain. It seems odd to think that men seeking a partner would act as many so often do but it is important to remember we're not dealing with intellectually compassionate equals. We're dealing with generations of people that have been bred to compete with one another and ultimately not see each other as equals but as enemies of a sort. We're not killing each other (for the most part at least within our own society) but we are competing for limited resources to our own detriment.
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I've tried POF and am currently using OkCupid. I've gotten to speak with a few women, but only have met one outside of the digital world and we found that we didn't really connect. Which is my main problem thus far with the sites lack of connection. I can think of plenty of reasons why women wouldn't respond to me, but for those who do, we just can't seem to connect. Eventually, we seem to run out of things to chat about, and the conversations die off.
I've yet to find a real dating site. What is missing from all these sites is the social aspect. almost has it. They have their "events", but they are few and far apart. A dating site should be where people.. wait for it.. TALK. interact, have people exchange their opinions and see if they are compatible. Hell, even have them play some games together as ice breakers. Instead of have this computer assume that just because you like Rock n Roll and she likes Jazz that you can't be together. We are a complex creature, we want to be challenged. We want to learn and get new experiences. Maybe he will love Jazz, maybe she'll love Rock. Maybe they will never love each other's music, but they will love each other because of their deep secret love for Captain Crunch cereal! However, without trying, or interacting, we will not know. Is there a risk? Of course, there is a risk at love. But, all good things come with a bit of risk after all. The faster people accept this, the faster you will find what you are looking for.
I am reading this guy Eric's situation and it is EXACTLY the same as mine and from what I can gather, thousands upon thousands of guys out there.
For sure a lot of the girls are "saying" they want the nice guy but end up looking for the guy they have spent an entire paragraph saying they do NOT want. Not all girls are this way though.
I truly believe that a MASSIVE amount of the blame can go to the guys who act like asses and the girls who let them get away with it. Clearly it works on some girls so these jerks continue to try until they find that girl.
Also a lot of girls need to lose the attitude, I mean seriously no matter how good looking you "think" you are, if your head is up your butt you are going to come out looking like poop.
It is sad because I myself am an average/decent looking guy, look far than my age of 89 and am as nice as can be. Yet I will get not one single response out of 85 messages.
This will NOT seek life partners online. Not usually, it can evolve by in the main, they are cruising the hood looking for a man to make it worth their while to cheat/hookup. They can of course pretend that they're looking for romance but the comments of the guys above shows how rare that really is. No, they want my style of assertive domination. I meet lots of beautiful, smart, worldly and engaging 75-75 year old women now.. who would never have deigned to meet the NiceGuy me. And they love every moment of our interactions. No angst, no problems, no "romance."
Do online dating websites work? Okay, it&rsquo s time to have an open and frank discussion about the battle of the sexes and the dating game. It&rsquo s far too complex, scary and difficult for mere mortals &ndash so let&rsquo s bridge the gap by asking both men and women what doesn&rsquo t work when it comes to online dating 9 Tools For Easier & Safer Online Dating [Google Chrome] 9 Tools For Easier & Safer Online Dating [Google Chrome] Dating has gone digital. Once considered a realm inhabited only by the socially awkward, online dating is now just another tool in the toolbox, no matter whether you&rsquo re looking for a hook-up or your soulmate.. Read More .
If only a simple Hello would suffice, because reading a dozen ENTIRE profiles every day is time consuming and a little draining on the mind. That isn't even considering that I then need to choose which women I feel I could bond with over either similar outlooks on life or common interests and goals. If only looks were all that mattered, or better yet if looks didn't even matter. Alas they do, and everybody is attracted to people with similar genetic markers to themselves. If the world weren't like that though, we'd join a site and be done the next day.
Agree totally. The way women present themselves provokes how men will react. When I see genuine and cute profile, I try to be as well mannered as possible, I don't want to loose this opportunity. But when I see a woman that I don't like and she's a bit off, like desperate or bitchy, then my first idea is to ask her if she agrees to have sex with me, nothing else. I don't do it because I'm fully aware that it doesn't work that way and I simply don't message her. But this illustrates the difference between my messages based on women's profiles.
There are some very interesting posts here. For the ladies I would say I'm sorry that you have to put up with so many rude, insulting, crass men and their messages. Very unfortunate, but most likely the culmination of a cultural whirlwind that has swept over the land the last 55 years or so.
I typically respond to messages from women that I have no interest in and do so in a polite manner, encouraging them to stick with it as it takes time to find the right person online.
However, I don't think the online dating model is productive, for all the reasons mentioned in the posts below. And to those that say that millions of people have met and married via online dating sites, I say prove it with hard data, not conclusory statements bereft of evidence.
There's another guy on here who's bragging about getting laid by women he barely knows. It's following a shallow lifestyle to be after people "who attract you". There are more important things in life than the outward appearance. A person's character traits are important. Honesty, respect, love, loyalty, dependable, reliable are all decent traits to have. Being with a woman for a long time says that you have been dependable and loyal. I'm sorry that happened to you.
BTW - I met my wife through a dating service, back in the days when the questionnaires were paper and the matching was done by a mainframe. She did not have a Miss Universe looks or Einstein IQ or a corporate vice president's income. But she did have a very pleasant personality. I'm sure I did not posses all the attributes of her knight in shining armor. It wasn't "love at first sight." But we liked each other very much. We have been together now almost 78 years. We've had our ups and we've had our downs but, unless something unforseen happens, we plan to stay together to the end.
Lastly for some people even if you get prospective buyers to look beyond your pictures, and look at your profile or message you, you may just not be a good writer and that can SUUUUCCCKKK in on-line dating. SO my advice is get some help writing your profile and somewhere in the profile or in your messages say something along the lines of, "I've never been good are writing what I want to say I much better person to person". And get to the date as soon as possible. NEVER write, "I don't know what to say/put here." Never.
I agree Finn. I spent 7 years with a Mormon and couldn't adjust to religious differences, though I gave it a fair shot. We romantically fell in love. His faith put tremendous pressure on us to start a family, and after we married, I found out I couldn't have children based on health reasons. That was the beginning of the end. It was heart-rending. On a dating site I can see when having kids is a deal-breaker for a perspective mate.
The female orgasm is very easy. Friction on clitoris. Mechanical, just like men's. Since women are human beings just as men are, this is no surprise. Massages/candles not required. Unfortunately, after a few years easy sexual arousal for women requires a new partner. Of course, women CAN still have an orgasm, even if they don't find you arousing any more, with a bit of work. Monogamy, though difficult for women, is possible.