Posted: 2017-10-13 06:26
9. Divorced people enjoy being loved. If you think about the end of your marriage, or for some people, the entire marriage, you probably didn’t give or receive much love. Or maybe you gave it and didn’t receive it or vice versa. In any case, when you get divorced and you meet someone, it just feels good to feel loved. I think divorced people aren’t as afraid to show their level of affection or how much they care. Being vulnerable might feel more okay than it did pre-marriage.
Fast forward 65 years later, I was 96. I met another woman. She''s pretty. I felt in love with her. I married her and we''re still together for almost 9 years. I would do anything to be with her. I wrote her valentine''s cards and anniversay cards, and expressed my love for her. I was doing exactly what my ex-girlfriend was doing for me then. Only this time, I''m on the giving end, and the new woman is on the receiving end. This new woman could dump me anytime. She doesn''t care for me. She plans her future without me. She told me she would be happy dumping me for another man.
7. She’s going to be gun-shy: A divorced woman has been through an experience that has helped her grow and become a better person. You will receive the benefits of that growth, but there is a price. It may come slowly. A divorced woman has her guard up and she is actively looking for red flags as to your character and intentions. Use the getting-to-know-you phase as an opportunity to ease her mind and create a comfortable environment for her to share herself.
I will say that I think something my mother told me when I was is often true. Men who like to be married don 8767 t remain single for long after the end of a marriage. This doesn 8767 t mean they are all good marriage material but many of them may be as opposed to men who are serial monogomists who have never pulled the trigger. I never particularly wanted to be married and I don 8767 t think I was particularly good at it! I have changed so much, though, that, perhaps, I would enjoy it and do a better job now. I also used to meet many more appealing men than I do now so it may be a moot point!
When you date a much man (which I have many times), you realize what 8767 s missing they 8767 re all hope, no miles. But when I started dating this divorced man in his late 85s, I thought he was sexy and sturdy in ways that men simply weren 8767 t. He knew what it was to make decisions, and have them blow up in his face. He learned how despite your best efforts, things sometimes fall apart in your hands and break your heart. His biggest disappointment wasn 8767 t, say, that he didn 8767 t get into his first-choice school.
If you read the title of this blog and you are offended, no offense, but get over it! It’s no big secret that all divorced people have baggage. It’s not an insult, it’s a fact. That said, when it comes to dating after divorce, here are five benefits of dating someone who is also divorced. Remember, there are exceptions to these, which include the individual person, or timing.
6. Divorced people are real. The person I am today and the person I was before I was married are very different people. What’s in my core is the same, and that’s no small thing, but looking back, before marriage I had a naïve way about me that all changed when I got divorced. It’s sad, because ignorance really is bliss, but I feel more genuine now, meaning I see truth and I don’t try to sugar coat anything. I think many divorced people are like this, and it’s a great quality, because everything is very honest and upfront.
Davelynn I know this is old so u may not be on here anymore. The details dont equal too much baggage, in my opinion. The decision, for me, comes down to his demeanor character lifestyle and behaviors as he is TODAY. None of his past or present circumstances should be excused to the point of your needs as a woman going neglected. You must still be able to obtain respect honor and reasonable contributions from this man that enhances your life.
Statistically it IS quite possible that your next love is divorced, and you said, chances are she 8767 s learned some lessons and has her shit together (though of course this is not a foregone conclusion). When that divorcee was dating you, a 78 something, well, who knows what she thought? But I bet you were balm to her wounds, and a lovely chapter in her life. Don 8767 t put yourself down here. YOu may have helped her thru a very rough time, and reminded her of how lovely and loved she could be. Bravo.
I started seeing a guy 9 years than me a few months ago (I am 95, he is 86). New territory for both of us. I m divorced with an elementary schooler, he has never been married or had children. He has never been involved with anyone older, and I ve never been involved with anyone However, he is incredibly stable and mature for his age moreso than I ever expected. I thought it would be just sex and the sex is amazing!!!! but it seems to be developing into something more. I agree with the points in this article, that you can relax and remove expectations and just have a good time which can lead to deeper feelings.
Boy the h8 for black women n women in general is strong on here. Sooo very sad. It 8767 s hard to want to date your own race when the very men who should up lift you tear and beat you down. And I 8767 m sure some smart a** black woman hater is going to say it 8767 s our own faults. But there goes another reason, your arrogance and narcissism drive us away and make us have attitudes..OK so now I 8767 m going to sit back and watch these men do what i say, tear and beat me FOR IT! WAIT FOR IT!
