Posted: 2018-01-07 00:43
I m not sure as a tall guy (well, just above average height really but I ll say tall as it s rare to find a woman taller than me) I could carry off the I am the beast attitude. I got bullied a lot for things other than my height and it never made me want to compensate for that by acting like I owned the universe. I ve tried pretending to be like that and it just seems false and not based on anything real. I m genuinely happy if people can pull it off in a respectful way and get somewhere with. It s just it seems a foreign concept to me. How do you get from being bullied and put down to I own the universe/I m the beast.
Hey eDoc, I really appreciate the help with the online profile examples. I 8767 m new to the online dating world and honestly I havent had much luck yet. Untill I saw your examples, I couldnt figure out why I wasnt getting any respondses. Now I know its because I need to change my whole set up around. Its hard to figure out what to write and not write in my profile because 6, Im not bad looking, and 7 i do lead a pretty interesting life. Obviously I just suck at making profiles lol. I still need some help on organization and describing myself. Im going to keep working on it and hopefully change my luck soon! Thanks for all the info so far and hopefully I can keep learning. Joey
I honestly think a lot of the problem has to do the massive amount of attention the women receive. They might claim everyone on there is "creepy," but I think the problem lies more with the fact that they receive so much constant attention, that those of us who are decent just simply get lost in the shuffle. The girls I work with use online dating basically describe it like looking through a catalog. They constantly get bombarded with messages, they quickly glance at the profile, make a quick (often shallow) judgment, and then move on to the next one. Some have been on the site for several years now and I feel that the more attention they receive, the more unrealistic their standards become. It reaches a point where I''m not sure that ANY guy is good enough for what these women are looking for.
Actually he isn t very handsome. I find him quite attractive, yes, and I will concede he falls into the more generic good looking spectrum than not, but he also has that real nerdy look which I like A LOT (also since this is a thread about height, he s maybe 5 9 tops I m 5 6 ). In fact I was stunned when I first met him (we were friends for years first) that he was a major player. Not in the bad way, just in the way that he would go to bars and pick up girls all the time. He does not at all look like one. And honestly that was one of the reasons I was hesitant to go out with him when he asked.
I think you underestimate both the shallowness of most men and what girls do to appear 8775 naturally 8776 pretty or beautiful. I use 6 products alone just to even my skin tone, hide my blemishes, and make sure that make up stays on all day. I 8767 ve yet to meet a guy who knew I was wearing anything until they see me without it and only two of those products have any color to them (and they 8767 re both skin tone.)
I am not so much about looks or status myself. Trust me, I have quickly moved on to the next page with six-pack man, successful businessman etc. I personally find it really hard to find men that write a decent profile. I''m not saying they are not out there, I am just saying I have found it hard to find. I have found just a lot of simple profiles. I guess most men on dating sites are not my type. Not that they are bad, but they are just not my type and it shows because most men don''t contact me either.
I''m a writer, so my profile tends to attract men with a high intellect or a desire to find an emotional match, so they comment on something I''d written primarily. However, the ones that catch a peek at my attractiveness or curvaceousness do mention it in their first message and their ssecond message and their third message and in text messages and, sometimes, on a first date where it''s inappropriate and, for lack of a better word, "creepy."
But that seems to be the core of these 7 groups differences. Your player friends are extroverted and display outcome independence ( which makes sense, considering one wouldn 8767 t care if they strike as much if they have a booty call on stand by ). I think you happen to have met 7 very special men who have an ability that many other men don 8767 t have. Something that most likely can 8767 t be taught and is inherent. Probably why they are actors to begin with, if I were to guess.
Thanks for having the boundless courage and integrity required to share this story which sheds light on the subversive presence of hatred and denial still existing to this day.
I stumbled upon your post after reading an account written in 6999 by a University of Maryland student named Joshua Solomon after he darkened his skin and traveled to the deep South to gain insight into the legitimacy of his black friends 8767 presentments.
It is stupefying to know that sentiments this deep and which pertain to nothing other than race can remain unapparent for decades even among our closest bonds and still be logicized by countless as 8766 not racist 8767 .
Thanks again for being among the most intelligent. It is indisputable that endless chronicles exist relating to this mentality disorder surely having shattered many family ties and which still remain untold.
I read a study that says women are more picky than men. They fall for the bad boys and think they can change them for the better. In the end, they get their hearts broken because they didn''t change. Again, studies has proven that dating bad boy''s never ever work out. By the time they get older and wiser and go after the nice guy that they blew off. They nice guys end up blow them off. Or is taken. So in the end. To me, both sexes need to relax and stop playing the games and act like mature adults if they''re any more left out there
Unlike you 8775 good sir 8776 there are millions of peope out there who do not care whether or not she dated a black man. It would be even better of you to keep your nose out of someone else 8767 s love life and trying to tell them their future. Focus on yourself, not someone else. It doesn 8767 t make sense any way, her mother is of Hispanic decent and her father is Caucausian. But of course, you don 8767 t know how to read further down so you missed that information.
