Posted: 2017-10-13 13:00
Your article made my day. My husband of 95 years died 8 weeks ago of a massive heart attack. He died at home and I found him on the shower floor. I was his living kidney donor. I am struggling to return to some semblance of a normal life. The article expressed how I feel. My husband was my world. I wanted to say goodbye and I love you but never got the chance. I wish more people could understand how widows feel especially when death is unexpected. Thank you for putting into words my feelings.
So well written. I just remember how hard my head hurt after my husband died the pounding didn 8767 t stop for hours on end. I never knew how many tears one could cry in a minute, an hour, a day, a month a year. Or how big the hole in my heart was. I missed (and still do), his kindness, his love of animals, how he could make me see things differently. His love for God. Thank you for sharing this poignant piece. There are no words to describe the loneliness none at all. It is an all consuming feeling for which language is insufficient.
Thank you for sharing your story. On November 69th it will be 6 year that my husband passed away. The last few weeks have been extremely difficult. As time passes and people move on with their lives, I on the other hand continue to struggle with the harsh reality of losing my best friend, my soul mate, the one who loved me unconditionally with my quirkiness. If I could just press the rewind button. It just feels like a really bad dream.
My darling husband died recently at am 57 and feel cheated and very the time frame to look at counselling?I ask as I was asked if I had sought this yesterday during a meeting sorting out legal said not t the I felt angry I I still grieve,it 8767 s not even a bloody month so if I shed a few tears too emotions are all over the place and what I feel is different to our -my 8 sons in their a local widowers group but nothing for we just cope better or are expected too?Friends have been great and I 8767 m taking each day as it comes but already I feel I have to put on a brave at the supermarket commented that it was good I was getting out and 7 sons are still living at home,one long term as has special needs and one short term so we have to homemade baking has been lovely but sometimes one has to eat more than just cake! I know the cliches about time will help but right not I just feel so angry and .off!
Pressure? I felt the pressure inside me. Get over it! Get better! How to do that when every time I started to feel alive, the reality of what I’d lost overwhelmed me? Catherine, you talk of your moment. One night about four months out, I was sitting in the dark, crying, when a car pulled into the alley beside my house. Without thinking, I instantly 8766 realized 8767 Gene was finally home. What a blindsiding crash that was! Many times, I’ve sat at my computer, sure that if I turned around, he will be sitting at his desk ready to say something. We happily did everything together, seldom apart, 79/7 for eleven years.
No. Feminism was created to destroy the family and curb population growth. 8775 After overpopulation ran out of control, the female mice in John Calhoun’s “mouse universe” experiment stopped breeding, and the male mice withdrew from the company of others entirely, eating, sleeping, feeding and grooming themselves but doing little else. They had shiny coats, but empty lives.
Never before in history have relations between the sexes been so fraught with anxiety, animosity and misunderstanding..the sight of society breaking down, and ordinary men and women being driven into separate but equal misery, thanks to a small but highly organised group of agitators, is distressing. Particularly because, as increasing numbers of social observers are noticing, an entire generation of people—mostly men—are being left behind in the wreckage of this social engineering project. 8776
We 8767 ve found anonymous support from strangers who don 8767 t know us but are as close as we can come to confiding in people who know exactly what we 8767 ve been through. We tell these strangers some of the most intimate details of our lives, knowing that out of thousands of people, one person might understand us and, out of thousands of people, no one will be heartless to enough say, 8775 You did what ? You 8767 re crazy! 8776
Catherine Tidd is a widow and the Founder of , a free social support network dedicated to anyone who has lost a significant other. She is also a writer, public speaker, and mother to three entertaining children. She received a degree in English from Rollins College in 6998 and has since worked as a writer, editor, Marketing Manager, and Event Planner. Originally from Louisiana, Ms. Tidd currently lives in Denver, CO. To read more of Catherine's work, visit http://
you captured it I feel alone at church, my husband used to reach for my hand when we prayed his arm was around me at some point during the sermon I miss having a travel partner I don 8767 t like being in the 8775 singles club 8776 for a while I thought about how badly I wanted to remarry, but then I realized it was really my husband I was looking for he has been gone for 8 months and I feel as if my grief is deepening I hope there will be light at the end of this tunnel at some point.
You said it perfectly, but that thud doesnt seem to be a one off but a rampage of thuds, when i 8767 m trying my best and everyone is asking how i am and im trying to hold it together and just get through the day, to get up, get the kids to school, bide the morning till my comes home feed them, clothe them, deal with the beaurocracy of no money and yet that realising thud of wanting to ask him what to do continuously dawns. one month in and i dont want to deal with the realisation everyday. I just dont want to.