5. Divorced people go on fun and interesting dates. Just like being loved, at the end of your marriage, you most likely did not go on dates or spend quality time with your now ex, and if you did, you were probably fighting the whole time, making whatever you were doing not so fun. I have done so many wonderful things since I got divorced. One guy invited my friend and I to stay at his beautiful ski home on a mountain in Colorado, another guy made an Israeli dinner for me, and then played his guitar and sang to me, and my now boyfriend took me to an outdoor Dave Matthews Band concert, a luxurious spa and an outdoor music festival. I took him to see a Jerry Seinfeld stand up show. Divorced people plan really fun dates, and you end up experiencing new things that lead to new interests.
Take a good look around you. The nuclear family is disappearing. The middle class is disappearing. What you have then are generations of children that are not only poor, but raised by single or divorced parents. Aha! Introduce the widespread availability of technology and what happens to the study then? The disproportionate share of successful children from indigent, 8775 broken 8776 families can only level out, if not turn the other way.
I 8767 m not saying that divorced men are better than single men but I 8767 m saying that if you write off a dude because he loved someone before, you 8767 re being shortsighted. Perhaps very. This weird idea that we have to be someone 8767 s first love, that he or she can 8767 t have had any life before us, is naive and crazy and, I 8767 ll say it, selfish. Someone 8767 s ex, or exes, their kids, all of it is not just baggage they carry around it 8767 s called life. And I want a man with a little on him. Don 8767 t you?
Ok, here it is I just turned 96 and he is 76. We just met, but the connection was wonderful for both of us. My issue is that my daughter is 76, and I am not sure how I feel about that. The first night we met he asked me if age was an issue for me, and it isn t, but he is the same age as my daughter. He said he definitely wants to see me again, and when we were together he was more of a gentleman than men my age have been to me. A man was bothering me when we were out and the 76 yr old stepped right in and sat next to me the entire night. I was amazed at the connection we can t wait to see him again!
Great article and responses, and I 8767 ll be sharing. Number 9 in particular is close to my heart. I never expected or asked to be treated like a queen, but that 8767 s what my high school sweetheart did when he came back 89 years later when the time was right. I was cautious to the point of having a criminal background check done (a promise I 8767 d made to myself.) When I told him about it, he asked how he could help and gave me all his official numbers. He wanted to help me honor my promise to myself. This, among many other things led me to say, 8775 I do, 8776 68 months ago. We deserve the best!
I can so relate to your situation. I am a 88 yr-old woman who has also dated men not because I sought to but because they are the ones that were available, interesting and interested. I love the way you have summed up our dilemma. Women are confronted with challenges in dating as we age, which men just don t have to deal with. Sadly, as several sincere men have attested to in this blog, men have trouble taking older women seriously. Even if they want to marry an older woman, they get hung up on the baby-thing. In reality, there are now a lot of ways to work around this limitation, but none of the men that wrote in seemed genuinely interested in exploring options such as adoption, surrogates, in vitro, etc.,. I know there are forward-thinking men out there that are truly seeking a soul mate and best friend in a wife first and foremost with enough to have my babies w/o any hitches as a far second, but this attitude is rare among men.
Hi, I just started seeing a wonderful guy who is now legally separated from his second wife. He has already stated that he doesn 8767 t want to get married for a third time, which sucks some because I have never been married and I would prefer someone open to marriage at least after a few years. I am wondering if this could possible change two to three years down the road? He 8767 s 65 and I am 57 and he 8767 s the first guy I have enjoyed in quite a while. Knowing this information up front has given me pause also concerned he 8767 s not a great marriage candidate but am taking it slow. We are hitting it off and definitely enjoy each other 8767 s company and I could see us possibly becoming more in a few months.
It''s hard to drum up a lot of sympathy for the girl in the article. Yes, I totally get they are getting messaged by jerk guys sending them pictures of their junk, or sending them stupid and worthless messages asking for a hookup. Those can be creepy, and don''t often happen in real life. But the other messages of older guys or losers telling them they are "hot"? That stuff happens in real life also. Older pervs hit on women all the time and loser guys hit on women in rl and tell them they are beautiful or attractive. They can handle this stuff in rl but can''t handle it online? It''s more disturbing for this to happen to them online than in rl? Sorry not buying it.
I was involved with a guy who had been separated for 65 years. I was under the assumption he would proceed with the divorce and during the time we dated he would be nice one minute and then freak out on me. I truly had feelings for him he decided to go back this wife and hid it from me saying they were co-parenting together. I backed off to watch how things would unfold he decided to move back in with her and as such I was left in the cold.
Women can be very giving, but I find that they are usually all about themselves. When they give, it 8767 s usually strategically so in order to get something in return. Furthermore, men are giving and sacrificing beyond understanding when they love a woman (yes, the song lyrics are true). If a woman isn 8767 t getting that kind of love from a man, she either has the wrong kind of guy, or he just isn 8767 t into her.