Posted: 2017-11-29 17:26
It s really hard to say if you re picking rude people or being overly sensitive without knowing you or the situation a bit better. You do have to be conscious of how you re communicating with people. Sometimes sharing your story (without adequately acknowledging theirs) can sound like you re one-upping them. Or perhaps you find yourself attracted to a certain type of person, sometimes confidence that attracts us can be a double edged knife of vanity.
She believes that she is special and that she deserves fame, fortune, success and happiness. She often overestimates her own attractiveness and focuses on displaying or flaunting her physical attributes. She has strong fantasies of power, perfect love and extreme beauty regarding herself, which makes her feel superior to others. Her Facebook page is an endless cascade of “selfies” made in front of a mirror and drenched in daily updates meant to inform the world (who doesn 8767 t care) of her greatness.
"If you have your own career aspirations and your success could take the spotlight off him, he will sabotage you," she said. "One classic sabotage technique is this: just before your big interview, your partner will make a demand of your time or have an emotional fit that will distract you from your goal and you will fail to achieve to the best of your potential because you were too busy helping out."
Dear John: Although you seem at first appearances that you are the most awesome guy and your wife is a complete disaster, I have to say that i have dated and almost married a man like you. I don t deny the difficulties you have endured with your mate nor try to say that I know you or her and what you are going through. However, your letter sounds like a self-richeous guy who has a hard time seeing another point of view for the reasons mentioned above. You seem nice and I m sure she is too if you accept her for who she is and stop trying to push your moral standards on her.
She knows more, she knows better, she’s more interesting than you. In conversations when you talk to her, all of her chatter is about what she has done. If you begin to talk about yourself, she links back to something she’s done in her life so that the focus of the discussion again becomes all about her. She can’t talk about her life without dropping plenty of superlatives and turning every milestone into a bragging moment.
She knows more, she knows better, she 8767 s more interesting than you. In conversations when you talk to her, all of her chatter is about what she has done. If you begin to talk about yourself, she links back to something she 8767 s done in her life so that the focus of the discussion again becomes all about her. She can 8767 t talk about her life without dropping plenty of superlatives and turning every milestone into a bragging moment.
She believes that she is special and that she deserves fame, fortune, success and happiness. She often overestimates her own attractiveness and focuses on displaying or flaunting her physical attributes. She has strong fantasies of power, perfect love and extreme beauty regarding herself, which makes her feel superior to others. Her Facebook page is an endless cascade of “selfies” made in front of a mirror and drenched in daily updates meant to inform the world (who doesn’t care) of her greatness.
I went on a date with a guy once who barely talked at all. I tried asking questions, getting him to open up, and eventually just decided I was getting nothing back and to make it less awkward, just blabbed about myself for the rest of the date. Needless to say we did not go out again, but it s always possible he s walking around telling people about this self-absorbed girl he went on a date with, when I was just gutted that talking to him was like getting water from a stone.
An example is a girl who loves to call me, thinks we are still dating and keeps calling me when she drives to and from places. I ve been mostly ignoring her but every now and then i ll feel bad and pick up the phone. Things never progressed past the 8rd date and she keeps hinting at meeting again. She also went radio silence on me for a month and now wants to come back again. I m not having it. especially because i just don t feel valued. She doesn t ask me about my day or my life. its her show. and I just don t care.
I m a guy who for a long time worried about opening up to women so I m not sure how to proceed forward. Every attempt I made opening up and talking about things like emotion, fears, anxieties, resulted in the girl either losing interest or her to continue to control the bulk of the conversation and me slowly starting to detach and distance myself. I never seemed like I was important or valued and honestly its a shitty way to date. I have a hard time sticking around and I see it as a bad sign for the future. Should I stick around longer? Am i making a mistake?
If you took Christian vows, then it may be time to remind her that she vowed to love, honor, and OBEY you. Of course, that s probably just another argument in the brewing. Do yourself a favor and get the book I recommended, read it and apply what you learn in there. It s a great place to start, and I also highly recommend you get Dr. Marshall Rosenberg s book Non Violent Communication as a way to complement Where to Draw the Line. Together, they work wonders.
Words you use regarding yourself: eating healthy, staying active, helping others, being financially secure, having a loving home environment, and making sure we raise our daughters to be adults with those same values, always try to do the right thing, I always try to do the right thing by using analytical thinking, logical reasoning, and my moral antenna, I am trying to HELP HER to adopt healthy habits and hobbies, only trying to quantify the facts, SHOW HER that she is being unreasonable and unfair, I can clearly lay out the facts of our disagreements and try to bring about compromise, but I am the one that normally ends up compromising just to bring peace. WOW!!! You have such a level head! Seems like you know everything and are not affected by the scientific reality of personal perception!
Have you ever actually spoken with self-centered people? They re great at talking about themselves. Often they will ask questions with the intent of somehow making it about themselves. Or, if they re bad enough, their questions will be terrible, almost intentionally so, such that the conversation turns back on them. Additionally, if a person has a history of self-centeredness, their questions sometimes come across as insincere time killers just until the person can start talking about themselves again. So even if OP asked good questions, a self-centered person really wouldn t care. If it s not about them, it doesn t get priority.
The radio silence coupled with OP s responses ( yah, oh etc) tell me this person is likely the problem, not him. Over time self-centered people practically train us to respond this way since very little of what we say even matters to them. They essentially just want to hear that you re listening, which is why terse responses that basically indicate you re still alive are often the only thing with which we can respond.
I have a friend exactly like this. I spent two months doing work in the Middle East-- when I returned, he asked me to hang out-- and didn t ask me a single question about my time there. I asked him questions about his life, what he was up to, etc. I eventually brought up the Middle East thing because I wanted to fucking talk about the amazing time I had there-- he asked a question, I answered, and then he immediately began talking about himself.
He would literally compliment himself while talking to me all the time, and whenever he’s complimented, he’d say “I know”. The thing about most narcissists is that A. they think they’re better than everyone else B. they’re selfish/self-entitled (obviously) C. they don’t really feel that bad or have true feelings for others and D. this is strange, but they’re actually really harsh on themselves. It’s weird because they seem very confident and secure, but they take other people’s criticism very harshly and will begin to question/wonder a lot & try to better themselves