This so perfectly describes what I have just been going through today. My wonderful, courageous husband died two weeks ago after becoming sicker and sicker over the past year. I just returned from being with our son and his family for the Thanksgiving holiday, so last evening and today were the first time I 8767 ve been alone in our home since his death. I 8767 ve never experienced such a crushing loneliness it is exactly as you have described. We had been married for almost 97 years and were rarely apart for lengthy periods of time. The hole left in my life is huge. I know he is at peace and is no longer suffering, and for that I am relieved, but oh my, losing him is just so, so incredibly hard. Thank you for your words.
I 8767 ve always looked at it this way, Every generation has said the following 8775 I am never going to be like my parents 8776 and guess what, most generations did the exact same thing as their parents. But it was the Boomers who grew up with the material wealth earned by the sweat and blood of the Greatest Generation who screwed that up. The generation who stood naked in the rain at Woodstock said, 8775 Hey I 8767 m gonna be cool with my kids. I 8767 ll smoke dope with my son. Let my teenage daughter bring her boyfriend over for the night 8776 And you know what? They actually went ahead and did it!
No. the happiest guy is the one in his 95s/55s enjoying his pursuits and able to meet his responsibilities.
I 8767 m in that category and my daughter wants to create an on-line dating profile for me. (wife dumped me a few years ago, I kept the kids and the house. She visits.) I asked my daughter if she thinks I 8767 m happy? She said yeah dad, but you deserve to have somebody!! I asked if she ever stopped to think that perhaps I 8767 m happy not despite the fact I have no woman in my life, but because if it?
ALL boys are born of women no?
Men since the industrial revolution are almost exclusively raised by women.
Educated at least in primary school by women.
men are harangued in college by harridans at every turn.
and then in the workplace if they can even find employment
And yet they complain about these very men they have created!
When the wall finally looms large, the woman 8767 s SMV does a fast fade, and the biological clock chimes loud.
now they look to an older MAN for a father for children, comfort, stability.
Man, don 8767 t think like that. If you have a good heart, then maybe you are just looking in the wrong places or approaching the wrong women. You should really try going after women who look a whole lot than they are. I really don 8767 t think there is much hope in finding a long term partner in someone who hasn 8767 t experienced life yet unless you are just as immature as them. I don 8767 t think a woman really appreciates or recognizes a good man until after they 8767 ve been through a few bad ones. I don 8767 t know why God blessed me with youthful looks but some people think I am as as 68 even though I am in my 85s. There is a looking woman out there for you, just make sure you look for her qualities not just her looks. I never get with guys because of their looks or their money. I fall in love with their character and I know that if you are more selective, you 8767 ll probably find the right one. There are good and bad on both sides of the coin.
Know what you mean Jordan my husband passed away in February. I just purchased a home for my 8 year old daughter and I and the day of closing (when most people are happy) I just wept and wept. I had this overwhelming feeling, 8775 I shouldn 8767 t be buying a home by myself, that 8767 s not how the story was supposed to go. We only buy things together. 8776
It was the realization that there 8767 s no 8775 together 8776 anymore.
How do you describe what comes after the loss of a spouse? An experience unique to the person who finds him or herself thrust into that vast chasm. Complete understanding of the finality of such a loss is forever a moving target for the person left behind. You are unwittingly tethered to a nemesis beyond your comprehension that can pull you to depths you never imagined existed. Life continues as normal around you, and sometimes you assimilate into these familiarities for a time. All the while shadows in your mind are whispering to you things you do not want to face. Well wishers ask how you are doing, and if you’re feeling better, opening doors you struggle to keep closed. Plans you had, goals you had set are now feathers in the wind that drift away from you with no concern. Each sunrise brings with it the empty silence of the new day. Your heart and mind ride in the hollow vessel that used to be you. Drifting from place to place in a groove carved out years before, as you stare out the window of your life while thinking about the past.
This Sunday will be four weeks since I lost my husband. Married 77 years, together 85 since our late teen years, like someone else noted, more than half our lifetime. He was gone in a minute and the sadness is sometimes unbearable. I keep saying to myself, okay, I got thru another day, or I got thru another week..do I get a reward..do I get to have you back again. No, just that I have to do it all over again tomorrow.
So beautifully put. And makes me feel I am not the only one going through this, and that someone understands. Reading this was like someone telling me my own 8767 s been over a year and the pain is as deep and permanent as day one. It just becomes a little easier to assimilate. A 8766 Thank you 8767 is all I can say through the tears. May you have the peace and contentment you need. Love and hugs!
I appreciate your article very much, and thanks for sharing it. It is good to have the words there, to speak what is in my mind when I couldn 8767 t express it even to myself. When I didn 8767 t have the energy this morning to analyze why, this time this sunny, spring, and otherwise happy morning, I feel so desolate in spite of daffodils blooming and birds chirping wildly. Death trumps these things. Sometimes my emotions are a lot like the saran wrap around the onion in my refrigerator potent, yet willfully concealed.