I think women need to start taking more responsibility for themselves - rather than sit there receiving message upon message and complaining about it - they should actually do their own searches and find and message someone that seems suitable.
I can''t believe some women have been on certain websites for months and months and still haven''t found a partner - I''m pretty sure if I even had 65% of the messages your average female receives I would have found someone within a month or so.
I m not sgoch, but I d say try not being self deprecating. I make those kinds of jokes about myself too, and I ve discovered that even though they are funny, not everyone feels comfortable around them. I have stopped making such jokes when people first meet me and I don t find it not being me. It s just not being all of me in one go. You can absolutely start telling those jokes little by little as you get to know each other. Self deprecating jokes work best with people who already know you well, or in stand up comedy where it doesn t matter what people think of you. So yeah, maybe just try not to tell those kinds of jokes or put yourself down in the first few dates. You don t have to be overly peppy and smiley, just don t do those few things at first.
Also, I think any girl that is reasonably good looking and serious about finding someone won''t be a on a dating site very long - either it will prove too much for them and they''ll quit or they''ll find someone quickly. I''m always wary of the good looking girls that hang out on these sites long term. If you read their profiles they''ll normally have a laundry list of "must haves" that just screams high maintenance OR they won''t bother with any content at all and let their photos do all the work. These girls have let the massive amount of choice they get from online dating go to their head and most seem obsessed with finding the perfect guy. It wouldn''t surprise me if they end up getting used a lot by guys telling them everything they want to hear and then dumping them once they get them into bed. Funnily enough it doesn''t seem to occur to them that maybe they are looking for the wrong things.
As a guy who''s more successful in online dating than most men I just wanted to share my experience. I know, I''m technically adding to the very problem I''m complaining about by dating and sleeping with women I''m not attracted to. But, can you blame me if that''s usually all I can get online? Meet us halfway, you might find a guy who is amazing and will treat you with love and respect. There is a clear divide in what men and women can attain in terms of physical attractiveness online.
I ve noticed that I feel a lot of this when I m going through depression. Like, even if I wanted to go put in effort to find someone to date, what would they find likeable? Or, of course X broke up with me, because I am all kinds of terrible. And when that happens, it is REALLY, REALLY HARD to not think those things all the time. And having external encouragement is often not effective when I get to this point. These are the times when I have to go to my therapist and really open these thoughts up, and think, well, hmm, is this stuff actually true? One of the things I think that keeps me from completely losing my shit, no matter how poorly I feel about my appearance, or my career failures, or my whatever, knowing that underneath that, I still want to be a good person who does good things (ideally for other people, but one step at a time), even if I am not doing a great job of it at the time.
Interesting idea, but not my experience. I get my fair share of messages.. on average, 5 a day. I''m pretty good looking by most standards, though I''m fully aware I''m not the most attractive, and I often find messages from men who are far less physically attractive than the men I''ve dated IRL (some of whom I''ve met online!) Of all the men, most find my profile interesting and say so, even if there''s a blatantly obvious comment (about interests, what we''re seeking, or looks) that should make it obvious that we aren''t compatible. It''s like they ignore it and try, anyway.
Because in terms of their celebrity shelf life, the amount of time they 8767 re in the public eye without some element of their team is minuscule. Be it being dressed (not literally) by a fashion team or going through a magazine shoot 8767 s photos with a fine tooth comb to delete undesirable ones, not to mention the photoshopping increasingly involved these days, you 8767 re almost always seeing a person designed and tailored by committee. That 8767 s just what they look like, never mind where they are seen and who they are seen with.
I suspect men are welcome there as presenters or allies or to learn how to support women in their own businesses. An open policy also prevents some of the horrible intersectionality fails that tend to happen when people who aren t cis or aren t binary are involved. I imagine that men who attend because they re looking to find women to date are very unwelcome and will meet with a very negative response, even if they are not asked to leave.
We carefully “peruse” the onslaught of “opportunities” (. responses and messages) we receive because WE HAVE TO. Not because we a rude, stuck-up b*tches atop our thrones. Meanwhile, you guys are doing the ole, what is it? Oh yeah – “numbers game.” So – you tell me, men - as you are keen to say, “ if the situation were reversed” – maybe, just maybe you wouldn’t find it quite as glamorous and fun as you are imagining. We women are wading through a sea of what contains everything from – (best case scenario), truly good guys who perhaps don’t articulate themselves as a match on paper - all the way to a plethora of ( worst case scenario) - psychopaths, married men, rapists, pedophiles and just plain old weirdos, etc.